Debina Bonnerjee and her husband, actor Gurmeet Choudhary, welcomed their baby girl, Lianna in April this year. The actress clearly seems to be relishing her new role as she often posts pictures with her bundle of joy. The journey to motherhood, however, has not been an easy one.

Debina says, “We got married in 2011 but back then, having a baby meant giving away my career. I also had apprehensions ki break liya toh career stake par aa jaayega. The plan was to find stability first before taking another step.”

The desire to embrace parenthood, however, did arise one day – five years ago. Debina, recalls, “I was part of a show and couldn’t quit it midway. So that resulted in a further delay of about two years. Soon after that, I decided to pursue motherhood aggressively. But jab aap nahi chaahte ho tab bohot kuchh hota hai, aur jab chaahte ho tab nahi hota hai.”

It was during the phase when the couple was trying everything possible to become parents that Debina got to know of her health issues. “When the lockdown happened, I was undergoing treatments and shuttling between doctors, which was time-consuming and monetarily draining,” shares Debina, who was diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis during that time. “It’s an irreversible and incurable condition. I changed my lifestyle completely. I took steps to reduce the accumulation of toxins in my body and also stopped eating outside completely,” she says.

She continues, “The fight to become a mother lasted five years. I failed five times during the process, which included three IUIs and two IVFs. I also tried alternative therapies, like acupuncture and flower therapy. I would cry all the time because I held myself responsible for the failure. The feeling of reaching a dead-end is devastating. ”

The one person she gives all credit to is her husband Gurmeet. She elaborates, “My work, workouts, and having the right life partner kept me sane. It’s not a solo journey. The responsibility of having a child shouldn’t rest on just a woman’s shoulders; it’s on the couple. It’s a joint journey. Every time, I faced failure, I would talk it out with my husband. Gurmeet was always positive and made me believe that it was our journey.”

She shares, “I receive a lot of emails from women telling me that their husbands aren’t supportive, but they want to go through this journey to salvage their marriage. I want to tell them that if your husband isn’t with you now, a kid will not bring him back. Bring a child into this world only if your relationship is strong. The child is the harvest of love. Everything is worth it with a solid partner.”

A few months ago, Debina was trolled for not holding her baby Lianna properly in a picture that she shared on Instagram. Dismissing the incident, “I know what all I have gone through to become a mother. Why will I hold my baby in a way that she could fall? I would get upset initially over such comments, but then I realised that Lianna, my husband, and my family need my attention, not frivolous things like these. Having said that, I am mindful about what I post now.”

Debina can’t bear to be away from her little daughter. “I miss Lianna when I am not around her. The minute I reach home, I wash my hands and rush to her.”

While she does not rule out returning to acting, she is in no hurry to pick just about any project. “I am getting offers, but I am waiting for a good project to make a comeback with,” she says. “I have been shooting regularly for my brands, including the day I was discharged from the hospital. At some point, life has to be led normally,” adds the actress.