Ileana D’Cruz, during an online chat, revealed that she was offered to reprise her role in the Ajay Devgn-starrer Raid 2 . However, they couldn’t work out the schedule given that she had just had her baby.

When asked about being missing from the film and her possible comeback, the actress said, “I miss working in movies too and I would have loved to be a part of Raid 2. Raid was a special film, but Malini was such a special character to play and working with my director Raj Kumar Gupta was a wonderful experience as was working with Ajay again. The makers of Raid 2 did offer the movie to me but unfortunately we couldn’t work out the schedule given that I had just had my baby and my priorities are very different at the moment.”

Talking about Vaani Kapoor, who was seen in the sequel to the 2018 film, Ileana added, “That said, I think Vaani looked lovely in all the promos I’ve seen, and I’m sure she brought her own lovely charm to her character. Hope that clears any confusion (sic).”

The actress and her husband, Michael Dolan, are all set to become parents again. The couple welcomed their first child, son Koa Phoenix, in August 2023.

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Actor Ileana D’Cruz played Malini Patnaik, actor Ajay Devgn’s wife, in the 2018 film Raid. However, she was replaced by actor Vaani Kapoor in the film’s recently released sequel. While there was speculation that the makers didn’t approach Ileana for Raid 2, she took to Insta on Sunday to put the rumours to rest.

Responding to a fan, she wrote, “I miss working in movies too and I would have loved to be a part of Raid 2. Raid was a special film, but Malini was such a special character to play and working with my director Raj Kumar Gupta was a wonderful experience as was working with Ajay again. The makers of Raid 2 did offer the movie to me, but unfortunately, we couldn’t work out the schedule given that I had just had my baby and my priorities are very different at the moment (sic).”

Praising Vaani, the 38-year-old added: “I think Vaani looked lovely in all the promos I’ve seen and I’m sure she brought her own lovely charm to her character. Hope that clears any confusion (sic).”

Celebrating her first Mother’s Day today as a mum is Ileana D’Cruz, the birth of whose son, Koa Phoenix Dolan, gave her a rebirth of sorts. The actor and husband Michael Dolan welcomed Koa in August last year. “Life has completely changed since my baby was born. I feel like a different person. I love that,” she says.

Reminiscing about the time she met her son for the first time, she says, “I vividly recall how it felt holding him for the first time. He was calm and not crying at all. You see so many videos of kids being born and crying, but he wasn’t like them. He was curled up in my arms, looking at the world and his mother. It was beautiful.”

Ask her about the change motherhood has brought in her and the 37-year-old states, “I’m constantly on my toes, and I don’t know how I do it. I now understand why mothers are called superwomen — you just get this natural strength after having your baby. It’s crazy,” she says, adding that her body has found a new way to deal with the tiredness.

“I am exhausted to a point where I don’t know what I’m doing at times, but at the same time, I’m also very aware of what’s going on around me. It’s humbling yet powerful. This little baby has taken over our world and changed it for better.”

Sharing that both she and Michael are thoroughly invested in Koa, the actor, who was last seen in Do Aur Do Pyaar. adds: “Sometimes, I wish they’d give manuals after you have your baby. But you just have to wing it — take that little baby in your arms, go home and take care of it. I do the best I possibly can.”

It is weird. Sometimes, I feel like I am having an out-of-body experience (laughs). Everything went by so quickly. One moment I was pregnant and before I knew it, Koa was here and now he’s seven months old. If I didn’t have pictures of everything, I would probably think it was all a big dream. I always wanted to be a mother at some point in my life, but I had resigned to the fact lately that maybe I wasn’t going to be a mom…maybe it wasn’t cut out for me…maybe I was just going to be this cool aunt. So, suddenly getting pregnant was amazing. I also experienced all the nerves that come with being pregnant. It was such a big roller coaster of emotions.

It’s crazy. He does like an alligator roll in the bed and he keeps rolling and rolling. He hasn’t started crawling yet, but he’s doing all the moves that sort of lead up to crawling. He’s doing downward dogs, planks and push-ups (laughs). I feel like one phase gets over so quickly and then you’ve got to prepare for the next one. Before I knew it, he was teething and then it was all about solids and now, he’s almost crawling. And, we are baby-proofing everything. Time is just flying.

I had read about postpartum depression, and I have dealt with a mild case of depression in the past, so I assumed I was mentally prepared. But nothing really prepares you for the feeling of postpartum depression. It’s an added kind of mom guilt in a way. And it’s very alienating. If I am alone at home with my baby and if I’m having a tough moment, it’s really hard because I have to make sure I am happy and calm for my baby, but at the same time I am breaking on the inside. I feel like I’m failing as a mother sometimes. So, it’s very hard. It was trickier for me because I’d moved to the US, away from my friends, and it was like a new life altogether. There’s so much going on in your mind. Is he throwing up or is it spit up? Do I need to take him to the hospital? Is he eating enough? Why has he not pooped in two days? I have to take care of another human being. I have to make sure he’s thriving, not just surviving. It’s a lot of responsibility. I know a lot of people don’t understand postpartum depression even now. I remember reading some comments online after I spoke about it briefly. They were like why does she have postpartum depression, she has money she must be having tons of people to help her? I think people think I am a millionaire of some sort and have 20 people doing stuff for me. Even if I was that person and had 20 helpers, so what? Post-partum can affect anybody, whether you have the means to have a lot of help or whether you don’t. That’s something that a lot of people don’t understand. It made me a little sad. People are still so unaware and so uneducated about this condition.

