It’s not easy balancing career with motherhood, but Neha Dhupia is managing it well. The actress, who is a mother of two, shares, “It’s a sea change once you have children. If you think you’re going to find your balance after becoming a mother of two toddlers, you’re living in a mythical world. My parents are at home looking after my children while I’m out working. Working mums get judged all the time — I’ve had people ask me questions at events. You are subjected to these jabs constantly. If you’re with your kids for two hours, give it 100 per cent. If you’re at work for eight hours, give it 100 per cent.”

Talking about what inspires her to work for women’s empowerment through initiatives like Freedom to Feed, Neha says, “When we had our first child, I slipped into postpartum depression, and I didn’t even know how to address it. I wish there was a simple form for new mums asking about their mental health. Therefore, I started this community. Today, we have thousands of mothers with us. We get experts to talk about their life stories and mums can learn from them.”

On another note, addressing the invasiveness of pap culture, Neha shares a disturbing incident. “Once an elderly lady filmed me sleeping on a flight. I was frightened when I woke up. People should have boundaries,” she says.

However, she’s candid about the relationship between actors and visibility and adds, “We also want to put ourselves out there, right? Being there, being visible, it’s a big part of what we do. When did we suddenly become camera-shy? This is what we do — we love the camera. How’s the camera ever going to love us back? That’s our medium to the world.”

She adds, “I have utmost respect for paps in Mumbai. When our children are there, they ask if I want them clicked. You’ll never see any pap photos of my kids because they respect my children. If there’s misrepresentation or AI involved in projecting me in the wrong way, I will speak up.”

Actor and mother of two, Neha Dhupia, is making headlines for her significant weight loss — shedding 23 kilos in one year. The actor reveals that her weight-loss transformation has not only impacted her physical well-being but also rejuvenated her career.

“I feel so much better, especially in a profession where physical appearance matters a great deal. But, I have always embraced who I am,” she reflects. Despite the push for inclusivity, there’s still a preference for fit actors. “Professionally, I’ve noticed an increase in offers, and I feel and look better in my clothes,” Dhupia says.

The 43-year-old reveals that each of her pregnancies led to a substantial weight gain — around 23–25 kgs — well above the typical 17 kgs mark.

“After Mehr (her daughter, born in 2018), we went into lockdown. I eventually lost the weight as we were at home, and I could work on a deficit (diet). I lost that weight, but then I got pregnant again [this time with my son Guriq, born in 2021],” she explains. “It was a crazy span of four years, where I lost and put on weight time and again.”

Dhupia shares that her weight-loss journey didn’t start immediately after delivery: “I breastfed both my children for a year, which kept my appetite high and energy levels low. It wasn’t until a year ago that I really committed to exercise and a proper diet, shedding a total of 23 kgs since then.”

Discussing her regimen, she explains, “I enjoy running and occasionally hit the gym. I’ve cut out sugar, fried foods and gluten.”

For actor Neha Dhupia, self-love has played a central role in her life. But the turning point was when she became a mother. “I’m baffled by the beauty of how my body changes when I become a mum. Yes, postpartum bodies are a real thing and you have to own up to it. Just like how every body is different, similarly, every postpartum body is also different,” she tells us during a shoot with HT City Showstoppers.

Motherhood is known to come with responsibilities and less time to look after oneself. But for Dhupia, the chapter helped her elevate her style. “When you are in your 20s, you are looking around and following trends. But I feel like once you are in your 40s, you get very comfortable in your skin. My current style is comfortable and mildly androgynous because I like collars. I prefer basic and tone-on-tone palettes. But every once in a while, I shock myself by wearing fuchsia pink. With motherhood, my style has become practically fashionable but it hasn’t drastically changed. When I’m with my kids, a classic white shirt, a pair of denims and shoes are my go to,” adds the 43-year-old.

Dhupia, a mother of two, is not one to shy away from sporting grey hair. “I was born with a birthmark on the left side of my head so I had grey hair since then. I never coloured it because I didn’t see anything wrong with the fact that I had a natural grey streak. It is just that people have started taking note of it now,” the Sanak (2021) actor explains.

She feels that self-love does not come from being selfish, but from being selfless. “You’re a better person when you indulge in yourself a little bit. There should be no guilt or sorrow in taking time out for yourself because you’re just working towards being better,” Dhupia continues.

Accepting one’s body, according to her, is a long journey. “Over time, you learn how to love your body and live in it. Strangely, in most cases, a lot of people learn how to do that much later in life,” she wraps up.

