Neetu Kapoor and Riddhima, tell us why a mother's role is paramount to build character in a child's life

Neetu Kapoor openly confesses, “It's true... I have to make appoint ments to meet my son! I actually do a mental rewind on what I need to discuss with him, when he has time. Both my kids are 'settled' in that sense ­ Ranbir with his career and Riddhima with her marriage and children," she muses, as we settle in her basement parlour for a hot cuppa. Mrs Kapoor has her tea with diet oatmeal biscuits only, and the zero-fat Riddhima Kapoor-Sahni does not even seem to be touching that! Riddhima is keen to chat first, worried that Samara (her 3-year-old daughter) may implode if she doesn't get attention quickly.

“Show us the Suryanamaskar?" asks Neetu of her, and Samara promptly enacts the asana. “Say the Gayatri Mantra?“ Baby obliges. Looking at me laughing, Neetu Kapoor says, “She'll do it all, then she will chant Om Shanti Shanti Shanti, then do some yoga pose."

When you listen to the flawless, super-fit Neetu speak, you realise that while most well-to-do women her age are madly insecure about how gravity and time will impact them, she somehow has it all figured out... with admirable élan. A self-professed `motu teenager when I got films opposite Rishi', Neetu has maintained an under 60-kilo weight for decades now, never once giving in to complacency. “There are a lot of lifestyle diseases which I have seen in my family. Obesity leads to diabetes, blood pressure, gout...so many issues. Cancer may be more complex but lifestyle diseases are entirely in our control. I keep varying my exercise...kabhi zumba, toh kabhi yoga... and when I go on a holiday, I buy the latest exercise equipment," is her quick confession. “Now, I am into Vipr; I keep adding new things from my travels. I go into the garden with my trainer and do the Vipr. We also do TRX. Every day I do one form of exercise. Twice a week with a trainer, thrice a week I do zumba. I have to work out for one hour, daily."

Riddhima is a chip off the elegant block. For decades, Neetu Kapoor's only focus was raising her kids to be good human beings. Riddhima knows that inherently, is grateful for it, but also says she sees her mum as a stylista. “To me mum was always like this style icon, she used to go out to party, wear these sarees, dress up.
We were kids, we always had school the next day, but I loved to watch mom get dressed. I have memories of her visiting Abu and Sandeep's showroom, thinking 'one day when I grow up, I will also wear these types of sarees!'" she smiles, nostalgically.

Having said that, so strong has Neetu's influence been on the kids with healthy ways of being, eating, thinking, that Riddhima has not only kept up this legacy in her own space, but the roles between mother-daughter now seem to be reversed! “Now, I am learning so much from Riddhima. ­ She is so controlled, she has amazing willpower... I am, in fact, asking her to gain weight, not lose weight," says Neetu. “I know that at night she will have just one roti and sabzi. You never see her picking on food through the day. And this is not how the Kapoors are. My husband Rishi... I have not been able to put any of this into his head. Now I have given up. Let him enjoy. For years when he was acting, I used to put him on many different diets... and, in fact, that is how my own understanding grew. He used to be on chemical diets, 11 day diets, he used to skip a lot in those days. Then my focus shifted to the kids... raising them to understand good lifestyle choices."

Riddhima sans make-up, sans fancy clothes, is a paler version of the sporty Neetu. Says she, “Everyone knows how wonderful my mom is as a homemaker. Presently, I live in a joint family in Delhi, but if I had to do things entirely my way, I would do it exactly like mum. Nothing OTT, everything simple, minimalistic. My mom's taste is very classic, elegant, and I lean towards that. She's more earthy. That's her. Colour and all is also not for me.“

Says Neetu, “Imagine for so many years, 24/7, it was just my children and me; how they shape up has everything to do with how much time and energy you invest in your kids. Now when I look back, I see that they both Ranbir and Riddhima are like me. They are nothing like my husband! While raising them, I noticed if I was courteous to somebody, they learned that. How I treated my mom-in-law, is how Riddhima will treat her mum-in-law. If I am overall good with strangers, polite, or throwing tantrums ­ she will mirror that," shares Neetu.