Yes, but it is so important. I have been very fortunate as my husband’s been my therapist. I know that’s a big weight I am putting on him, but he’s been amazing. Every time I have doubts or I feel like I am failing, he assures me that I am doing amazingly well and that I’m a really good mom. You need somebody to consistently reassure you and tell you that this baby is really lucky to have you because you forget this. Your whole life is consumed by your child, and babies can’t really communicate how they’re feeling. So, if they are crying, you just feel like you are failing. I feel bad that some women don’t have that luxury of being able to talk about it. Postpartum is really misunderstood.

I read so many books about pregnancy and labour and there were so many tips about everything including what to put in the hospital bag. But there’s not a lot of information about what to do when the baby is here. No one gives you a manual when you have a baby. I gave birth to Koa at night so by the time they moved me to the recovery room, it was midnight. I was exhausted and I had not slept for three days. And, they just give you the baby and say, “Ok, you have a good night and we’ll check in on you in a few hours.” And, I am wondering, “What do we do now? Somebody help me!” There’s a lot that goes into it. For example, when it comes to breastfeeding, you’re told that you must feed the baby immediately after birth. But you’re not going to have your milk supply come in for at least two, three or even four days. So, what can you do? You start feeling guilty. Oh my god! Nothing’s coming out. My baby’s going to starve. So many things go through your mind. It’s nerve-wracking. The hospital did tell me a lot of good stuff, but still I was like, “Hey, can I stay here a little longer?”

My girlfriends who had babies warned me that breastfeeding is hard. Initially, it wasn’t bad, but then you have mastitis that comes with it and sometimes they don’t latch okay or sometimes they gnaw on you even though they don’t have teeth. I did not expect it to be as painful as it turned out to be. Nobody talks about how hard it is. And there’s this pressure that you feel, like you’re failing as a mom if you can’t breastfeed. That needs to be talked about too. I saw so many videos online where doctors said that even if you feed your baby a teaspoon of breast milk; it is fine. You’re not a failure if you cannot breastfeed or if you don’t want to breastfeed your baby.

I personally did not want to feed my child formula. I managed to exclusively breastfeed, so I was pretty proud. But I have to say that if I didn’t put that pressure on myself, it would have been a little easier. I beat myself up because you have so many different days. Like some days you just have a lower supply. Sometimes you can’t pump as much as you normally would. Again, because of social media, there are so many videos you see of women pumping like bottles and bottles. One wonders how they are pumping so much. We’re setting very, very high standards for each other. You start wondering what you are doing wrong — am I not eating the right foods? Am I not drinking enough water?

I obviously knew I was pregnant way before I made the announcement. I was looking forward to sharing the news, but I wanted to do it on my own terms. I did not expect the kind of comments I received. People were like, is she married, is she not married, who’s the husband, does she even have a husband, this is blasphemous…I was pretty surprised. I did not feel the need to explain myself at all. The only people I need to explain myself to are my family. I don’t owe any explanation to anybody else. It’s my life at the end of the day, I’m the one who pays my bills. It just made me sad because there are situations where women do choose to have a baby on their own. They may choose to have a baby with a partner without marriage or they may choose to have a baby via adoption or whatever means. There are so many options now. I feel like in every aspect whoever you choose to be as a mom and however you want to be, it is completely okay. It’s kind of sad that women are still judged based on their choices. I think it’s something that really needs to change because you know if I had to have a baby on my own and be a single mother, I would like to be appreciated for the work that I’m putting in for my child. Or don’t appreciate it but just let me live my life the way I want to live it because I don’t want your judgment or your opinion. I mind my business, why don’t you as well? It did make me really sad and eventually I did mention that “hey, this is my man” because there was too much speculation as to who it was. Mike’s really easy-going. I told him our relationship is personal, it’s not something I want to flash around and talk about in detail. If I want to mention things, I will at some point. Years ago, when I mentioned my relationship, I didn’t like how it panned out. I didn’t like how people talked about my then partner’s family and about him. That is something I don’t want repeated with my husband and son. I am fiercely private about my family, and I would love to share about them but it’s something that I don’t want people talking about it in a horrible way because that would just make me incredibly mad because now I’ve got like this mama bear spirit inside me that just goes bananas if somebody says anything about my child. So, I made all the announcements on my own terms.

