Upala KBR (DNA; September 20, 2016)


The best gift
When contacted, Pooja laughs and says, “For the last three years, Munish and I were together in Kalote. He tells my father jokingly, ‘Bhattsaab, ab toh apni beti ki zimmedari utha lo! We both didn’t feel the need to cheat. I changed from the person I was and had become completely devoted to my marriage. One fine day, I realised that I had got bored of myself and that I needed to become a wild child again and I told Munish, who was man enough to understand what I was going through, that when we got married we had promised each other that we won’t look over each other’s shoulder and I needed to find my earlier self again. As a woman, you should have the right to do what you want. Munish told me, ‘Pooja, I won’t prevent you from being you.’ Our marriage is the best gift I had.”

Where’s the permanence?
Pooja explains her telephonic conversation. “I have tried marriage and the best part about it was that we were completely honest with each other and he has dealt with me at my worst. If I get married again, it has to be that someone who can go through life with me and my six dogs and four cats. Do not look at my naked body if you cannot look at my naked soul. Any man I need has to want to be with me — one day I will be placid and another day I can be like a tsunami, so I say that if you can’t deal with a tsunami, don’t even come close to me. In my conversation, what I meant was that marriage in this present day and age is a redundant institution. I don’t want your sperm, money or flat so what do I need you for? I only want to be an equal with you, have your companionship and am happy to hold hands without tags. I don’t think there is permanence in marriage today.”

Ex husband = Best friend
Though Munish and Pooja announced their break-up in 2014, they are yet to divorce. Pooja says, “Yes, Munish and I are still married on paper, but I won’t ever divorce him unless he falls in love and his woman wants to have children. I love kids, but I don’t have the biological urge to produce them. Kids are delightful company and I love my friends’ children, but I won’t be a lesser woman if I don’t have them. At one point in time, I had the urge to have six kids, but now that has changed. I continue to have the best break-up of my f**king life, so f**k your marriage! My best friend is my ex-husband. We get together when we get lonely and there is nothing sexual about it. I won’t call my father at 4 am, but I can call Munna who will ask me, Kya ho gaya?”

Munish ki ‘bachchi’
While they remain separated, this is one marriage that will never get back on track again. Pooja says, “I don’t go back in life. I have learned from Munna that only go back to see how far you have come. For me, when it’s over, it is over. We are both single but we don’t make it murky by having sex. Yes, I would like to fall in love again if I meet someone who loves me the way I am. I am a hopeless romantic… Am I open to love? I am addicted to love! The day I say I don’t want love is when you should be worried about me. Do I believe in permanence? Not in that way anymore. Munish is more like a father to me as he takes so much care of me. I tell him, ‘Main toh tumhari bachchi hoon.’ Munish is honest to a fault and the greatest compliment I could give him is when I feel lonely on occasions, he never takes it personally.”

Pooja adds, “I had a string of relationships and could have married any man — Bobby Deol or anyone else, but why did I marry Munish? Because I met the right person at that time. And after 11 years of marriage to him, drinking with him, the love won’t go out of our friendship. We stay in separate bedrooms and I know he’s got my back. What Munna and I created is magic. Today, my father has built a house next to our farmhouse and chills with us every weekend in Kalote. Munish and I are more together in our separateness. I got lucky with him, he’s a very good guy… Dildaar. They don’t make men like him anymore - he broke the mould.”