Coming to Kolkata is always special for actress and filmmaker Konkona Sen Sharma, who was recently in the city for a panel discussion on gender roles when it comes to household responsibilities. Hosted by Nimyle at the ITC Sonar, Kolkata, the discussion focused on shaping future values, emphasizing the importance of educating the younger generation about equality in cleaning and household chores. CT took this opportunity for a quick chat with the Killer Soup actress on the crucial role of parenting in breaking gender stereotypes, how she instilled these values in her son and more. Excerpts.

Konkona credits her unconventional upbringing, by her mother, Aparna Sen, for showing her that gender doesn’t define one’s abilities. “We mostly saw eye to eye, though I didn’t always grasp her wisdom as a child. Motherhood changed that,” she reflects.

Fondly recalling childhood, she adds, “Mom gave me Rs. 10 or 20 for chores—it taught me responsibility.”

Konkona believes the most important lessons children learn come from observation, not instruction. “What you watch and see growing up is more important than what your parents instruct,” she said. She saw her mom balance work and home life, while her father taught her responsibility. “He’d ask me, 'Why aren’t you taking your plate to the kitchen?'”

This lesson became crucial in teaching her son, Haroon, the value of self-sufficiency and respect. “Cleaning your own mess and putting your plate back in the kitchen was one of the most important things to learn. It isn’t respectful to expect others to do it for you,” she emphasised at the Clean Equal Mission panel discussion.

“Fathers are always praised for cooking a meal and looking after their children, but no one claps for mothers who do it every single day,” said the actress. She believes the key to breaking this stereotype is acknowledging the history of patriarchy and how it shapes expectations across generations, and societal inequalities. Highlighting the role of films in questioning gender norms, she referred to The Great Indian Kitchen and its Hindi remake Mrs, and pointed out how they expose the invisible labour of women and challenges deep-rooted traditions.

It is important to acknowledge the history of patriarchy and how it has shaped societal inequalities. 

Films like Mrs bring forth the invisible labour of women and challenge deep-rooted traditions

As a boy mom, it is important for me to teach my son Haroon gender equality and responsibility

I’ve grown up seeing my mom do all kinds of work, but at the same time, give equal priority to the chores at home

Sanya Malhotra-starrer Mrs has been a topic of discussion on social media over its depiction of casual sexism. But what surprised actor Nishant Dahiya, who portrays Sanya’s husband Diwakar, is the negative response he received.

“I’ve got a lot of love-hate! I got lovely messages from women who said they hate the character but appreciate my work,” he shares, adding, “But I’m getting abusive messages from men: ‘You dumb***k actor, go and eat rat poison!’ or ‘Die somewhere, you mother****er!’”

Nishant feels that this shows how it “touched a nerve”: “95% men are like Diwakar. Many are not yet aware of what they do. That’s the biggest problem.”

The film was panned by a section of social media for promoting ‘toxic feminism’, and he adds, “Our film is not limited to a woman saying, ‘I don’t want to do household work’. It’s about respecting your partner and her choices. When someone says this film is destroying the sanctity of marriage, I wonder why, because it was never about that.”

“There is no exaggeration,” says director Arati Kadav about her film Mrs, adding that the casualness of misogyny and patriarchy – not just from men but also other women – is shown in the film exactly as it is. The film, starring Sanya Malhotra in the lead role, highlights the story of an average Indian family that doesn’t realise the burden of invisible labour women carry every single day. From ‘ghar ka khana’ to ‘silbatte ki chutney’ – phrases used casually, and even fondly – Arati points out how loaded they actually are.

Both Sanya and Arati say that working on the film made them realise how they also have taken their mothers’ invisible workload for granted. “I told my mom, if I calculate the labour you put in making chips at home, instead of buying chips, suddenly that Rs. 200 will seem like nothing. But this labour is invisible because we’re conditioned not to see it,” Arati says.

Since its release, the film has sparked a debate, as many women have found the casual misogyny shown in the film very real and triggering. Arati says that women from all age groups have told her how deeply they related to the story, but it wasn’t a surprise to her – because this was a film where the research started from her own home.

