Both have their own challenges. But motherhood is definitely tougher. It is such a huge responsibility to care for a little life that is so dependent upon you. And, you have to set an example for your kids to follow. Children learn from your actions, not words. You are constantly wondering: Did I do the right thing? Am I doing enough?

I haven’t faced any major issues so far, and I hope it continues like this. Indira isn’t perfect; none of us are. She is doing well in school and is pursuing artistic gymnastics. She isn’t the kind of girl who throws tantrums. Of course, there might be some behaviour that I need to correct. So, sometimes I scold her; sometimes I gently explain to her with patience. Then, in some not-so-serious issues, if she is really adamant, I tell her about the repercussions and let it go. She needs to learn from her own mistakes. I have told her: now is the time to make mistakes and learn from them rather than later in life.

Each year, as she grows, I have given her a little more space, a little more independence, and some decision-making to do. Kids are ours till they are 10. Their identity is mixed up with their mother’s. After that, you need to let go slowly. I want her to grow up to be an independent, responsible woman. Sometimes, she can be untidy or reluctant to help with housework. But then I think of her overall behaviour. She is a good kid, quite mature for her age, grounded and affectionate. She is also very strong-minded. She knows what she wants, and I respect that to a great extent. At times, she can be stubborn, short-tempered, and reluctant to share what’s on her mind. But each of us has our own personality.

We need to understand and accept that and work with it. We do argue sometimes and make up quickly, too. I apologize if I am wrong.

Actually, my life became even faster-paced after I moved. We stayed in Budapest for the first five years as my ex-husband (Gian Maria Emendatori) was setting up his family business there. His family home was in Italy, so we would keep going back and forth. I was still modelling and shooting for the film ‘Boom’ then, so I would travel a lot. He, too, had to travel a lot for work. Plus, we would go to exotic locations for holidays. Basically, we were living out of a suitcase. We didn’t have time to breathe. I worked till 2010, when I did one of my last shows with Naomi Campbell and others in Mumbai. Then I took a break because I wanted to get pregnant. We had been trying for years but had not been successful. Perhaps our life was too hectic, and my body needed rest. Fortunately, I conceived soon after, and Indira was born in May 2012.

Not really. I thought I would get back to work soon after her birth, but life had other plans. My father passed away before Indira’s first birthday. That was a huge setback for me. I had also put on a lot of weight. I was getting offers, but I did not take up anything as I did not feel good, physically and emotionally. Some years went by, and Gian Maria and I also started facing issues in our marriage, which led to a divorce. Even as I was coming to terms with my new living situation, my brother passed away… around five years ago. This was a very painful period in my life. Life kept throwing me on the floor, and I kept getting up on my own, without support. Despite all the chaos, I tried to give a stable home to Indira. I got work offers, but I could not take them up as it wasn’t always possible to fly to India. I only did a shoot for Vogue and an ad campaign for Masaba Gupta two years ago, as the timing worked. I could leave Indira with her dad at that time. I did sacrifice many opportunities, but I have no regrets. When we bring a child into this world, it is our duty not to neglect her.

I am a hands-on mom. I had a nanny to help out till she was six, but I have raised her myself. I cook all of Indira’s meals. And, I accompany her to classes and tournaments, just like my daddy did for me. Parenting is a big responsibility. You are constantly on your toes.

Life changes, and our bodies change as we move from our 20s to 30s and 40s. I have gone with the flow. I have tried not to get affected by the pressure and judgment. I remember in the final stages of my pregnancy, I was in Mumbai and had stepped out for a movie premiere with friends. The paps took a picture from the worst possible angle. I looked like a whale. A newspaper published it alongside my old picture. I just wanted to drown when I saw it, but I pulled myself together. I didn’t let it overwhelm me. I accepted myself and the changes in my body. My health had also suffered because of the hardships I faced. But when I felt better, I started looking after myself (I have not had any cosmetic surgery) for the sake of my health and also so that I could continue to look after my child as she grows. I lost weight and started looking like Madhu Sapre again — not the old Madhu, but a new Madhu, older and wiser.

I am happy with the way I am now. But sometimes people who meet me say, “Oh, we remember how you were”. They add, “You are still beautiful.” I laugh it off. What can one say to such comments? How can you expect me to look like I did 25 years ago? We are humans; we are like perishable goods. Of course, if you are in the fashion business, it is your responsibility to be in shape. But how long you take to deal with pregnancy weight depends on you.

Yes, I have instilled in her the importance of physical activity from the time she was little, just like my dad did for me. I used to make her run in parks. I taught her to swim, cycle, and do cartwheels. I emphasize on the importance of healthy competition. When she is preparing for gymnastics competitions, I don’t put any pressure on her. I don’t tell her to aim to win or be number one. I just tell her to give her best.

Both are equally important. After the divorce, it’s only me, her, and our pets in the house. She is my priority. I have built our life around her necessities. I have always followed a strict daily routine where studying, sports, and leisure have their own importance, place, and order. One does not overshadow the other. We prepare her bag and clothes the night before school. She studies hard and does well at school, but if she didn’t, I would have had to accept that and see where else she had potential. I am not a nagging mom.

She knows a bit, but I haven’t spoken much about my modelling career or the success I saw. We haven’t yet spoken about whether she would like to be a model or an actress. We will see. I am bringing her up with a lot of simplicity. I don’t want her to ever feel she is not good enough if she isn’t number one or a celebrity. I also believe in destiny.

After our divorce, Indira has been living with me and her dad has visiting rights. He travels a lot, but he does help me out when he is in town. It has not been easy after the split, but my ex and I have worked on our relationship to make it cordial for Indira’s sake, as she is our priority. I wanted her to be loved by both of us and did not want her to have to choose one parent. It took time, but we are in a good space now. He has remarried, and Indira has three other younger half-siblings. She adores his new wife and the kids, and they love her too. They live very close to us. So, we are a big extended family and meet occasionally. It is not easy for any child to live in two homes. But I have never let Indira feel torn between them. She was and is always free to be with her dad and his new family as and when she wants or if her daddy wants to see her.

My ex and I are opposites. We do not agree on many things, but he listens to me when it comes to parenting matters. Sometimes, I let him decide certain things for her, even though I disagree. Or we discuss the issues we don’t agree on and reach an understanding to make the final decision. It is not easy, but with effort, we have been managing so far.

Indira was born in Mumbai, and she does feel very connected to India. I wanted to teach her Marathi when she was little, just like I taught her English. But she refused to learn it, so I let it be. Now she asks me if I will teach her Marathi.

Simplicity, honesty, kindness, respect for others, and humility.

I try not to get caught up in any definitions or trends on how to bring up kids, as every kid is different. I am a strict mom, but at the same time not a dictator. I am soft when required. I prefer to gently guide rather than instruct. Indira knows she cannot disrespect me, and the same goes for me. Like a plant needs good soil, sunlight, and water to grow, we need to give our kids a nurturing, protective environment to thrive and a lot of personal attention, time, and care. I have given her this and will continue to do so. Kids need clarity, not confusion, and unconditional love too.

I am so grateful for everything. Winning pageants, being a model, and seeing success were great, but I personally felt more complete after I became a mom. It was a dream come true.