Neena Gupta begins her autobiography Sach Kahun Toh by talking about the many labels stuck on her over the decades: the original rebel, unapologetic, self-confident. She then goes on to unpack this public persona to reveal someone “flawed... chipped... broken”. Sonam Joshi spoke to Gupta on navigating the industry without a mentor and keeping her career going through grit and hard work
Sonam Joshi (THE TIMES OF INDIA; June 13, 2021)

What made you write a memoir at this stage in your life? Was it the pandemic that made you look back?
I’ve been wanting to write it for almost 20 years and started writing it many times but stopped. Last year, I was here in my home in Mukteshwar for several months and looking back at my life. I was not preoccupied with anything. I didn’t have to go out anywhere to shoot. If I was not stuck here for 6-7 months, it wouldn’t have happened.

The title is Sach Kahun Toh but you’ve chosen to hide the identity of people with whom you had unpleasant encounters — a director who made innuendos about your body, a journalist who stole Masaba’s birth certificate for a scoop, a producer who expected you to spend the night in his hotel room for a role. Why is that?
There were two reasons that I changed the identity and names of people. One, I didn’t want to hurt the kith and kin of those people whose memories were not pleasant because it’s not their fault. Second was for legal reasons. I haven’t written this book to malign anybody, so I listened to the lawyers. I did conceal the parts that I was very ashamed of. Actually, I haven’t concealed a lot. I have forgotten a lot. Whatever I have written is the truth. Of course, people can say this is your side of the truth.

You write about feeling bad that you missed Masaba’s early years. What were the most challenging aspects of being a single working parent in the 1990s?
If you’re bringing up a child alone, there are bound to be problems and less quality time given to them. But that happens to all working women. It also happens when both parents are working. People have to leave their children in crèches. Sometimes I think all mothers are single mothers these days because they go out to work, then come back and cook, do the homework with kids, so it’s a difficult life.

Do you think you faced more scrutiny as a single mother in the public eye? Have things changed now?
Nothing has changed. There is no acceptance. I have not seen many men bring up a child on their own, they usually get married. As for scrutiny, I once read an article by Dev Anand. He said that if you are a public figure, you have to accept that people will be curious to know about you and trouble you. Look at what happened to Diana. I get a lot of nice comments about my work so I have to accept the other rough part too.

After directing shows like Saans and Pal Chhin, you talk about being sidelined by the saas bahu show wave. Did it make you feel very resentful at the time?
No, I had my fill. I was successful and made some beautiful series like Son Pari, Saans, Pal Chhin and Siski, which were much ahead of their time. I thought my time would come again. Saans was a dream part. I was not happy with the small roles I was getting at that time, and a friend said, ‘Why don’t you make something for yourself if you feel no one is giving you a proper role?’ I had no interference and directed it, designed the costume and sets. I tried making Saans 2 with a pilot but nobody is buying it. One day, I think they will. I am still hopeful.

About the saas-bahu shows, people lapped them up because they also go through these things in their life and identify with them. I was showing very real life characters, and people didn’t want to see that reality up close.

You describe Badhaai Ho as your big break at 60. Was it also the turning point for how older female actors are seen on screen?
I think the success was quite shocking for me. It was the break I had been looking for in the past 30 years. I think that film mattered a lot to me and I think it is going to help a lot of older actors and actresses. Older male actors still got some good characters but there was nothing for actresses. Now I have some good projects in my hand. Things have changed because of OTT platforms and people are experimenting.

In 2017, your post about looking for good parts to play went viral. But you reveal that you initially felt ashamed that people would think you were in dire straits. Now four years later, are you happy that you were honest enough to put it out there?
Yeah, I am happy that I put that post out. Speaking the truth never harms you in the long run though it may harm you now.