Rachana Dubey (BOMBAY TIMES; July 21, 2019)

In the last eight months, Katrina Kaif’s life has been through a sea change. From being a pretty face in the frame, she’s now winning praise for being a promising actor, and one who is willing to dive deep into her well of emotions to deliver a fine performance. The actress, who celebrated her birthday on July 16, is currently in the midst of a well-deserved break in Mexico. Katrina spoke to BT about all that has changed in the last year in her life, in the personal and professional space. Excerpts:

Looking at your social media profile, it would be fair to say that you’re living the title of one of your films, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara…
(Laughs!) Yeah, and I hope I am doing Zoya (Akhtar) proud with the way I am living it up.

On a serious note, what do you think has changed for you in the last one year, personally and professionally?
The most prominent change that I notice in my life is that I feel a deeper sense of gratitude and fulfilment with my work. There’s a different kind of joy that I experience when I hear good things about my performance in Zero and Bharat, which gave me so much creative satisfaction. Making these films was such a wonderful experience. Both the films taught me a lot. These films propelled the actor in me and had a lot to contribute in helping me grow, both as a person and a professional.

There was a noticeable difference in the way you approached these characters — Babita Kumari in Zero and Kumud Raina in Bharat. Both won you praise in the reviews. What has changed in the way you look at your roles now?
In the last one-and-a-half years, I’ve begun to find more joy in the creative process of making a film and playing a role. I’ve changed the way I work and live. It’s difficult to put a finger on the exact reason or the turning point, but I’ve begun to give a lot more of myself to work. I’ve started understanding the process of making a film more deeply. As an actor, this means that you have to push your boundaries and work with directors who can make you do that. Working with Ali Abbas Zafar and Aanand L Rai helped me in a big way. In the last year or so, I’ve also found a lot more comfort and a still place within me that allows me to focus on what I am trying to do. The positive comments for Bharat and Zero made me feel wonderful because it was an incredibly happy experience working on these films. Now, I want to continue with the momentum.

While playing these parts, did you dive deep into your emotions and borrow from your own experiences?
That’s what I have been trying to do lately, and I’ve been enjoying it. Discovering characters has become so much more enriching. And then, you meet teachers, who can guide you to further your craft.

Post Zero and Bharat, has your criteria for giving a nod to a film changed?
Striking a balance is important. Also, you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously. I’d still like to be a part of some fun, entertaining summer releases. It’s important to enjoy what you create. I relish lighter and easier films, while I also enjoy a role that challenges me. I’m just trying to take on films that can help me keep that balance.

In the last few months, in several interviews, you’ve made statements like, ‘My life is an open book, I got nothing to hide’. That frankness is refreshing, but it also makes one wonder why you have suddenly let your guard down...
I wasn’t even 18 when I started out in the industry. I’ve been in the public eye since then. The other day, when I was thinking about it, I realised that we are two different people in our teens and in our 30s. Experiences change you. We’re all over the place in our teens, discovering ourselves in our 20s, while finding our feet and experiencing things that mould us and help us understand who we really are. The 30s are when we accept what feels real. I know that a lot of people tend to shy away from the media and be on their guard all the time. I have also done that at certain times in my life, when I felt unstable or I didn’t know what’s really going on. This new me didn’t happen overnight or with any one decision. I felt that this is the industry, this is the work I do and I am here for everyone to see. So, whoever engages with me should get to see the most honest version of who I am and that’s what I am doing.

How did you get rid of your insecurities and become so accepting of everything around you, which is evident in the way you express yourself now?
I feel the biggest change in the Katrina of then and now is that, today, I am comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable. Everyone in their 20s goes through bouts of uncertainty; I did, too. But today, I’m okay not knowing everything or having an air of doubt. When you are just starting out, you are bound to feel shaky, while trying to find your feet when the avenues are just about opening up. With these years of being here, and with success and acceptance, you also gain a sense of confidence. It holds true for everyone. It’s not like I don’t get insecure thoughts, or I don’t feel weak or doubtful now, but I’ve stopped running away from it, which is working for me. Also, I think I was quite guarded as a person, especially when it came to my personal life. That was an overwhelming factor, which people felt about me. I always wanted to keep my guard up and that has changed. How do people perceive it? I don’t know, but we have to be who we are. Perception is something that no one can control.

Who are the people who keep you together when you’re in the thick of uncertainty or in an uncomfortable situation?
I have six wonderful sisters who’re all so different from each other. One sister is a mathematician, another is into social sciences and my brother is into deep-sea diving. Their uniqueness adds a lot of beauty to my life. My mom is devoted to helping others, and to me, she is a wonder woman who has never had a bad word to say about anyone. I’ve always seen her with a smile, and she’s imparted her virtues to all of us. I’ve also got a fantastic set of friends, and they all love me unconditionally. Nitya Mehra and her husband Karan, Alvira Khan Agnihotri, Ali Abbas Zafar, Kabir Khan and his wife Mini, are some of my closest friends. Kabir has played a big part in me finding my voice. Our first interaction was while working on the film, New York. He was full of belief, which instilled the confidence in me that I could really do anything. Aditya Chopra has been such a constant in my life. Alvira is an incredible friend. I am privileged to have so many people in my life who love and care for me.

And Salman Khan?
We have such a wonderful friendship. He’s an incredible guy and the kind of dynamics we shared while working on Bharat was wonderful. Working with him has helped me grow as an actor and as an individual. And how can I ever forget Karan Johar? He keeps every single person around him happy.

Considering the fact that an actor’s life plays out in the public domain, does it get difficult to find the right person, maintain a relationship or go through an emotionally-draining phase like a break-up while being under the spotlight constantly?
Not at all! We don’t need to give this any thought. I have no preconceived ideas and thoughts regarding relationships. I just know that it has to happen organically, and you need to follow what feels right to you.

There’s nothing like it’s hard or easy. A relationship should feel right to you and you should take it one day at a time. To answer the other part of your question, I think every experience has only enriched me; I don’t think relationships can drain or empty you emotionally. Right now, I’m not even thinking of a relationship, we’ll cross the bridge when we get to it.

Lastly, while it’s common for people to feel or look awkward in the presence of exes or people they have a shared past with, it hasn’t quite been the case with you. You have dealt with all of that with a lot of grace and dignity…
I just don’t feel awkward and I don’t carry any heavy thoughts about it. As I said, all my experiences have only given me something. Also, why do we have to make everything so complex and heavy? It’s a personal thing and may not work for everyone, but if I had two options, I would always choose the simple one over the heavy and complex. Why would I want to feel awkward in anyone’s presence? I would rather smile, laugh, have a good chat and keep it easy, instead of keeping a sad face. Simple!