It was. I ended up following a lot of social media influencers who were back to looking fantastic — I hate the term ‘bounce back’ — within two months of giving birth while here I was ripping myself apart in the mirror, crying because of how horrible I felt I looked. I am still working on it. I still feel an insane amount of pressure to look like what I did before I had a baby, and I’m putting this pressure on myself, and it just makes me feel like a horrible person. Some women go back to what they looked like pre-baby very quickly and that’s just their body or maybe they have help so they have the time to actually go to the gym and maybe they sleep through the night because they have somebody else doing night duty. I did everything on my own from day one. It was a choice that I made. I think however you choose to parent, whether you want to be a hands-on mom or a mom who has somebody doing night feeds, it is totally okay. If you choose to be like me, you end up looking haggard. I’m in a mom bun and pyjamas on most days and it is fine. I just wanted to normalize it because there’s that little pressure that somehow we women put on each other to be incredibly fit and get back to those pre-baby jeans and look well-rested and have lovely shiny hair every day. It’s not a reality, and it is totally okay if you are not that person. That’s just something that I wanted to say. I do love dressing up and I would love to prioritize myself a lot more, but this is what I have chosen and nothing makes me happier than seeing my baby happy. I’ll have time when he is older to do more things for myself but right now, I want to spend time with him.

Mike is 100 percent involved. He’s been fabulous with diaper duty from day one which is actually what is required. In the hospital, after giving birth you are in so much pain, the last thing you want to do is bend over your baby and change a diaper. Not just that, he loves entertaining Koa, talking to him, and playing with him. Koa is a completely different baby when he’s with Mike. He laughs so much more when he is hanging out with his dad. They have their boy thing, I suppose. It’s really lovely to see their beautiful bond and their own little games that they play together.

I feel like we’re a mix of both. There’ll be times where Mike will say, “I think you’re being a little unreasonable, Koa” and I say, “No, I think he’s all right.” So, I think we both have our moments. We balance each other out.

It is something that we forget. But again, it feels like pressure because one reads so much about how you must make time for yourself and your partner and about how your whole life shouldn’t be consumed by your baby. I told Mike that I feel like I don’t give him any time. The lovely thing is he said, “You do such an amazing job being a mom to my baby. I couldn’t want anything more…It is totally okay if you don’t have time for me.” I guess I lucked out with an absolutely, amazingly understanding man and there is no pressure.

Ileana D'Cruz, who gave birth to a son in August last year, recently took to Instagram to share a heartfelt post about her experiences during pregnancy and battling postpartum depression.

Her note began with the following feelings, "Hi, It's been a while since I've really taken a photo of myself or posted something on here...Between being a full time mama and keeping house, I don't seem to find time for myself. I'm mostly in pjs and a messy unattractive mom bun to keep my hair away from my munchkin's little grabby hands and so the thought of pouting for a selfie just doesn't really cross my mind haha. Truth is it's been incredibly tough some days. Being sleep deprived doesn't help LOL."

The actress added, "Definitely not trying to come across as complaining because this darling child has been the most beautiful thing to happen to me. But we just don't talk about postpartum depression enough. It's very real. And it's an incredibly alienating feeling. And I'm trying every day to work on making some time to get myself feeling better. A 30 min workout and 5 min shower post that works wonders really. But sometimes I can't manage that. So what I'm trying to say is I'm working on coming back here and giving you a glimpse into my new life now."

She concluded the post with the following message, "Which I love btw - there's so many amazing things that have happened to me and it's been an emotional overwhelming journey. I just haven't been one of those moms who've 'bounced back' immediately. I'm being kinder on myself and my body and getting to a stronger healthy me at my own pace. But I'm coming back. That's all. Thanks for sticking around and reading."

Last August, Ileana D'Cruz revealed the joyous news of welcoming a baby boy and captioned, "No words could explain how happy we are to welcome our darling boy to the world. Hearts beyond full".

Ileana D'Cruz is set to appear alongside Vidya Balan, Pratik Gandhi, and Sendhil Ramamurthy in the upcoming film 'Do Aur Do Pyaar'. Additionally, she will feature in 'Tera Kya Hoga Lovely'.

Ileana D’Cruz welcomed her baby boy in August last year. The actress and her partner, Michael Dolan, named their son Koa Phoenix Dolan. Interestingly, Ileana says that when she was pregnant, she didn’t think of any boy names because she was certain she would have a baby girl.

She tells Bombay Times, “I was convinced that I would have a girl. So, all I had were baby girl names and I didn’t think about a single name for a boy. I wondered whether I should keep a few names ready as a backup, but then, I was sure it would be a girl.”

So, how did she come up with the unusual name Koa Phoenix for her son? “I wanted to name my baby something unusual because I have a unique name, too. Koa somehow stood out. I spoke to Mike (Michael) about it, and even he found it cute. Phoenix is a name that’s been in my mind for a while. Also, the line ‘Rising from the ashes like a phoenix’ is inspiring. In fact, I got a tattoo of a phoenix in 2018, which had a deep meaning for me. Mike loved the name and I hope Koa likes it too when he grows up.”

