Ruman Ganguly (BOMBAY TIMES; October 16, 2019)

This Durga Puja, MP and actor Nusrat Jahan insisted, was very different from anything she had celebrated earlier. Getting decked up in her husband, Nikhil Jain’s favourite sari, playing the dhaak, having bhog and then watching immersion of idols — every moment during the five days of Puja has been special. Nusrat sat down for an exclusive interview and shoot. Excerpts:

How different was this year’s Puja?
I was never into pandal-hopping during the Pujas. I would visit some pandals only if I had some professional commitments including Puja inauguration. Nikhil tells me that two years back, I had promised to show him Kolkata’s Pujas. Though I have no memory of that promise, I still wanted to keep my word. Besides, I also wanted to show him how Ma Durga is welcomed in Bengali culture, how the dhaak is played and so on. As a result, this time my Puja celebration was very different.

You even had bhog…
Yes, we did. The best part was when Nikhil played the dhaak, not once did he seem like an amateur. He had a lot of confidence when he played the dhaak and even made me dance to the beats. On Thursday evening, we went to meet Didi (CM Mamata Banerjee) for Bijoya Sammilani. We were offered naru there. Nikhil, who had never tasted a narkel naru before, pronounced it ‘nara’. It was too adorable when I heard him say that. All these sweet nothings made my Puja really special.

We’ve heard that Nikhil even tells you how to deck up and offers you his suggestions…
Yes, he does. The day my stylist wants to tie up my hair, he will just come up and say: ‘Chul baandhbe keno? (Why will you tie up your hair?)’ That’s it. If I keep my hair open, he might say this side is not correct. Initially, we had started wondering if we have a new stylist with us. Now, my stylist, Sandy, has made friends with him and he convinces him.

Trolling has now become common for you. Even during this year’s Puja, you got trolled for offering anjali or playing the dhaak. How do you handle all this?
I have offered anjali earlier as well. Probably, it wasn’t that big an issue. Two years back, I had wished people on Durga Puja and had got trolled for it. That became a topic for national news. I was sleeping at home and suddenly woke up to this news. Mine was a very innocent wish and yet trolls had reservations on that. Trolling is no longer new for me. But yes, life threats are. I have been very strong always. My thought process can’t be hindered by what trolls say.

This year, some clerics have expressed reservations on your Puja participation. It was never an issue then...
It is still not an issue. We have worked hard to be in front of the camera and these people are getting it for free. It is an opportunity for them if the media calls them up and asks them to be in front of the camera for 30 minutes. They will be happy to do that. Those who claim to be custodians of jannat have not fed me. They are all craving for limelight. I am not bothered if these people want to be in the limelight taking my name. I don’t even feel like answering them back. That’s because I don’t want to talk to people who do not have a basic understanding of humanity.

How do you keep calm during such situations?
The best part is that I no longer need to reply to trolls. People are doing it on my behalf. Even those like Javed Akhtar ji and Onir have answered on my behalf.

What was your reaction when you saw that?
Normally, people are not supportive. But when you see people with such liberal thoughts speaking in your favour, it means a lot. I thank Javed Akhtar ji and Onir for answering the trolls on my behalf. It gives a lot of strength.

How did you learn to take everything in your stride?
I think, life taught me that. I learnt all my lessons from life. I get angry only at people I love. My anger is abhimaan. My maximum reaction would be to throw away my phone. These days, I do not even do that since phones are very expensive. I choose things that are less expensive.

Lokkhi Puja (Lakshmi Puja) was celebrated on Sunday. What is your definition of a ‘lokkhi meye’ (the perfect girl)?
Earlier, the definition of ‘lokkhi meye’ was someone who looked like a goddess. The definition includes attributes like good looks, the ability to cook well and be calm. But there are other important qualities, too. Home is a separate world. Professional space is different. I try to balance my home and workspace. Today’s ‘lokkhi meye’ has to know about her parents’ expectations and live up to that. She has to be aware that her sister admires her and needs to conduct herself in a way that she upholds the family’s respect. It is also about acknowledging that there are many others who are inspired by her and taking care of their expectations. After marriage, it is about also taking care of her husband. The perfect ‘lokkhi meye’ has to be able to balance all these with elan. There are many women who actually do that. They take a bus to work, manage professional issues and then return home to cook or even help the children with the homework.

What is the toughest part of maintaining this balance?
Managing time is the toughest part. A day only has 24 hours. That means, I have to compromise on my sleep. I love to laze around. I love being very lazy at times. I have very little time to do that now.

Do you consider yourself to be a ‘lokkhi meye’?
I have never thought of it that way. But I want to believe what my parents have said. I guess, I am one though sometimes there is a bit of a Chandi image, too, that I carry. I think, unless you worship Saraswati, you can’t be Lakshmi. I’d say I have a combination of both Saraswati and Lakshmi.

How important is money (Lakshmi) for you?
It is important for everyone. We are all earning in order to maintain a good lifestyle. We used to have debates in school saying money is the root of all evils. We were asked to choose between crying in a fancy car or smiling in a cycle. I never chose a cycle because I knew that crying or smiling is in my hands. I felt riding in a fancy car was always a better option. I have always aspired to earn enough to fulfil my dreams and that of my family members. I wanted to be stable enough to be able to do that.

What are your dreams now made of?
My next agenda would be to keep up the promises I have made to people.
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ON NUSRAT, THE LOKKHI BOU

She is the quintessential lokkhi bou (perfect bahu) and I am so proud of her. The way she gels with all the members of the family is praiseworthy. She takes care of her team, my parents, her constituency, our home — I’m amazed by her time management skills. The best part is she keeps her cool and dignity despite all odds. As a husband, I couldn’t have asked for more. She performs all her personal and professional duties without complaining. My first Durga Puja with her after marriage was fantastic.We offered our first anjalitogether,played the dhaak,took part in Sindoor Khela and created everlasting memories.

— Nikhil Jain, Nusrat’s husband