Irrfan's upcoming film Qarib Qarib Singlle lets you in on his romantic side. In keeping with the theme of the film, BT gave a diehard Irrfan fan - 21-year-old Sheena Oberoi - a golden opportunity to go on a coffee date with her favourite actor. Instead of us doing the Q & A, we handed over the reins to the fan to pose the questions. Irrfan charmed the youngster with his repartee and honest confessions, including his dislike for being gifted flowers and meeting people who aren't true to themselves. The talented actor also got candid about love and modern-day relationships in his conversation with Sheena, who was impressed by her dashing 'date'. Excerpts...

Sheena: This is the third date of my life and I cannot believe that it's with you. My sister often tells me that I talk a lot on dates and tend to get nervous. Does it happen to you, too?
Irrfan: Does your sister accompany you on dates? How does she know that you talk a lot? Does she stalk your dates also? (laughs) Well, as far as I am concerned, I feel great to be with someone who talks a lot because I don't. I can listen to someone, who is willing to take charge of the conversation. Personally, I feel that words are not always necessary.

Sheena: What is the first thing you notice about a girl when you are on a date?
Irrfan: A unique, attractive face and a warm and soothing smile. That's what I noticed about you, Sheena. I was about to compliment you and I didn't know that you were my date! (smiles)

Sheena: This is the age of equality. So, when you go out with a woman, do you offer to pay the bill or do you prefer splitting it?
Irrfan: I would definitely like to pay. Of course, unless the woman gets offended and insists on paying. If I can afford it, what's the harm in treating the people I like?

Sheena: What attracts you to a woman and what puts you off?
Irrfan: I like a good sense of humour and honesty. What I don't like is someone unnecessarily intellectualizing things. I also don't like people who put on a mask and pretend to be someone they are not. I remember checking out a dating app when I was abroad. I soon figured that most of the girls follow certain guidelines. The way they pose for pictures (the typical pout and smile), what kind of picture needs to be uploaded and things like that...I noticed that 90% of women followed this pattern, and that's not natural. Falseness puts me off. Be yourself. Also, sometimes they are judgemental and they want to know what lies ahead before getting into something. It's like wanting to find their destination before they could start their journey. Why plan so much? I love people who are comfortable with uncertainties.

Sheena: What's your take on strong, opinionated women?
Irrfan: Opinionated makes me a bit uncomfortable, but strong women, I appreciate. When you start pitting one gender against the other, that's the basis of a conflict. Every gender has its uniqueness and that cannot be replaced. One has to under stand that. Men and women make a complete picture and things will be harmonious when they co-exist, without debating about who is stronger than the other.

Sheena: How do you deal with your exes?
Irrfan: In any intense relationship, when your expectations are not fulfilled, you start blaming each other and things get ugly. You can no longer evolve together as you keep pulling each other down. That's when you part ways and you must do it brutally, as there is no point stretching what's already broken. But all the good things that the person has taught you or shared with you can never be forgotten. It changes your life. I have learnt a lot from different relationships. I don't hold grudges and blame others.

Sheena: What's your take on modern-day relationships, often replete with online dating apps and casual flings?
Irrfan: When you look at sex as a commodity, it loses the potential of being something more than just that. Having said that, if a casual relationship has mutual consent, why should one look down upon it? I have a problem when people put up a facade of being in a serious relationship. When it comes to love, my views used to be old-school. I am still trying to understand what it means.