Sonali Bendre is loving the space she is in. When she started out as an actress years ago, there were compulsions, but today, she can choose the kind of work she wants to do. Whether it’s the OTT show that she recently featured in or the upcoming dance show that she will judge on TV, Sonali believes in enjoying every bit of her work. In a candid chat, she speaks about her career choices, reality shows today and how her battle with cancer has helped her evolve as a person. Excerpts...

I started with the reality show Kya Masti Kya Dhoom, which was one of the first talent shows in India. I love working with kids, they are so innocent and pure. I always shied away from older contestants because I found that space very competitive. But in recent years, there has been a boom of new choreographers, and I would wonder where these people have come from, they are so talented. And then I realised that these are contestants from reality shows, who are now emerging as choreographers. This is Indian talent, but it is so international. So yes, this is the first time I am judging grown-ups and it’s amazing to see the kind of talent that’s there in our country. It is so difficult to choose between contestants. . . it is not even unees-bees ka farak, it’s 19.5 and 20!

Whichever shows I have done till now, I’ve never been told to play up or play down something. Dance is an emotion and I’m here to see that. Also, see where these contestants are coming from! Look at the struggle that they and their parents are going through. These platforms are literally giving them a chance to get noticed, and from there they go on to get more work. It’s not just their lives that change after being on a show, it’s also the lives of people in their bastis, chawls, districts, zillas. . . everyone’s life changes. This is India!

I did a show called The Broken News, and in the coming months, I will start shooting its second season. The beauty of my work now is that I can do things that I enjoy doing. When I started acting, it was about the pay cheque, I needed the money. But today, it’s different. God has been kind and I have the luxury of being able to make choices. When I started working, I didn’t have the luxury of choosing. Now, what makes me comfortable and the story I feel like telling is what I want to work on. In The Broken News, I play my age and the story is relevant.

But I also came in too raw! I came in unprepared, and I have said this earlier too — if I was a producer, I wouldn’t sign me because I had no clue what I was doing. I’m just grateful that I got to learn on the job. In the current times, you wouldn’t be able to do that, as you have to come in prepared. Whatever I am doing today is because of what I have learnt. So, whether my potential was tapped or untapped, what matters is how I have grown. I have always believed that life gives you opportunities and more chances. I hope that I am able to make good on the chances that are given to me.

It’s something I am already beginning to forget. I don’t know if that’s good or not, but it takes me forward and the kind of person I am, I tend to move on. That quality has actually helped me. But there are also things here that I don’t want to forget because there have been so many learnings out of this for me. I have said in the past that when I had my child, it was a mother who was born because it taught me so much. I would say the same thing here. It was a hard time, and it still is because there are certain things that are never going to change about your body. But I do hope that as time goes by, from the lessons that I have learnt, I evolve and turn into a better person.

I don’t think I am inspirational; in fact, I find others inspirational. Like there is this girl in my pilates class who had an accident, and has taken so many years to recover. I find her very inspiring. But they are not known, hence, people aren’t aware of them. I was a known face, and I started a conversation which was very important... that there is nothing to hide if you are suffering from this illness. I didn’t intend to be inspirational, I was just trying to get on with it. If this is the equity I have, then I feel it’s my duty to talk about it and tell people that you can recover if it’s detected early, if you listen to your bodies and test early on.

I am a few kilos heavier, and I don’t think I will ever get as light as I was at that point in time (laughs)! A few more lines are on my face, and they tell a story now; maybe I didn’t have a story at that time. The one change in me now is that I truly understand the meaning of gratitude.