Actor Pankaj Tripathi tells us about the women he admires in his life, and why he thinks cooking is very similar to acting
Deebashree Mohanty (TIMES LIFE; August 4, 2019)

From Gopalganj to Mumbai, a decade of struggle... did you ever want to give up?
It’s all a matter of perception. When you cannot change the content, it’s better to change the context. In the hot scorching sun, you may say you are getting tanned or your skin is burning. But the way I see it: I am getting a lot of vitamin D. Struggle has always been a part of my life. No drama school can teach you as much as life can... provided you are aware and you are positive. The journey has been tough but quitting was never an option.

How has your relationship with Mumbai been?
It was on October 16, 2004, precisely at 7.30 am that my wife and I landed at Mumbai Central Station. We were travelling in a sleeper class bogey amid 70 strangers. When I reached the city, I had no clue that Mumbai would make me world famous one day. But today, Mumbai is really my jaan... it has given me much more than I asked for.

Your wife has been with you through troubled times and your meteoric rise. What has her role been in all this?
As a school teacher, my wife had to run the house for a very long time. From our rent to every little expense... she would bear all the costs. I used to do some TV shows. I have played an inspector in one, a lawyer in another for seven episodes. It was enough for survival. Ghar chal jaata tha, par dukaan nahi chal paati thi. Somehow, those days came and went by.

You’ve said when you were in your teens, there was only this one thing that you were sure about: love marriage…
Yes. I was in 10th standard when I had decided I will go for a love marriage. No one in my village had done it, so I had to. At that point I had no idea what my future would be but this was the one thing I was certain about.

Did love happen in school?
In the eighth, ninth and 10th standard, there were only four girls who would come in after the teacher walked in. They were asked to leave before the teacher left the class. They were strictly instructed to sit separately. I didn’t even get the opportunity to ask their names. When I went to drama school in Delhi, I found myself unable to talk to girls. A bit of that hesitation is still there.

Tell us, how did you meet your wife?
I met my wife thanks at my sister’s wedding. My sister’s in-laws wanted to make a toilet before she moved. My friend had gone to their village to oversee the construction. He saw a girl there (my wife today) and told me about her. I heard all about her and fell instantly in love.

Courtship was very different at that time. We were seeing each other from 1993 to 2004. During that time, I went to drama school. There were no cell phones and we couldn’t write letters in case anyone else in the house opened them. When I went to NSD, there was a phone there and she had a landline in her house. We decided that every day at 7.30 am and 8 pm, we’ll talk to each other.

You said women played a big role in your life...
Apart from my wife, my drama teacher in Delhi, Anuradha Kapoor, and the director of my very first film, Dharm, Bhavna Talwar, have played a great role in shaping the person I am today. In my life, I feel ek aurat ne paida kiya, baaki saare aurat ne milkar banaya (one woman gave birth to me, all others have helped shape the person I am today). I think women are a little more evolved than men. There is no doubt about it.

When did you decide to become an actor? And did actor Manoj Bajpayee have anything to do with your decision?
There is a river that flows near our village… on the other side is Manoj Bajpayee’s village, Champaran. When Satya released, he became an instant sensation. I was in school preparing for medical. The acting bug had already bitten me and I was a keen performer in plays. But after Bajpayee’s Satya became a hit, I got that boost. I felt that if someone from our neighbouring village can become an actor, I can too.

After a few years when I was working in a hotel in Patna, I met Bajpayee who was staying at the hotel for a shoot. The next day, while leaving, he forgot his slippers. I asked the hotel management to give it to me. I wore those slippers because he was like my guru. I think the acting journey in my head began right there and then...

Your parents didn’t object to you wanting to be an actor?
I belong to a farmer family. We have been farming for generations. The only other profession that some of my great grandparents had was that of a priest. My parents really didn’t have any great expectations from their children. It’s not as if woh chahte thhe ki hum kuch aur baney, aur hum kuch aur hi ban gaye (not as if they wanted me to become something else and I didn’t). Everyone thought I would grow up to do kheti. When I told them I wanted to act, they said ‘please go’. They believed nothing was going to come of it and I would get back to farming in no time. The only thing my father asked me was if I’d be able to run a house. I lied to him then. I told him I would become a professor and teach acting.

What is their reaction now?
They feel very proud. The younger generations feel extremely motivated; they think they can dare to dream now. I think I have given more motivational interviews than act in cinema. The roles may be few and far between, but the interviews are very regular. That’s because I speak positively and my story gives others hope.

You have said there’s a correlation between acting and cooking. Elaborate…
Both need a lot of imagination. When you ask your husband or father to carry lady’s finger or cauliflower, you have already thought of a menu. You have a vague idea of how you would like to make the gravy. Similarly, an actor begins his preps in his head the moment he reads the script.

For example, you would want a distinct aroma or flavour in different gravies. Hing (asafoetida) cannot be used in everything but it has a very distinct aroma. Acting is like that. A script may be very good but it may not suit you.

Some feel that you often steal the show from the main actor...
I am only concerned with the role given to me. And I know my professional limits. For me, cinema is like a big sweet shop. If I am asked only to make jalebis, I will do that to the best of my ability. I wouldn’t bother myself with what is happening with the gulab jamun.

So... what is it in the script that attracts you to it?
I would like the script to have an underlying social commentary. Because cinema for me isn’t just a medium of entertainment. It is way more than that. But the commentary shouldn’t be preachy or too in your face.

Your ‘I Made It’ moment?
I don’t see it that way. I am just happy that pehle main kaam ko khojta thha... ab kaam mujhe khoj raha hai (Earlier, I was looking for jobs, now jobs seek me out).

How do you rejuvenate?
I go back to my village. I’m very connected to my family and roots. I also read a lot of Hindi sahitya. The other thing I like is travelling to different parts of the world. I love rivers and want to see each one in the world. The Victoria Lake in South Africa is on my bucket list. Mujhe ghat ghat ka paani peena hai.

Do you have a stylist?
No. I just wear whatever the designer gives me to wear. At home, I generally prefer a kurta and a Pathani because they are loose and comfortable. I cannot sit on a table or a sofa with my legs down. Since I like folding my legs up, it is always more comfortable in dhoti kurta or pyjamas.