Rachana Dubey (BOMBAY TIMES; February 3, 2019)

In his true nonchalant style, Tusshar beams, “Main toh sach mein mamu ban gaya.” He’s really happy for the fact that just like him, sister Ekta Kapoor has now become a parent and feels complete with her baby boy Ravie in her arms. It’s rare for younger siblings to pave the way for the older ones. The actor welcomed his son Lakkshya via surrogacy nearly three years ago and his elder sister followed suit. Speaking about the new Kapoor in the khandaan, mama Tusshar gets emotional about his sister’s decision and why he thinks she will be a perfect parent. Excerpts…

With the arrival of the latest member of the Kapoor clan (Ekta’s son) your entire family must be over the moon…
I’ve not spent much time with my nephew, but it’s a great feeling that Lakkshya will have a buddy right at home. Of course, it won’t be immediate because the baby is too small right now, but once he starts crawling and walking, the boys will have a lot of fun together. It’s almost the way Ekta and I grew up. It’s an exciting phase for us; we’ll be raising our kids together and there’s so much to learn from each other. I’m very happy for my sister, because the baby boy has completed our family. Ekta looks so happy. He’s brought unbridled joy to her life and it makes me emotional to just watch her with the baby.

It’s a coincidence, but Ravie was born a few days before your mother Shobhaa Kapoor turned 70.
Absolutely! There couldn’t have been better timing for this to happen. He’s arrived just in time and made his naani’s 70th birthday one of her most special ones by far. It’s a delight to see that my parents have their hands full with their grandchildren now.

How did Ekta react when she was given the news about her baby’s arrival?
She was very happy and we were extremely supportive of her decision. It was important for us that she should be ready for this step and she did it when she was fully prepared to take on the responsibility. After Lakkshya came into our lives, she watched me from close quarters. She’s seen my life and priorities change. While being a doting aunt to my son, she also gained the confidence to have a baby of her own. I feel I was the catalyst in her decision. Over the nine months, she always gave us updates about the progress of her child. We all knew what was going on and it wasn’t new to our household, because we went through the drill when I was becoming a father. But, it was still very special because here is another baby adding another dimension to us Kapoors. I mean, Ekta always had Lakkshya; woh uske apne bete jaisa hai, but she also needed someone of her own. Who after her? That was always a concern for us all. She’s given many years of her life to work and has built an empire of her own, but, aage kya? She also needed someone of her own to come home to. What better than coming home to your own baby?

As far as her career is concerned Ekta has always been a rule breaker and trend setter. By embracing motherhood via surrogacy, she’s also set an example for several single women, in this aspect too.
Yes, she’s definitely the first single woman in the entertainment fraternity in India to do this. I was probably the first male celebrity who did that and she had welcomed my decision with all her heart. However, neither Ekta, nor I can say that we were the first singles to become parents through surrogacy. But, we were definitely the first single celebs in India to do so. As a public figure, Ekta has set an example. She’s known to be daring and unconventional. She makes her own decisions and she makes them work for her. Only this time, it was a personal decision, something she did for her life and happiness. It’s one of the best choices she’s made for herself. With this, single women in the industry will also feel encouraged.

Karan Johar and you have become fathers via surrogacy. Do you feel the challenges of parenting are different for single men and women?
(Cuts in…) I have handled both the parents’ duties for the last two years and so will Ekta. There’s no difference here. Bringing up your child well is the most important thing. I feel, having a father and a mother and a complete family on paper is not as relevant as giving the child the right upbringing. Haven’t we all seen families where despite having a mom and dad, a child often feels neglected by either one or both of them? It’s about making the child feel wanted, loved and cared for; letting them know that they are special. Sometimes, when one parent is not fully involved and the other doesn’t know how to fill that void, it affects the way a child perceives the concept of family. As individuals, Ekta and I can play both roles because we have the ability to be protective, caring, sensitive and at times, stern. I’ve picked up more lessons in this regard; she’ll do it in due course. I think the way the whole nation accepted Lakkshya, Roohi and Yash, they will also accept Ravie and give him all the love he deserves. Ekta will get the same love that Karan and I have got as single parents.

With the news of her child’s arrival, do you foresee more speculation around Ekta tying the knot and settling down in the conventional sense?
It’s up to her, no? She will decide what she wants to do. Her life is complete. Now, whether she wants a partner or not, is for her to decide. It’s her prerogative, but I know that she doesn’t need anyone to complete her life. I don’t need anyone other than my son and my work to make me feel complete. It’s the same with her.

Lastly, what kind of advice have you given Ekta with respect to parenting?
I think the first thing she should do, which I feel she’s already done to a degree is, to throw out all the drama from her life and get rid of undue stress. That’s the reason she put out a social media post, informing everyone about the baby and how she got this far. That’s the first step. Setting priorities right will gradually happen. I don’t have any lessons to give her, because parenting is based on instincts which you pick up as you go along the way. The only thing we have to remember and believe is that our life will now centre around our kids and they will always be our top priority. You have to restructure everything according to their needs and happiness. Everything else will follow.