Showing posts with label Mahikaa Rampal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mahikaa Rampal. Show all posts
I want to stay fit and be there for my four kids-Arjun Rampal
2:28 PM
Onkar Kulkarni (BOMBAY TIMES; June 14, 2025)
Arjun Rampal is a father to four children across two generations – daughters Mahikaa (23) and Myra (20) with his ex-wife, Mehr Jesia, and sons Arik (6) and Ariv (2) with his partner, Gabriella Demetriades. As he’s enjoying fatherhood in his early 50s, Arjun reflects on how parenting, and he himself, have evolved over time. With honesty, he opens up about the lessons learned from his own childhood, the challenges of raising children in a changing world, and the deep bonds he shares with each of his kids.
‘Daughters are sweet, sons are badmaash’
Ask him how fatherhood felt back then, vis-à-vis 20 years later, and Arjun says, “The birth of every child felt like a miracle. When Mahikaa was born, I didn’t know how much effort goes into being a parent. Back then, I was busy trying to provide them a good life, so I couldn’t be around as much as I would have wanted to. But when Arik was born, I really enjoyed it, and I told myself that I would spend more time with my kids and be more hands-on.”
He laughs and adds, “I think daughters are very sweet. Sons are badmaash. They have too much energy, whereas daughters are like angels. But all of them are just nautankis. It’s fun to observe how each child is drastically different from the other.”
‘Parenting has evolved over the years’
Has he evolved as a father through his journey as a parent to four children? “Definitely. Your children teach you a lot. My daughters are now teaching me a lot. It’s a different generation and the world has changed so rapidly around them, and you have to grow with it — you listen more, become more sensitive, more patient. Now they are both independent and on their path. I think parenting has evolved so much from the time my parents raised us to how we are raising our children. Scolding and raising your voice are things that don’t work, because when you do that, they start imitating you,” Arjun says.
‘I loved my dad, but unfortunately, at some point, he became addicted to alcohol’
Ask him about his equation with his father while growing up, and the Rock On actor reveals. “I loved my dad, but unfortunately, at some point, he became addicted to alcohol. My initial years with him were great, then in the middle, due to the addiction, there wasn’t any communication between us. I distanced myself, and the relationship got strained. Towards the end, in the later stage of his life, I started helping him. I took him to rehab and got him connected back with his family. I had not spoken with him for years. We started writing letters to each other, and that’s when we revived our relationship. But then, he got really ill, suffered a heart attack and passed away. I wish he could have spent more time with us. My dad left, then my mom passed away, and that’s when they sent me my baby boy to fill that void,” he says.
‘Addiction of any kind comes from a lot of pain or trauma’
Did his experiences with his father shape the way he views fatherhood? “I don’t think any parent wants to let their children down. I don’t think that was my father’s intention. Addiction of any kind comes from a lot of pain or trauma, which that person must have gone through in their past. I wonder what it was that took him down that route. Sadly, I could never get down to the root of that. I openly talk to my kids about it, as I don’t want them to ever fall into addiction,” he shares.
‘50 is the new 30’
Arjun stepped into a new phase of fatherhood in his late 40s. However, he believes age is just a number. “Ariv was born when I was 50, and 50 is the new 30 (laughs). But really, it’s just a number. What I do is take good care of my health, as I want to stay really fit and be there for them,” the actor says.
‘One of the hardest things is letting go of your kids’
Talking about watching his children fly the nest, Arjun says, “You can’t keep protecting them and letting go is one hard thing you have to do as a parent. When Mahikaa had to go to London to study, I couldn’t take it. I made sure all my shoots were in London so I could spend more time with her. Now Myra’s gone to study, and I’m happy to see how responsible she’s become. A lot of that credit goes to Mehr. She’s been amazing with them.”
‘Right now, the closest to me is Arik’
Each child holds a unique place in his heart. He shares, “Both the girls have had a rough time because their parents are not together. In that situation, to grow so maturely and embrace my life so beautifully… I’m very fortunate to see the way they’ve embraced Gabriella, too. They’re like her best friends. Mahikaa, being the firstborn, knows there’s always that tenderness I have towards her. Myra has me wrapped around her finger. She’ll be aloof and then come back and get everything she wants from me. Right now, the closest to me is Arik, because he’s at that stage where he is clingy and really wants to hang out with me. Ariv is a baby, and he’s really at that cute and cuddly stage.”
