It’s been some time since Siddhant Chaturvedi won appreciation for his performance until his 2023 film Kho Gaye Hum Kahan (KGHK). After the Gully Boy (2019) fame, the actor saw a bit of a lull in his career. Then, he went MIA for a year with no media interactions and rare public appearances. In a free-wheeling chat over a video call from his holiday, the actor bares his heart, but refrains from sharing one thing — his holiday destination. Excerpts:

It was long due after Gully Boy. I needed some motivation again... it’s been a while since it released, followed by Bunty Aur Babli 2 (2021), Gehraiyaan and Phone Bhoot (both 2022). The pandemic happened, I thought we were kind of losing touch with what was working. I had been working for three-four years, things were not happening. And especially after Gully Boy, everybody had high expectations saying I am the ‘next big thing’... I felt I let people down. I would also not blame my choices. Consumer behaviour changed. Big-scale films became front-runners, no one was ready to invest so much money on a newcomer. What I had shot for was just right before the pandemic, the films released after that. I was disappointed with myself, (and thought) where was it going? I finally needed a push like KGHK.

I thought mere paas kuch hai nahi baat karne ke liye, aur mera kaam bolta hai. Jab kaam nahi bol raha with the audience, who has moved on to some new kind of cinema... and then there are YouTube influencers, creators. As a newcomer, you are put between 360 degrees of entertainment, where you have to compete with so much. I felt that putting stuff out on social media and being spotted is not who I am. I felt I need to work harder to choose the right things.

I feel overwhelmed with the love right now, but if people are scattered away, I am not going to stand and shout ‘I am spotted, I am going to the gym, I bought a new car’ — that’s not the kind of actor I am. There are so many of them already; everybody has a great life on Instagram. If everyone is an influencer, then who is influenced? I understood my vision is to be there on the screen — be it digital or theatrical. Obviously, the dream is to be at the box office, but whatever it is, cinema is my way of communicating with people. What would I have talked about? I can’t put pictures of my vacations or go to award shows who are just giving me one. Initially after Gully Boy, I loved the attention (on social media) as there was chatter, I was excited. Later, I realized I needed something substantial.

I have nothing against people who do that. Out of sight was on purpose. If I was out of mind and then came with an unexpected performance, it would blow your mind. I have faith in myself. I was nowhere before Gully Boy... suddenly people saw me on the map, I wanted that same effect.

I saw them on Reddit. I go and read the gossip and blind articles. It is really disturbing.

Yes. Pehle achha lagta tha padh ke, before I had made it, maza aata tha. Par jab khud ke baare mein hota hai toh aankhein khulti hain. They call me arrogant, cocky, overrated. I was underrated before Gehraiyaan (2022), overrated after it, and then they said ‘he has disappeared, bada aaya tha’. That really hurt. I take it in a good way, but after reading (such comments), I am not able to sleep at night. I sit at the same window where I sat and dreamt, and decide, I will show the world. Earlier, I almost wrote a reply defending myself from fake profiles, but just before sending it, I would be like ‘no yaar, let the perception be, it’s good to break it with work’. I don’t expect people to be soft on me because I have got the hard way in life. It is not easy to make it and even harder to sustain it.