Alia Bhatt On Just How Long The Wait For Her Wedding Is Going To Be

Madhureeta Mukherjee (BOMBAY TIMES; May 15, 2022)

This has been a year of several milestones for Alia Bhatt. A wish that she harboured since the age of nine, came to fruition with Gangubai Kathiawadi. She finally stepped into her dream director, Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s cinematic landscape. Her stellar performance wowed the audience and it validated her creative choices, once again. The film went on to become a commercial success, and yet another gem in her crown. In a conversation with us, the newly-married actress talks about the Bhansali-effect, Gangubai’s impact on her life and Ranbir’s silent support. Read on...

You have sunk deep into your roles in the past, too, for films like Udta Punjab, Raazi, Gully Boy. But to work on a film with Sanjay Leela Bhansali, apart from the prep on the character and dialogues, was there any mental prep that was involved from the moment you agreed to be a part of his cinematic world?
I don’t think in life one can mentally prep for a role, you may say you are doing it, but what you are really doing is mentally prepping for all the hard work. If I go mentally prepared, I won’t be able to actively feel any of those things on set. So, for me, the mental prep is more like...am I ready to give it my all, not have any complaints, or have any social life beyond the movie at that point? That’s what I prepare for. In fact, at the end of every day I want to be shocked and say...today I felt this, or today I physically pushed myself this far. You discover new beats when you wholly surrender to the process. I think it is more a process of surrendering, than emotionally preparing.

So, you are the kind of actor who believes in totally surrendering to a character?
Yes, that is the only way. Completely giving it your all is the only way. Sometimes, you hold on to who you are as a person, or maybe your mind is occupied with other things... all of which is normal, and there is nothing wrong with it. To a certain extent, very often other things in your life seep in to your performance. For Gangubai, I didn’t let anything else enter my life and also what helped was that we shot this film at night. There was no disturbance and a natural quiet and that helped us go deeper into that world. And at that point, it was the only world we knew.

Ranveer Singh, who has worked with Bhansali several times, says that he broke him as an actor, and he had to rise from there. Did you go through a similar process of reinventing yourself?
Did you have to unlearn a lot of things to begin this journey with him on a fresh slate? As an actor, I don’t have any fixed way of working. It’s not like I had to unlearn anything. What I realized is that there isn’t only one way to do a scene, which is what is on paper. I realized that there are million ways to approach a scene. Other than that, I prefer to choose the director’s process as my process. For some reason, I feel that if I keep changing with the director’s vision, then my process will also evolve with it.

There are a lot of artistes out there, who would give an arm and a leg to feature as Bhansali’s leading lady and be a part of his cinematic vision. Now that you are one, and that too, a part of a film that has gone on to become a success and been talked about for the right reasons, does it feel like you have hit a milestone?
Hundred per cent! Look at the list of illustrious actors that he has worked with and now, I am added to that. It feels like... wow! Also, he’s known for extracting the best performances from his actors and making their look and dialogues so iconic. Thus, it makes it more special. He has that brilliant understanding when it comes to creating moments in his movie that stick. For the first time people have been asking me to repeat dialogues from the film.

Is there any aspect or nuance that you really wanted the character to have or bring out? Or some trait that you specifically focused on?
I think what I wanted to bring to the character was humour and a bit of sarcasm. Even in terms of her body language, in subtle moments, and even some really random moments which the audience could have missed, I wanted to bring in humour. I feel there is a lot of comedy in tragedy. Even though she comes from a tragic setting and world, Gangubai’s soul is light.

Did Gangubai take you to places that you have never been to as an actor?
Absolutely! It took me to places within scenes I’ve never been to before, but I can’t tell you how I went there, and I also can’t tell you where that place is (laughs!). It happened in the moment and you don’t remember what happened after that.

