Bipasha Basu is Monica Geller of Friends. The mother-to-be has an Excel sheet ready for tasks to do, a practice she has inherited from her mom, and like Chandler Bing, husband Karan Singh Grover’s busy taking notes while sportingly teasing his extremely organised wife. Amid theongoing renovation at their home to suit the needs of their baby, Bipasha spoke to Bombay Times about motherhood, women facing pressures like constant reminders of their biological clock ticking, others’ expectations, judgemental social media and more. Excerpts:

Karan and I were clear from the beginning that we wanted a baby. I don’t have any thoughts on why it is so late or why it took time. For me, this is the right time. I believe this is when we were supposed to have our baby. We believe in manifestation. From the time we have wanted a child, we have hoped for a baby girl. I know a baby is a beautiful gift, and we are supposed to be in acceptance of any gender, and the bigger picture is that, but we call our baby ‘she’. We believe it’s a she, and we have believed that since the time we decided to have a baby.

My daily routine has changed. All pregnancies are different. A lot of pregnant women can do many activities. I have been told not to do much. I don’t have a physically active pregnancy, but I am active mentally. I am always multitasking. Slowing myself down was tough initially because I am an extremely active person. I know the need of the hour and right now, I am doing what’s right for my baby and I have made changes in my lifestyle accordingly. After you deliver the child, there is no need to give up your professional life. I won’t. I did take a long break to have a baby and enjoy my married life. I know that as soon as I have my baby and get the hang of being a new mom, I will get back to work immediately.

Karan and I are soulmates. We are great friends. We have been evolving as people since the time we met. We have been together for almost eight years. This new journey of parenthood is going to help evolve our equation even more. Throughout the pregnancy, Karan has been a hands-on husband. He would not let me do anything because I was extremely sick initially. He has evolved a lot during this phase because he has never seen me this inactive. He had to look into everything — house, work, my condition, doctor, appointments… all of it. That’s the way a relationship should be.

There are zillions of things that I would like to carry forward from my mom. Cleanliness is next to godliness. It cleanses your life also, and she taught us that. A clean way of living makes you value yourself and everything around you. It detoxes your mind. She taught us to value time. I am always on time, even when others are late. I love that about my mother. I would want my child to learn that. These are basic things that take you a long way, professionally and personally. Things like eating home food and learning to cook so that your child eats nutritious food... all these little things are actually building blocks of life. My mother is extremely organised, so that also has helped me a lot. It simplifies andlessens the chaos in your life. She prioritised love and bonding time with family over everything. The core of every relationship should be love and pure love.

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Talking about this new, exciting chapter in his life, Karan says, “Honestly, I’ve been completely consumed by and in awe of this ongoing miracle that is the most precious and, at the same time, the very basic experience of life. We know it as the creation of life. I feel grateful and blessed to be able to witness this amazing journey, which is nothing short of a fairytale, even though an ordeal for my wife. I see her transform from being my girl to a creator of human life, which I feel can only be described as something divine. Soon we will have a little monkey baby of our own, made by us. I feel life is changing, and it is getting better in every possible way. I’m a part of it and a witness to it, for which I’m eternally grateful. I think with all of this to experience, the only thing I’ve not had thoughts about isbeing a father. I guess this is what it is when you get to know you will become a father soon. One day a guy is just a guy, and then on another beautiful, unforgettable day, you’re just so much more. You’re a father… a parent! It is amazing.”