The actress who's now looking forward to the release of her next Do Aur Do Pyaar co-starring Vidya Balan, Pratik Gandhi and Sendhil Ramamurty had earlier opened up about getting back to work saying, "I feel this is going to be a very eventful year, not because of the baby, but also workwise. I completed a lot of work before my pregnancy. I had finished every project, so I could relax and enjoy my pregnancy. I feel 2024 is going to be a good year. I hope my projects release this year and I can be in India for the promotions with Koa and my partner. I would love to be on a set with Koa."

The year 2023 was indeed the year of new beginnings for Ileana D’Cruz, and she feels that this year is going to be as eventful, personally and professionally. The actress and her partner, Michael Dolan, welcomed their son, Koa Phoenix Dolan, in August last year. Ileana, who is currently in the US, in her first interview after becoming a mommy, spoke to us about this new phase of her life, her partner Michael Dolan and hoping to get back on set soon.

The Barfi! actress says, “Last year went by so quickly. I found out I was pregnant by the end of November (2022).”

Ileana says, “Most of 2023 was around my pregnancy and moving base here (the US). I am very thankful to my mom for being there for me, I couldn’t have done anything without her. I had a few complications (with pregnancy), so I had to take it easy. I thought I would work during my pregnancy, but my doctors asked me to rest it out. It was just a big happy bubble for me. It is just crazy how much your life shifts when you have a child.”

Talking about going through postpartum depression, Ileana shares, “Postpartum depression is very real, and nothing can prepare you for it. I am glad that I had a good support system at home and a team of doctors who took good care of me. Topics like mom guilt are so real. I remember I was in my room, and I started crying. My partner asked me what was wrong and I told him, ‘I know it sounds really stupid, but my son is sleeping in the other room, and I am missing him’. So, there are these intense emotions you go through after having a baby. I still am going through it. I am thankful that Mike (Michael Dolan) is such an amazing partner. I don’t need to explain things to him. He makes me take a break and looks after the baby before I join in again.”

While she has been sharing her thoughts on motherhood on Instagram, Ileana hasn’t really opened up about her partner so far. There has been a lot of speculation around her marriage too. Responding to whether she tied the knot with her partner in May 2023, she says, “There’s so much speculation. Let’s just leave it at that. It is nice to have a tiny bit of mystery, right? Well, honestly, I haven’t decided how much I want to talk about this part of my life. It comes from a space where previously I talked about my relationship. I didn’t like how some people spoke about it back then. I can handle things said about me, but I am not comfortable with people talking rubbish about my partner or my family.”

When prodded further about her partner, she says, “All I can say is that he is absolutely lovely. He is a big support. He has been consistent since the first day I met him. I feel fortunate to have met him. Michael has been to India four times. He finds Mumbai very intriguing and says that it reminds him of New York. He has seen so much of my work that he knows all the songs. In fact, he knows the lyrics better than I do”

Ileana expects 2024 to be a busy year, personally as well as professionally. “I feel this is going to be a very eventful year, not because of the baby, but also workwise. I completed a lot of work before my pregnancy. I had finished every project, so that gave me time to relax and enjoy my pregnancy. I feel 2024 is going to be a good year. I hope my projects release this year and I can be in India for the promotions with Koa and my partner. I would love to be on a set with Koa,” she signs off.

Ileana D’Cruz took to social media on Saturday to share that she has become a mother to a boy. The actor posted a picture of her newborn, Koa Pheonix Dolan, who was born on August 1, and wrote, “No words could explain how happy we are to welcome our darling boy to the world. Hearts beyond full (sic).”

Shortly after the announcement, DNA reported that based on the details obtained from a wedding registry, Ileana got married to a man named Michael Dolan on May 13 this year, four weeks prior to her pregnancy announcement.

According to the report, the 35-year-old had posted a picture of herself in a white bridal gown from a beautiful location around May. However, it remains uncertain whether it was taken during her wedding or a photoshoot.

The Big Bull (2021) actor shared a blurry photo with Michael on Instagram in June and wrote: “I don’t know what kind of mother I will be. All I do know is that I love this little human so darned much. And on days I forget to be kind to myself, this lovely man has been my rock...”

Ileana D’Cruz has been away from the public glare. The actress has not just been away from red-carpet events and the big screen, but she has also managed to evade the paparazzi.

Ask her about her disappearing act, and she says, “I hate it when people say that! I don’t vanish! I am right here. You don’t see me getting papped, because I don’t share my whereabouts. I did get the taste of the pap culture a while ago, but I realized it wasn’t meant for me. It’s not who I am, and I think it’s completely okay to be different. I have been working and have finished shooting a lot of good work. So, yes, I have been doing good work, but doing it very quietly with my head down.”

