Bouncing back to routine post-cancer, Tahira Kashyap on the place of mental health in enhancing her regimen
Sonia Lulla (MID-DAY; September 25, 2019)

Until a bevy of health concerns caught her off-guard, Tahira Kashyap recalls being the most active among her peers. "I was in my school's basketball team, and captain of the girls' cricket team. I was also a runner, and played javelin throw and shot put. When in the gym, I could lift the entire rack of 12 plates of weight when training the lower body. Today, I can barely lift three," says Kashyap, admitting that her morale took a hit following chemotherapy for breast cancer, but it made her resolve to jump back to routine stronger.

Kashyap, who could train with 15 kilo dumbells before the surgery, talks with child-like enthusiasm of graduating to four kilos from the two that she began with, after her treatment. "The surgery involved removing lymph nodes around my right arm, so I've been advised against lifting more than five kilos to prevent inflammation. But, there's nothing stopping me from challenging my lower body. Whether it takes me four months or a year, I will go back to being as strong I was," says Kashyap, who is married to Ayushmann Khurrana. She'd walk for 60-90 minutes, "with my drains", even while undergoing chemotherapy treatment.

For Kashyap, cancer wasn't her first brush with an illness that would change her life. "I've been on a high dose of thyroid medication since college. I recall, following my diagnosis, the doctor told me to not tell anyone about my condition since it would hamper my chances of getting married. As soon as I was out, I told Ayushmann. He said, 'Okay, we'll deal with it, but what is it, anyway?'" Only a day before we meet her, she reveals that she was given a list of foods that she has been intolerant to, for the last 10 years that she has tackled Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

"I'm intolerant to gluten, nuts, eggs, pulses and mushrooms. Also, I'm vegetarian," she says, the irony of her plight not lost on her. But, Kashyap admits, the turning point in her life came after she acknowledged that she had been ignoring her mental health.

"I never treated my body, mind and soul as one entity. I always thought physical health was important, and mental toh kuch hota hi nahin hai. So, I exercised a lot. But I think [the cancer] was a manifestation of the negativity that I had been harbouring. Had I gone to a doctor, I would have been declared clinically depressed. But I chose to cry every night instead of visiting one. I was living a dual life. My husband was shooting; I would spend hours at night crying, and put up the front of a happy person in the morning so that I didn't look like a loser before my children, who were aged two and four then. It was only after I practised Buddhist chanting, and focused on my mental health that things changed. In a way, I'm glad that [I was diagnosed with cancer] at a time when I was strong enough to deal with it."

Without #selflove, Lisa Ray and Tahira Kashyap say they wouldn’t have survived cancer, found humour in bleak disease arithmetic or felt beautiful in radically altered bodies
Aastha Atray Banan (MID-DAY; May 19, 2019)

A small suitcase plump with makeup sits behind a chair at Taj Lands’ End’s House of Nomad. The stylist follows our gaze, and says, “She doesn’t need too much of it.” Lisa Ray is propped up on a high stool, speaking of being comfortable in her new skin. Tahira Kashyap, who has been listening to her, calls her hot in the way that a fan would. Ray cracks up, shaking her arm to prove she has bat wings. “Where? What!” Tahira goes, “She is so hot!” Kashyap has enjoyed the preview excerpt she received of Ray’s memoir, Close To The Bone. She has sent her a text message saying so, which Ray seems to have missed in a barrage of book promotion sessions. “Check your phone, right now!” Kashyap demands.

They stand shoulder to shoulder, peering into the phone screen; Ray in a black drape with a white streak of tie and dye, Kashyap in a white-black polka dotted wrap dress. They are twinning, without realising it. As they speak over milky tea (“I like a little bit of tea in my milk,” says Ray), they discover other connections, including an affinity for practicing Buddhism and thumbing their nose at morbidly bad news.

Ray has an interesting body of work behind her, including Deepa Mehta’s Oscar nominee Water. Kashyap, who directed the well-received Toffee, a short film about unlikely friendships, is married to actor Ayushmann Khurrana, and is working on her feature movie, to be produced by Atul Kasbekar and Tanuj Garg.

They talk a lot, and laugh more, admiring each other’s resilience and commitment to trashing myths around women and cancer. Ray has survived multiple myeloma, a form of blood cancer, which she announced to the world at the red carpet of Toronto International Film Festival in 2009.

