He has a voracious appetite for movies, conversations, and food, of course. Yes, he admits that he is a 'good proponent of the urban guy', but the actor in him is hungry for more than just that. He admires heroic characters, but he is fascinated by the dark side. On the eve of his next release, Chef, directed by Raja Krishna Menon, Saif Ali Khan talks to us about dinner table chats with his family, his views on our modern-day society, parenting, relationships, films and fads. He serves it up in small helpings, but leaves you with enough food for thought. Chew on...

Chef talks about how 'The family that eats together, stays together'. Do you believe in it, too? Were 'family meals' a big part of your growing-up days?
It's more like the family that doesn't eat together, doesn't stay together. What makes Chef special is that it deals with urban issues, like not having enough time to spend with your children, prioritizing matters in your life and following your heart when it comes to your job and dreams. Then there is this unconventional relationship, which is common in India today. Couples are getting divorced, and it is getting increasingly tough to balance work and family life. It's a story that speaks to urban India. Yes, even my mom tried it at one point, it's a good rule. It's good to sit at the table, turn off the television and talk. There is always a discrepancy between the ideal family lunch and the reality. And of course, if you are forced to do it, then it's not the same. It's like communism then...when someone tells you that you have to do this (laughs!!) I guess parents understand that if you don't pay attention to all this, then families drift apart. In this digital age, people tend to have controlled conversations. However, I think relationships need open conversations, vigilance and constant communication. Food is the glue that can keep it all together.

Did you have open dinner table conversations with your parents?
Yes, sometimes, but my parents were definitely authority figures. We had more such figures in our family. My grandmom (daadi), who was the matriarch and the Begum of Bhopal, was an incredible woman who called the shots. My parents were liberal; my mom (Sharmila Tagore) would have a couple of glasses of wine and ask me, 'Have you started smoking yet?' I would confess and tell her, 'Yes, little bit'. Then, I would nearly get chucked out of the house and I'd wonder if I was being too honest (laughs!). I think you can never be friends with your kids while they are growing up. People try to be cool and be friends with their children, but it doesn't work. I think that you have to be a parent and an authority figure. You can be friendly with them, but not their friend, because they have their own set of friends. Later in life, you can hopefully reach that stage.

Talking about your movies, with Chef, you are in your comfort zone again, playing the urban, suave and sophisticated character that you pull off with ease. Personally, you are drawn to characters with negative shades (Omkara, Rangoon), though urban romances have worked best for you...
When I am playing urban roles, I have a lot of fun with improvisation, because it's at the same mental level that I am at. While playing characters that are different from my social strata, I have to manufacture everything, as I can't react spontaneously. I am a good proponent of the urban guy. I think Vishal Bhardwaj is fascinated by dark shades, he writes such characters very well. I think a little bit of the darker side suits me, it comes naturally to me. I would love to do it more, but sometimes, it gets difficult to constantly play against the audience's emotion. When you are playing heroic characters where your moral compass is correct, it is much easier. In Vishal's world, it's always far more exciting to be the negative guy than the hero. Given the choice between Omkara's title role and Langda Tyagi, there is no question about which one I would pick. Again, given the choice between Shahid's role in Rangoon and Rusi Billimoria, it's a clear choice for me. Having said that, sometimes, it is nice to see the audience rooting for you. The whole screenplay is written around everyone rooting for the heroic character. Now, I would like to play slightly more heroic parts in my movies.



When a few back-to-back films don't fare well at the box office, does it give you sleepless nights? Does it rattle your confidence?
You can think all sorts of things when your films don't work; you can even start doubting yourself, but the point is that people were not interested in watching the story. An actor can easily take the failure of a film personally, but I don't think the audience dislikes the actor personally. We aren't important enough for people to feel that way. Of course, when a film fails, there is a general atmosphere of gloom for a while. It is like a mini death and then you get over it. I have never been too shocked by a movie's result. It's like they say... that your doom never really surprises you, and you can see it coming (laughs!). It is a real pity that a film like Rangoon doesn't work. The intention is honourable - it is the marriage of commerce and art. So, when it doesn't work, it deters people from being experimental with intelligent cinema. Characters like Langda Tyagi (Omkara) and Rusi Billimoria (Rangoon) - I would do them again in a flash. So, does failure matter there? No, because you are still doing great stuff. If you are going to be regressive in order to be successful and then fail, you will get nailed, which I guess you then deserve.