In an industry where the perception is that out of sight means out of mind and networking plays an important role to bag plum projects, doesn’t she fear being overlooked by filmmakers? Ileana says, “I would be lying if I said, ‘Oh, I don’t think about it’. Of course, I do. I even gave it a shot. I tried doing the whole PR thing, thinking I needed to be seen more. But at the end of the day, I didn’t really see too much of a difference. It’s all about the personal equation you share with people (filmmakers). Producers and directors like to know their actors a little more. So, I like meeting people who are like-minded and who I want to work with. That’s the route I have taken. When I am working, that becomes my priority, and once I am done with it, I switch off for a bit and spend time with my family. I feel that’s a good balance to have because I am not someone who can just work 24/7.”

While she prefers to stay away from the media glare, she is active on social media. Last year, Ileana had shared a post on Instagram about deleting apps used to edit and enhance pictures before uploading them. She says, “I was putting up a picture while going through filters. I was on an app that helps you lengthen your body or better your body features. When I was editing the picture, it looked perfect… nobody would have known that the picture was edited. That’s when it hit me. It hurt me. I got emotional thinking I couldn’t do it. I knew that if I put up my original picture people would comment and say horrible things, but I wanted to stay true to myself instead of falling for the app. I didn’t want to be hypocritical about body positivity, which is why I put out that post. One doesn’t have to believe everything one sees on social media. Just because I am a public figure, that doesn’t mean I wake up looking picture-perfect every day.”

The Pagalpanti actor remembers being judged for her body type. She shares, “I was told, ‘You are such a talented actor, but you are just a little too big’. It definitely stings! I have faced bullying for my body type. My body size has fluctuated over the years. I don’t look the way I did when I was 17 or 18. I am in my 30s, and I think I look great. I understand certain roles need you to look a specific way, and that is fine. I am fortunate to have worked with people who wanted to focus on the actor that I am. The most important thing is to just be happy in your own skin.”

If rumour mills are anything to go by, actress Ileana D’Cruz has found love again with London-based model Sebastian Laurent Michel, who is Katrina Kaif’s brother. He was spotted in Mumbai and Rajasthan last year when Katrina and Vicky Kaushal had tied the knot in an intimate wedding ceremony.

Sebastian and Ileana are said to be in a relationship for about six months now. The two also follow each other on Instagram. Ileana was seen among Katrina’s near and dear ones with whom the actress celebrated her birthday in the Maldives on July 16. Ileana also posted a picture which features Katrina, Vicky, Sebastian, Isabelle, Anand Tiwari and Mini Mathur.

It has been a few years since Ileana D’Cruz parted ways with photographer Andrew Kneebone. Even though the actress acknowledged it, she has chosen to remain silent about what pushed her and Andrew to end their relationship.

Since then, Ileana had been single, busy with work and travelling in her free time. We sent a text to Ileana for a comment asking for confirmation about her relationship with Sebastian, but she didn’t respond.

Actor Ileana D’Cruz spent the last two years with her family in the US. And she reveals that the pandemic took on a toll on her. The tough situation also gave rise to uncertainty. She says, “2021 wasn’t the best year for me. It was really difficult. In fact, I got to a point when I was considering if I should continue it (working). I think a lot of us went into a little bit of a funk.”

But the moment she landed in India, things took a positive turn: “When I came to Mumbai, everything fell back into place, even though we were still in the middle of a lockdown. There was a sense of optimism because of the support system around me.”

With two films in the pipeline, the Pagalpanti (2019) actor feels grateful to have pushed herself to move forward rather than sitting still. “I am glad that I stuck around. A lot of people were confused because I was in the USA for a while and they assumed that I’ve moved there. I’m definitely not moving; I’m still here and keen on doing lots of work,” she asserts.

Having been a part of a several commercial films in the past, the 35-year-old now wants to do meatier roles. “I am seeking nuanced and complex roles. I like doing commercial cinema, but it’s a vague space. I want to do something that’s unexpected of me,” she ends.

In what could easily be termed a casting coup, Applause Entertainment and Ellipsis Entertainment are all set to collaborate to bring together a fantastic quartet — Vidya Balan, Pratik Gandhi, Ileana D’Cruz and popular Indian-American actor Sendhil Ramamurthy. The actors will share screen space in an upcoming, yet-untitled romantic comedy-drama, which will be directed by leading ad filmmaker Shirsha Guha Thakurta.

The eclectic cast sees the supremely talented Vidya Balan with Pratik, who tasted overnight stardom with the breakthrough show, Scam 1992: The Harshad Mehta Story. Ileana and Sendhil also turn up their charm and add to this cracker of a foursome. The film, a progressive, uninhibited take on modern relationships, marks Applause’s foray into the big screen experience. The film, which is their second collaboration with Ellipsis (after the Tahira Kashyap Khurrana-directed Sharmajee Ki Beti), promises to be 2022’s ultimate date movie.

Sameer Nair, CEO, Applause Entertainment, says, “The film is a sparkling, sophisticated romance that subverts all notions of love and fidelity in modern times. While alchemy best describes the coming together of this incredible cast, we’re thrilled to collaborate with Shirsha Guha Thakurta, who has an extraordinarily perceptive understanding of human relationships.”

