This International Women's Day, team Times Life celebrates women who live by their rules, make their own and just dare to dare
TIMES LIFE (March 8, 2020)

A woman’s life is a litany of rules: be a lady, be the nurturer, be everything anyone wants her to be – but herself. But each moment, there’s a woman cocking a snook at patriarchy. She breaks free and dares to dare. And just like women – daring comes in different sizes. For some it’s a short haircut, for others, it’s coming out. For a few it’s saying no to a toxic relationship. A short dress, a red lipstick, a late-night stroll – daring is anything that makes you step out of your comfort zone. It’s Meghan Markle refusing Royalty, it’s Jennifer Lopez wearing ‘that’ dress at 50, it’s Greta Thunberg choosing to stay out of school. Closer home, it’s the women of Shaheen Bagh. It’s Mary Kom, who refuses to go quietly in to the night. It’s grand dame Rekha who lives by her rules. It’s the woman sitting next to you in the Metro who steps out to work even though her in-laws object. The woman driving a cab. It’s the girl posting about body stereotypes. And it’s you, who is reading this, because inside all of us there’s a quiet revolution resting. All it takes is one moment, a small step for a woman – but a giant leap for womankind.

This issue celebrates women who have challenged norms in their own little way and are now inspiring others to just break free and say “Why not?” Because the only thing that stops you is ‘you’.

“I won’t say my story is unconventional but it should be celebrated”: Neena Gupta, actor
Why she’s here: At 60, this powerhouse performer is changing rules of how “women her age” should be

I am a regular woman with a mind of my own. I have a problem with the word – “strong” or “bold” or “daring”, which are media constructs. I have seen that a strong woman is often seen as “the bad woman” in India. I have always been called that but in reality, I am vulnerable and honest. So much so that thanks to this tag, I always landed vampish or single woman roles! I had to ask directors for ordinary, gareeb woman roles (laughs).

BEING A SINGLE MOTHER
I am often asked how I managed to be a single parent (to Masaba) at that time. People always ask: “Yeh kaise kiya?” But I tell them that in India, there are so many poor women who are forced to be single mothers. The only difference was that I did it by choice. It was tough and I wanted to do it. But I’d like to point out that it’s one thing to live an independent and free life, it’s another to have a misplaced notion of “independence”. Women have to consider all aspects before taking a decision – especially one that involves family.


“You have to be your own hero”: Taapsee Pannu, actor
Why she’s here: For telling strong female stories and backing it up with sharp talk

Last time, I had written a longish blog for an online portal celebrating women and their success. A lot of women commented, “Every day should be women’s day”. I will simply say, if this day is supposed to mark a change, let’s consider it. A lot still needs to change in the way society looks at a woman. A lot of issues need to be sorted. There is no problem in dedicating a day to mark the beginning of this change. Today, I would want all women to take this pledge: Don’t wait for the police or the government to come and save you. I know we show it in films all the time, but that is not how it happens in reality. You have to be your own hero, be responsible for your own safety.

I have been raising my voice in my own way for years; especially, since I have acquired the status of being a celebrity. I would like to urge other celebs to come forward and do the same. It hasn’t been a rosy road for me. I was once told to slash my remuneration because an actor’s market value had come down. I was thrown out midway from another film because the producer said his previous film bombed and he couldn’t change the hero or cut his pay! But all this comes with the territory. Is this going to alter the way I am or the way I think? No. Frankly, as women in business, you just have to be thick-skinned.


“I was born to take up challenges”: Richa Chadha, actor
Why she’s here: Vocal, opinionated, powerhouse performer, she shakes status quo on and off work

I have an aversion towards these so called “smart” coinages like ‘power women’, ‘strong women’. These words mean nothing. Being a woman is synonymous with being powerful. So, why give it another adjective? I have done many things which typically don’t fall in my comfort zone because I was born to take up challenges. But when I did that stand-up act towards the later half of 2019 – that was really pushing myself. Did I regret it? Hell, no! In today’s day and age, all that matters is how you make yourself heard. The only way to deal with everyday sexism is to speak up – and support women who speak up.


“Dare can also be doing small things differently”: Suzanne Bernert, actor
Why she’s here: A German-born actor, she decided to come to India, learn the language and work here – all after one visit

Women dare to do things differently every day. A dare can be a challenge to do small things in a different way. It’s not just the big things. In my life, I have done quite a lot of ‘daring’ things – like going to auditions at universities at age 14. I was scared yet determined. Then packing up and moving to India to pursue a career here after just one visit and one TV show. How do you dare? Well, you go with the gut feeling. Women in every generation have their own dares. If it scares the hell out of you but also excites you then you should do it. Not blindly or foolishly. Keep your wits.

But you have only this life. You live in your own skin. No one can live your life for you. So you might as well jump!


“I could dare to dream as I was told that dreaming isn’t only for boys”: Sania Mirza, tennis player
Why she’s here: The face of Indian women’s tennis, she questions stereotypes women athletes are subjected to – time and again

The biggest lesson I have learnt is that of equality. My parents have instilled in us the strong fundamental belief that girls can achieve anything. It (our being girls) makes zero difference to them and it shouldn’t make any difference to anyone in the world. There were a lot of people who used to tell my father back then: “You have two girls, no one to carry forward your lineage.” And my answer to them was – I will always be a Mirza because it is something that has been given to me by my parents. And my child will take my surname along with my husband’s name. As my sister and I grew older, we had the freedom to make our decisions. Our parents trusted us enough to give us that independence and respect it. There is no point giving someone the freedom to decide and then telling him/her “Sorry it doesn’t work that way”.

