Saptaparna Biswas (BOMBAY TIMES; September 13, 2018)

From being an openly gay person in the film fraternity to unabashedly presenting same-sex relationships on screen, filmmaker Onir had ensured his identity was never stifled. Amidst the struggle of presenting LGBTQIA themes in the most ‘normal’ way, when he heard about the historical verdict by Supreme Court, scrapping section 377 of IPC, he was among the first to celebrate the victory. When we met the jubilant director of I AM, he was more than happy to share his musings about the changing society and the way forward from here…

Let’s start right at the beginning, when you discovered yourself…
It was not the usual start, you know. Back in school, I used to be a desperate romantic, who would fall in love with every second girl and it was always disastrous. Eventually, I realised I like men, yet, I never felt the fear. All I told myself was that I won’t lead a double life and not lie to the girl I’m with. I thought of exploring my desire and attraction for other guys. I remember the early days when I used to go to online chat rooms and even go on blind dates, some of which were really catastrophic. For me, it has been a great adventure, and I’m glad my life went through all that. Most of my friends are not gay; I don’t define anyone by their sexuality. However, the true meaning of a person’s love has always eluded me. Since I was in the industry, it was difficult to understand why people love me. Is it because I’m who I am or because of the tag of a filmmaker that I carry. I have felt used at times, but I guess that has happened to everyone irrespective of their sexuality.

The scrapping of section 377 has been monumental for the LGBTQ community. What are your thoughts on it?
I am not a criminal anymore! It is truly empowering to have the law on your side. The community will now come out as they know people will treat them with respect. One won’t be scared to fall in love to fight for their rights. The whole secrecy which threatens the sanctity of many relationships will be gone. In fact, marriages would be better and by choice. People won’t have to lead dishonest or double lives anymore. I celebrate the fact that so much effort was put in by so many people, even when I had given up. Their efforts have paid off. Also, I am in awe of the bench and five judges who gave us more hope.

After attaining the legal right, what do you think is the way forward?
It is important to find a way to normalise people about the themes, that there is no difference between you and me, and it’s just the way we love is different. Each of us face similar relationship issues. As far as advocacy is concerned it should be handled a) at family level where they support choice of the individuals, important to counsel parents b) the schools and colleges should have inclusion of LGBTQ rights during sex education class. Because children are the future. My 14-year-old niece, had once started the conversation with ‘Mama, I know all about you, and I’m proud of it’ has now become my confidante too. It has also given her an opportunity to confide in me about her thoughts and musings on sexuality. This is the kind of confidence we have to instil in the upcoming generation.

What was your family’s take on your choice?
I have been fortunate that way. My family empowered me as right from day one I had complete acceptance from them and I know it means a lot. My parents, siblings, close ones accepted me as is, without even a discussion. I never had to hide myself. Similarly, in the workspace, I have not faced any issues because of my identity, but yes, the industry hasn’t been accepting of themes I want to present. Entertainment channels need to make concessions where such films and themes can be shown to bring more acceptance.

Currently, same sex love or attraction is portrayed in a manner of caricature. Do you think there will be a new thought process now?
It won’t change overnight, and honestly one cannot blame the industry. After all it goes according to box-office predictions. Even for me while I got the National Award for I AM, no television channel was ready to show it, despite having a U/A certificate because of the subject. So, filmmakers need support from every angle to be able to express such themes. Even now I’m struggling to fit Shab on satellite, yet it is not finding the due distribution for its subject. The audience will take some time to accept it, but we need to keep pushing the envelope. The more they see, the more accepting and understanding they will become. In Hollywood, there are films that are going to Oscar based on such themes. But that kind of support is missing here. Young filmmakers who want to work on such films don’t have the backing. We need the same celebration and support.

Millennials are more accepting of homosexuality. Do you think that will bring more progression in coming times?
I think ours is a divided society. There is a part of it that is educated, well-read and well off and accepts everything. But LGBTQ is beyond all these constructs. There are people from small towns who don’t know how to deal with it. So advocacy and awareness will have to go to the roots where people are facing this discrimination and start with them. There is a much wider area that we need to cover. The best way is to go back to our own culture. There is no book or adage in our culture that says it is a crime or a disease. None of our ancient scriptures claim this, and that is the biggest strength that we have. We need to reinterpret, redefine the beliefs. We should retain the good and work around the bad.

In the path ahead, what will be your contribution to the change?
My effort to tell stories the community connects with, will continue. It will take different shapes and forms as society changes. I will always be there as an artiste. But my definition is not just that of a queer identity, rather of a person who goes about spreading acceptance. This law means a lot to me, because during my relationships too, I have been with people where I have been open with, but the person due to fear of stigma quietly changes their stand last moment. I would realise how they left my side due to social pressure to get married or decide they are no longer LGBTQ. Such instances caused me a lot of pain. I feel now I can expect people I fall in love with to be more open and not be scared to be seen with me.