On the eve of World Cancer Day (Feb 4), we talk to people who are fighting the big C, one post at a time
Nupur Amarnath (TIMES LIFE; February 3, 2019)

July 10, 2018 @iamsonalibendre:
“In the words of my favourite author Isabel Allende, “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of tragedy, of war, of necessity, people do amazing things. The human capacity for survival and renewal is awesome.”

The outpouring of love I’ve received in the last few days has been so overwhelming… and I’m especially grateful to those of you who shared stories of your experiences in dealing with cancer, whether it was your own or of loved ones. Your stories have given me an extra dosage of strength and courage, and more importantly, the knowledge that I’m not alone.”

Ever read someone’s story and thought: This is what I needed to hear today. This is a story of courage. A story of hope. A story of heroes. And thanks to social media, we now find heroes with a finger tap. They have a name, face and a positive outlook that is helping shape the journey for many who are battling the big C – and this time it’s with a big smile. Actor Sonali Bendre leads the charge with her inspirational posts. Director Tahira Kashyap Khurrana, wife of actor Ayushmann Khurrana, has been hitting it out of the ballpark with every update and actor Nafisa Ali Sodhi is smiling through the pain.

#SWITCHONTHESUNSHINE
It’s a hashtag that Bendre puts in all her posts – a hashtag of hope. Harmala Gupta, founder president, CanSupport (runs India’s largest free home-based palliative care programme) — that is planning its Cancer Walk at Rajpath tomorrow — calls the trend of sharing cancer journeys a positive one. “Even admitting you have cancer is a welcome departure from the past when such a diagnosis was hidden, as if there was something shameful. This open sharing will go a long way in breaking the taboo around cancer and will encourage those living with it to speak out, seek help and lead normal and productive lives,” she says.

Kashyap’s Insta feed postcancer is a mix of inspirational messages and funky boomerangs. Her recent post was a striking pose of her bald self, announcing: “Hello world! That’s a new me with the old self!”. She has been keeping it strong and sunny on her social media channels. “Honestly speaking, at this juncture, even your family is pretty shaken. So, this time around, I genuinely can tell you that I have actually been the source of strength for my family,” she says.

Kashyap shares how her mother still can’t come to terms with the fact that she has gone bald. “She said it reminded her of the struggles that I have been through. I told her that it should remind her of the victory I have achieved,” she adds.

CELEBS & THE BIG C
Cancer — or any debilitating illness — is peppered with military terminology: battle, fight, warrior, survivor. What it needs is a shift in vocabulary: support, cope, help, empathy, understanding. The celebrities are helping it find that.

Psychiatrist Dr Shobhana Mittal says, “A celebrity talking about health and disease can have a huge impact on people’s knowledge and attitude towards illness and wellness.” When celebrities talk about their own lived experience about their illnesses — be it cancer or mental health — it helps us empathise and connect with them at a more intimate level.

Senior consultant psychiatrist Dr Sanjay Chugh explains, “Sharing decreases the internal stress and anxiety, thereby building resilience and helping the body to fight better.”

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT...
In an essay on geekwire.com titled Finding a good way to share really bad news on social media, writer Frank Catalano gives advice on how the couple shared the news of his wife’s (Dee Dee) cancer on social media. He writes: “We realised we couldn’t cut off the communication channels (rumour so loves a vacuum) but we should manage them…. silence wasn’t an option.”

In an overtly-connected world, going off the radar is not an option. Actor Manisha Koirala has recently brought out her book, Healed: How cancer gave me a new life. “I have learnt a lot from my sickness and I want to share some of those feelings with people who are battling similar problems. I spent a lot of lonely days, restricted to my hospital bed in New York. There was a lot of time to dig deep. I want to tell people that nothing is unbeatable.” And she – and many more – are doing it one post at a time.

Gupta of CanSupport says, “Social media has helped enormously in building networks of support and providing information and resources.” Mittal notes that positive posts on battling illnesses help to dispel the stigma around it since in our society, ‘illness’ is often confused with ‘weakness’; resulting in discrimination towards people who are battling health issues.

Kashyap says everything is a matter of perspective. “My faith (Nichiren Buddhism) has taught me that now is the time to expand your life and exert and reach your maximum human potential,” she reflects.

— With inputs from Deebashree Mohanty

SHARING REALLY BAD NEWS ON SOCIAL MEDIA

STEP 1: Create a sharing framework: Start by answering seven questions: Who needs to know? How much info? Will the news and any updates worry or comfort them? What’s the best way to let them know? Who will create the updates? Will you care if the information is shared further? How much more information are you willing to share if someone contacts you directly?

STEP 2: The first post: Inform the close group family and friends first and post only after that. Stay positive and truthful.

STEP 3: Share the news, but not the details: Share what you think is the most important information: diagnosis, treatment plans, how each treatment step went, etc, but everything with an optimistic spin. Create an email group for family and close friends. Have a designated primary spokesperson to handle your communication.

STEP 4: Don’ts... Don’t suddenly go dark, keep up with regular updates. Keep a consistent tone and the way you structure your posts. Don’t solicit medical advice.

—Adapted from Frank Catalano’s article on geekwire.com

CELEBS SHARING ILLNESSES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

- Lady Gaga (below left) talked about fighting chronic pain due to fibromyalgia

- Julia Louis-Dreyfus shared her battle with breast cancer

- Deepika Padukone, Ileana D’Cruz shared their fight with depression

- Selena Gomez (centre) shared a video about her kidney transplant due to lupus

- Melanie Griffith shared she was diagnosed with epilepsy

- Adele (right) has talked extensively about fighting anxiety, depression and post-natal psychosis