This concept of role division according to gender is alien to me. It was never defined in my house that a man will do this and the woman will do that. My mother was a businesswoman and an equally good homemaker. She never said she wanted to sacrifice her career for raising kids. The same is the case between Shoaib and me. We do whatever comes to us naturally. For instance, I have no interest in cooking while he is a good cook. And we are both not judged for it.


“It takes daring every day to face your fears and anxiety”: Malini Agarwal, entrepreneur
Why she’s here: Single-handedly built an entertainment media brand from a blog

I think the most important thing for any woman is having the courage to believe in herself. Women grow up with less confidence than they should due to social conditioning, unattainable standards of beauty and an unhealthy dose of patriarchy. It takes the courage to push yourself forward, even when you don’t entirely believe in yourself, or when you are afraid you will fail. Being a daring woman doesn’t mean you have to scale mountains. It means giving yourself a chance when you don’t think you have or deserve one. I think my most daring moment came when I decided to up and move to Mumbai in 2000 with nothing to my name – hardly any money in the bank and probably one friend in the city. I suffered (and still suffer)

from crippling stage fright, adult acne and the fear of rejection. Overcoming that has taught me that if you work hard with your heart in the right place, you are bound to succeed.

As told to Nupur Amarnath, Nona Walia, Deebashree Mohanty, Haimanti Mukherjee 

It took three sari-drapers and innovative makeup strategies for Suzanne Bernert to turn into the UPA chairperson in The Accidental Prime Minister
Anjana Vaswani (MUMBAI MIRROR; February 10, 2019)

The courier delivery man at the door stares at Suzanne Bernert. It appears as if he is trying to place her, locate her in some sort of context. Has he unwittingly stumbled upon some secret Mira Road hideaway of the United Progressive Alliance, a chamber that somehow also doubles as a time machine? And, is the woman before him, a younger — if, inexplicably, blonde — Sonia Gandhi? Stuttering, he summons the courage to ask the tall foreigner if she’s an actor, and then, of course, comes the selfie request. Bernert complies with a smile. The actor, who happened to find her way into the Indian entertainment industry somewhat serendipitously, has been in Mumbai for 14 years, and has acted in some 24 TV shows, including some Balaji Telefilms productions, and two Bengali films. But it’s her recent role as Sonia Gandhi in The Accidental Prime Minister that has brought her real recognition.

“The reaction is interesting, because I have played Sonia Gandhi before, too,” says Bernert. Bernert, who is in her 40s, plays both a younger Sonia as well as the mature politico who is shown giving PM Manmohan Singh much to fret about through the two consecutive terms that the Congress-led UPA was in power. But, indeed, Bernert first essayed the role of the UPA chairperson in the 2014 miniseries 7 RCR. The German national’s journey — she hails from Detmold, near Hanover — to Bollywood started with her being approached by a line producer for a Hindi movie when she was holidaying in Dubai in 2005. While that movie was never released, Bernert moved to India, met her husband, actor Akhil Mishra, and stayed back, acting in plays and television series.

“I had a few lines of dialogue in 7 RCR, but they may have been edited out of the version that aired,” says Bernert who learnt Hindi on the fly, through her interactions with Mumbaikars. When she speaks, she switches automatically between English and Hindi, which now comes as naturally to her as German, French and Italian.

But being Sonia meant speaking a different brand of Hindi altogether. “I had played Queen Helena in Chakravartin Ashoka Samrat (2015 TV drama), so I was familiar with that very formal sort of Hindi,” says Bernert. Mishra, who she married shortly after she moved here, was a great sounding board for her dialogue practice, and it didn’t take her too long to master Gandhi’s pitch and intonation. “She has a distinct way of saying ‘Can-gress’, ‘party’, ‘Rahool’. I knew that if I could just hit these, the effect would be complete.” Bernert says that she is not a political animal, and does not follow it thoroughly. “Indian politics is overwhelming, and I’m just a German chick,” she says, throwing her hands up.

Bernert also scoured the internet to find a clip of Gandhi speaking Italian, “but I couldn’t find a single one,” she says, with a laugh.

While the accent and language came easily to her, the role did pose other challenges. “I’ve learnt Hindi, Marathi, and even Lavani, but I don’t know how to tie a sari,” says Bernert, whose audition tape on YouTube shows her draped in her mother’s shawl. Three stylists were entrusted with the task of getting Sonia’s sari drape just right. “And there was one dedicated hairstylist who had to ensure that my wig flicked out at the ends, just so.”

Then, her jaw also needed some widening, and her skin needed to reflect decades of experience. “They tried to use a gummy substance, and then tried stuffing cotton into my mouth, and I tell you, I don’t know how Marlon Brando did it — but it was impossible to speak,” says Bernert. “Then, exercising typical Indian jugaad, a young makeup artist cut pieces of makeup sponge and stuck those on — that had the broadening effect and made the jawline sag.”

The toughest part for her, however, was that each scene had to be shot first in Hindi, then in English. “It causes a hop and a jump in the brain,” says Bernert, who’s also still trying to wrap her head around how people recognise her as the woman who played Sonia Gandhi. “I don’t think I look like her,” she says.