With Mrs, an adaptation of Malayalam film The Great Indian Kitchen, Arati’s thought was simple: Society and families need to stop treating women like a ‘function’ – homemaker, cook, caretaker – and start seeing them as individuals with their own dreams, their own identities.

Arati says that the research for this film started from her own home before speaking to other women. “When Sanya and I came to Delhi, we had conversations with many women. It was such a cathartic experience. There was one woman who was from an extremely privileged household. She was a housewife, same age as Sanya’s character, going through the same journey. When I heard her story, I got goosebumps. I realized then that this story had to be told with honesty, sincerity, and love, because it is the story of so many women. You can’t be casual about it. Mujhe lagta hai ye bahut important story hai kyunki ye ghar-ghar ki kahani hai. In the entire film, the camera is only in the kitchen and rarely anywhere else.”

The director says that she wanted to make it a very personal story of a girl who has ambitions, which are being crushed. “In the film, she actually makes an effort to impress. She has the excitement of a fresh-faced girl in a new job. Gradually, her morale deflates. My idea was that if a woman is respected for who she is, she will also be a good provider in the house.”

Sanya adds that Arati and she interviewed many women for the film, which is why many find it so relatable. “A friend of mine, who has faced similar challenges, was gracious enough to share her therapy notes with me. Arati and Anu (Anu Singh Choudhary, writer of the film) worked on this script for almost a year, bringing their own personal experiences to it. That’s why the story resonates with so many women. I have heard people say to my mother, ‘Pura din toh ghar pe hi baithe rehti ho. Kya hi hota hai kaam ghar ka?’ I have seen Richa in my mother, my sister, and my married friends. I have not personally experienced her struggles, but of course, when you’re playing such a character, you have to have empathy. I think I have a natural empathy for women going through similar struggles. It breaks my heart, but at the same time, I’m hopeful that a film like this will bring some change. People will become more aware of these everyday struggles that often go unnoticed.”

Sanya says how serving the family is an “everyday reality for so many women – waking up early, cooking for the entire family, going to work, and then coming home to cook again.” “Our mothers have been doing everything selflessly for so long. Now, when I see my mother, she’s tired of stepping into the kitchen. And she feels bad about it because we put our mothers on a pedestal – ‘Maa ke khaane ki toh baat hi kuch aur hoti hai.’ In the film, Richa’s husband tells her mother, ‘Agar aapne nahi sikhaya toh meri maa ise khana banana sikha degi.’ This is such a common thing to hear – not just in the film, I have heard it around me. ‘Ladki ko khana banana nahi aata? Aapne sikhaya nahi?’ Yes, cooking is a life skill – but everyone should know it. Not just women.”

Arati adds, “Even I am guilty of treating my mother like a function. We grew up without understanding this invisible workload our mothers carried day in and day out, quietly, with no day off. It is important that we don’t look at women as a function – doing laundry, keeping the home in order. We see the father as someone bringing value to society and not the mother. But the truth is, women bring immense value – to those fathers, to the families and the society. Women also need to realize that they are individuals who deserve their own passions, hobbies, and dreams – and not just keep serving others. We can’t change everything with one film, but at least we can start a conversation through Mrs.”

“The broken kitchen pipeline in the film is a metaphor for how broken the whole system is. The helper says that ‘puri pipeline badalni padegi, ye leakage local nahi hai.’ It was a metaphor for ye patriarchy puri badalni padegi. It’s not an individual problem where just fixing her husband will solve everything. A much bigger change is needed. You can introduce policy changes, a token Women’s Day celebration, but all of that is superficial. The real change has to be in attitude and mindset. Everyone has to sit together, break the system, and remake it,” says Arati

Arati says that when she was discussing the film with a friend, he spoke about how “marriage is sometimes a series of subtle heartbreaks.”

Arati wanted to map these heartbreaks throughout the story. “I thought, let me start it with chai. On the first day after their wedding, the husband pours half of his tea into another cup and offers it to her. The next day, she takes out a teacup for herself (hoping for the same treatment), but he just leaves with his own cup. We have mapped such small moments across the film – the moments that turn Richa from a young, new bride into a person who has lost her smile.”

