“Ek kahani batati hoon papa ki,” Guneet Monga Kapoor says, and one memory quickly blends into many: A gold kada sold to send her to America, a Maths teacher reprimanded, a crashed car replaced with a shrug. All adding up to a sequence of memories that left her with a simple, unwavering conviction: That she was gifted, special, and capable of anything.

“Tum kuch bhi kar sakte ho”, he told her. She not just believes it, she lives it. He may not be there anymore, and yet she says she feels his presence, the presence of both parents she lost in her twenties, even more intensely, more closely, now. The pampered daughter who was so pampered that she just does not understand a scarcity mindset - “Nahi hain paise? Aa jayenge!” – tells us how papa shaped her heart, her mind, her self-belief, and her professional success.

Aisi-aisi cheezein sikhayi hain unhone mujhe... Ki kabhi agar paise khatm ho rahe ho na life mein, toh saare kharch dena, bachana mat! Mann nahi maarna. He actually sat me down and told me, ‘Tumhare paas itni education hai, tum kuch bhi kar sakte ho. You’re very empowered. Tum kabhi bhi sadak par nahi soge. Tumhare sar pe hamesha chhat hogi. You will be able to fend for yourself. You will be able to do that much. Toh tum mann mat maarna kabhi.’

That stayed with me. That taught me abundance. My relationship with money was never of scarcity. And that is why I could do whatever I did. My mindset is very different. Main bachane mein believe hi nahi karti hoon. (I spend) every penny on the screen. Producer ka ek mindset hai ki cash de rahe hain toh thoda kam de dete hain — woh hai hi nahi (mera). That mindset took us forward. Kahin na kahin woh bachpan se ek alag mahaul hai mera, which was my dad’s mindset.

Unko second-hand gaadiyon ka bahut shauq tha. Dire needs hain yahan par life mein, par show-off khatm nahi hona chahiye hum sardaron ka. Abundance mindset wahin se aaya hai.

Main jab 18 ki hui toh mujhe aise slow-motion mein aake chaabi laake di, aur bole, ‘Ye teri gaadi hai ab se’.

Suraj Kund mein khaali maidaan tha wahan main gaadi chalati thi. Unka sapna tha ki main Himalayan rally mein jaoon. Toh mujhe bachpan se bahut achhi gaadi chalani aati hai.

When he was teaching me to drive, I asked to learn how to reverse. He said, ‘Kyun? Zaroorat hi nahi nahi hai. Life mein peechhe jana hi nahi hai. Tere ko reverse karne ki zaroorat nahi hai’. He would say, ‘Bahar nikal (from the car), log khade ho jayenge tere liye karne ke liye. Hamesha kisi se karwa liyo. Seekhne ki zaroorat nahi hai.’

Main abhi bhi reverse se pareshan hoon. Thoda bahut aata hai. Abhi bhi jitni confident main gaadi chalane mein hoon utni confident main reverse mein nahi hoon.

I was a prefect in school, so I used to do a lot of extra co-curricular activities. And I had Commerce with Maths, since my parents thought ki Maths nahi loge toh naukri nahi lagegi. I used to do a lot of cool things in school, but I started failing in Maths in 11-12th. The Maths teacher came to the class and said, ‘Hum aapko Board mein baithne nahi de sakte. You’ll fail in Maths and school ka naam kharab kar doge. Tumhara dhyaan bas ye environmental mein hai’... Main roz Sheila Dikshit ke paas chali jaati thi school uniform mein ki land chahiye, paudhe chahiye – aise kuch-kuch maangti rehti thi. Bahut dabang life jeeyi hai maine apne school mein. I did one project in school that won the first prize in a competition in Hawaii. Woh mera pehla business plan tha.

Anyway, so the teacher told me – ‘Call your father!’ Jaise hi bola father, maine kaha done! Mother mat bolna bas! Papa ko toh main set kar lungi. Hamari chalti rehti thi. Hamara bahut beautiful ek relation tha.

He met my father the next day. When he came to class after that, he said, ‘Guneet Monga, stand up. I like your father!” I wondered ki aisa kya bol diya unhone?

Ghar jaake, I asked my father. Unhone kaha, ‘Woh laga hua tha ki aapki beti ki toh back aa jayegi, isko nahi baithne de sakte. Usko samajh nahi aa raha, woh bahut hi weak hai. Toh maine keh diya – ‘My daughter is very intelligent. You don’t know how to teach. You’re teaching 60 kids, you are not giving her attention. She is very intelligent! You tell me what you need, usko kaun si tution chahiye? You spend extra hours with her.’

Ohohoho! I scored a 70 in that exam!!

Toh ye jo faith se main jeeyi hoon na...

In one parents-teachers meeting at my school, it was announced that they are planning a trip to America, and will take six students.

Ab unko (father) akad - meri beti jayegi America. I was 12-13. Paise nahi hai hamare paas bilkul bhi. Lekin school mein bol aaye meri beti jayegi America!

