Sometimes, you pray for something and it doesn't work. But your hope in God doesn't die, explains Ranbir Kapoor
Jitesh Pillai (TIMES LIFE; November 13, 2016)

Does it help or hamper you as an actor when you are going through an emotional crisis at work?
I've never carried my personal life to work. Like in my grandfather's (Raj Kapoor) Mera Naam Joker, the joker's mother dies but he performs and makes people laugh. A joker, to me, signifies an actor and an actor signifies a joker. He needs to hide behind the make-up and entertain people. That's his job. Yes, you have emotional memories, which you can use for certain scenes. But an actor doesn't have that luxury to give into his moods.

What's your take on love given the fact that so many relationships have broken around you, including your own?
Love is a bit like God. Sometimes you pray for something and it doesn't work. But your hope in God doesn't die. Love's like that too. If relationships break down, you cannot turn bitter about love. A person can fall in love umpteen times. Even if it doesn't work it's instrumental in your growth as a person, it enriches you. Love keeps you alive. Happiness is real only when it's shared. No matter how much success you've achieved, how much luxury you enjoy, how much fame you gather, it won't matter if you don't have a person to share it with.

And marriage?
Yes, marriage is a question today. Young people question its worth. But I believe in the sanctity of marriage. Making a life around marriage and children is healthy. Otherwise we'd be like animals. It will become too wild. A certain boundary is healthy. Marriage provides that.

Would it be easier for an actor to date someone outside the industry?
It's a double-edge sword. If you date someone outside the industry, it's unfair to the person. The person is shocked with the gossip, seeing his her partner romancing others. Whereas if you're with an actor, then there's insecurity, your own rise and fall, the other person's success and failure to deal with. It's not the other person's fault if the relationship doesn't work. It's your fault. So, whether the partner is from the industry or outside it, you have to sort out yourself first.

You portray heartbreak well...
I guess, I've lot of pent-up emotions inside, which I can't express. I channelise those better through my characters. For me, to channelise pain, tears or heartbreak, is easier than playing fun characters. I found it harder to play characters in Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani and Besharam. Pain comes naturally to me.

Did you always find it hard to express?
Always. It's a childhood thing. Manufacturing defect hai! My mother (Neetu Kapoor) says that once when I was four I saw a snake. I didn't cry or scream. I just put my hand on my heart and felt my heartbeats racing. That was how my body expressed. Whoever is with me, whether it's my partner, my friend or my parents, I give them credit for jhelloing (enduring) me. It's hard to understand me.

So you're emotionally unavailable...
I'm emotionally closed, not unavailable. I'm emotional but I find it hard to express myself whether it's happiness, sadness or anxiety. It would be a big waste of money putting me with a shrink. (Laughs)

Is it too late to correct it now?
Yes. In my relationship with my parents, with Ayan (Mukerji), with my directors, with Imtiaz (Ali), there are set parameters. They work around my flaws. As a son, as a friend, as a partner, I do have to better myself. Also, I'm not stubborn. I like to be the first person to say sorry as well. I get shaken up with conflict. If I know my mother or friend is upset I get anxious. I don't know how to deal with it. Even if a director says something, I'm sensitive towards it. I guess, they don't know that they don't have to keep me happy but at peace. I don't thrive on conflict.

So peace is what makes you happy?
I'm looking for peace now. Maybe, I've grown older. When you're younger you have the energy to deal with it. I find peace sitting in my grandmother's (Krishna Kapoor) place, sitting on the swing, looking at nature, playing with my dogs or just being alone. I'm not uncomfortable with loneliness. I'm happy taking a holiday by myself. I'm happy going to a restaurant alone, eating alone, visiting a theatre alone.

Does your grandmother share memories of Raj Kapoor?
All the time. She's an untapped gem, by far the most hilarious person I've met. She narrates things with so much humour and grace that you don't feel awkward laughing at it. She sacrificed a lot, her ego, her feelings of jealousy. She went through a lot of pain and made peace with it. She supported my grandfather and he realised that. That's the next step of love. When a man makes a mistake and still finds that person standing by him, he starts appreciating her. Love goes beyond passion or lust. It becomes a bit godly. In the latter part of their lives, Raj Kapoor was more in love with Krishnaji than she was with him.

Do you see the same thing with your mother in relation to your dad?
Yes. But but with my parents it's very real, which is also beautiful. But real is not as beautiful as the legend. You fantasise a legend; you add your own background score to it.