Deepika Padukone, in her very first interaction about Gehraiyaan, was all praises for Ananya Panday, her young co-star who plays her cousin Tia in the relationship drama. As the film inches closer to its release on Amazon Prime Video, the chatter around Ananya’s performance is gathering momentum. Talking to BT, Ananya opens up about how this film has deeply impacted her professionally and personally. Excerpts:

I am curious right now. We have attempted to do something different, and all of us are looking forward to finding out what the audience thinks of the film, the characters, the story and the way it all plays out. Whatever I say will not do justice to how much this film has changed me. I think we were among the lucky few to start filming in the middle of the Coronavirus pandemic. It was hard. It was a fresh set of challenges that stood before us — there is heavy intimacy and warmth in the film, and everyone around us was in masks and PPE kits. From the time we started doing workshops and intimacy training sessions, we became like one family.

I learned so much from my co-stars, from Shakun Batra (director) and everyone involved in the making. With this movie, I have fallen in love with the process of acting, and I have discovered the tipping point or the beginning of my process as an actor going forward. I don’t ever want to say that I have completely cracked it, but this is how I want to do things. I am all of 23 right now. I shot this when I was about 21. I have seen myself growing up; it’s been captured in the film. It has made me non-judgemental as a person. It’s an observational film and not the kind that spoon-feeds the audience about what they should feel at some point. How the audience reacts to characters will also show how they perceive modern relationships.

Most people don’t know me as a person as such. But those who do know me know that I am a lot like Tia. So, I didn’t have to look at relationships around me to understand her psyche. Shakun had realised that even before I knew it. Playing the part was cathartic in the sense that it can be scary. It’s not like I was playing myself, but I had to borrow a lot of myself for the role. I can’t say that I have felt everything the way and with the magnitude that Tia feels in the film, but I have felt most of the things that she feels. Maybe I have felt them in smaller proportions and not in the manner in which she goes through them, and probably at a superficial level. So, while playing her, I had to dive in deeper and imagine myself in even more uncomfortable situations to aptly depict Tia’s fragility, vulnerability and insecurities. You build barriers around you, so people don’t see that side of you, and then you have to play it out on screen for millions of people to see. The thought is scary, but once you get past that, it can be one of the most liberating feelings. Although in the film, my character goes through something much higher than I have experienced, I’ve also had my heart broken, felt cheated and hurt and even my view is as innocent as her where I like to see the best in people.

Honestly, I have always wanted to be an actor. This is only my fourth film. From the time I started out, I had realised that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. There is a lot that I want to do, show, achieve and continuously grow with. With Gehraiyaan, I figured that this is the kind of cinema I want to do where you are lost in the process of acting and where one gets to play off of the performances of some fantastic actors. I hope Gehraiyaan creates a new path for me and people see a different side of me. I have seen the film, but the first time I see my work, I am extremely critical. Also, I have seen it in parts during the dubbing. Now, I want to see it in one flow. I want the audience to like my work. I am curious to see their and my own reaction to my performance.

I am actually excited. My mom reads all the scripts that come my way, but dad (Chunky Panday) doesn’t. Especially when I decide to do something, he doesn’t want to be told much about it. He wants to see it as a fresh piece. My parents are my biggest cheerleaders and also my critics. I am looking forward to what they think. I am also hoping that my sister Rysa likes this film. She is very hard to please, and wants to be a filmmaker herself. She loved the trailer.

It helped me stop being judgemental about things, especially when it’s about relationships and things I am not aware of. Relationships are always between two people and what happens is often between them. No one knows what makes them happy and what makes it all work. Personally, I feel, at this point, infidelity is a deal-breaker for me, but 10 years down the line, I don’t know if I will feel the same way. I haven’t lived and experienced enough on my own, but through the film, I learned that you need to place yourself in others’ shoes and be empathetic towards what’s happening, the place and the time when it’s happening and how things are playing out internally. It has changed my perspective on relationships completely.