Gabriella and he make quite a modern family. Ask if they want to take it a step ahead and tie the knot, and he smiles and replies, “Well, think there are some surprises on the way and let’s leave it at that.”
My daughters are my friends, and they are very naughty and are always pranking me. And I am always falling for it-Arjun Rampal
8:48 AM
Madhureeta Mukherjee (BOMBAY TIMES; June 19, 2022)
They are one modern, happy family. Unconventional, yes. Unshakebly close, absolutely yes! They don’t live under the same roof at all times, but they are one tightly knit unit. They beautifully blend in and proudly stand out. While Arjun Rampal has finely reinvented himself in this current phase of his career, in his personal life, too, the dad of three wonderful children Mahikaa (20), Myra (17) and Arik (2), is learning new things about fatherhood every day, all over again. And he is cherishing it! Arjun talks to BT about parenting in these times and what it takes to be a cool dad and a buddy, who they can lean on. Read on...
You became a father at 28, with Mahikaa’s birth, then at 32 with Myra’s birth. Then at 46, Gabriella (Demetriades) and you had Arik. How different was it being a dad in your mid-40s, which probably is a more settled phase of your life?
It was absolutely different. If I had to go back to the time when I was 28 again and relive my time with Mahikaa, I would do it exactly how I am doing it with Arik.
I feel at that point in time (in your 20s), you are so nervous when you have a child, you are young and it’s all so new. You are also in that state of mind where you are figuring things out and trying to please people in the work space. So, you tend to focus more on making a life for your children rather than spending your life with them. And I think what’s most important with any family is spending time together. Now, I get to do that with all three of them and it is wonderful. They are my friends, and they are very naughty and are always pranking me. And I am always falling for it. Mahikaa is the biggest prankster and so is Myra, and now, even Gabriella has joined the gang.
With Arik, do you find yourself learning new things about fatherhood and getting a hang of daddy duties all over again? Raising a baby amid the pandemic must come with its challenges?
A lot of things happened out of the ordinary with Arik. To have him at the age that I am at, and then the fact that he was born little before the pandemic... it was a period that changed all of us. We were stuck in a house; we couldn’t step out and meet people. So, when you are spending so much time, obviously the way you observe a child is different. If it weren’t for the pandemic, I probably wouldn’t have been able to be around him as much. For Gabriella, to have this baby, at first, she was like, ‘Oh, I don’t know how I will be as a mother’. She is young and was wondering how she would manage this new phase in her life. So, we have been parenting together, which was fantastic. It all happened during scary times, but spending all that time together, also naturally made our bond so special. Arik also has two wonderful sisters who got to hang out with him a lot. We all spend a lot of time as a family. We talk a lot, express our feelings and share our thoughts with each other.
Mahikaa and Myra have grown up now, and they belong to the new generation of kids who are exposed to a lot more. They are confident and cool, do they make you feel cooler? Do they teach you their new-age lingo?
We have conversations about a lot of things. But I tell them that their lingo is rubbish and I have no interest in it. Of course, they look at you like, ‘Oh, you don’t know anything!’ But I turn around and tell them that I know a lot more and I am far cooler than they will ever be (laughs!).
So, when you sit back and look at your family – your two girls who are really close, the way they have grown to love their little brother, and how Gabriella and you relate to them – it all seems like one happy, comfortable, modern family. How do you feel about it? Content?
It’s the best feeling! I feel I should have a few more children (laughs!).
Go on…
God has been kind. Touchwood! It’s not just me, Mehr (Jesia) has done a fabulous job with bringing up the girls so well. So, I feel extremely blessed. Even the rest of my family, my sister, nephews — all of them, we are really close. I value things a lot more now. My kids and my family teach me to value life more each day.
Are you an overprotective dad? How cool and comfortable are you discussing topics like love, relationships, boyfriends, et al, with Mahikaa and Myra?