Using her fame for cancer advocacy also extends to interviews around the memoir, just as Kashyap has leveraged her public image to document her recovery from ducta carcinoma in situ, since she was diagnosed last September.

mid-day: In the book, you say you asked the doctor if he’d like a glass of water when he revealed the diagnosis, and you didn’t react.
Ray: He looked stressed at my reaction. Maybe he expected me to bawl.
Kashyap: My first reaction was funny. I had been feeling like my right breast was heavy, and had experienced a secretion. The gynaec asked for a mammogram and ultrasound, but the radiologist said, ‘you have calcifications in your breast, but you are just 35 and have two kids. You don’t need it’. He sent me back. The gynaec said it could be a mammary infection, and, to be sure, sent me to an expert who I didn’t know was an oncologist. When I saw oncology written outside the department, I said, ‘WTF!’ Then, the doctor shared data with me.
Ray: Oh my god, statistics!
Kashyap: He said I had a two per cent chance of acquiring breast cancer. After the mammogram, they found more calcifications, and it went to 30 per cent. Then I went for an MRI, and they found a sort of shadow at the back of breast, and it became 70 per cent. It was 90 per cent after the biopsy. It was stage 0 cancer, but aggressive and had spread all over the breast. There were so many people around me when I heard the news. We are conditioned not to react. But when my husband and I were back alone in the hotel room in Delhi, my first reaction was, “Behen****, lag kayi!” And we laughed. But, when I was told I needed a mastectomy, I had no joke handy. Ayushmann made me realise, it’s only remedial treatment. “What’s more important, your life or breast?” I really wanted to say to him, ‘my breast!’ It’s associated so strongly with femininity. But, as we went along, I realised my body doesn’t define me. I got reconstruction surgery, of course, but my view of myself had changed.
Ray: It’s funny what bothers you when you are diagnosed, the little things. I used to cope with it by laughing, and writing. But, what killed me was getting a port [disc and tube transplanted in the chest to connect to a major vein typically for chemotherapy and transfusions]. My veins were hard to find, so this helped. I still have it.
Kashyap: Hey, I had one too! Right here (points to right side of chest). While I was on chemo, I attended a panel discussion where one woman said she had rejected drugs and was using some alternative Chinese herbs. I think that takes balls. My cancer was aggressive and malignant, so I am gald I took the drugs. But I realised that I had very little information and control over how my body worked. I still don’t know whether it’s good to eat one thing or another. I’m off dairy and gluten right now.
Ray: I got over with medication in 2010, and was on maintenance therapy. I wanted to go off drugs completely, but two years later, I had a relapse. I saw it as a sign, that I needed drugs and something else. Because in cancer, no one ever talks talk of nutrition. I went to a retreat in Florida that explores how nutrition can reverse disease. So, suddenly, you have an instruction manual for your body, like you would for a gadget. That was a big takeaway.

mid-day: How did the condition change your notion of beauty?
Ray: Just to be able to live is a win. I had always been deeply affected by the fact that I was defined by beauty. And so, I chose a moment on the red carpet to declare my fight against cancer. I was 40 pounds overweight due to steroids. I said, I am going to fight this, and that moment, broke the spell of the pathology of perfection. The images we see today on social media and in magazines don’t exist. When I started modelling, there was no airbrushing pictures. I posted pictures of myself with no hair, and it didn’t matter. Nothing matters when you are fighting for your life. I am happy now to be who I am, comfortable in this new skin (jiggles her arms and laughs).
Kashyap: You have so much to deal with physically that you try and win the fight mentally. People offered me so much love online, and their validation gave me energy. My parents had freaked out. When I went bald [she grew tired of wigs and decided to come out with a clean pate], my mother said she’d meet me when I had hair back on my head and cut the call. I called her back, this time on Facetime. There is no escaping me. I was resilient when it came to self love. I remember a time a few years ago when I’d be insecure because there were many gorgeous women around my husband all the time, and now I was posing bald on social. I was photographed barebacked, the surgery cut snaking around. I genuinely felt cool. And my practice of Buddhist chanting helped. Strength suddenly kicked in.
Ray: I practice Buddhism too! Tibetan Buddhism. I spent close to six months at a retreat in Dharamshala.
Kashyap: Really? It has helped me immensely. It’s about being happy and I had made up my mind that I would be. I was a negative person three years ago, and I’m not sure how I would’ve dealt with this challenge back then. But Nichiren Buddhism made me stop being the victim.
Ray: My doctor said to my husband, who wanted to know more about the disease after we met, that life expectancy in multiple myeloma was eight years, according to statistics. He was worried. It meant I had four more years to go. This was in 2012. But I wouldn’t believe anything they said. My practice had made me resilient. Everyone should find some sort of practice that resonates with them, and creates a cushion when needed.

