Flawless new moms, fancy post-pregnancy shoots and dramatic weight loss after delivering the child — such posts on social media seldom tell the real story. Mother of two, actress and wife of cricketer Harbhajan Singh, Geeta Basra nods in affirmative. She says, “Don’t go by what social media shows you. It’s deceptive. What you often see is the final picture, the end product — baby in arms, couple smiling. No one shares the stress behind it so do not put undue pressure on you, if you just had a baby or are struggling to have one. We all are human and none of our lives are as hunky-dory as it may seem on social media.”

Geeta and Harbhajan, who have a daughter, Hinaya Heer Plaha (born in 2016), welcomed their son Jovan in July 2021.

The actress had two miscarriages in the two years before her second pregnancy. “Even for someone like me who maintains a healthy diet and lifestyle, it wasn’t easy. I was struggling to get pregnant,” Geeta says, adding, “I had two miscarriages before Jovan was born and those were traumatic two years. This struggle needs to be spoken about. It happens to many of us, and I want women to know that they aren’t alone in this. I stayed positive. Support is very important. Only a woman can understand what another woman goes through.”

She reinstates both the mother and father have equal responsibility towards the upbringing of a child. She shares, “A working mom raised my two siblings and me. I want to be like that. Raising a child is as much a responsibility of a father as it is of a mother. In the United Kingdom (Geeta was born and raised there), paternity leave is a common thing. In India, many are not even aware that such a thing exists. It’s great that Virat Kohli shed light on this issue. That awareness has to be there. Parenting is collaborative work. Bhajji is changing our son’s diaper as we speak (smiles). He is a hands-on dad, but I have seen men who aren’t as involved in their children’s upbringing as if it isn’t their responsibility and that’s wrong.” 

Virat took paternity leave to be with his wife and Bollywood actor-producer Anushka Sharma for the birth of their daughter Vamika, who was born in January 2021.

She concludes by saying, “Motherhood is rewarding. Every day is an adventure, but you need to give time to yourself, too. Your body undergoes so many changes. It takes a lot of work to keep your fitness levels high and sanity in place. Being active is most important and it helps you in the long run. Yoga has helped me a lot. You should find your own happy space.”