I think they would be scared in the beginning, but then they would get down to talking about it. Well, they have pranked me with some really terrible stories and they thought I would react differently. But I was very mature and dignified about it and I said... ‘okay, let’s see how we deal with this.’ And they were like, ‘No way, this can’t be your reaction!’ They are my friends and we are open to all kinds of conversations. Today, parenting has changed. The way our parents were with us was different from the way we are with our children. And somewhere, I think, back then, there was a lot of love, but there also was a lot of forced respect. It came out of fear, like how will dad react, aur mummy kya bolegi? Today, children have a lot of exposure, which they have succumbed to as they don’t have a choice. That’s how the world has developed, and if you aren’t part of it, you are considered a freak. So, the best thing to do is to be a friend to your child. To have a child who can trust you wholeheartedly and vice versa is very important.
How did it feel to watch Mahikaa leave the nest to go and pursue her dreams (she is in the UK studying filmmaking)?
For me, it was earth-shattering when she went there. She has always led such a protected life, but she made the transition so gracefully. As parents, we realise that we also need to give them their space. I ask myself, can I trust them? The answer is yes. Are they grounded? Yes, I think they are pretty grounded. It’s fine to go wild and make mistakes; everyone does that. It is part of life and learning. But as parents, you know that you will always have their back and that’s not going to change. The whole world can change, but as a father I will always have my kids’ back and that is the one thing which will never change.
Do you feel settled with Gabriella and love the life and home that you have built with her?
I think she has been a complete blessing in my life. We both met at a time when there was a lot going on in both our lives. There is a saying in one of the series that I recently did, ‘After absolute chaos comes absolute silence.’ I hope we are beyond the chaos levels of our life. Somewhere, I feel we have helped find each other and formed the connect that we have.
When Dhaakad makers told me Kangana Ranaut is the protagonist, I knew that she would put her everything into it-Arjun Rampal
8:17 AM
Madhureeta Mukherjee (BOMBAY TIMES; May 14, 2022)
We have seen many shades of Arjun Rampal — across platforms — grey too, but this time, like the actor reveals, ‘Evil has a new name. ’ The antagonist of the action spy thriller Dhaakad, who has gone really dark, has turned on the heat with a platinum blonde style, looking hotter than ever! And he has the protagonist, Agent Agni, loaded with ammo, played by Kangana Ranaut, to battle. With the film gearing up for release on May 20, Arjun talks to us about how cinema jargon has changed, the way actors have broken the shackles and how stories packed with woman-power attract him. He is all guns blazing. Read on…
In a film where the protagonist is so fiery and powerful, the antagonist has to be as deadly, or more, right? Would you say this is your deadliest avatar of sorts? In a social media post you had said, ‘Evil has a new name.’
Yes, I think so. My character, Rudraveer, is quite vicious, and he has a mission, as he comes from a space where everything is taken from him. So, he is protective about all that he has achieved so far. He gathers a lot of loyalty amongst his people, and he is anti-system. Somewhere, his heart is dark, but he doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong because this is the world he has created. When you get a character like this to play, it is lethal, and also, sometimes scary…
…Because it takes you into a different mental space? Dark, perhaps?
It does take you into a different mind space. It makes you think. When you are performing, until you don’t feel it, whether it is a small or large part, it doesn’t come across. You can do it on a superficial level, but that’s not what you want to do. For me, to feel him was important, and when you do that, you get in touch with those emotions and get into that mind frame. It has an impact on you. You become aware of what really evil is and how bad it can get. It scares you. I’m glad it scared me, because you know that your mind can never tread in that direction, ever, where you slam or shoot someone and feel no emotion. There is this one montage shot where I have to go and hack someone, and Razy (director, Razneesh Ghai) told me to just go for it.
So, at that point, what do you think about?
You probably think of the anger which is there inside of you, if any, and you tap into that and let it out. It took me a while to get into that scene, and when I did, they didn’t say cut, and I kept going on and on. Now when I see those eyes, I am like, ‘Wow, this is me!’ That came from somewhere.
There is not as much of the action spy thriller genre seen in our movies, theatricals, especially. Then, here you have a woman leading the show, doing hardcore action. A superb idea, but rare in our cinema. How did you react when you were pitched this concept?
I was excited because I could tell that Razy is a filmmaker with a distinct style and visual sense, which is captivating. Also, from the time that we have been making our films, we follow a certain style that often alienates a certain generation of moviegoers, like Gen Z, which includes my children who consume different kinds of content. They have been exposed to OTT so much more, so they feel that often what they see on screen is a watered-down version, especially in this genre. The action in this film is of a different level. We had action choreographers from Korea, the US, as well as India. The action sequences and visuals are something that will stay with you. Another thing that struck me was that the film is going to have such a different feel with a woman doing all this action. You have seen a man do this on the screen so many times, the novelty of the whole film is seeing a woman do such hardcore action...
