Singer Jankee Parekhand actor Nakuul Mehta, aka ‘every mummy’s favourite TV star’, are one of Tellywood’s most loved couples. The duo has also been setting parenting goals by sharing glimpses of life with their four-year-old son and discussing the challenges that moms and dads face via their podcast. Parekh spoke to Neha Bhayana about the importance of repair in parenting, and why she doesn’t want to control her son.

Four is all about endless questions, boundless energy, and a lot of “but why, mama?” He says the most profound things but also insists that he needs to wear his favourite night suit to a birthday party.

Parenting isn’t a number; it’s a full spectrum of emotions. Some days, I would consider it a two — when things flow effortlessly. And some days, the difficulty level goes up to 15 — when exhaustion takes over, when doubts creep in, and you wonder if you’re doing it right. But the truth is, it’s all part of the same journey.

Nakuul and I started ‘The Indian Parent Pod’ because we felt there were some conversations around parenthood that weren’t being had enough. There’s so much focus on raising children, but not enough on how parenting raises us. We wanted to create a space where we could talk about it all — the love, the guilt, the struggles, and the growth — without filters or experts, just as parents figuring it out in real-time. These were already the conversations we were having every day at our dinner table — the things we got right, the things we messed up, and the things no one warned us about. At some point, we just felt like why not put it out there? Maybe it could reach a few more parents who needed to hear it.

Parenthood shifts everything — your sense of time, your priorities, even your understanding of love. As individuals, we’ve had to unlearn and relearn so much. It also forces you to see the parts of yourself you need to heal, because you don’t want to pass them on. As a couple, it’s deepened our relationship in ways we never imagined. It also tested our relationship. There are days when we’re running on empty, days when we barely talk beyond “Did he eat? Did he nap?” But in between those moments, there’s a silent knowing — we’re in this together.

‘Ruptures are inevitable — what matters is repair.’ Rupture and repair is really at the heart of parenting. No matter how hard we try, there are moments when we mess up — whether it’s snapping, saying something we later regret, or simply not catching what our child is really saying. The beauty is that our little ones forgive so easily; they don’t hold on to the hurt.

It’s not about never messing up, but about showing up after, owning it, and rebuilding trust. For me, fixing a rupture starts with taking a deep breath and pausing. Once things have calmed down, I apologize, share my point of view, and talk about what happened. It shows that we’re all human and that mistakes happen. Owning up to them and working through them together makes our bond stronger. When we practise this repair process now, we’re not just fixing moments, we’re teaching our kids how to handle their own mistakes when they grow up.

Have your set of advisors and eventually listen to your child’s rhythm. Nothing teaches you like experience and you have to trust that it will be okay.

Somewhere in between. I set boundaries, but I also pick my battles. Respect, kindness, and safety are non-negotiable, but beyond that, I let Sufi figure things out. I don’t want to control everything he’s learning, and I trust that. Too strict, and he’ll push back. Too lenient, and he won’t know where the line is. So, I try and find the balance.

How do I get Sufi to listen to me? In the middle of a tantrum, I don’t — tantrums aren’t something to ‘fix’. When he’s overwhelmed, logic won’t work, so I don’t try to explain or reason. I just sit with him, stay calm, maybe offer a hug or some water, and let him ride it out. Most times, the less I react, the faster he settles. It’s only after he’s calm that I talk to him about what happened, what he felt or if something he did wasn’t safe. That’s when he’s actually able to listen.

‘No screen time before the age of three’: I really meant to stick to this rule, but Ms. Rachel and Trash Truck didn’t let it happen.

‘No bribes’: Sometimes a cookie is the only thing standing between me and a meltdown.

It’s different for everyone, but for us, we just go with the flow. For the first seven months, we didn’t share about Sufi at all, and even after that, it was pretty minimal. Now that he’s growing up, we post little moments that feel right — happy ones, fun ones — without overthinking it. We do have a page for him, but we barely use it. There’s no set rule, we just do what feels natural in the moment.

I’ve always wanted to create something truly valuable for kids in the animation space, and that’s when my friend Nishchay Gogia and I brought our vision to life with ‘Sufi and Joker Bhaiya’. Inspired by Sufi’s life and his love for clowns — whom he fondly calls Joker Bhaiya — it’s a bite-sized animation series for kids, filled with tales of friendship, brotherhood, love, fun along with learning. We kicked off with a mini-series of 15 episodes on YouTube, and Season 2 is coming out in a bigger way.

To be honest, I don’t see it like that. The world we live in is overwhelming — there’s an information overload — and raising a child in that environment isn’t simple. For me, parenting is a major part of my life, and I’m willing to make the shifts needed. I choose to be mindful, to be conscious, and to work on myself and unlearn old patterns to be the best version of me for my child. I’m truly enjoying this phase, embracing every step on this journey of self-discovery and growth.

Absolutely. He is a very involved father. Nakuul and I see parenting as a team effort, we both lean on each other, learn and unlearn together, share responsibilities and navigate all our challenges together every day. Sufi needs his dadda as much as he needs mumma.

Every time we say ‘hurry up’ to our kids, we’re not just rushing them, we’re teaching them to live in anxiety instead of in the moment. Kids live in the now; they don’t think about the clock ticking, or the next class, or the traffic jam that might cause a delay. They focus on the joy of finishing a puzzle, watching a butterfly, or tying their shoelaces. Constantly saying, “Hurry up, we’re getting late,” disrupts their sense of presence and replaces it with stress. Over time, this urgency becomes their default setting, teaching them that taking time or being slow is a problem. I believe it’s important to teach them to take their time, breathe, and live fully in the present. When we let them move at their own pace, we raise calm and confident kids.

‘I don’t need to be a perfect parent, just a present one.’ It’s a great reminder that showing up wholeheartedly is what truly matters.