Titas Chowdhury (HINDUSTAN TIMES; May 9, 2020)

“When I became a mum, my first thought was that I just could not fail. I knew that this was one test I was going to ace… as this really was a question of life and wasted life,” says actor Kajol.

The actor believes that her kids (daughter Nysa, 16, and son Yug, 9) have positively impacted her as a person and as an actor. “My children make me want to be a better person and sometimes a more fun one. Being a mum added a lot to who I was, and it has only made me a better actor,” she says.

The 45-year-old, in her signature candour, shares why her children have not watched many of her films. “Both my kids love to watch films but haven’t seen many of mine. Firstly, because I haven’t made that many, and secondly, according to them, I cry too much and I make them cry too,” she says.

Ask her about her bond with her mother, veteran actor Tanuja, and she says, “My mum and I always had the best relationship, and it has only gone from strength to strength. We don’t discuss whether I should do a film or not. It has always been my decision from the age I was 16. My mum gave me a lot of advice, and I didn’t listen to any of it till I reached a problem. And then her advice would ring in my ears and I knew what the right thing to do was.”

Sharing a message ahead of Mother’s Day, Kajol says, “The one thing that your children will remember forever is how you loved them. All the scolding, the feeding and the care will be forgotten. So, don’t forget to make them feel loved every single day.”

Kajol says with time, she had to change her acting style; adds hamming doesn’t go with her acting aesthetics
Titas Chowdhury (HINDUSTAN TIMES; February 24, 2020)

Kajol, who’s basking in the success of Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, says that she had to change her approach towards her craft a few years back and incorporate a new method of acting in her subsequent films. Looking back at her earlier years in the industry, she says that she had to cater to the demands of her directors and ham in order to play to the gallery as it was the only acceptable way of performing. “We’ve all hammed back in the day. How do you think we would get through? Hamming is terrible. It doesn’t agree with your spiritual, physical and mental aesthetics,” she says.

Ask her what drove this change towards her art, and she says that it’s important to stay relevant to the Gen Z audience, which is now exposed to content from all over the world. “You slowly realise that the audience has also changed. Because of the influx of OTT platforms and exposure to a wide variety of content, you realise that they’re used to seeing better content and so, you have to be better. They know what ‘being natural onscreen’ means. Actors cannot be unnatural now,” she elaborates.

Kajol adds that the process of “loud acting” doesn’t work anymore. “When I did We Are Family (2010), I realised that times have changed, and that formula won’t work anymore. At one point, I realised that a particular scene isn’t working but it would have worked five years back. I understood that somewhere down the line, I’ll have to change my pattern, break it and unlearn everything that I’ve learnt so far or else I’ll expire and become outdated,” says the 45-year-old actor.

For the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) actor, it’s important to appear natural on camera as it never lies. She explains, “I had a moment of epiphany at that point of time. It completely changed my viewpoint about films. I realised that if I want to do more films, I can’t do things where I look at myself and say that things are going wrong. It’s not like you’ll watch We Are Family and say that there’s something wrong with it but when I was doing the film, I figured that it wasn’t working for me, personally. You need to understand what works on camera and what doesn’t.”

Kajol says that social media doesn’t allow actors to fool the viewers anymore. “Today, because of social media, you see actors without any makeup. When you see the same actors with loud makeup and fake eyelashes in a realistic film, it’s going to hit you wrong! If you’re going the ‘realistic film’ way and you still have your eyeliner, eyelashes and mascara on, it’s going to look so wrong. The same applies to clothes, expressions and body language. As actors of a different time and era, we’ve to adapt to the recent times,” she signs off.

Kajol says that one can only pray and hope that one’s film does well; also talks about My Name Is Khan completing a decade
Rishabh Suri (HINDUSTAN TIMES; February 12, 2020)

There’s a certain freshness and credibility that Kajol brings to every role she plays, which is why even after almost 30 years in Bollywood, she still manages to surprise everyone. Her latest release, the epic Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, with husband Ajay Devgn, has left everyone astounded. It has so far cruised past ₹260 crore in India alone. We get talking to the 45-year old actor about starting 2020 with a bang, and her film My Name Is Khan (2010) completing a decade of its release.