“It’s like a horror show in a dollhouse. Everything looks pretty from the outside. People say, ‘Ye toh kitna perfect hai. Kya problem hai meri beti ko?’ Even the mother (in the film) says, ‘Tumhare saath jaake sorry bol dete hain, itna achha ghar hai.’ She also moves from a smaller house to a bigger house, to the man of her dreams. So, what is the problem? The problem is so internal and so psychological that no one can see it, no one can understand it,” says Arati

The film triggered an intense discussion on social media – from some accusing it of damaging ‘family values’ to others praising it for holding up a mirror to the society and the deep conditioning that normalizes inequality in homes

-----------------------------------------------

People associate pride with women doing free labour. They try to give scientific reasons jo humne iss film mein daalne ki koshish ki hai. Silbatte se chutney nahi hai toh enzymes nahi hote, masala ghar mein grind hota hai toh chemical free hai - Arati Kadav

Actor Kanwaljit Singh’s one of the latest projects, Mrs, where he played the patriarchal father-in-law to actor Sanya Malhotra, has become a huge talking point.

Talking about this sudden moment of spotlight, he shares, “Never before have I got so many responses and feedback — both praise and hate. Meri zindagi mein pehli baar hua aisa! There is a string of memes on my character. One Punjabi woman said to me, ‘Usey ‘betaji’ lafz se hi nafrat ho gai hai’. And in fact, ‘betaji’ word was my addition to the script.”

Opening about his character and the role-reversal viral clip, where he can be seen serving dishes instead, the 72-year-old shares, “My character in Mrs is not really a villain and one of those people, we see in our families. But maine bhi meme bana dala role-reversal karke and it went viral with multi-millions (8M) views. Yeh mera prayaschit hai!”

He continues, “Rishika Mishra (the girl in the viral clip) is the granddaughter of [legendary kathak dancer] Sitara Devi. Since she is a kathak artiste, she has no stage fear. So, she agreed to do the role. It came out so well ki viral ho gaya...”

But the actor’s prayaschit doesn’t just end here. He also recalls saying sorry to Sanya herself: “After the film was over, I went to Sanya and said, ‘Sorry, for being so cruel to you’. Mujhe bura laga ki women ko humare samaj mein yeh jhelna padta hai.”

He adds, “However, I come from a very liberal family and mere father meri mummy ko roz do (two) cup chai bana kar dete the, and Saturday ko motorcycle pe Saharanpur mein cinema bhi dikhate the.”

Filmmaker Arati Kadav feels “extremely grateful and happily surprised by the response” her film Mrs. has been receiving. However, the film’s success hasn’t been without controversy.

Recently, the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), a men’s rights organisation, accused the film of spreading “toxic feminist propaganda.”

Responding to the same, Arati clarifies: “I don’t believe this is toxic feminism. We didn’t depict men as evil. We [only] showed how men are often blind to women’s struggles, unaware of their humanity. Even my own mum faced this,” adding, “We’ve become so accustomed to treating women as ‘functions’ rather than full, independent humans.”

When informed about SIFF’s post on X, comparing men who work gruelling hours at “construction sites” with “happy young women” who cook at home, Arati responds: “The difference is that they (men in these jobs) are paid for their labour. If men feel exploited in those jobs, that’s certainly not right, but it doesn’t diminish the issues women face. It’s similar to saying ‘white lives matter’ in response to ‘black lives matter’ — when both are valid. But they shouldn’t be used to dismiss each other.”

“When I read the script of Mrs, I could see myself in it,” said actor Sanya Malhotra, during a recent edition of HT City’s Stars In The City.

As she gears up for the upcoming release of Mrs on Zee5, the actor opened up about what drew her to the films and its themes of gender equality and patriarchy. In a candid conversation with Sonal Kalra, Chief Managing Editor, Entertainment and Lifestyle, Hindustan Times, Sanya explained, “I haven’t faced the same challenges as my character Richa, but I have seen her in my mother, my sister, and in women around me. I’m hoping after watching it, people will realise that some things need to change.”

Would the film’s message then be unfair to men who are supportive of the women in their lives? Sanya asserted, “People keep forgetting that feminism includes both men and women. Patriarchy also puts a lot of pressure on men. When we were prepping for Mrs, my co-actor Nishant Dahiya was empathizing with his character Diwakar (Richa’s husband in the film) — that irritated me. But I realized we are all products of our conditioning and patriarchy. I could understand aadmiyon pe kitna pressure hota hai; uss chakkar mein apne emotions bhi baahar nahin la sakte.”