Go on...
Every time I do a film led by a woman, I think of what my mom did for us and the sacrifices she made. As a single mom, she took brave and drastic steps in her life, at a time when women did not have that kind of voice. If she hadn’t made those choices, then I wouldn’t have been here today. I have done films like The Rapist, Dhaakad, Kahaani 2, and way back, Dil Hai Tumhaara, Tehzeeb and Dil Ka Rishta, and I would always wonder why such roles attracted me. Then I figured out that somewhere I have this innate feeling inside me. I also have two daughters (Mahikaa and Myra) and have been around women who are so incredible. Also, today, it’s about the film and not about you. We have so many opportunities, I am doing two big action films as the protagonist, and people will see me in that light, too. When they told me that Kangana is the protagonist, I knew that she would put her everything into it. She has trained really hard for this film. In our first schedule together for the film in Bhopal, she had to do one difficult take where she had to dismantle this whole pistol and use it as a weapon to stab a man. She did it in two takes. It was hardcore, and I was like, ‘Wow, she is on fire!’
For a theatrical film, the vision of a story can sometimes get diluted because filmmakers have that constant pressure to deliver a certain number at the box office, while catering to various sensibilities and markets. Hence, at times it compels them to play it safe to ensure payback on their projects. On the other hand, the digital medium gives far more room for flexibility, experiments and surprises. Would you agree?
All that jargon we had… that we have to make a film for this audience and that, and we have to please everyone just because it’s a big-screen release — that time is over! That audience has gone. Today, the audience will reject your movie as they know exactly what you are trying to do. We have seen that happen now. The audience has outright rejected films that have been made with calculations and tropes that try to please them. Today, with huge competition from OTT, to pull people out of their homes and bring them to the theatres, we have to make films that create an intrigue in people, where they will say, ‘Yes, I want to watch this movie on the big screen.’
It appears like there is less pressure when a film or show releases in the digital space. But is that true?
Given that the reach of the digital medium is so wide, if you don’t hit the mark, there is a larger audience that will notice it. And vice-versa. In the entertainment business, there is no one way. Everything is a double-edged sword. You are right, in the OTT space, it might seem that there is no box-office pressure, but there is a huge amount of pressure at a different level, and how well you have done is also measured differently. They (the digital platforms) calculate how much their subscriptions have gone up; they can even tell you on which episode engagement level. So, that decides if they want to do the second season of a show. It’s business, after all, so there is immense pressure to achieve what they have set out to do.
Would you say that this medium has let you reinvent yourself, helped you stay relevant and find a new audience?
Not only find a new audience, but also do a lot that I wanted to do, but could not, as there were restrictions — because of the reasons we discussed earlier... like filmmakers wanting to play it safe for BO returns. We weren’t getting opportunities to do exactly what we wanted or a chance to push the envelope. With OTT, that has changed. It has smashed all those mirages that caged you as an artiste. It has opened up new avenues not only for actors who want to experiment, but also for new talent.
The filters and parameters that you use while big-screen film, are they any different?
Honestly, the question that I ask myself when I am signing a project is, am I going to be satisfied as an artiste? This creative satisfaction is what I was always looking for, and that’s why I kept jumping between genres and working with filmmakers with different sensibilities. Now, I know where and how to find what I am looking for, whether it’s on OTT or the big screen, it doesn’t matter. As an actor, every film for me is a big one, irrespective of the medium.
Do your daughters, Mahikaa and Myra follow your work closely? Are there discussions about cinema at home?
Mahikaa and I have interesting conversations about cinema. She is 20, she is studying acting and films in the UK, and really enjoying it. We talk a lot about technique, what we do and how we do it. If she needs to make a big speech, she will call me and do it for me, if I am lucky. I get interesting insights from her, which I can apply to my work. We analyse scenes that I have done, and she asks me, ‘What you were thinking while doing this? I think the expression worked here.’ So, we mostly have discussions like that.
As an aspiring artiste, gearing up to step into the world of cinema, what kind of advice do you dole out to her, as a father and actor?
