Coming to Kolkata is always special for actress and filmmaker Konkona Sen Sharma, who was recently in the city for a panel discussion on gender roles when it comes to household responsibilities. Hosted by Nimyle at the ITC Sonar, Kolkata, the discussion focused on shaping future values, emphasizing the importance of educating the younger generation about equality in cleaning and household chores. CT took this opportunity for a quick chat with the Killer Soup actress on the crucial role of parenting in breaking gender stereotypes, how she instilled these values in her son and more. Excerpts.

Konkona credits her unconventional upbringing, by her mother, Aparna Sen, for showing her that gender doesn’t define one’s abilities. “We mostly saw eye to eye, though I didn’t always grasp her wisdom as a child. Motherhood changed that,” she reflects.

Fondly recalling childhood, she adds, “Mom gave me Rs. 10 or 20 for chores—it taught me responsibility.”

Konkona believes the most important lessons children learn come from observation, not instruction. “What you watch and see growing up is more important than what your parents instruct,” she said. She saw her mom balance work and home life, while her father taught her responsibility. “He’d ask me, 'Why aren’t you taking your plate to the kitchen?'”

This lesson became crucial in teaching her son, Haroon, the value of self-sufficiency and respect. “Cleaning your own mess and putting your plate back in the kitchen was one of the most important things to learn. It isn’t respectful to expect others to do it for you,” she emphasised at the Clean Equal Mission panel discussion.

“Fathers are always praised for cooking a meal and looking after their children, but no one claps for mothers who do it every single day,” said the actress. She believes the key to breaking this stereotype is acknowledging the history of patriarchy and how it shapes expectations across generations, and societal inequalities. Highlighting the role of films in questioning gender norms, she referred to The Great Indian Kitchen and its Hindi remake Mrs, and pointed out how they expose the invisible labour of women and challenges deep-rooted traditions.

It is important to acknowledge the history of patriarchy and how it has shaped societal inequalities. 

Films like Mrs bring forth the invisible labour of women and challenge deep-rooted traditions

As a boy mom, it is important for me to teach my son Haroon gender equality and responsibility

I’ve grown up seeing my mom do all kinds of work, but at the same time, give equal priority to the chores at home