Producers Tanuj Garg, Atul Kasbekar and Swati Iyer, partners at Ellipsis Entertainment, state, “The subject of love remains intriguing and debated. We were keen to tackle relationship fatigue by coming up with something that is dynamic, nuanced, relatable, uplifting and humourous, all in the same breath. This is probably the story of your life or definitely one that you’ve seen one or more of your friends go through. With a formidable cast, script and director, we are truly excited about this multi-starrer.”

Director Shirsha Guha Thakurta says, “When I first heard this story, I was instantly attracted to its universe — honest, funny and so today. The actors have been a dream to work with. Their generosity is something I will always cherish. My producers have been extremely supportive and stood by me like a rock. Yes, I’m nervous, but this journey so far has been truly special.”

The film is currently being shot at locations across Mumbai and Ooty.

Actress Ileana D’Cruz has had a great run down South and has also been doing her share of Bollywood films. Popularity, she explains, is the one thing that balances the fact that the film industry can actually be a very cruel place to survive. “It (the film industry) is brutal, of course, but it comes down to people. If they like you that is all you need. You just want people to like watching you,” she says.

Ileana feels the moment an actor is not appreciated they lose the mark. “It basically goes the same for me. I wouldn’t want to watch a film with an actor I don’t like watching. The minute you are not liked anymore you sort of lose the mark. The industry is brutal in a sense, but it has got so many perks as well,” she adds.

Acting is a profession that comes with its pros and cons, the actress notes, in this context. “You cannot have all the good things only, there are a few cons as well. I think that makes it interesting. It makes you work harder. It makes you strive to keep doing better,” she sums up.

Hot cross buns and Easter are pretty much synonymous for Ileana D’Cruz. With a mom who is quite a ninja when it comes to kitchen skills, it is not too difficult to imagine the kind of delectable Easters the actress has grown up with. Talking to us a day after Easter, Ileana says, “It was obviously a little lonely for me because my parents are in Houston, while I’m alone here. But I made it special by going out to one of my favourite bakeries and buying some Easter eggs. Since social distancing is the need of the hour, I sent it over to a couple of friends. I got some healthy ones for my friends and me. That’s how I managed to spread my own kind of Easter cheer.”

Recalling her Easter celebrations during her childhood, Ileana says, “Easter was an incredibly religious festival in our house, especially because of my mother. Every year after Mass, Easter Sundays would be a day of goodies! The best part about having a mom who can belt out scrumptious dishes like a genie is that festivals become all the more fun. She comes up with new recipes all the time. One thing that’s special, which my mother always makes for Easter, is hot cross buns.”

Getting a tad philosophical, the Raid actress shares, “The pandemic has changed not just the way we celebrate festivals, but practically everything for everybody. It definitely has muted festivals, and for good reasons. But there’s no denying that I miss our festive, family get-togethers. Last Christmas, I missed the big parties that mom would host with all her friends coming over, and everyone crowding over a massive table full of food. So, it’s different for sure, but I have a lovely big family. I have had a chance to hang out with them over the last few months. I am going to stick with those memories for now until I can spend the next festival with them.”

In a film like The Big Bull where the protagonist transforms from an underdog we root for to a drunk-on-power billionaire, Ileana D’Cruz’s character is of prime importance — she serves as the story’s moral compass. Playing a no-nonsense journalist who exposes the country’s biggest financial scam in the Abhishek Bachchan-starrer, D’Cruz says she tried to lend authenticity to her character that is modelled on Sucheta Dalal. “Our film is inspired by true events, and we’ve made our own version of it. My character is married to her work. I put my own spin to the role without looking up for references. It was crucial to maintain a balance; where she is a strong woman, she also encounters intimidation and is taken down by powerful people. There’s a certain insanity to Hemant Shah [Bachchan’s character] that had to be evened out [through my part],” she says, describing her role as the movie’s turning point. 

The Kookie Gulati-directed drama brings the actor back on screen after her 2019 release Pagalpanti. Asked if she is satisfied with the way her career has panned out, D’Cruz takes a pause before saying, “No, I am capable of so much more. I haven’t done more films by my own choice, but now, I will push ahead and do better. I won’t trade my restlessness and hunger.”

The year looks promising for the actor, who has Unfair And Lovely with Randeep Hooda lined up. As someone who has battled body dysmorphia for a long time, she acknowledges that the film about unrealistic beauty standards is close to her heart. “There were moments when I broke down while filming a scene. It amazes me that people discriminate basis colour. I feel honoured to do a film that triggers a dialogue. I didn’t put my own anxiety into the role; a film set is liberating as [it lets me] play someone else.”

For long, Ileana D’Cruz has been on the path to overcome her insecurities about her appearance, and her struggle with body image issues is far from over. Still work under progress, the actor says she now focuses on the good and not her flaws.