I tell her to not fall into the trap of trying to impress anyone. That’s what we tend to do; we try to impress and impress, and eventually, we start hating our job and get prone to be disillusioned by ourselves. But actually, you’ve already been disillusioned as you are working to please someone else and not doing what is right for the part. So, if you are honest with your part, everything else will fall into place. This is the advice I would give any actor — remove all the noise and focus on what you are supposed to do, purely and honestly. For Mahikaa, too, it is important to understand this. We are constantly trying to prove ourselves, but you don’t have to do any of that. Just let go. You have to say, this is my work, and if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t like it. You are entitled to your choice, but I am also absolutely entitled to not agree with your choice (laughs!).
I thought I was in love, but then I had Arik-Gabriella Demetriades
8:43 AM
New mom Gabriella Demetriades talks Arjun Rampal, getting back into shape, and why her son is the best thing in her life
Aastha Atray Banan (MID-DAY; August 25, 2019)
It's been just a month since South African model Gabriella Demetriades gave birth to baby boy Arik Rampal, and the new mother is glowing. Dressed in cargos and a white vest, she doesn't even need make-up to look dewy fresh, when we meet her at her clothing store, Deme by Gabriella, in Bandra on a hot Thursday evening. The post-baby weight is almost out of the door, but she says, she still has 10 kg to go. "I lost 11 kg as I was leaving the hospital, as Arik was almost 5 kg. Since then, I have been breastfeeding, so I am not on any special diet, but I am eating healthy and nutritious food. I never stopped working out anyway. My water broke while I was playing tennis," says the 32-year-old, who says she had been doing yoga and working out throughout the nine months.
Demetriades and actor Arjun Rampal, 46, had been dating for a year when the stunning model took to Instagram and announced her pregnancy on April 23 this year (see picture below). She posted a black and white picture of herself and Rampal, with her baby bump visible, and captioned it "Grateful for you two. Can't wait to meet you". Today, she looks content, happy and very much at peace with her life. "I was never one of those people who thought of having a baby. I am actually the youngest of my friends, and we would have conversations such as 'ok, is it time to have a baby yet?'. I would even look at people having babies, and think 'I don't know if I want to do this'. But it all happened very organically, and it may sound like a cliche now, but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I used to think I was in love [with Rampal], but then Arik happened..." she laughs.
Speaking of love, the baby mama, who admits to freaking out about the baby, says it was Rampal who kept her sane. "All during the pregnancy, which was hard, my mother would tell me, 'wait till you see the baby'. While Arjun has done this before, and so, was calm, and was with me every step of the way, I didn't have a reference point. I think he is going to be a great dad. He is so hands-on that sometimes I say 'give me my son back'," she says of Rampal, who has two teenage daughters, Mahikaa and Myra, with former model Mehr Jesia, with whom he is separated. The girls, Demetriades says, can't get enough of their baby brother. "They love him. I see the relationship they have with Arjun, and it's one of respect but they are friends too. I wish to have the same one with Arik when he grows up." Ask her what Arik means and she says it means ruler of rulers, but then laughs, "That doesn't mean we think our baby is the ruler of rulers. But Arjun being such a nationalist, said 'I want my baby to have a Hindu name', and I wanted something that was easy for my family to pronounce, so we settled on Arik. But now, people are asking me 'is it Eric?'," she says.
For now, her life revolves around her son, whom she spends the bulk of her mornings with, and her other baby—work as a model and designer. If she was going through business reports in the hospital, she is now back in action, taking meetings and getting things done. She sums up, "I think having a baby makes you a nicer person, for a while at least. But it also makes you more disciplined, because you now have this person, who becomes a priority, and you will shape up your life around them."
It was of prime importance that my daughters should accept Gabriella Demetriades as a part of the family-Arjun Rampal
7:49 AM
At the baby shower over the weekend, Arjun Rampal on how he’s reached a happy zone after five years of ‘sheer hell’
Khalid Mohamed (MUMBAI MIRROR; May 27, 2019)
Spring returned to Arjun Rampal’s life on Satuday while hosting a baby shower for his partner, Gabriella Demetriades, the drop-dead gorgeous model, actor and designer from Port Elizabeth, South Africa. The baby is expected in late July or early August.Twinning in summery white outfits, the camera-friendly couple was embraced and lavished with presents, ranging from homebaked cakes and bunches of pink and blue balloons to eye-catching artworks.