If we look at the industry this year, the films that have been lapped up by the audience aren't big-starrer, big budget movies, barring a few. Do you think that the industry needs to focus on being more content-driven, than star-driven? Your thoughts?
The fact that you can make Rs 60-80 crore from a small film is great, but we haven't become a more intellectual society overnight. The star-driven blockbusters are also important. Yes, the volume of those smaller films will go up, as they are less scary to make. I am glad that we aren't just looking at the West. I think we need to look more inwards in terms of our own culture and stories, as that is the most international thing we can do with our movies. You can show Dangal to an American audience, rather than showing an urban, wannabe American romcom. In our country, we have always been schizophrenic in our growth in modern times. There are parts of our culture that's medieval and backward, and then there are parts which are extremely modern and forward thinking. I think it's the duty of those who are carrying the culture forward to carry more than their fair share of the load. Films are a reflection of what's going on in our society. That's how India is moving forward. There are also huge changes and modernity of thought, which shows in our movies. People keep saying that it is a really bad time and they talk about the economy, doom, left wing, right wing, et al. Sometime ago, the term intolerance had become a fad, and now it's gone. There are also good things happening in the city, but no one focuses on that.

Talking about fads, the hottest topic of debate in the industry over the past few months has been nepotism. Everyone has a view on it, you voiced yours, too. Do you think too much time has been spent ruminating on this?
We are symbols and we stand for something. I think there will always be some ongoing issues and debates; we like to discuss things and we even get heated up about it. I also like to argue and come up with different points of view. First of all, what happened at the awards show was a stupid joke. Later, people seemed to think that I was justifying it. I have never justified nepotism; I was simply trying to make a distinction between whether star kids getting launched is nepotism or something else. Probably, it is something that suits the producer. Anyway, all I have to say is that nepotism is awful. If you try and discuss it further, it sounds like you are justifying it.

Tell us about your memories of eating street food in Mumbai...
I remember eating bhelpuri after school (Cathedral) every day. This guy would sit with his thela at the corner of Carmichael Road, and I would eat teekha bhel for Re 1. I would tell him to not tell my mom or I would probably get beaten. While growing up, my whole experience of Indian cuisine was my mother trying to give me really safe, clean and boring food. So, I would run off to the servants' quarters and eat there, or while I was in Bhopal, I would eat mountains of rice, daal, fried bhindi, mirchi and pyaaz with the farmers. In my school in Bhopal, the boy next to me would eat aam ka achar and paratha, while my dabba had a pear and cheese sandwich. I would beg him to give me his food, and I think once I even stole his food and ate it. I would still love to wander around Mumbai and eat junk food, as that is a part of the city's lifestyle that I miss, but I don't do that anymore. In today's scenario, the media will land up there and it will become an event.

Are you excited about Sara's debut film, Kedarnath? Were you part of the selection process?
I am very excited about her debut, I think she is one of the most hard-working, humble and focussed people that I know. She wanted to be an actor ever since she did a television advertisement as a young girl. She has done some pretty serious theatre in New York, too. Sara is one of my most favourite people, I love her. I know everyone will say that about their children, but I admire the way she is. I wasn't involved in the selection of her first film. Having seen what I have signed recently, she probably thought that she'd rather ask somebody else. I don't think she is interested in my opinion (laughs!). On a serious note, Sara knows what she is doing, and we would hate to have one of those set-ups where papa is reading scripts for her, I can't even picture it. I've told her that the first thing she needs to know is which world she wants to be a part of and where does she see herself. To some extent, anyone can do some acting, but the trick is what you want to act in. If you get that right, it is amazing.