If you’re wondering why Shama Sikander takes her time to give her nod to a project, it’s because she seeks substantial projects. The actress, who transitioned from television to the big screen years ago, was last seen in Bypass Road (2019).

Regarding her absence from the screen, she explains, “A few projects I had signed couldn’t take off due to the pandemic and some were shelved because of market shifts. I have committed to a couple of projects and am waiting for them to kick off. In the meantime, I am occupied with commercials and endorsements.”

Acknowledging the uncertainties in the profession, she believes it can often catch you off guard but ultimately make you stronger. She says, “A long, often unintentional gap following a busy schedule can be testing. During this period, I have gained valuable insights about myself and started valuing myself more. I joined the industry in my teens when one tends to believe everyone and every opinion around due to inexperience. Over time, I learnt to listen to my inner voice. While I was always selective about work, I have become more conscious about my choices because I realize that cinema is a powerful influencer.”

She adds, “I don’t want to sell myself short. I have declined several shows that required me to use unnecessary foul language. Some shows incorporate intimate scenes purely for the numbers. I am fine with everything if they are an absolute requirement in a script and are done aesthetically. But I won’t do it just for the sake of chasing trends.”

While discussing the excessive use of profanity and intimacy in certain shows, the conversation shifts towards Maaya, a story involving BDSM, in which she portrayed the title role. Is it surprising for people when she rejects offers on those grounds?

“Sabki himmat nahi hoti hai bolne ki (laughs!). Maybe, they wonder ‘Maaya toh kar liya, phir yeh kyu nahi kar rahi hai’. Maaya was my experiment as an artiste, and I am proud to be a part of that show. Also, there was nothing even remotely vulgar in it,” she replies.

A talked-about project often leads to similar offers. Shama agrees and says, “Perceptions are formed after every project. I experienced something similar after my TV show Yeh Meri Life Hai when I was only considered for girl-next-door characters. People couldn’t envision me as someone who could look hot. Today, those same people call me ‘hotness ki dukaan’. Ab aisa ho gaya hai ki yeh kaise girl-next-door lagegi. I won’t repeat myself by accepting a similar role just because the previous one was successful. I aspire to experiment and explore different roles and genres like thriller, comedy, and drama. I completely understand those who don’t have a choice and I have been in that position, too. I have also taken on projects in the past to sustain myself. However, today I am at a stage where I can afford to be selective because I believe I deserve better.”

Shama Sikander is excited that she will celebrate her first Eid after she tied the knot in March this year, with businessman James Milliron. “Eid has always been an integral part of my life, since childhood. I used to fast a lot before, and look forward to getting eidi. That is what children want! Since it’s my first after wedding, so we are excited to host our loved ones. So this time, I am looking forward to giving eidi — it’s a total shift,” says the actor.

The 40-year-old says the celebrations will start in the morning, with her entire family and friends invited. “We will organise a lunch. Everybody will wake up early in the morning, go for Eid prayers, and break the fast after it. My mum and my whole family will cook delicious delicacies, and then come to my house. I love the kebabs. The one thing I never fail to do on every Eid is eating sheer khurma and biryani! I don’t cook, that isn’t something I do. I don’t enjoy it (cooking) as much, I am more of an eater,” she adds.

Does her husband also take a keen interest in the rituals or how the festival is celebrated? “We both were very religious at one point, now we are totally into spirituality. We respect everybody who does it, goes for iftar. We have iftar at our home as well. But we don’t do any religious activities anymore. It just happened, it was a conscious decision,” Sikander signs off.

As someone who has battled depression and bipolar disorder, Shama Sikander has been very vocal about mental health issues. But the actor laments how the topic gains prominence only when there’s a crisis like the current pandemic.

“Even during the last lockdown in 2020, everyone spoke about mental health because they suddenly realised its importance. The moment the lockdown ended, everybody forgot about it... it’s not going to work,” she rues.

Pointing out how the discussion around mental health came back in focus only after the second wave of Coronavirus hit the country, the actor insists we need to talk about it on a day-to-day basis. “I’ve recently seen big celebrities resume the dialogue around mental health. Suddenly, it has become the talking point. But I’ve been talking about it all year long. It should be talked about all the time, lockdown or no lockdown, pandemic or no pandemic,” she says.

Sikander, 39, feels every person must ensure that people around them are doing fine during these testing times. “You just get busy with worldly things and think that you’re fine. But you’re not. You need to heal. People are suffering from within. I wonder when we are going to realise that mental health is the most important thing, and not just during the tough times,” she adds.