Why is it expected that only a mother should take care of her child? What about the father? This is what actor Neha Dhupia wants to know. She and her husband, actor Angad Bedi, are parents to two children: Meher, three, and Guriq, one. And she finds it “problematic” when certain people think that it is only her duty to take care of the kids.

“A significant shift in mindset is required. When my daughter was born, my husband and I were both working. When everyone saw him, they asked, ‘What are you wearing and expecting this evening?’ And when they would look at me, they’d ask, ‘Where is the baby? Who is watching over her?’ What happens is that society blows it out of proportion when the father does it [takes care of the child],” says the 42-year-old, who recently appeared in the short film Good Morning, wherein she is seen playing a mum who is juggling her personal and professional life. 

However, she is relieved that such questions do not arise in her relationship as Bedi shares equal parenting responsibilities. “We don’t even have these conversations that revolve around equal parenting because we are on the same page,” says Dhupia, adding, “When I was coming for this interview, Guriq made a face, so I signalled to Angad, ‘You need to take over’. And it was as if he had his autopilot mode on as he took over.”

Actor Neha Dhupia doesn’t worry about people obsessing over her weight or the few extra kilos that she gained after giving birth to her children. She believes there is no rhyme or reason to getting upset over her own body because of the judgement of a stranger online or in real life.

Opening up about her relationship with her body, the mother of two says, “It is ever changing. The requirements that I had for my body when I was starting out were different. When I started working in films, it was about maintaining my fitness and looking good on camera. Now, I have played a part when I was eight months pregnant. It doesn’t get more vulnerable than that.”

But has she ever been uncomfortable with her body? The actor shares, “Maybe during my postpartum phase, maybe during my first shot, but then how can I hate this body? It has given me two amazing humans. This body made me a beauty queen, and later a mother. I have to like it both ways. It took a long time for me to understand and respect that. I’m working out and working towards achieving a certain look again with my body. I am in the middle of that phase after giving birth.”

Dhupia continues, “People are always going to have opinions about me. But I’m not going to get upset with my body just because somebody else thinks that it’s not of a particular size. My reason for being that size is best known to me, and I don’t think I need to explain anything to anyone.”

The actor, who was last seen in A Thursday, adds, “Even if I wear skinny jeans and a tank top and come out, they will still have an opinion. I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I don’t have the time or the bandwidth to deal with trolls. I’m not here to do anything except for setting realistic standards for myself and for everyone else.”

Neha Dhupia makes a strong case when asserting that the narrative around post-pregnancy weight needs re-evaluation. Pointing out that it’s never appropriate to discuss weight-related matters with women who have recently delivered, Dhupia says, “Post pregnancy, you need to have the right kind of diet. There is so much pressure on women [to lose weight]. Also, those in the limelight have made the mistake of [creating this image] for other women who have just given birth. Giving birth, breast feeding, and dealing with the postpartum body is [challenging]. When you’re in the public eye, and promote [the notion of losing weight too soon], it has a trickle-down effect for other women who have recently delivered. So, stop talking about how much you have lost.”

In a bid to lose weight, Dhupia followed a nutritious diet, while being in a calorie deficit. “After giving birth the first time, I lost 25 kilos, but then became pregnant again. Now, as I resume training, I feel fitter than I ever have. I don’t think I could walk endlessly in my 20s or 30s. Today, I can carry both my kids in my arms and walk for hours. That has happened because I fuelled my body correctly [while losing my post-partum weight].”

However, it took the actor a while to understand that she needed to reassess her routine. Admitting that she did not feel as physically adept as she desired for a while, she decided to “do something about it”. “For me, that realization happened after 10 months, but if another woman decides to do it after 18 months, that’s also alright. You will realize that you perhaps want to run as fast as your toddler does, and then decide to get fitter, and that is alright. For me, it was as simple as wanting to be fit enough to carry both my kids for long hours, and picking up stuff from the ground without needing to put them down. Post pregnancy, the two things that I learnt were that a large part of [losing post-pregnancy weight] is not about eating less, but changing the kind of food you eat to consume a more nutritious diet. Also, during this time, people focus on yoga, but, apart from that, working on the muscles of the core, and strength training are two factors that really helped me.”

Dhupia’s athletic background introduced her to a gamut of sports, early on in her life. During childhood, she would wake up early to cycle to school each day, and would actively participate in sports like basketball and swimming. Her weekends involved outdoor activities like trekking and jogging. And it was only when she began a career in the industry that she began to hit the gym. “At the time, there was no concept of [different body types]. Everyone had to have the same shape, which was ‘thin’. I achieved that without starving myself, but by staying fit. People say the influence of food and exercise on an ideal fitness plan is in the ratio 70 to 30. I reversed that, because I enjoyed exercising. In my 20s, I learnt new things, like pilates, and kick-boxing, which made my body stronger. In my 30s, I took to running, and ran several marathons.”