“That’s the problem with body dysmorphia. No matter what size you are, you will always find fault with yourself. And the problem is you end up asking people to validate your fears,” D’Cruz confesses.

Over the years, the 34-year-old actor has realised that nobody is perfect, and says “the moment you make your peace with that is the moment you get to a better state of mind”.

“When you embrace every bit of you as an entire whole, that makes you much stronger and beautiful,” she admits.

It was back in 2017 when D’Cruz first opened up about her body image issues, and since then, she has never shied away from talking about it. In fact, she uses social media to share moments of her journey towards accepting her “beautifully flawed” body. However, she admits that she hasn’t been able to adore everything about her yet.

“There are days when I look at myself in the mirror and I am honestly disgusted (laughs). But the difference now is that I make it a point to look at myself in the mirror and find one aspect, one feature about me that I love or like,” adds the actor, who feels focusing on the good rather than pointing out the flaws makes her feel a lot better.

“I think everyone who struggles with accepting themselves should try this, too,” says D’Cruz, who is awaiting the release of Unfair And Lovely, in which she co-stars with Randeep Hooda, and The Big Bull, co-starring Abhishek Bachchan.

Through the month of November, Ileana D’Cruz was in Haryana shooting for her upcoming film Unfair And Lovely. The actress along with co-star, Randeep Hooda, was in Karnal wrapping up the shoot of the romantic comedy while following all the safety precautions. Recently on social media, she posted a picture showing how she got hurt during the shoot.

“Who gets hurt shooting a romantic comedy? I do (laughs!). It was the most easy and simple shot. I just had to climb up a truck, but I sliced my hand while doing so. I think everything happens for good though, as the first take itself was okayed,” Ileana says.

Unfair And Lovely directed by Balwinder Singh Janjua (who wrote the screenplay of Saand Ki Aankh) is set in Haryana and reportedly explores the subject of people’s obsession with fair skin in India. The actress, who will be sharing screen space with Randeep for the first time, says that he was a great help when it came to nailing the nuances that were required for the part. “Being from Haryana himself, he shared a lot about their culture, the way they talk and more. It was quite fascinating to learn all this from him as my character has a few Haryanvi elements in it,” she explains.

Talking about her camaraderie with her co-star, Ileana added, “With Randeep, there’s a little misconception about him being extremely serious as a person. Maybe it comes from the fact that he has done a lot of serious films. However, he is not like that. He is easy going and jokes around on set. In fact, he was far more jovial than I was during the shoot (laughs!).”

Though they were like one big family on set, and several occasions like her birthday (November 1) and Diwali came along the way during the shoot, the team was only focussed on wrapping up work. “I insisted that we don’t have a birthday party or celebrate anything in a big way. After all, we were shooting amid a pandemic. We had to stay safe and healthy. The focus was on finishing the shoot in time,” she signs off.

The first time I faced the camera was for the Telugu film Devadasu. I was 17 and had only done a few commercials till then which had got me noticed. I gave my nod to the rom-com because I was engaged by the story of a rich NRI girl coming down to India to learn Carnatic music and falling in love with a poor boy here, only for her father, a senator in New York, taking her back to the US in a ploy to separate the two. They were going to shoot in the US for 45 days which also made it fun for me.

My first shot was a fairly simple one; I was supposed to rattle off a few lines, quizzing a guy on what he was doing. I remember it distinctly because of what happened next. Since it was a Telugu film, I had mugged my lines and was all set to deliver them on camera when suddenly the director shouted “Action” and someone banged a clapboard directly in front of my face. And I freaked out! Unfamiliar to the ways of filmmaking, I thought it was a mean prank the clapper boy had pulled to disconcert me because I was a debutante. For a while everyone wondered what had gone wrong, then, they explained to me that this was a part of the process and used to identify scenes while editing. It was a learning experience.

My Bollywood debut came six years later, with Barfi! in 2012. Anurag’s (director Anurag Basu) wife, Tani, knew my manager and I happened to be in Mumbai at the time. We met and Anurag gave me a one-line narration. Then, we spoke for half-an-hour on various topics. By the end of the meeting, he told me that he had found his Shruti but since I seemed unsure, he told me he would wait for my reply. I gave it some serious thought and realised Barfi! was very unusual for a Hindi film despite having mainstream actors like Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra, and that I might never get a film like it again. So, I accepted the offer, but I am a Goan girl and wasn’t entirely convinced about being able to pull off the part of a Bengali woman from the ‘70s despite Anurag’s conviction that I was perfect for the role.

My first shot for this film was the one on the train, where Ranbir’s Barfi sees me for the first time. It was once again a simple shot, but despite having done many films down South and now familiar with the craft, I was nervous and scared. It was like starting from scratch all over again. There was a subtlety to the character and no dialogue! Anurag hadn’t even let me learn sign language and I was completely lost. But that’s what made the performance natural and organic, which I realised only later.

