Meena Iyer (BOMBAY TIMES; April 29, 2014)

Everyone knows that when a man has got to go, he has got to go. But Bollywood actors seem to take their peeing obsessions to great heights in reel and real life.

 Just before Jai Ho released in January this year, Aamir Khan posted a photograph of his closest film buddy Salman Khan and him watering some plants. Why the otherwise astute and sensitive Aamir, who is a conscientious citizen, would put up a picture of him peeing in public — unless he did it for fun — is something one didn’t understand. However, the point is that actors, big or small, are all obsessed with their toilet run.

 Ranbir Kapoor was shown watering the sarson ke khet in Besharam in a very besharam manner. And his father Rishi Kapoor regrets his toilet scene in the film and even admitted that it was in poor taste.

 Sunny Deol, we all know, will not take a leak in public because he is painfully shy. If this Jat is shooting on the roads of Mumbai, he drives to the nearest five-star hotel, books a room, and then relieves himself. Bobby Deol is no better. He is so obsessed with his toilet routine that he can cancel a shoot if he hasn’t been able to take a crap peacefully in the morning. And all of Bobby’s friends will tell you that he is constantly complaining about his toilet travails.

Shah Rukh Khan is so shy that he will not use a toilet in anyone’s office/studio. He will only take a leak in his own home/vanity van/office. In fact, SRK will control his pee for hours on end if he is stuck in a traffic jam or in an interview. And he will only relieve himself after he gets to a place that he thinks is appropriate.

Akshay Kumar sees red if he spots anyone peeing on the roadside or kerb. He will stop his car and admonish the guy who is happy to spread disease without a care for the city. We could seriously do with actors like Akshay who not only wish to safeguard Mumbai, but also inculcate good habits.

As we said at the start, when a man has got to go, he has got to go. But surely, all the world is not a stage for pee-play.