The invitees were cherry-picked. Of the Bollywood set only Abhishek Kapoor who designed the National Award-winning role of an angst-ridden guitarist for the actor in Rock On!, and Arjun’s cousin Kim Sharma, were spotted at the tastefully-appointed apartment in Bandra, where the actor has shifted ever since he parted from Mehr Jesia, after a marriage of almost 20 years.
Despite the blazing May sun, the guests from the corporate and fashion world grouped together essentially on the compact terrace where sangria, spritzers, wine and organic appetisers, and a low-cal lunch, did the rounds from early afternoon until late into the evening.
The visibly elated Arjun took on the role of the event’s deejay, spinning cool electronica and garage tracks, dedicating them to his daughters. Mahikaa and Myra mingled with the guests, serving canapes and ensuring the turn-out was kept in high spritzer-spirits.
For an exclusive to Mirror, Arjun was whisked away to the TV room, for an update on his professional and private lives. Reluctant initially, he admitted, “It’s been sheer hell for the last five years but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, doesn’t it?”His production company is on the cusp of kicking off two series for streaming channels. “They are period dramas,” he added, wary of revealing details. Plus, a feature film with him in a strongly etched lead role is in the offing. Discussions are on, too, for a series with director Nikkhil Advani with whom the actor collaborated on D-Day.
Right. So where did he meet Gabriella? “Ah, that’s a question to ask,” he laughed his high-octave laugh. “We met through common friends. So, what can I say? That she stalked me? Wishful thinking that, buddy! It’s only been a year since we started dating and here we are. For keeps. And I must add that it was of prime importance that my daughters should accept her as a part of the family. I’m blessed that they have, no questions asked.”
Mahikaa, who enters her 12th year at school, could subsequently go in for film studies. Myra, his younger daughter by four years, has indicated signs of being a gifted painter. “Both are voracious readers,” dad Arjun added proudly.It can be sensed that Arjun still has to come to terms with the tragic loss of his mother Gwen who succumbed last October to cancer after a five-year battle. “She was the axis of my life,” the son narrated. “We went everywhere for treatment, including America and Portugal. During her last days, she could converse only by raising her hand. She went away without saying a word. But she returns in my dreams and I hear her saying, ‘Don’t worry about a thing, never worry. Look after yourself.’”
Komal, the younger sister of the actor, who was also at the baby shower, said, “Arjun was in the doldrums, both of us were extremely close to mom. We’re trying to get over our loss. Thankfully, he’s in a happy space now that he’s with Gabriella. Life has to move on.” A room in the apartment, where Gwen Rampal, spent her last days, has been kept intact, with her books, clothes and pair of spectacles.
Milling with the guests, the vividly green-eyed Gabriella is gregarious, taking care to attend to every guest. I’m somewhat out of place, since I’m meeting up with Arjun after a hiatus of half-a-dozen years. Gamely, he brings up our film Tehzeeb, in which he was supposed to play a cameo. Perceiving his spontaneity and tongue-in-cheek humour -- on location in Lonavala -- his part was extended with the support of the entire team to a full-fledged role, in the company of Shabana Azmi and Urmila Matondkar. On overhearing this, Gabriella says, “Aha, I haven’t seen Arjun’s films yet… but that one I will.”
“Don’t,” I warn her. “It’s a bit artsy.”
“But those are the sort I love,” she presses another sangria on me.
Before I leave the gathering, which for once has no la-da-dah chatter and no networking, I ask Arjun if he’s wont to falling in love easily. To that he laughs, “How can you ask me that? You were just chatting with Gabriella, weren’t you? How can anyone resist falling in love with her? Now, okay please do drop by again, whenever – no agenda required.”
Nephew Adit, daughters Mahikaa, Myra with Arjun Rampal
My daughters don’t gossip at all-Arjun Rampal
8:01 AM
Nayandeep Rakshit (DNA; August 17, 2017)
Arjun Rampal’s upcoming film Daddy is a biopic on Arun Gawli, in which the actor plays the title role. In reality, Arjun is an extremely protective father. Dad to daughters Mahikaa (15) and Myra (12), Arjun is an easy-going father. He admittedly doesn’t have any ground rules for his daughters. He allows them the freedom in the hope that they don’t choose to rebel at some point. Over a cup of coffee, Arjun opens up on life as a dad. Read on...
