We have seen Neetu Kapoor in bit roles over the years, be it Do Dooni Chaar (2010), Jab Tak Hai Jaan (2012) or Besharam (2013). “I did Do Dooni for Rishi-ji. I did Besharam for Ranbir. JTHJ I did for Aditya (Chopra) because the role was a negative role and they needed a positive personality to reflect the part with empathy. But it’s only this film that I am doing for myself,” she says, referring to her next release, JugJugg Jeeyo.

Karan Johar’s production sees her take centre-stage with co-stars Anil Kapoor, Varun Dhawan and Kiara Advani. The senior actor admits she signed the movie to overcome her grief, after losing husband Rishi Kapoor in 2020. “I want to be happy. Losing a partner who you met when you were in your teens, shakes you up. I have been with him since I was 15. I was alone for the first time in a long time. I am turning 64 next month. It’s a friendship of that long - from teenage years to now. I don’t want to stress out my children, so working is my way of making sure they know that I am alright. Seeing me enjoy work, chatting with the paps, and promoting the film relaxes them a fair bit.”

The journey of moving away from her own grief hasn’t been an easy one, Kapoor notes. As a primary caregiver to her husband - late Rishi Kapoor, who battled cancer, weighed her down emotionally. The actress admits that after his death, she felt her life had no purpose. “I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been in the shoes of a caregiver can even fathom what  I have gone through emotionally. I was down and gone. We had a dinner party at home and Karan (Johar, producer) was at the dinner. He insisted that he wants to narrate the film. I was at such a low point that I would’ve said no. But the script convinced me. One I said yes, mentally I started preparing for the character. One day at a time, I stopped thinking about what I have lost. It is true that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. The thoughts of what I went through stopped coming back. My life and routine was around Rishi-ji - holidays, lunches, weekends. I didn’t have the one constant person I would turn to. So I became independent in some ways. The film came at a time when I needed it the most. It also gave me the confidence that I can do more of this.”

Showing up on the film’s set on day one made her extremely jittery. “It was horrible. I was shaking at the thought of this film. When your partner has left you, you are not strong. I wasn’t healed when I started working on this. But everything worked out for the best for this movie. The good thing about me is that I have an immense amount of patience. I don’t get tired easily. I have been acting since I was a child. Usually the camera is the problem, but that’s not what was the case with me. I have done some 80 odd films. Camera and sets are like a second home. But emoting requires fine tuning and it needs confidence. This film has been able to fix my faith in myself.”

The year 2022 has brought much joy to the Kapoor family as her son Ranbir tied the knot with Alia Bhatt in April. There’s a renewed sense of stability in her professional and personal life, says the senior actor. “Work came pouring in once I signed this movie. Some I have said yes to and will start this year. But my life doesn’t depend on work. I am going to do one project and then take a vacation. I am looking for impactful roles and not the usual mother-trope fare. On the home front, I am so happy to see Ranbir and Alia married. I wanted Ranbir to be married before I go. It was a wish to see the person my son will spend his life with. Alia is such a lovely person. Alia and I have a great connection; we give each other space but are always in touch. Riddhima and I have the ritual of having breakfast together on video chat every morning no matter where we are.”

After a chat with her, you’re bound to leave the room with a wide smile on your face. That’s the Neetu Kapoor effect. At 63, her zest for life is contagious. After losing husband Rishi Kapoor to cancer in 2020, the past two years have been hard on her, but she believes in having a positive outlook towards life. The veteran actor has been roped in as a judge on Dance Deewane Juniors. Though she is aware that she may not be on par with co-judges Nora Fatehi and Marzi Pestonji when it comes to shaking a leg, she is not one to be bogged down. Her recent viral video, where she is seen matching steps with Fatehi on Naach meri rani, is a clear example. “I wanted to try it. I cannot [dance] like Nora Fatehi. I got 50 per cent of her steps; the rest, well, I am not as young as her,” smiles Kapoor.

In the past, Kapoor and husband Rishi were often invited on reality shows as guest judges. Now, she is a permanent fixture on the reality show — a role she wholeheartedly welcomed. “I told Marzi and Nora that I won’t eliminate anyone; it’s their job. I’ll leave the technical things to the experts. I am going to be all heart and just love the kids.”

