Raveena Tandon with her daughters Pooja, Rasha, Chhaya, her son-inlaw, grandsons Rudra and Jaydon and son Ranbirvardhan (clockwise from left)

My mom has always been my inspiration. She worked with a lot of NGOs and charities. Through my childhood, I saw her contribute to orphanages in and around Mumbai. I often accompanied her on visits too. I think children absorb a lot of what their parents do and how they are, and that’s why I tell people that they can be the biggest example for their children. I think that’s what my parents were for me. They were my true inspiration. They never said ‘no’ to anyone who needed help. My girls, Pooja and Chhaya, were born in front of me. They were my cousin’s children, and after their mum had passed away, I had a meeting with my cousins. I told them I am willing to become their legal guardian and take over completely as they were not being brought up the way they should be. I used to hear stories of them not being treated well and that broke my heart because I was already working for so many orphanages and charities, and this was a case close to home and I was so helpless. The minute their father gave me permission to become their legal guardian, I immediately got them home. Since that day, they have been my best friends and complete support system. That’s what I keep telling them every day, that now they have to look after me.

Well, at that time (in 1995) adoption by single parents was not legally allowed so I became my children’s legal guardian. I am very grateful I did this because more than anything else, I feel proud of my achievement when I see my girls. Many people were apprehensive about my decision and had discouraged me when I was planning to take the girls’ responsibility. They said no one would want to marry a woman with this ‘baggage.’ But I always believed that whoever truly loves me will love and respect me for what I have done. If he loves me, he would also love my family, my girls and my dog. We come as a package deal. God has been kind and Anil (Thadani) is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I remember, when I got married, Pooja and Chhaya were the ones who sat in the car and led me to the mandap. And when I got the chance to walk them down the aisle, it was such a special feeling.

When I had taken in my girls, I was 21, and my eldest was 11. We actually just have a 10-year gap between us. They are more like friends but technically, I am a mom-like figure to them and grandmom to their babies. Pooja’s son was born in South Africa. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be there for the delivery. But Chhaya’s son Rudra was born in front of me in the operation theatre. I was filming it, and I cannot tell you what a magical experience it was. I could not exactly see my own delivery with Rasha and Ranbirvardhan but I could capture Rudra’s very first breath.

Anil has been a father figure in the lives of Pooja and Chhaya. He still advises them on investment and banking matters. They also share a very close bond with my younger children, Rasha and Ranbirvardhan. It was uncanny to see the girls bringing up Rasha-Ranbir (before they got married and moved out) and now their own kids the way I brought them up. When they visit us, we are all one big happy family. It is wonderful to see the three generations — the girls, Rasha-Ranbir and then their two sons — spending time together.

I told Rasha and Ranbir when they were old enough to understand.

I am constantly in touch with Pooja and Chhaya. We have a WhatsApp group called ‘Brats’ which has all my children. The name is such because all four are my brats. I am so proud of Pooja and Chhaya. They are successful, young women and doing everything on their own. My heart bursts with pride when I think about them.

Honestly, when Rasha and Ranbir were born, I took an intentional decision to not take on any work for a while because I really wanted to enjoy my pregnancies, watch my children grow and be there for them every moment, whether it was their first word, the first time they stood up, their first tooth coming out and falling off. Besides, at that point, I was not being offered any interesting films. I was happiest playing the role of mom. I always knew that I would start working again when they grew up and when I got something really good and solid, I would probably say ‘yes’. But I think it was actually Rasha who encouraged me. She said, ‘You know, mom, now you should start taking work regularly and not just depend on our holidays or the time when you get off from us to go back to work.’ Both Anil and I have been hands-on parents and we have enjoyed our family life and our family time, and we enjoy doing that now as well. When I started getting interesting roles, I thought why not surprise my fans.

I would like all parents to give their daughters an edge over their sons, to make up for all the years that girls have been treated as less than boys by our society.

I feel this need to nurture, pamper and take care of someone or something all the time. I think I have had this maternal streak since childhood. So, whether it is my kids or a puppy from the street or an injured bird, I always have my hands full. My husband laughs at me and says that I was born to be a mother. My friends and my kids also tease me about this. My parents, children, family, my pets, and my passion for rescuing stray animals are all very important to me.