Individuals who’ve spent decades on a fitness journey could often point to instances that redefined their approach to their regimen. For Dhupia, learning to run marathons rather late in life (in her 30s) was that turning point. “I have trained with one of the finest runners, Brinston Miranda. My yoga trainer is someone who has trained from the Benaras school. So, all my trainers are knowledgeable, and traditional in their approach. I like to follow the orthodox methods of training. Running is a pretty [cohesive] format. To pull off a marathon, you need to stretch well, and focus on rehab. You also need to train your core to be able to pull off 22 kilometres, and also cover an average of 35 kilometres a week. I have travelled to so many parts of the world, and [while on holiday] love to wake up early, and head for a run.”

Angad and I are extremely mindful of our diet. We don’t have sugar, and masala, and have minimal salt. Snacks include fruits or makhana, or cookies made without gluten. There is enough protein in our diet. He has a cheat day, but I don’t need one now.

At the recently held Miss India contest in Mumbai, former Miss India, Neha Dhupia was felicitated on stage. It was a night of many firsts—the first time that former Miss India Neha Dhupia’s father saw her being crowned. The first time her children were seen on a public platform. The first time her parents, her husband and children were on stage with her. For Dhupia, 20 years after being crowned Miss India 2002, this was a joyous moment she could not describe in words.

We meet her on a rainy Tuesday afternoon to talk about her journey over a cup of black coffee, and are charmed by her effortless style. In a freewheeling chat, she speaks about body acceptance, her choices of work, of being a relevant outsider to the film industry, and yet being relevant, and how she became one of indie cinema’s most recognized names.

The Miss India crown gave Dhupia a reason to always have her chin up. This time though she looked and felt different, and another sense of achievement loomed. The atmosphere was as euphoric as it was 20 years back; only now she had a personal army and a team behind her. “When you win Miss India, it’s a stamp of approval that you’ve worked hard on something. Being re-crowned 20 years later is a moment of joy. I thought I was prepared for it, but when I saw a clip of friends I’ve had for 20 years talking about it—I got a little fuzzy,” says Dhupia, who felt this was an appropriate moment to bring her children on stage (they are shielded from the media). “In all probability, they will ask where they were—[I] can’t tell them ‘You were fast asleep on the most important day of my life’. We will withdraw into privacy with them, but just to be able to wear that crown, hold my children in my arms, have my husband and my entire life in front of me was priceless.”

Dhupia believes that the person doesn’t change when she is crowned in a pageant; things around her change. It becomes a problem if the person changes. “You have to remain that same person, put in the same amount of hard work, hustle, show gratitude, be excited about going to work and be mindful that it can be taken away from you if you don’t put in the effort,” she says. “If your chauffeur hasn’t come in, take a rickshaw and get to work. Your sense of achievement isn’t defined by the length of your trailer—all this gets taken away the instant you don’t bring numbers at the box office.”

This isn’t new-found wisdom; it’s an inheritance. Her parents told her to reach out to them when she needed to. “In the same breath they told me,” she adds, “hits and flops are not a problem—just the fact that you are going to work is great. If there’s a personal or professional attack, or you are not feeling good about something, that’s a problem. You could be the biggest star and not feel good about yourself. None of this is related.”

There have been times when Dhupia’s choices have paved the way for others, but sometimes they went unnoticed. Being cast as a cop when you are eight months pregnant (A Thursday), for instance; or to host a podcast (#NoFilterNeha); or to drive size-inclusive sartorial choices. Not to forget being cast in movies such as Ek Chalis Ki Last Local or Phas Gaye Re Obama, which would have been applauded more if  premiered on OTT. 

But Dhupia doesn’t have time for regrets. She has been reinventing herself at a time when very few people travelled from film to reality TV, successfully. She was the host on reality shows such as the Roadies for more than five years, where the target audience was between 18 and 24. “I don’t know if I did it too soon or if I was ahead of my time,” she reflects, “but I wouldn’t say I’ve been there, done that because that makes me a thing of the past. I want to be relevant continuously, and do work that people will watch. It’s tougher now because we live in the time of social media and 60 per cent of social media users are under 19. So how do you stay relevant in that market is the big question.”

Whether it is embracing greys, walking down the ramp for a plus size brand, or posting no-filter pictures on social media, Dhupia has been driving the change she wants to see and that’s an unabashed use of her crown.