Before Gangubai released, there were people who wondered whether you could pull it off. It’s not that they doubted your acting prowess, but because physically you look dainty. During the two years of working on this film, did you ever have self-doubt? Did you ever feel that this could go terribly wrong?
No! I didn’t think it would go terribly wrong, I thought that either it will be absolutely right, or it would be a comedy. I can’t hold back my decisions thinking something can go wrong. So, for me, even while I was performing the part, I was doing it with 100% conviction. If I start doubting myself, then you will see that in my eyes. Yes, we never know what the audience will think. We went through two years of sitting at home because of the pandemic, and we weren’t sure about the palate of the audience. It was a new film, and even in structure and form, it was episodic. I couldn’t sit back and worry about the outcome, because if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to totally surrender to the moment.

Does an actor of your calibre ever feel self-doubt? Do insecurities crop up?
Of course, I have moments of self-doubt and insecurities, but even if I do, it doesn’t mean that I don’t go ahead and try to pull it off. I think one thing that I have discovered with time is that I don’t fear making a fool of myself. If I do something, and it goes wrong, it’s okay. At least I have tried and given it a shot. If I don’t try, how will I even know if I can. Another thing that I have become very comfortable with is that I don’t need constant gratification and validation. I want to reach heights as an actor and if I get appreciated for having done my part correctly, it’s great. If I don’t, maybe it was not for me. But at least I tried. I give myself a pat on my back for trying and doing something new and different.

A lot of that confidence and courage to make brave choices also stem from the fact that you have enjoyed critical acclaim and commercial success early on.
When I did a film like Raazi, somewhere in my heart I recognized that this film will not only be loved but be commercially successful. And when it worked, somewhere I felt validated in my thinking. I am a creative collaborator and that is also why I decided to become a producer. My choices have been supported by the audience. I feel that if my instinct is saying that this will be something new for me, I should go out there and do it, as I have got that validation in the past.

While we understand that box office success is crucial, actors often reach a stage where they aren’t driven by just numbers. The connect that they form with the audience matters beyond everything else. Would you say that you have reached that point in your career?
If I am making a film for the theatre, I want people to come to the theatre. I am not making the film for myself. I care for box office numbers only in that sense. Now I have become a producer, so I understand how much money I am spending on a film and how much is coming back to the film. The thing is, I don’t believe that OTT has become a dumping yard. I think it has become a place where people can portray certain work which may not be commercially successful. There are certain subjects and films that people don’t want to go to the theatre and watch. They want to watch it on their phone or consume it gradually. Or there is a certain film that you think should cut across the existing diaspora, so then you put that film on OTT. It doesn’t mean it’s not a good film, the subject maybe unique, but it makes for a good watch at home. But if you are coming out of your home and spending money on tickets and snacks, it has to be worth your while. I am not at that stage where BO numbers don't matter to me, and anybody who is saying that, is not being honest. It matters to everyone.

Ranbir Kapoor has not only made his debut with Bhansali, but he has also assisted him prior to that. In moments of uncertainty, doubt, or just otherwise, did his inputs and understanding of working with Bhansali, help you through the two years of shooting?
I don’t think I am someone who looks for advice and tips. I have my own process and like to make my own mistakes. I make my own discoveries and observations, too. I am very observant, and if you give me something beforehand, it gets stuck in my brain and I start expecting that. Hence, I like to stumble upon something new. But definitely, while shooting for Gangubai, the support that Ranbir gave me through his silence — knowing that I am going through this process and I didn’t have much to give at that point other than to the film — was something that I cherish and value. It was a silent understanding, without saying much or doing much.

There is a dialogue in the film, among many powerful ones, “Izzat se jeene ka…kisi ke baap se nahin darne ka.” Do you think the choices you have made in life, personal and professional, have made you a fearless person?
Fearless doesn’t mean that you don’t have any fear. I think I am very comfortable with feeling uncertain, doubtful, insecure and all these things. But that will not hold me back from making strong decisions. Doing the unusual, unheard of and the unexpected, is what satisfies me and that can happen only if you are a bit fearless. So, I will not say I am a fearless actor. Also, it all depends on what you are seeking and what satisfies your soul. I get happy when I do something shocking and different. ‘Whoa!’ is the response I enjoy. Nice, nice... good is not what I like to hear.