Phir teachers meri jaan khane lag gaye - paise do. Uss time one lakh dena tha. Paise hai nahi, classic overcommitment! Ab nahi hai paise toh kya karein!

So he sold his sone ka kada, which I did not know at the time. Unhone apna kada becha jo unko shaadi mein mila tha mummy se, aur mujhe America bhej diya. Ek mahina extra ruki with extended family, akele wapis aayi. That gave me independence.

Jab college mein gayi aur jab papa ka kaam chalne lag gaya aur unki kuch deals hone lag gayi property mein, he made sone ka kada - one for him and one for me. Tab se pehna hua hai maine.

Once in college, when it was raining, my car got stuck. Main race (accelerator) di ja rahi hoon, mujhe pata hi nahi tha reverse karna hota hai aisi situation mein – kyunki he never taught me to reverse. Fir gaadi jump maar ke seedha ped mein. Esteem ban gayi 800.

Toh papa ko phone kiya aur kaha college aa jao, wahan kaand ho gaya bada wala. Pin-drop silence. Aise 50 bachche side pe khade hain ki daant padegi! Sab ka dil baitha hua hai, aur humein laga gaadi phat jayegi. Papa ne mujhe CNG waali gaadi di hui thi.

Papa aaye, ek chakkar lagaya gaadi ka. Mere haath-paon phool rahe thay from shock of the accident. Meri taraf dekha aur kaha, ‘Ye wala ped kyun choose kiya?’

Maine bola, mujhe abhi comedy nahi karni! You have to do better parenting. I used to keep telling him that you have to be a better parent. Kehte hain – ‘galti teri nahi hai. Maine tujhe reverse nahi sikhaya’.

Another time, I had an Indica and Noida wala expressway naya-naya khula tha – eight-lane express highway. Usmein main kar rahi thi racing. I was very overconfident when it came to cars, kyunki main bachpan se chala rahi thi. Bahut dabang upbringing ki hai unhone meri.

Hum 6-7 dost bhare hain gaadi mein – ek ke upar ek – aur hum 120-130 speed pe race laga rahe hain. Maine sharp turn le liya, and usmein gaadi skid hui aur bajti hui, scratch hote-hote, tyre phat gaye, out of control chali gayi. And so that car – that new Indica – was destroyed from one side. A new car!

I was shivering. Phir papa ko phone kiya: ‘10 minute mein aa raha hoon’. Main ro rahi thi ki mujhe gaadi nahi chalani. Toh papa ne kaha – ‘Isse yahin chhor, chal nayi gaadi lekar aayenge’. Nayi gaadi nikali hai unhone agle din!

And what was the point of it? Darr nahi baithna chahiye. Darna nahi hai life mein. Aise kahan milte hain log? No schooling, no screaming. That allowed me to hold my own in many rooms. As a very young person also, I have been in rooms (where there were people who were) very rich, very powerful, very wealthy decision-makers and I’ve been able to hold my own because of my dad.

He would say, ‘Tujhe pata hi nahi tu kitni special hai. Tu jiske saath kaam karegi, teri wajah se unki dukaan chalegi. Never think that somebody is doing something for you.’ So, ye unhone meri DNA shape ki hui hai – ki sab achha hai, mere paas bahut paise hain, main bahut abundant hoon.

Where does this come from? Jab kuch bhi nahi tha tab bhi mujhe lagta tha ki main sab kuch kar sakti hoon. Ki of course, mujhe koi mana nahi karega. Mujhe koi mana kar hi nahi sakta! Mera kaam ho jayega – ye bachpan se soch hai meri. Of course, main America jaungi. Of course, main email likhungi aur woh reply karenge. Of course, my film will do better. Abhi aapko samajh nahi aa rahi, duniya ko samajh aayegi. Of course, main paise raise kar lungi.

Toh woh maine kabhi doubt hi nahi kiya. That conviction comes from my dad. He made me feel that I am very special and I am gifted, and I am intelligent and I am bright.

So, that was a big hit when he left. Unhi ko toh dikhana tha sab kuch. Unhi ko badi gaadiyan lekar deni thi. Bada ghar lekar dena tha. Unhi ko toh visibility, validation (deni thi) – ki main Monga sahab ki beti hoon.

I’ve never felt like somebody who used to stay in a Rs. 5,000 rent ka ghar. I have always felt like a queen, as a princess – I have everything. Mujhe kabhi scarcity mehsoos nahi hui.

There’s an Italian film – Life Is Beautiful (1997). It won several Oscars. It is my favourite film in the whole world. The backdrop is World War 2, but it is a father-son story. The father tells the son that it’s a game – the way he explains what’s happening – tank aa raha hai and he has to hide from it. My dad is like that in my life. I just relate to it so much. Ki wahan duniya jal rahi hai, lekin I’m wearing rose-tinted glasses and living life.

The only Indian producer to hold an Oscar has certainly held her own in the biggest rooms. But then, papa had said, right, that darna nahi hai life mein, of course, tera kaam ho jayega?