As for herself, the actor is using this time to heal and meditate to keep dark thoughts at bay, something that she recommends others to do as well. “I’m a very spiritual person and I’ve been meditating more and more over the past year. It has made me more accepting of this situation. The catastrophe has happened for us to realise how fragile life is and how we need to stop and understand the value of life and what it is offering us,” she concludes.

Having been trolled for her ‘changed’ looks, the Yeh Meri Life Hai actress Shama Sikander says that although she doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone, yet for the record, she hasn’t gone under the knife. “There is no plastic surgery involved in my case. I don’t know why people say I got plastic surgery done, when it is just cosmetic procedures. When people saw me I was a growing up girl. So certain physical changes were still going on. But from now on if I change completely then you tell me,” says Shama, who looked quite unrecognizable sometime back when she posted a 10-year challenge picture on her social media handle.

“I work out right, I eat right and I meditate, so the change on my skin is also because of this. People didn’t see me for so many years when I had gone out of the industry and was going through depression. I have taken botox treatment but that doesn’t come under the category of a corrective surgery. I have not gone under the knife. At the same time, people shouldn’t be bothered at all if any actor or actress is going for plastic surgery. At the end of the day, it is their hard earned money. People can of course have opinions, but trolling I don’t understand. Trolls rarely affect me now, all thanks to the meditation that I practice on a regular basis. That helps me keep calm.”

Coming back to the professional front, Shama was last seen in the TV show Baal Veer. “My television journey has been phenomenal. I was a teenager when I entered the industry. I have grown up here. A large part of my life has been spent here,” she said.

Of all the battles that a person fights, the toughest is perhaps the one against ill-health, be it mental or physical. What adds to it is the social stigma, especially regarding mental illnesses. The fight is harder for celebrities, for the fear of being judged is even more. However, Shama Sikander is a fighter and a winner. The actress has no qualms saying that she was on a forced two-year break after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. There came a point when she even attempted suicide.

She elaborates, “I started finding conversations boring. I didn't want to meet anyone and stopped liking myself. Everybody I met during that phase was bored of life. My career and love life added to the stress. I wasn't eating or looking right. This can't be overnight; I am sure it must have been accumulating since several years.“

It was her ex, Alexx O'Neil, who first realised that she needed medical intervention. Shama recalls, “Alexx, who has a degree in Psychology, suspected that I had bipolar disorder and advised me to consult a doctor. But at that time, I didn't want to get cured; I just wanted to give up. Though my life was going great, I was bored of it; nothing would impress or excite me. I even tried to commit suicide one night. I kissed my mother good night and told her not to wake me up. After that, I swallowed several sleeping pills at one go. Just before slipping away, I texted my brother my bank account details, which made him panic. He immediately called my mother to check on me and I was rushed to the hospital three hours later.“

She adds, “I was angry with my family for saving me. I wanted to go and return as a new person. I didn't see death as the end; rather, it was the beginning of a new life. I didn't know that a rebirth was possible in the same life. But slowly, my soul awakened and I realised that it was a spiritual calling.“

The path to recovery, she says, was not easy. “Like many others, my parents too thought that I was possessed because they didn't have any idea about bipolar disorder. If you know about it, you will not judge others. I have always been well-behaved and responsible, so I wouldn't react in public. Only my family saw my extreme reactions. I would leave a party the moment I felt like snapping at someone. I didn't want to lose self-control in public and the fact that I couldn't check my emotions bothered me,“ she explains.

It was during this phase that she snapped ties with Alexx. Shama says, “I was not able to take any more stress; I felt burdened not just by him, but also my family and friends. I realised that I had to let go despite loving him truly and deeply.“

Eventually, medication and meditation helped her pull through. Shama, by her own admission, is happier today. “My condition didn't improve even after two years of medication, but when it did, I started looking at life with a new perspective. Now, I seek joy in small things and make a conscious effort to befriend people. I have become more open and receiving. I want to share my story so that people will know that it's okay to be messed up,“ she says.

The actress is equally candid about her changing looks over the years. “Everybody is looking for a quick-fix solution, but I have not undergone any surgery. When there are fillers available, why do you need surgery? There was a time when I considered liposuction, but when the doctor explained the procedure to me, I dropped the idea. It took me two years to get back into shape. The change in me came from within. I think good thoughts, which is why I look better now,“ she signs off.