The veteran actor notes that dance in Hindi cinema has evolved over time. “During my days, there was one thumka, one classical style, and the Bhagwan dada dance. Today, one witnesses so many dance styles, from locking and popping to tutting to freestyle. It’s a learning process for me. Irrespective of the dance form, the key is to put your heart in your performance so that the audience can feel your joy.”

One of the prominent leading ladies of the late ’70s, Kapoor left showbiz in 1980 to tie the knot with Rishi and subsequently concentrate on her family. Looking back, she has no regrets about losing the prime years of her career. “I began working as a child artiste. My mother would say that it has become like a job because I had no desire or want [at the time]. At the age of eight, I already had received so much fame, love, and a barrage of awards. Post that, I only wanted to get married and find some peace of mind. I had a demanding husband, and kids to take care of. There was no room for anything else. My husband was always looking for me, so I never wanted to leave him alone.”

Now, she admits things are different. While little can fill the void left by the passing of a partner, Kapoor has rediscovered her passion for movies. “My husband is gone, and my children don’t live with me anymore. There is a vacuum because there is nothing to do. I did JugJugg Jeeyo because I wanted to. The same goes for Dance Deewane Juniors. I want to keep my mind occupied. I don’t want to sit at home and think that he is gone, or think about sad things. I like being in a happy space. I can go on with my life. I am only doing [the show] out of love and desire, because I want to be happy.”

Currently, busy prepping for son Ranbir Kapoor’s wedding with Alia Bhatt. She refuses to divulge details of the upcoming nuptials, claiming that she is “not aware of the dates” as both Ranbir and Bhatt are “unpredictable”. “I feel like [screaming from the rooftops], but they are too private, and I respect that. Alia is the purest form of a human being. There is no negativity in her. She doesn’t think ill of anyone; she is talented, lovely, and beautiful.”

Neetu Kapoor bid adieu to a promising film career following her marriage with Rishi Kapoor at the age of 21. The actress, who returned to the big screen with Love Aaj Kal in 2009, finds herself in the spotlight again – this time, for her television debut with Dance Deewane Juniors and most importantly, her son, Ranbir Kapoor’s marriage to Alia Bhatt next week. Expressing excitement in an interview with BT, she adds that she hopes to share with her bahuthe same outstanding relationship that she shared with her saas, Krishna Raj Kapoor. Excerpts...

Kids are my weakness. I love them. They all dance so beautifully, I get confused while deciding who performed better. The experts in dance are Marzi Pestonji and Nora Fatehi and I enjoy learning from them. We weren’t perfect, but we learnt from our mistakes. Even the public would give us second chances ki yeh film nahi chali toh doosri chalegi. Today, they are trained and perfect. So, you can’t tell who is good and who is bad. Of course, we encourage them. But otherwise, all of them are outstanding and are doing something new. I am learning from them, and it is amazing.

I had no inclination to return to acting, but the makers of Do Dooni Chaar needed me. So, Rishi ji requested me to become a part of the film, which I turned down initially. However, he suggested that I hear the script before I made up my mind. I loved the story, agreed to be a part of it and the film was appreciated by people. I did Besharam because mera ek laalach tha kyunki usme Ranbir aur mere husband dono the. Unfortunately, the film didn’t work at the box office. I wasn’t keen on returning to working, as I was busy. Rishi ji would keep me so busy that I didn’t get time for anything else. However, after my husband passed away, my children (Ranbir and Riddhima) told me to work as they didn’t want me to sit around at home. That’s how I was pushed to do JugJugg Jeeyo and a couple of other shows. I started enjoying the process. I started building my confidence which was zero, when I started shooting for JugJugg Jeeyo. My kids encouraged me to do something. I have also become quite social. I would hardly invite people home or go out. My husband’s friends were my friends. I rarely went out for lunches and dinners. But now, I am socialising all the time, because this is what I want to do now. Life gets too sad and I don’t want to be sad. I want to be happy.