As a mother, it’s my responsibility to guide my kids and tell them how far they can go. There should be rules and guidelines for the kids. Plus, they should know their limits.

I am a hands-on mum and I have tried to pass on the values I learnt from my mother to my kids. In fact, I call myself a student and learn from my kids. In teaching them about everything from good manners to achieving goals and the power of giving, I find myself growing with them. I am the student, not the teacher I had thought myself to be. My children have taught me so much about love, life, and forgiveness.

Rasha has always been into performing arts at school. She has just begun her journey and I am excited to see what’s to unfold. Ranbirvardhan is 16 and in school. He is also a chess player. In 2012, at the age of five, he became the youngest chess player to compete with masterminds at the National Chess Championship in Delhi. If Ranbirvardhan wants to join the film industry, it will be his call. I will not stop him but will just warn him that it is a very challenging field so he will have to prepare for it.

When Raveena Tandon heard that she had been conferred the Padma Shri, the fourth-highest civilian award given by the Indian government, her first reaction was not joy. Instead, she double-checked whether the news was true. “After the news sank in, I missed my dad [producer Ravi Tandon]. I felt that he was my guiding angel all through last year, as I won [multiple] awards. I felt overwhelmed and got teary-eyed after I heard I got the Padma Shri,” she begins.

The mood is naturally joyous at home. The actor says that husband Anil Thadani and son Ranbir Vardhan are one-upping each other in their bid to attend the ceremony with her in Delhi. She laughs, “Both are getting their suits ready, and telling one another that the other is not going with me.”

For the actor, the recognition comes after a 32-year run in the industry. While her filmography today boasts movies from mainstream and independent cinema, Tandon admits that at the time, it wasn’t easy to shed her glamorous image and bag author-backed roles in Shool (1999), Daman (2001), and Satta (2003).

“It was a conscious decision to step into arthouse cinema while doing commercial films with song-and-dance. [At the time], I felt stagnated and wondered how long I could keep doing these glamorous roles wearing stylish outfits. I had to push the boundaries of acting. Initially, it was tough to go beyond my glamorous image. I had to convince directors to cast me. When I wanted to do Shool, director E Niwas wanted to cast me, but producer Ram Gopal Varma wasn’t convinced. He told me, ‘I can only picture you dancing to Ankhiyon Se Goli Maare.’ [Eventually], when I was doing a poster shoot for Shool, Ramu walked past me. [I had transformed for the role] and he couldn’t recognize me.”

Movies aside, Tandon has become the first delegate from the entertainment industry to participate in W20 India, the arm of G20 that focuses on gender equality and women’s economic empowerment. Representing 675 million Indian women is an honour, says the National Award-winning actor.

“Having this summit is a fantastic opportunity to empower women and provide them with more rights for their social and economic participation. We want to bring to the fore the achievements of women delegates, and the issues that have been plaguing them in professional and social sectors.”

As he sent the ball flying past the goal line, Argentinian right-back Gonzalo Montiel, with his historic, World Cup-clinching penalty, sent the whole world into delirium. For those present at the gilded Lusail Stadium in Doha — like actor Raveena Tandon — the excitement was something else.

“The atmosphere here was so electric... It is a vibe! People were laughing, crying, dancing. And all that happened especially when France scored those two goals back-to-back,” she told us moments later, the thrill palpable in her voice.

The 48-year-old was in Qatar to attend the FIFA World Cup 2022 with son Ranbir. Her good friend, filmmaker Farah Khan Kunder was there with son Czar, too, apart from a host of other celebs, including actors Mammootty and Kartik Aaryan. “I bumped into a lot of friends from all over. But Farah and I rightly get the ‘mothers of the year award’, as we went solely for our sons and to see them happy and excited. That is all what we wanted,” she laughed.

Joy, heartbreak and madness — Tandon witnessed it all at the game, like when Argentinian fans cried after France scored those two game-changing goals, to equalise in the final minutes of the second half. “What a fight, man! Mbappe, he scored thrice for France, and it was pretty awesome. France really fought well, but the stadium was full of Argentinians. They were the hot favourites. Messi scoring a goal was what most people were waiting for, and that happened right at the start. What a match, absolutely amazing,” she exclaimed.