Devadasu bagged me the Filmfare South Award for Best Debut (Female). For Barfi!, I was nominated in two categories, Best Supporting Actor (Female) and Best Debut (Female). I took the Black Lady home again for the latter, so for all my naivety and apprehensions, both my first films won me lots of accolades and appreciation.

In an interaction with Mirror (August 10), Ileana D’Cruz had shared that she’d been away from her parents for eight months because of the pandemic and would take the first flight out to the US to meet them once travelling is feasible again. Soon after, she followed through with the plan, and says it was “liberating”.

“In Mumbai, I had gotten so used to being at home for five months that when I reached there, I felt like I could breathe again. I went out and basked in the sun after what felt like ages,” she reminisces, adding that being with her parents after such a long time was emotionally overwhelming. “Normally, I’m a positive person, but with everything that had been happening, the moment I saw my family, I broke down. It was a huge relief spending time with them. I didn’t want to come back.”

The actress returned to the city in September, to give herself enough time to quarantine before resuming work on The Big Bull, with Abhishek Bachchan. Through October, Ileana shot for the film at intervals, before wrapping up her shoot towards the month-end. She then set off to Karnal with Randeep Hooda to kick off a romcom, Unfair And Lovely. “The story focuses on our country’s obsession with fair skin and how at times it gets prioritised over things that matter. It’s an issue we have been battling for years. We are treating it in a lighter vein, not preachy or heavy, but without taking away from the sensitivity of the subject,” she assures, excited about her fresh pairing with Randeep, who she describes as an “amazing actor” who will be seen in a “completely new avatar in the film.”

As part of her prep, she spoke to locals in Haryana to get the accent, look and behaviour right, taking some inputs from her Haryanvi co-star as well. “He was quite impressed with how quickly I acquired their personality traits,” she chuckles. The actress celebrated her birthday on November 1 on the set and was surprised with a cake. Taking everyone’s safety into consideration, she didn’t blow out the candles and chose paper plates to distribute it around. “But my focus was more on work than celebration. I wanted to finish the film ASAP and go back to my family,” she says fervently.

Keeping up with her plans, the actress flew down to the US, soon after wrapping up the schedule of the film this week.

On October 1, Ileana took to Instagram to share how she had dealt with body image issues and learnt to accept her “beautifully flawed” body. Pointing out that she has always been vocal about this issue, she confides that there are still days when she wakes up feeling great about herself and days when she hates the way she looks. “Acceptance is something that I have been working on for some time now. That post reflected my state of mind then. I had been working out a lot at the time, keeping myself healthy, physically and mentally,” she says, quick to add that we put constant pressure on ourself to look a certain way and need to pull away from that image. “If I look in the mirror and see that I am a bit lumpy, I should be okay with it as it is normal. It’s okay to have a little bump, some scars too, as they add to your character, make you who you are. One needs to be forgiving towards oneself, understand that we were not meant to be perfectly sculpted statues. We are flawed and imperfect as that is what makes us who we are.”

Ileana’s love for fitness is evident from her social media handle. Even during the lockdown, she kept her fans updated on her fitness regime. She insists her documentation is not just to inspire others but also to motivate herself to work harder and further. “During the lockdown, I took an 80-day fitness challenge and after hitting a few breaks, finally completed it this month. It really worked for me, helping me centre myself. Being at home alone for months, I needed something to push me and this challenge gave me a purpose. Now, I am searching for the next challenge,” she concludes.

Ileana D’Cruz is in Karnal, Haryana where she has resumed shooting for Unfair & Lovely with Randeep Hooda. She recently spent a month with her family in the US. The actress, who was all by herself through the Coronavirus lockdown in Mumbai, rushed to Texas during the Unlock phase. Talking to BT about it, she says, “I met my mom, brother and sister after a long time. I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief on seeing them. It’s only after meeting them that I could breathe again in peace. I didn’t realise how much I needed it. I was trying to be strong when I was alone for five months during the lockdown. I was pushing myself, saying that I can survive without seeing my family. But when we reunited, I wondered how I functioned without them.”

Ileana cherishes her one-month stay there, and says she got pampered by her mother, who cooked delicious food for her. The two also had unending conversations for hours. “I remember how mom chased me around the house for the initial one week, looking for an opportunity to hug me. But I’d run away from her, reminding her that I had to be quarantined (laughs!),” she recalls.

Talking to BT earlier, Ileana had opened up about the therapy sessions she was undergoing during the lockdown. However, she tells us that she didn’t need therapy when she was with her family. “The family time did wonders for my mental health. For me, spending time with family is therapeutic! It’s the most soothing thing in the world,” she says, adding that she will be back in the US with her family by the year end. “I have decided that I am going to end the year with my family by my side. Also, December is Christmas time, and I always bring in the festival with my folks,” she reveals.

Meanwhile, talking about the experience of shooting for a film in the pandemic, Ileana says, “We are taking supreme levels of precautions to feel safe while shooting in these times. There have been occasions like my birthday (November 1) and even Diwali, but we didn’t really celebrate as such as we wanted to focus on work and finish it off smoothly.”