I started working in films at the age of five. I had enough of it by the time I turned 21. I had no life as a child or a teenager. I didn’t have any friends. I would work three shifts in a day and did 80 films in seven years as a heroine. I earned a lot of fame at the age of eight with Do Kaliyaan (1968). Fame bhi mil gayi, sab kuchh mil gaya, so I just desired to have peace of mind then. Back then, acting was like a job for me. I never desired to become an actor. I had to do it for my family. Now, I want to be busy and happy. The only thing I know is to be in movies and that’s what I am doing. More than it being a tool to divert my mind, I am enjoying the process. I derive happiness from it. I enjoy getting ready, meeting people, thinking about the film and learning my lines. I have to put in extra effort in memorizing, as after a certain age, memory thodi weak ho jaati hai (smiles). I remember those days when I would read my dialogues once and give the shot. I was so quick. Even for my dance performances, I would rehearse just once and give the take. There were no rehearsals. Aaj kal toh 10-10 dinn ek gaane ki rehearsal karte hain. I am more excited today as an artiste than I was in those days. I am looking forward to each phase. I want to travel as well.

It takes time to gain the confidence back. Maybe, I am not 100 per cent there, but I am getting there. It has changed me as a person. I have become stronger. I was always strong with my husband, but today, I have to look after my house, finances, etc. Earlier, my husband looked after these aspects, but today I have become the man of the house. So, I have become stronger than I was when my husband was alive, as I was dependent on him. Today I am looking after everything.

I hope ho jaaye. Mujhe kuchh pata nahi hai. I would like to celebrate and say it out loud, but kids today are different. Both of them are private people. Kab kar lenge pata nahi, but hogi zaroor and I wish jaldi ho jaaye because I love them both. Alia is such a lovely girl. I just adore her. She is a beautiful person. Ranbir and Alia are made for each other. They are quite similar. Ranbir is pure-hearted and uncorrupted. He sees things in a positive way. There is no jealousy with anybody or negativity. I see the same quality in her. Both are confident and don’t have bad things to say about anybody — even if somebody’s movie is doing well or is better looking. They complement each other.

I hope I do in the future… when they get married. My relationship with my mother-in-law was outstanding. She loved me more than her son. We were friends. We spoke about everything under the sun, and I would complain about my husband to her (laughs!). We were very open. I hope I have the same equation with Alia because she is also outstanding and amazing.

In a year that tested everyone’s resilience, Bollywood actress Neetu Kapoor coped with her husband’s passing, resumed work after several years and beat Coronavirus at 60+ years in 2020. In an exclusive chat with mid-day, Neetu talks about recovery at her age, going back to work and how yoga and positivity helped her. Neetu said, “There is a little bit of brain fog sometimes. Yoga is helping me come out of that. I did pranayams, anulom-vilom and kapaal bhaarti at least thrice a week to expand the lungs.”

“My gut had a hard time, which can make you feel listless and weak. I would soak leftover rice in half a glass of water overnight and have a spoonful of the water. This builds gut bacteria.”

Neetu doesn’t know how she contracted the virus. “Many others on the set of JugJugg Jeeyo got infected. But I was feeling terribly guilty, so I came back, self-quarantined and after testing negative, in around 10 days, I resumed work. Everyone was young and said that Neetu auntie would need time to recover, but I made it.”

Things were tough initially. “I was being made to quarantine in Chandigarh but I wanted to return. Karan (Johar) arranged for me to be put in a plastic enclosure and transported in a charter air ambulance. At home, my staff would leave my tray of food outside. I was on the floor below, while they were upstairs. My staff was outstanding! They told me they’d rather get COVID than leave me alone. They never took off their masks. In the morning, I would let fresh air come in. Although they were around four or five people, none got infected,” Neetu said.

Neetu did pranayam via Zoom with her guruji daily. “We also did light muscle toning but no cardio. I would listen to music on my headphone or talk to someone while walking for at least 30 minutes every day. I also passed time by watching lots of Turkish shows. I am hooked to them!”

To build her immunity, Neetu had lots of healthy drinks. “I have a disciplined diet, I cannot even do cheat days. I drank lots of kaadhas, giloy (moonseed leaves) water, chai, amla with beetroot and ginger juice. I lost the sense of smell for three weeks. As soon as the smell and taste started coming back, I tested negative. I felt so much relief!”

Neetu added, “The pandemic actually worked in my favour because my family was with me for more than six months. Everybody was spoiling me silly.”

Looking back at her journey, Neetu said, “I had gathered courage to work after Rishi passed away in 2020. I told myself that work would help me get over my grief. It was the only way to get on with life.”