On a lighter note, how could we not ask the actor about her recent song Aankh with singer Sunidhi Chauhan?

As the audience cheered at the mention of the viral track, Sanya replied, “I am very keen on pursuing this glamorous side along with acting. As an actor, I like doing character-driven movies like Mrs, Pagglait (2021) and Kathal (2023). But bachpan se toh maine yahi dekha hai, actors ko dance karte huye, woh bhi bada pasand hai.”

The actor, who is a trained dancer, added, “For this song, I practised a lot for two weeks. I have never looked like this on screen, so it was a big step for me. The song was incredible, and the choreography was insane!”

Taking the energy up a notch, Sanya also shook a leg with fans and participated in a hook step challenge, busting out some flawless moves as she danced to chartbusters such as Chikni Chameli (Agneepath, 2011) and What is Mobile Number (Haseena Maan Jayegi, 1999).

As the actor talked about drawing inspiration for her character from women around her, we asked, what about becoming a ‘Mrs’ in real life? However, Sanya, who has been rumoured to be dating sitarist Rishabh Sharma, played it coy: “Nahin, I don’t have the time. Yahaan chhutti lene ka time nahin hai!”

On the work front, some of Sanya’s films, Ludo (2020), Love Hostel (2022) and now Mrs, have headed straight to OTT. She shared: “My films have done really well on OTT, so there is no concern whatsoever.”

When she watched The Great Indian Kitchen (2021), Sanya Malhotra could see Jeo Baby’s film doing what good cinema does—asking questions that haven’t been raised before. So, when the actor was offered its Hindi adaptation, Mrs, she took no time to say yes to it.

“My yes to the film was both as an actor and a woman,” she tells us, at the movie’s Asia première at the ongoing International Film Festival of India (IFFI).

Nimisha Sajayan was widely praised for her performance in the Malayalam original, which told the story of a young dancer whose life becomes restricted to the kitchen after marriage. Did Malhotra feel the pressure of stepping into her shoes?

“I never compare myself with anyone. If I put myself in this mindset, I will be leading with fear, which I don’t want to do,” she explains, adding that director Arati Kadav and writer Anu Singh Choudhary made Mrs personal and novel.

“We have made this personal and palatable to the north Indian audience. Arati and Anu have brought their own lived-in experiences to the script. All I thought about was I have to do it in a way that it travels far and wide, and people take away something from it.”

If the acclaim and love from various festivals is any indication, Malhotra’s efforts have already paid off. As she awaits the film’s release in January, she says Mrs has already brought a change in her. “The process of interviewing women for the character opened up a lot of things in me, and I’m constantly questioning and correcting myself,” she says, sharing a personal anecdote about how her view on gender roles has changed.

“Whenever I used to go back home, my mother felt pressured to cook for me. Having worked in the kitchen all these years, she has an aversion to it now. [At the same time] she’d be apologetic about it, saying, ‘I didn’t cook anything good for you.’ To date, I tell her that cooking is not a way of proving her love to me. Everyone around us says maa ke haath ka khana is ultimate love. That’s there. But no one should feel pressured to do it.”

It’s time for Sanya Malhotra’s Mrs to come home. After doing the rounds of international film festivals, including Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival and Palm Springs International Film Festival, director Arati Kadav’s feminist drama is said to be gearing up for a January 2025 release in India.

A source says, “Baweja Studios and Jio Studios have locked January for the release. The idea was always to establish a global buzz before bringing the film home. Though rooted in a traditional Indian setting, Mrs questions the universal theme of patriarchy, and that is one of the reasons it resonated with audiences the world over. Arati and Sanya are excited to finally bring the important story to the screen for the Indian audience.”

An official adaptation of the acclaimed Malayalam movie, The Great Indian Kitchen (2021), Mrs tells the story of a classical dancer, whose life gets confined to the kitchen after marriage. Sources tell us that Mrs, also starring Kanwaljit Singh and Nishant Dahiya, was initially planned as a direct-to-digital offering. However, the plans underwent a change for a couple of reasons.