mid-day: Lisa says she is wary of the “war imagery around cancer”. But, for you, Tahira, hasn’t it been effective in blunting a disease whose idea can kill before it actually does?
Ray: (Interjects) No, let me explain. Warrior, yes. That’s an incredible imagery. I think that’s really important...
Kashyap: Yes, it’s not really a fight. It’s more about awareness.
Ray: The problem with saying fight is that you are speaking of something outside your body. How can you fight against your own body? That’s not the way forward in healing. The disease is inside you. For me, it was about accepting and building my immune system.
Kashyap: The fight is against taboo and stigma. A very close family member said to me, ‘now that you’ve been diagnosed, don’t speak about it’. I was told by the doctors that women who know about their cancer don’t speak up or seek treatment due to shame. That’s unacceptable. Then, there are those women who will agree to chemo, but not to a mastectomy. What I’m saying is, get your tests done, take caution. Do it for your kids.

mid-day: Lisa has often spoken about working towards reaching a space where she has strength and energy, which she owes the children. Where does motherhood feature in the fight against cancer? 
Kashyap: I never felt something bad was happening to me or that I was going away anywhere, and so that mamta never kicked in! Yes, I was in the hospital for seven days, so I told my children that I was coming back with two stitches. But they had no clue. It hit my son when I went bald, and he asked me not to come in front of his friends. But I did to him what I did to my mother. I came in front of them and said, ‘hello everyone!’ I normalised my condition. The next time he seems someone bald, he won’t think it’s embarrassing or weird.

mid-day: Have there been moments of loneliness?
Kashyap: We are all connected. We need a support system. People are very essential. I value every person I come in touch with now.
Ray: I’d add to that by saying there were so many instances of random kindness that I encountered. It was from people I didn’t even know. And when I’d ask them, what can I do for you, they’d all say, pay it forward. I have tried to do that, make that the theme of my life.


Sufi and Soleil, Ray's children join them. LOCATION COURTESY/TAJ LANDS END COFFEE SHOP, HOUSE OF NOMAD

Aastha Atray Banan (MID-DAY; December 30, 2018)

On September 22, Tahira Kashyap Khurrana, posted on Instagram about being detected with breast cancer. With a picture that showed her in hospital scrubs, and holding surgical drains in both hands, she said, "I was detected with DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my right breast with high grade malignant cells. Simply put stage 0 cancer/pre-cancerous stage, with cancer cells multiplying in a contained area." She got a mastectomy done, but spoke about it in a light-hearted way. "The result? I have become a half, Indian version of Angelina Jolie, who had a double mastectomy."

When we speak to her, she is exactly like the bundle of positivity she comes across on social media. "The other day, my mother said, 'Oh, what a tough year.' And I said, 'No, this has been such a beautiful year,'" says the 35-year-old director, married to actor Ayushmann Khurrana.

"I am so grateful I got detected early. And now, I am getting an opportunity to spread awareness about the disease through Instagram. I know social media can be time-consuming, but I use it selflessly and selfishly. People relate to what I am going through and I am happy I can spread hope, but after hearing so many experiences, I feel better about my life, too."

Khurrana, who also credits her daily habit of Buddhist chanting for giving her strength, thinks that having cancer has helped her know how significant she is. "The world needs me, and you. And despite the chemo, in my head I have already dealt with it." At the end, Khurrana says it's also about relying on your solid foundation, which is family and friends. "I never thought I could be like this. I now know this is my mission - to spread awareness and hope - and I will do the best I can."

Man of the moment Ayushmann Khurrana on being a young dad, life lessons and wife Tahira’s battle with cancer
Deebashree Mohanty (TIMES LIFE; December 9, 2018)

Six years in the industry and quite a few hits to your name... have you arrived?
It’s great to be in that zone where people expect something unique out of you every single time. I am a case study which proves that good scripts need good actors. I am glad that my choices have worked out. It’s a happy feeling that the kind of cinema I endorse has many takers. And I’m over the top that I broke into the 100 cr. club.

How much pressure is there to choose the right script and hope it’ll work?
Earlier, there wasn’t much to choose from. I found nothing exciting for two years after Vicky Donor. Suddenly, with Dum Laga Ke Haisha, I set the ball rolling again. Nowadays, I feel script writers have become uninhibited. The kind of scripts that I am reading are truly unique. I know it is difficult to get a wonderful story/character every single time but we are living in a country where there is no dearth of taboo subjects.

