Given their erratic work schedules, newly married couple, filmmaker Aditya Dhar and actress Yami Gautam Dhar have hardly had any time for themselves. While the director has been busy working on scripts, the actress has been shooting for her projects. However, with the festive season kicking off, the couple is making the most of their time with each other. In a conversation with BT, Yami reveals her plans this Diwali and talks about life post marriage. Excerpts:

For me, festivities have always been about spending time with family in Chandigarh. Luckily, through Navratri and Dusshera, I was in my hometown with Aditya. Right after marriage, as per our customs and traditions, we were supposed to visit my husband’s ancestral temple, which we couldn’t due to the pandemic. So, we recently went there to seek blessings. We are celebrating Diwali at our new home in Mumbai with both our parents coming over. They are very excited as this is our first Diwali after marriage. We’ll be decorating the house with diyas and doing a puja at home. I love this feeling of being at home with my loved ones. After all, home is where your heart belongs. It makes you feel safe and secure. Aditya’s parents are really nice, warm and very loving.

For me, Diwali means new clothes. I am going to wear this beautiful traditional outfit that my mom and sister Surilie picked up for me. Actually, during my shaadi, both of them got new outfits for me, so that I could wear those for the events post marriage. However, we couldn’t be a part of these events due to the pandemic and work commitments, so I have plenty of clothes for such occasions. I am too lazy to shop, and I am happy that my mom and my sister did it for me. Also, Diwali and family gatherings call for good food, which I don’t have to worry about because Aditya and his folks are such excellent cooks. Aditya’s mom never lets me cook. They are Kashmiri, and they make such delicious traditional delicacies, so how could I deprive myself of it? Which is why I never complain and let them cook (laughs!). Aditya can cook Kashmiri and Italian cuisine really well. He also makes great chai. I am good at making desserts, and yes, I did cook a delicious Himachali dish for them one day and they all loved it.

It’s a festival meant for inviting over your loved ones and visiting your near and dear ones. I have many sweet memories of celebrating Diwali in my neighbourhood with family and friends. We used to go to a local funfair and enjoy the rides there. The lanes of Chandigarh would look so pretty when all the streets would be lit up. There’s something in the air during Diwali... it looks so vibrant and you feel so positive. There would be amazing food stalls in the market and shops would be loaded with mithais and namkeens. At home, mom would make us help her clean the house before the festivities began. I enjoyed watching mom do the rangoli while I held the katori of colours for her. In the evening, my friends and I would light up the phuljhadis, while my neighbour would scare me by bursting loud crackers (laughs!).

That’s a struggle only we know about. Right after the wedding, we were back to work. While I started shooting for A Thursday, Aditya began working on multiple scripts, which will be going on floor soon. But let me tell you, Aditya is very good at managing schedules and chalking out things brilliantly. I have never seen Aditya in that zone where after work he gets back home saying, ‘Oh, I have had such a long day, I need to be by myself.’ Also, whenever I have come back home after a long working day, I have always seen him smile and go out of his way to welcome me. It makes my day. What else do you want after a long tiring day? Marriage is about love, friendship, companionship and doing things together to make each other happy. You learn to utilise and enjoy every bit of time that you have. We have chosen a profession that keeps us busy. So, whatever time and space we have, we just go along and enjoy the journey. Yes, you have work commitments where you are separated by distance, too, but you need to learn to nurture your relationship between all this. The best way to do it is by being flexible. If you have preconceived notions and set other couples’ relationships as examples, then it won’t work. You have to understand and respect each other’s work.