Another insider explains, “The OTT giant was keen that the film have a theatrical release before it streams online. This also worked in the makers’ favour as Mrs had garnered acclaim at multiple film galas. Plus, the success of small, high-concept movies like Laapataa Ladies and Munjya this year gave them confidence about Mrs’ box-office prospects.”

As a Delhi girl in Mumbai, actor Sanya Malhotra’s style has been influenced by the two cities. “[In Delhi], I like to dress up, do my makeup and be proper, even if I am stepping out for five minutes. In Mumbai, my style is more relaxed,” she tells us, adding that her Delhi friends “get a huge shock” upon seeing her Mumbai outfits: “They’d say, ‘You look very simple’... I committed the biggest sin when I wore chappals to Khan Market in Delhi! (laughs)”

Noting that fashion lets her express herself “in a different way,” she shares, “Now, I know what I like to wear, but I am still trying to find my personal style.”

Does this reflect on her on-screen personas as well? “I used to take my own clothes on set for Badhaai Ho (2018) and I [still] do it whenever I want to add a personal touch to my characters’ [looks],” the 32-year-old reveals, adding, “At the start of my career, I didn’t have money to afford a stylist. I wore something out of my closet for an event once and got good reviews. I look the best when I style myself.”

Much has changed since Malhotra’s Bollywood debut in 2016. Ask about her journey and she replies, “I always wanted to be an actor, but my intention was never to be a star.” But it was the chance to lead films such as Pagglait (2021) and Kathal (2023) that gave her confidence.

“I didn’t believe in myself when I signed Pagglait... But with the kind of confidence Guneet (Monga, producer) and Umesh sir (Bisht, director) had in me, I decided to give it a try. That success gave me the confidence to pick films like Kathal and [the upcoming] Mrs,” she ends.

Over the past nine months, it has been one film festival after another for Sanya Malhotra’s Mrs. Last November, Arati Kadav’s directorial venture premièred at the Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival, followed by screenings at the Palm Springs International Film Festival and the New York Indian Film Festival.

Now, the Indian Film Festival of Melbourne 2024 (IFFM) has chosen it as one of its centre-piece movies. The drama will be screened on August 23, with both the leading lady and director Kadav in attendance.

An adaptation of the Malayalam film, The Great Indian Kitchen (2021), Mrs delves into the life of Richa, a dance teacher whose life is suddenly confined to the kitchen when she marries into a conservative family.

Malhotra, who has earned the Best Actress nomination at IFFM 2024 for the film, says, “Mrs is special to me as it explores the complex journey of a woman trying to find her own voice amid society’s expectations. Working with Arati Kadav and the entire team has been a profound experience. The IFFM has always celebrated diverse narratives, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it.”

While the Jio Studios offering—also starring Kanwaljit Singh and Nishant Dahiya— delves into the emotional intricacies of a woman’s life, Kadav credits her leading lady for enriching the material further. She says, “Sanya’s performance brings depth to the character, making it a powerful narrative.”

Sanya Malhotra’s Mrs appears to be something of a festival favourite. Last year, Arati Kadav’s directorial venture had its world première at the Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival, after which it was screened at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. Now, the drama—an adaptation of the acclaimed Malayalam movie, The Great Indian Kitchen (2021)—has been chosen as the closing film of the New York Indian Film Festival (NYIFF) 2024 that kicks off tomorrow.

Kadav says that the cinephile in her would always catch up on screenings at the NYIFF. Having her movie screened at the same festival on June 2 then is a surreal moment. “I look forward to the films screened at the NYIFF every year. So, I feel privileged that we’ve been chosen as the closing film. With this film, our aim is to connect with Indian audiences living not just in India, but also abroad, and this platform helps us reach the diaspora,” she says.

Mrs tells the story of Richa, a dancer whose life is suddenly confined to the kitchen after she marries into a conservative family. To Malhotra, the Jio Studios drama—also starring Nishant Dahiya and Kanwaljit Singh—stands for a woman’s strength and resilience, while questioning patriarchy.

The actor shares, “Playing Richa, a character grappling with the delicate balance between tradition and ambition, was an immense responsibility, given that it embodies the struggles of so many Indian women.”

