CORE OF MY EXISTENCE  REMAINS MY DAUGHTER  MEGHNA, SAYS GULZAR

Natasha Coutinho (BOMBAY TIMES; June 13, 2024)

Gulzar’s home in Mumbai is called Boskyana, and it’s named after his daughter Meghna, whom he lovingly calls Bosky. “The core of my existence remains my daughter,” says the celebrated poet, lyricist, screenwriter and director, who was feted with the Jnanpith award earlier this year.

“I had already imagined becoming a father to a girl child much before she arrived. Once she was born, she became the apple of both our eyes – her mother Rakhee and me. Rakhee was a working mother, and I would take on the role of both a father and mother when she was away on shoots. I believe there is a strong maternal side within me. I remember how she was upset with her caretaker on one occasion because she wanted two plaits. This is why I learnt to braid her hair,” remembers Gulzar, sitting in his cosy library, sipping on green tea.

When it was time to put Meghna in school, she was taken to a kindergarten that she loved so much that she didn’t want to leave it, though other schools were available in the Bandra-Khar area.

Gulzar shares, “We decided to admit her there. Later, I found that it was run by actor Pran’s daughter. I also loved taking her along to buy books – be it from the stores or on the pavement. Once, when she was still a child, she confidently asked the shopkeeper if he had Hans Christian Andersen’s book of fairy tales. The man was surprised that a child was familiar with the author’s name!”

Talking about how Meghna grew up to become a confident young woman, who made her own decisions, he says, “She and her friends decided to join St Xavier’s College and her mother was worried how she would travel. But she learnt to take the train instead of going by car. I wish she had taken to sports, but her interest lay in dramatics. She also met her then-boyfriend and now husband Govind during that time. Like the daughters from film families, she started getting movie offers, though she wanted to complete her studies. I found out about her interest in filmmaking after she started assisting Saeed Mirza,” he recalls.

When it came to going abroad, Meghna had already decided on an institution and did not allow either parent to recommend her anywhere. “Both she and Govind moved to America. Both Govind’s parents and we knew they would marry someday and did not pressurize them,” Gulzar says.

He will turn 90 this year, but the ability to see the humorous side of life hasn’t left Gulzar. “There is the famous story of the cat and the tiger. The cat teaches the tiger all sorts of survival skills, but finally, the tiger pounces on the cat. Seeing the danger, the cat climbs a tree and escapes – and the tiger realizes that he’s not been taught this skill. Meghna learnt all the other skills I have on her own, but even today, when it comes songwriting for her films, she comes to me. She does not let me read her scripts before they are ready, but I’m proud of her journey from Filhaal to Sam Bahadur. The best gift she has given me is my grandson, Samay Gulzar Sandhu,” he tells us.

I am a headstrong director, and as a lyricist, my father always offers me that space: Meghna
“Though both my parents are famous people, I’ve had a very normal upbringing. It was nothing like today’s celebrity kids. They were always very present, and I never felt that either of them was not there for me. It isn’t easy for a father to raise a daughter, but he would tie my sash and do my pigtails just the way I wanted them. He would hold me from the back when I went cycling down the slope… these are precious memories. My parents raised me in a way that I could make my own choices and live with them. It was equal parenting and positive reinforcement – that’s how I would describe it,” says Meghna.

She adds, “Though my father writes my film’s songs, he keeps egging me on to write my own songs. I think in English, so when one of my films needs lyrics in English, I do my own writing as well. I am a headstrong director, and as a lyricist, he always offers me that space and courtesy. I hope my son, Samay, imbibes the same values, though he is developing his own personality. Samay and he share a unique bond that’s independent of me or my husband.”