Have you seen any changes in yourself over the years?
I have become wiser for sure. And I am far more confident with my choices. I was very indecisive and was open to 10 opinions from everyone about everything. I had a very “safe” mindset, which was wrong. I have realised that nothing is safe, especially in this industry. Now, I have got the basics right. I go with the best script and then work backwards. I have learnt that the biggest asset of any film is the script.

Do you have a set goal in terms of what you aspire to be in the industry?
My aim is to be a good content creator. I think the future of superstars is to be good content creators more than anything else. It is important to get out of the self-obsession mode.

Your wife Tahira was detected with breast cancer... How are you dealing with this sudden turn of events?
Times like this just show that life is a great leveller. I am on a professional high right now. In my personal space though, we are dealing with my wife’s cancer. We have understood that no one’s life is perfect. Every life has a void and we need to acknowledge that with all positivity. That is what we are doing right now. I am glad that Tahira has taken it all very well. As we speak, she is giving a lecture on cancer in Amritsar. She just had her fourth chemotherapy, but for her life goes on. Her doctors are amazed with the kind of positivity that Tahira has shown – taking flights, giving lectures. Chemo makes you weak, but my wife’s spirit is undeterred.

What about you? This must have taken a toll on you mentally...
This experience has made me immune to both happiness and sadness. It has given me a Zen perspective on life – I don’t become ecstatic, nor do I feel low.

Both of you are strong-minded people. How do the dynamics work in your relationship?
We are like any other couple who have had their share of ups and downs. We have fought, made love and moved on, had our mood swings… but I am glad that most of the times we are on the same page. We have similar sensibilities, which also makes our relationship tick. She gives me a lot of space, I give her a lot of space – in the end it all works out. We are the poster couple of SRK’s one-liner in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: ‘Pyaar dosti hai’. From our geeky tuition days to today, Tahira and I are best buddies first.

How has your relationship evolved?
Honestly, we were like kids when Vicky Donor released. Things weren’t perfect. We were trying very hard to make a long distance relationship work (she was in Chandigarh and me in Mumbai). We were having a lot of problems initially. Mostly, because I had very little time for family and she was learning to cope.

Cut to now, we have matured with age and time. As partners, we have accepted the fact that I will be away for shoots and concerts. This is for our better future and we are both okay with it.

How do you bond with your daughter and son, Varushka and Virajveer?
When I am with them, I become them. I was a father at 27, so I have all the energy to run after my kids and play as much as they would want to. That’s the advantage of being a young parent, growing up with your children. I play cricket and chess with my son who is 6. I bought a piano which my son plays much better than me. My daughter, 4, is busy doing all the girly things with her friends.

So, they are your strengths?
Yes, they have taught me a thing or two about parenting. Because they have mood swings, I have learnt to be more patient. When they fight with each other, I learn the value of being patient and diplomatic. My kids, especially my son, gives me ideas on how to tackle problems too.

If there was one thing that you would like to teach your daughter, what would that be?
More than her, I would like to teach my son to be the perfect man. To be chivalrous, to be a gentleman. We need to teach our sons all this rather than teaching our daughters to stay at home or wear appropriate clothes or sit in a proper way. Daughters are doing fine, we need to teach our sons to do more rights than wrongs. If we all do that, the world will be a better place.

Is the #MeToo Movement the need of the hour?
Absolutely. There should be set rules and guidelines on how to behave in the office space. There should also be a moral compass guiding everyone at home. Harassment is not restricted to the office, it can happen at home too. It is imperative to teach boys from a very young age to respect consent. Movements such as these will act as a deterrent to perpetrators who will now think twice before misbehaving. Having said that, I do think both parties should be given equal opportunities to share their accounts. 

Tahira Kashyap, wife of actor Ayushmann Khurrana, speaks about her recent cancer scare, and how the experience has reinforced her faith in the human spirit
BOMBAY TIMES (November 11, 2018)

On a Diwali trip home in Chandigarh, Tahira Kashyap spoke about her battle with cancer. “I was in a good phase of my life with my first film as director coming up,” said Tahira, speaking about the time when she was diagnosed with the disease. She shared, “One day, I started feeling heavy in one breast. And honestly, I rejoiced thinking finally my size was going up, even if it was at 35! Entire humanity obsesses over women’s breasts, I was no different.”

