Raveena Tandon with her daughters Pooja, Rasha, Chhaya, her son-inlaw, grandsons Rudra and Jaydon and son Ranbirvardhan (clockwise from left)

Raveena Tandon is known for her effortless acting, comic timing and sizzling moves in songs like ‘Tip tip barsa paani’ and ‘Tu cheez badi...’ But few know this ’90s star was just 21 when she adopted two adolescent girls to give them a better life even though many warned her that no man would want to marry a woman with this ‘baggage’. The 48-year-old National award winner spoke to Neha Bhayana about her ‘brats’, becoming a grandma and much more
Neha Bhayana (THE TIMES OF INDIA; October 22, 2023)

What made you decide to adopt two girls when you were just 21? Did your parents support your decision?
My mom has always been my inspiration. She worked with a lot of NGOs and charities. Through my childhood, I saw her contribute to orphanages in and around Mumbai. I often accompanied her on visits too. I think children absorb a lot of what their parents do and how they are, and that’s why I tell people that they can be the biggest example for their children. I think that’s what my parents were for me. They were my true inspiration. They never said ‘no’ to anyone who needed help. My girls, Pooja and Chhaya, were born in front of me. They were my cousin’s children, and after their mum had passed away, I had a meeting with my cousins. I told them I am willing to become their legal guardian and take over completely as they were not being brought up the way they should be. I used to hear stories of them not being treated well and that broke my heart because I was already working for so many orphanages and charities, and this was a case close to home and I was so helpless. The minute their father gave me permission to become their legal guardian, I immediately got them home. Since that day, they have been my best friends and complete support system. That’s what I keep telling them every day, that now they have to look after me.

Initially, you had kept the adoption a secret to avoid gossip. How did you deal with the situation?
Well, at that time (in 1995) adoption by single parents was not legally allowed so I became my children’s legal guardian. I am very grateful I did this because more than anything else, I feel proud of my achievement when I see my girls. Many people were apprehensive about my decision and had discouraged me when I was planning to take the girls’ responsibility. They said no one would want to marry a woman with this ‘baggage.’ But I always believed that whoever truly loves me will love and respect me for what I have done. If he loves me, he would also love my family, my girls and my dog. We come as a package deal. God has been kind and Anil (Thadani) is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I remember, when I got married, Pooja and Chhaya were the ones who sat in the car and led me to the mandap. And when I got the chance to walk them down the aisle, it was such a special feeling.

You became a grandmother by your mid-40s. How do you look back at your journey?
When I had taken in my girls, I was 21, and my eldest was 11. We actually just have a 10-year gap between us. They are more like friends but technically, I am a mom-like figure to them and grandmom to their babies. Pooja’s son was born in South Africa. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be there for the delivery. But Chhaya’s son Rudra was born in front of me in the operation theatre. I was filming it, and I cannot tell you what a magical experience it was. I could not exactly see my own delivery with Rasha and Ranbirvardhan but I could capture Rudra’s very first breath.

Do your husband and biological children share a good rapport with Pooja and Chhaya?
Anil has been a father figure in the lives of Pooja and Chhaya. He still advises them on investment and banking matters. They also share a very close bond with my younger children, Rasha and Ranbirvardhan. It was uncanny to see the girls bringing up Rasha-Ranbir (before they got married and moved out) and now their own kids the way I brought them up. When they visit us, we are all one big happy family. It is wonderful to see the three generations — the girls, Rasha-Ranbir and then their two sons — spending time together.

When and how did you explain to Rasha and Ranbirvardhan that their older sisters are adopted?
I told Rasha and Ranbir when they were old enough to understand.

Do you meet Pooja, Chaaya and your grandkids often?
I am constantly in touch with Pooja and Chhaya. We have a WhatsApp group called ‘Brats’ which has all my children. The name is such because all four are my brats. I am so proud of Pooja and Chhaya. They are successful, young women and doing everything on their own. My heart bursts with pride when I think about them.

You took a long break after the birth of Rasha and Ranbir. In 2015, you had said (in an interview) that you are happy being a mom and that you don’t want to make a comeback. What made you return to the sets?
Honestly, when Rasha and Ranbir were born, I took an intentional decision to not take on any work for a while because I really wanted to enjoy my pregnancies, watch my children grow and be there for them every moment, whether it was their first word, the first time they stood up, their first tooth coming out and falling off. Besides, at that point, I was not being offered any interesting films. I was happiest playing the role of mom. I always knew that I would start working again when they grew up and when I got something really good and solid, I would probably say ‘yes’. But I think it was actually Rasha who encouraged me. She said, ‘You know, mom, now you should start taking work regularly and not just depend on our holidays or the time when you get off from us to go back to work.’ Both Anil and I have been hands-on parents and we have enjoyed our family life and our family time, and we enjoy doing that now as well. When I started getting interesting roles, I thought why not surprise my fans.

As a mommy to three girls, what do you feel about the son preference that persists in our country?
I would like all parents to give their daughters an edge over their sons, to make up for all the years that girls have been treated as less than boys by our society.

You one said in an interview that you were born to be a mother. What made you feel that way?
I feel this need to nurture, pamper and take care of someone or something all the time. I think I have had this maternal streak since childhood. So, whether it is my kids or a puppy from the street or an injured bird, I always have my hands full. My husband laughs at me and says that I was born to be a mother. My friends and my kids also tease me about this. My parents, children, family, my pets, and my passion for rescuing stray animals are all very important to me.

Are you a strict or soft mom?
As a mother, it’s my responsibility to guide my kids and tell them how far they can go. There should be rules and guidelines for the kids. Plus, they should know their limits.

What values did you try to teach your children?
I am a hands-on mum and I have tried to pass on the values I learnt from my mother to my kids. In fact, I call myself a student and learn from my kids. In teaching them about everything from good manners to achieving goals and the power of giving, I find myself growing with them. I am the student, not the teacher I had thought myself to be. My children have taught me so much about love, life, and forgiveness.

Rasha is gearing up for her debut film. Does Ranbirvardhan too hope to enter Bollywood?
Rasha has always been into performing arts at school. She has just begun her journey and I am excited to see what’s to unfold. Ranbirvardhan is 16 and in school. He is also a chess player. In 2012, at the age of five, he became the youngest chess player to compete with masterminds at the National Chess Championship in Delhi. If Ranbirvardhan wants to join the film industry, it will be his call. I will not stop him but will just warn him that it is a very challenging field so he will have to prepare for it.