You have transformed your look completely for Daddy. How did your daughters react?
They were like, ‘No, no, not again’. I remember last time they really freaked out was when I shaved my head for Ra.One. And then when I did this for Daddy, they asked me why I always do this. But again, I think they know by now that their father does this kind of stuff and they also admire that. They are getting old enough to understand that I go to this level and they like it.
As a father, did you restrict them from watching your films?
No. Whatever they want to watch, they will watch. Even today, if they don’t like any film of mine, they won’t watch it. It’s entirely their decision. I can’t be a parent who forces things on my kids. My children are my friends. You should not instill fear in them because that creates a gap in relationships. And that has become an easy thing to do today because there are so many other distractions in the form of WhatsApp, social media and what not. It takes up half your day and I see people spending so much time looking down at their phones that their necks have bent. It’s just ridiculous. The best that we can do is to not give them any fear, don’t make rules and spend time with them as friends so that they can feel secure and share everything with you.
How do you make sure that they remain unaffected by whatever is written about you?
Social media is a part of your life right now. If people want to talk about things, they do. I don’t care. People who are close to you — your kids, you wife, your family — they just know the truth. I just read a few days ago that I’m going to meet Al Capone’s family (laughs). So what do you do? You take it with a pinch of salt and move on. It doesn’t influence anyone forever. Today, you are the news, tomorrow someone else will take up that space. We all are moving targets. News is sensationalised, but now sensationalism is also boring for the audience. You cannot think children today are stupid. They are very smart, they know everything that’s happening around. My kids don’t gossip at all. In fact, this new generation, I feel, hates gossip and that’s what I love about them. They are very, very positive and into their own scene, whatever it may be. They are into sports, games, reading or just information.
How protective are you as a father?
That’s a natural instinct. Any parent is protective of their kids. Obviously I am, too. When you have kids, you will be protective about your children just like your parents are protective about you. I just met Suhana and Aryan (Shah Rukh Khan’s children) on a flight recently. They have both grown up and are so beautiful. They have wonderful manners and are so polite. That shows your upbringing. That reflects how your parents are. These things that come and go, shouldn’t bother them. Which is why, like I said, you need to talk to them as a friend and make them feel secure. So that they feel solid and it doesn't affect their personalities.
Have you kept that space open where you can talk to them about their personal life?
Of course! That’s what I mean when I say that we are friends. There has to be space where they can talk to me about anything and everything. If you make rules or say that don't talk to boys, no guys at home, come home by this time, do this, don’t do that and so on, you will create a rebel there. The whole idea is that you also know that when someone said no to something, you wanted it the most. That’s human psyche. That's how kids, or young adults behave. It’s very difficult for people to digest a no. So I’m like, ‘Go try it. Find out for yourself.’
Anil Kapoor had said that his daughters’ friends become closer to him once they meet him. What about you — are you friends with Mahikaa and Myra's buddies?
Right now, they are really small. So, I will look like a giant to them (laughs). I think, slowly, as they get older, I will have a lot more interaction with their friends. And I would love to meet them, get to know them better. It’s always good to have that. It’s healthy.
Are they your personal critics?
They are not critics at all. I don’t remember them not liking any films of mine in the last two three years. They have watched most of my films that came.
Between you and Mehr, who says yes more often?
We both have our share of it. There are certain things, which they know I don’t like. I hate it when they sit with their phones and iPads at the dining table when the family is about to eat together. Mehr doesn't care about that and she does that with them. There are different things like that. But she’s definitely more hands-on than I am. I’m out most of the times because of my work.
If your daughters want to act in films, how would you react?
I would be totally comfortable with whatever they decide to do. I think Bollywood is a great industry and it’s a great profession. It requires a lot of dedication, hard work, education, study, self-discipline and you need to have all these qualities when you want to be part of an industry where you will be creating a body of work that you will leave eventually.
Have they ever expressed their desire to do films?
They are again, too young. But the elder one (Mahikaa) is into theatre. She likes it a lot. And the younger one (Myra) is a full-on drama queen. I’m sure she will join the industry. It is also because when you see your parents doing something ever since you are born, you certainly have an inclination towards their profession. But even if they choose to do something else, Mehr and I will support them.
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