She credited her actor husband, Ayushmann Khurrana and her best friend of being proactive in consulting a gynaecologist, and spoke about how the DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in her right breast with high-grade malignant cells, (stage 0 cancer/precancerous stage) reiterated her faith in the human spirit. “When the diagnosis was confirmed, my husband and I decided to maintain a happy life state to deal with it. Rather than go home and worry about it, we went to see a movie that evening and then got the date for the operation.”

After a mastectomy, Tahira is currently undergoing chemotherapy as a preemptive measure. “This obstacle has given me a new definition of life — to respect its unpredictability, and have the faith and courage to be the hero of your own life,” she said. Tahira also spoke about how turbulent times test your faith. “Your life and spirit depend on your faith, be it religion, or anything else. It would be crushing for anyone to be diagnosed with cancer, as many months of your life are invested in treatment. Fortunately, I practise Nichren Buddhism, I chant. I feel my faith in chanting — and whatever it is that you have faith in — is put to test during tough times. What has cancer taught me? It has made me a better version of myself. Whatever life throws at us, it is for us to deal with it. I want to be happy whatever the situation, and the best way is to deal with it.”

Tahira summed up her experience post cancer with a quote, “The indomitable resolve to win and defeat any illness lies as much in your mind as in the body. And if you win in the mind, half your battle is won. I told myself, if my body gives up, let me put my wits together and not get scared. The invincible human spirit is Godlike, it gives you the courage to endure and the will to revive. There is nothing that human spirit can’t do.”

Tahira was also flanked by her father Yajan Kashyap, who spoke about how his daughter broke the news to them from Mumbai. “She called and said, ‘There is nothing to worry. If you want, you both (referring to his wife) can come over to Mumbai for a few days’. No one in their lifetime could imagine their daughter getting cancer. And she, like all daughters, is good at hiding her pain from her parents. When we met her, she was smiling and looked so happy that I found it hard to believe that she could have cancer.”

Having decided to fight the battle with positivity, Ayushmann Khurrana says his wife Tahira Kashyap and he went on a movie date hours after her diagnosis
Sonia Lulla (MID-DAY; October 1, 2018)

Two weeks after wife Tahira Kashyap was diagnosed with stage 0 breast cancer, Ayushmann Khurrana sits before us, a picture of calm and restraint, as part of promotions for AndhaDhun. "She was diagnosed on my birthday [September 14]," he tells mid-day with a sheepish smile that marks the irony of the situation.

In being detected with the Big C, Tahira found herself part of the 2.4 per cent of the population that is diagnosed before age 35. They found themselves facing two options — believe they had been dealt a rough hand, or fight it with positivity.

"We had to maintain a happy life state to deal with it. In fact, after we got to know about her condition, we went to see Manmarziyaan that evening. We told ourselves, 'Okay, we've been diagnosed. We can't go home and cry about it. It's better to go for a film.' So, we watched the film, came back and got the date for her operation."

During the week that his wife was hospitalised for her mastectomy, Khurrana would wrap up his work early to be by her side at night. "I went without sleep for seven days. But, we had promised ourselves that we'd maintain a positive attitude. We got to know of the cancer early. So, we decided to celebrate the silver lining."

Tahira had spoken about how changes in her breast size had initially raised alarm for the family. "If any symptoms come up, think of it as a protective force and get yourselves examined," she had shared in a heartfelt note, on Instagram.

Meanwhile, set to essay a blind pianist in AndhaDhun, Khurrana says he turns to his wife when he is unsure about a script. "The primary factor that makes me give [a nod] to a film is if it's entertaining. That married with a one-liner that can describe the story, completes it."

Author-filmmaker Tahira Kashyap, who recently underwent a mastectomy, on coping with the shock diagnosis and urging women to go for regular health check-ups and not hesitate to get a mammogram done
MUMBAI MIRROR (September 26, 2018)

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me and my family. I knew what I was heading into and there wasn’t any denial. After I posted about my surgery which took place on Tuesday, September 18, on social media, I was flooded with love and prayers for which I’m immensely grateful. I recently underwent a mastectomy of my right breast and reconstruction of it using tissues from my back qualifying myself as an Indian version of Angelia Jolie (partly) since only one breast was involved.

Why am I repeating this? Because the doctors, nurses and my friends kept repeating it! Did it encourage me to become a tomb raider, perhaps? No. Did it give me courage that I can survive this too? Yes, it did! So many women, known and unknown, have messaged me that they will get their check-ups done which they have been procrastinating for the longest time. Also, there were those who congratulated me on addressing this taboo. Taboo? I myself was shocked. Honestly what started as an expression for awareness for breast cancer and self love turned out to be a learning lesson for me. This ordeal made me realise many things.