She added, “Though one should never get COVID, but if you get it, deal with it and take good care of yourself. If I can recover at my age, others can too.” The COVID-19 vaccine is the next step for Neetu, who said, “If I have no antibodies tomorrow, I will get vaccinated.”

Neetu Kapoor and Riddhima, tell us why a mother's role is paramount to build character in a child's life

Neetu Kapoor openly confesses, “It's true... I have to make appoint ments to meet my son! I actually do a mental rewind on what I need to discuss with him, when he has time. Both my kids are 'settled' in that sense ­ Ranbir with his career and Riddhima with her marriage and children," she muses, as we settle in her basement parlour for a hot cuppa. Mrs Kapoor has her tea with diet oatmeal biscuits only, and the zero-fat Riddhima Kapoor-Sahni does not even seem to be touching that! Riddhima is keen to chat first, worried that Samara (her 3-year-old daughter) may implode if she doesn't get attention quickly.

“Show us the Suryanamaskar?" asks Neetu of her, and Samara promptly enacts the asana. “Say the Gayatri Mantra?“ Baby obliges. Looking at me laughing, Neetu Kapoor says, “She'll do it all, then she will chant Om Shanti Shanti Shanti, then do some yoga pose."

When you listen to the flawless, super-fit Neetu speak, you realise that while most well-to-do women her age are madly insecure about how gravity and time will impact them, she somehow has it all figured out... with admirable élan. A self-professed `motu teenager when I got films opposite Rishi', Neetu has maintained an under 60-kilo weight for decades now, never once giving in to complacency. “There are a lot of lifestyle diseases which I have seen in my family. Obesity leads to diabetes, blood pressure, gout...so many issues. Cancer may be more complex but lifestyle diseases are entirely in our control. I keep varying my exercise...kabhi zumba, toh kabhi yoga... and when I go on a holiday, I buy the latest exercise equipment," is her quick confession. “Now, I am into Vipr; I keep adding new things from my travels. I go into the garden with my trainer and do the Vipr. We also do TRX. Every day I do one form of exercise. Twice a week with a trainer, thrice a week I do zumba. I have to work out for one hour, daily."

Riddhima is a chip off the elegant block. For decades, Neetu Kapoor's only focus was raising her kids to be good human beings. Riddhima knows that inherently, is grateful for it, but also says she sees her mum as a stylista. “To me mum was always like this style icon, she used to go out to party, wear these sarees, dress up.
We were kids, we always had school the next day, but I loved to watch mom get dressed. I have memories of her visiting Abu and Sandeep's showroom, thinking 'one day when I grow up, I will also wear these types of sarees!'" she smiles, nostalgically.

Having said that, so strong has Neetu's influence been on the kids with healthy ways of being, eating, thinking, that Riddhima has not only kept up this legacy in her own space, but the roles between mother-daughter now seem to be reversed! “Now, I am learning so much from Riddhima. ­ She is so controlled, she has amazing willpower... I am, in fact, asking her to gain weight, not lose weight," says Neetu. “I know that at night she will have just one roti and sabzi. You never see her picking on food through the day. And this is not how the Kapoors are. My husband Rishi... I have not been able to put any of this into his head. Now I have given up. Let him enjoy. For years when he was acting, I used to put him on many different diets... and, in fact, that is how my own understanding grew. He used to be on chemical diets, 11 day diets, he used to skip a lot in those days. Then my focus shifted to the kids... raising them to understand good lifestyle choices."

Riddhima sans make-up, sans fancy clothes, is a paler version of the sporty Neetu. Says she, “Everyone knows how wonderful my mom is as a homemaker. Presently, I live in a joint family in Delhi, but if I had to do things entirely my way, I would do it exactly like mum. Nothing OTT, everything simple, minimalistic. My mom's taste is very classic, elegant, and I lean towards that. She's more earthy. That's her. Colour and all is also not for me.“

Says Neetu, “Imagine for so many years, 24/7, it was just my children and me; how they shape up has everything to do with how much time and energy you invest in your kids. Now when I look back, I see that they both Ranbir and Riddhima are like me. They are nothing like my husband! While raising them, I noticed if I was courteous to somebody, they learned that. How I treated my mom-in-law, is how Riddhima will treat her mum-in-law. If I am overall good with strangers, polite, or throwing tantrums ­ she will mirror that," shares Neetu.