For Sanya Malhotra, 2023 was all about taking a much-needed break from work. Now, the actor is in the swing of things as this year began on a high with her film Mrs. premiering at the Palm Springs International Film Festival in California (USA). She says, “The film has turned out well. I am proud of myself and I don’t say that easily about my performance. For the first time, in seven years, I’m proud of what I have done.”

As she starts a new year, the 31-year-old declares that she “never makes” any resolution as “I am quite disciplined”. “I want to enjoy more and not worry about things. I’m always on the run. Maybe this year I can learn to take time off,” she says.

However, the Sam Bahadur (2023) actor does have one item she wants to tick off her list of things to do — work in a film in the South. Malhotra was seen in Jawan (2023), a pan-India film that was dubbed and released in different languages. She has also played a Tamil-speaking character in Meenakshi Sundareshwar (2021). Now the actor is ready to take the plunge: “Maybe this year, I will work in the South. I have had a connection with Jawan and Meenakshi…. and I would love to do films in the South. I am waiting for the right opportunity.”

Before it hits theatres in India, Mrs is doing the rounds of international film festivals. The Sanya Malhotra-starrer, which had its world première at the Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival, is set to be screened at the Palm Springs International Film Festival 2024 in California on January 10. Mrs might be rooted in a traditional Indian setting as it tells the story of Richa, a dancer whose life is suddenly confined to the kitchen after she is married into a conservative family. But through the movie, director Arati Kadav challenges a universal issue—patriarchy.

Malhotra is confident that women the world over will identify with her character. “Mrs is a relatable film at its core. It showcases the reality of many women, which I hope will resonate across the globe. This film will inspire, move and spark conversations about the challenges faced by women,” says the actor, who is joined by Nishant Dahiya and Kanwaljit Singh in the movie.

For producer and co-writer Harman Baweja, it’s a matter of pride that the Jio Studios movie—an adaptation of the acclaimed Malayalam film, The Great Indian Kitchen (2021)—will be screened at the film festival.

He says, “The minute you add the tag Mrs, a lot changes for the woman; she goes from leading a carefree life to someone who has a plethora of expectations and responsibilities on her. Often, these expectations come at the cost of her own desires. Finding the right balance is the key to her happiness. This film [shows] how a woman has to fight to acquire that balance. I feel every father, brother, son needs to watch this film to understand how the pressure of Mrs works in the real world.”

Traditional gender roles have always bothered Arati Kadav. So, when she got the chance to shatter them through the film, Mrs, the director jumped at the opportunity. Now, the Sanya Malhotra-starrer is set to have its world première at the Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival on November 17. The drama has also secured a spot in the Critics’ Picks category at the ongoing festival.

To the director, this honour reaffirms her faith in the powerful story that was brought forth by The Great Indian Kitchen (2021). With their adaptation of the Malayalam film, Malhotra and Kadav hope to take the theme of challenging patriarchy to a wider audience, as they tell the story of Richa, an aspiring dancer who finds her life confined to the kitchen after she marries into a conservative family.

“Since a young age, when I looked around, I realized that every woman felt that it is her duty to cook and feed her family. Even working women had internalized this double shift as a sense of duty,” laments the director.

In her protagonist Richa, Kadav found the everywoman, complete with her struggles and strength. “When I started researching and hearing personal stories of young homemakers, I realised that through one story, we were representing the lived experience of so many of them. I have always believed cinema is a medium that can spark conversations and [bring] change. I have made Mrs, hoping that it does that in some way. Sanya brought a beating heart and soul to the character.” The Jio Studios offering  also stars Nishant Dahiya and Kanwaljit Singh.

The role is a fitting addition to Malhotra’s filmography. In her seven-year career so far, the actor has embodied spirited women—from the determined wrestler in Dangal (2016) to the young widow who discovers herself in Pagglait (2021). Overjoyed that Mrs is selected for the renowned festival, she says, 

“This film is close to my heart, as it is a reminder that women have the strength to shatter patriarchal norms. My character’s determination as an aspiring dancer in the face of patriarchal expectations reflects women’s resilience. I hope this film sparks important conversations as we present it on such a prestigious platform.”