To begin with, getting a health check-up or more specifically a mammogram, is something women or their family members hesitate doing. Some feel if they get the screening done, they might end up getting it. Not true, neither do your breasts have an extra magnetic field of their own nor do they have some centripetal force that they will attract something onto or into themselves. Also, they do not secrete pheromones that cancer will get attracted to. Some get conscious about getting their breasts examined. Hesitation that can cost you your health and life is not worth it. And trust me, the technicians see so many breasts in a day that no matter how much you want to believe, yours still wouldn’t be a rarity. So please take that bra off and let that goddamn machine do its work on them. The feeling or the thought that it can’t happen to me, should be buried. Let’s all of us exercise our wisdom.

Invisible in spirit, yes, but the body does require an overhauling. The responsibility of at least trying to detect it early is completely ours by regular self-examinations and health check-ups. In some cases, there are symptoms, please don’t ignore them. A number of people have asked me about mine. I’m literally dissecting something so intimate with the mission of it being taken in the right spirit and as awareness. I started feeling heavy in my right breast and silly enough, I was happy about it. I didn’t know what I had done right that the Gods became generous and my one breast decided to grow at the age of 35. But the same wasn’t happening to my left. I waited patiently for a couple of days, waiting for lightening to strike and the miracle to happen for the left one too. No such luck!

I had once heard that if you talk to your plants, they grow. Breasts are no different. They grow, become ripe and full and then droop. So, I had long monologue sessions in the bathroom, waiting patiently for my left breast to grow too, leaving me pretty disappointed. Before I could search the internet about how to grow the size of only one breast, I started getting a secretion. That did it! Sir Google could wait. My husband (actor Ayushmann Khurrana) took this even more seriously. So, we went to see the doctor, who is the best thing that happened to me in this entire ordeal. He recommended scans and tests, one after the other, that lead to me being detected with high grade DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma IN Situ). Simply put, cancerous malignant cells multiplying in a contained area. This is also called a precancerous or Stage 0 breast cancer. In fact, the first time I was recommended the mammogram, the radiologist turned me away saying you are 35 and since there isn’t any family history of sorts, you don’t require this X ray. But my doctor’s wisdom prevailed, he insisted. The results threw him off too.

From under a 2 per cent chance of contracting this disease, I went up to a 30 per cent after a mammogram to a 70 per cent after an MRI and finally a 95 per cent after getting the biopsy done. This kind of promotion during my college days would have helped me skip the endless, tortuous, mundane microbiology classes where the microbes would grow at the speed of someone’s hair growth undergoing a hair fall treatment using homeopathy. Also, this kind of jump in the budget of my upcoming film would make me travel with my pillow in first class. But what the hell, at least I got some promotion in life!

It’s only because I got these tests done that we could catch it at a precancerous stage. And a breast to pay for is really a small price. Whether you are at a precancerous stage or are battling with it, lets strive to keep our spirits indomitable. Just a few weeks ago, I read Sonali Bendre (right)’s post and the amazing life condition she exhibits. At that point, I hadn’t discovered about my own condition. After reading her post, I made a mental note to emulate the high life state and the invincible spirit that she has. Well the time to do the same came much sooner.

Another thing that I came to know through messages, posts and the doctors is that patients tend to go through the blame game. Of course, this isn’t my fault. No sir, no way. Cancer can happen to anyone, there isn’t any reason behind it. You don’t bring it onto yourself and there is no shame in exhibiting courage if you have. If at all, it enlightens others to not take life callously and deal with it without begrudging. Unconditional love and support from family and friends can really help those enduring this not-so-pleasant experience. And above all self-love.

I believe each one of us has a unique mission and are significant beings. By not loving ourselves, we are not giving due importance to the lovely unique mission that our life has for us. Like I mentioned in my Instagram post, there is nothing that the human spirit can’t achieve and there is nothing in the world that can defeat it. Each one of us has our own struggles, mine being the most serious one now. You see what I am facing right now is that one part of my chest feels like a nouveau riche with a fair amount of newly acquired wealth while the other humble part is trying to keep it’s chin up by claiming “I am the original one.” Which one am I going to prefer? The left or the right, is a dilemma that I’ll have to deal with.

Tahira Kashyap starts filming her directorial debut from February 2019


With actor-husband Ayushmann Khurrana