Were you sure that Tanhaji would do such big numbers?
You can never be sure of any film. I think it’d be overconfidence on our part if we assumed that all the films we made with all our heart and soul will do well. Of course, we hope and pray that they do. Thank God, he answered our prayers.

Your portrayal of Savitribai was lauded by the audience and critics. What’s been the best compliment?
The fact that people stayed back till the end titles were rolling. That was the biggest one I got, without anybody saying a single word. The nicest one on the other hand was when the audience in a multiplex stood up at the end and said ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’. I loved the fact that I was in a film that got that reaction.

Your husband also produced the film. How different is Ajay the husband from Ajay the co-star and producer?
(laughs) I know all three versions of him, and I married all three of them. He’s not too different from how I imagined him to be. All three versions of him were created in front of me. We’ve been married for 20 years, which is a long time.

One of your most popular films, My Name Is Khan, marks 10 years of it’s release today. How important a film would you call it in your filmography?
I’ve never done films for my resume. I had a great time doing this film. I remember the moment Karan (Johar; director) narrated the script to me, and both of us were sitting and discussing it at my house. ‘We’re going to do this, go here, this is what the film eventually will look like’ — we were straightaway thinking about all this. So, I have many precious memories.

Karan has always joked that you falling down on his film’s sets is lucky for him…
(cuts in) And it happened with this one, too, and nobody came forward to help me, because as I fell down, everyone was laughing and congratulating each other. I was sitting on the steps all by myself after falling down, and after five minutes, Mickey (Contractor, make-up artist) was like ‘Baby, I’ll help you’. I said, ‘Don’t you think that it’s nasty, that for five minutes you all were clapping your hands while I fell down on my butt?’

The film was so unlike the previous films you, Karan and Shah Rukh Khan had done. Were there apprehensions in that sense?
Not at all, all three of us think the same in a weird way, and we get down to it, and didn’t think our viewpoints differed too much. Karan is so good at telling us what he wants done. We’re all on the same page when we get down to work.

Renuka Vyavahare (BOMBAY TIMES; January 5, 2020)

When we meet Kajol at a suburban five star, she is reminiscent of Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. Dressed in a gorgeous ethnic gown, her choice of footwear is white sneakers. ‘Comfort comes first’, she chuckles before elaborating on finding the airport and gym looks amusing. You can’t help but notice that Kajol is an amalgamation of her popular screen characters. She is as family oriented as Simran from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (DDLJ), as vulnerable as Anjali from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (KKHH) and as vivacious, chirpy and rooted in her culture as Anjali in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (K3G). In a chat with BT, the actress talks about motherhood being a role that’s a work in progress, career post marriage and the upcoming home production, Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, with husband Ajay Devgn. Excerpts...

The New Year is all about setting new goals and changing things that are long overdue. Is there anything that you’d like to change about yourself?
I am perfect the way I am. I don’t want to change anything about myself except for what will happen organically. I don’t like too many changes. I actually like a nice boring life, routine is underrated. For me, no news is good news. When people ask me, ‘What’s happening in your life?’ or ‘What’s new?’, I tell them, ‘Nothing, really. I am doing the same old s**t and loving every bit of it’. There is no hot gossip in my life whatsoever.

When we think of Kajol, we think of Shah Rukh Khan and vice versa. You two have epitomised romance in cinema. What do you think makes your screen chemistry so special?
The first two films — Baazigar (1993) and Karan Arjun (1995) — that we did together, worked so well that there was no looking back. Be it DDLJ (1995), KKHH (1998), K3G (2001) or My Name Is Khan (2010), we have been lucky with the kind of films that we got to do. Also, it matters whether you get along with your co-star. We were and still are good friends. We are extremely comfortable around each other and that translates on screen and creates that chemistry you are talking about. When we do a scene, he knows exactly what I am going to do and vice versa.

Speaking of chemistry, you play Savitribai Malusare, the fearless wife of warrior Tanhaji Malusare (played by Ajay Devgn) in your upcoming home production, Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior. You have worked with Ajay before. So, what happens when real and reel equations coincide?
We have worked together in many films, and at home also, we work together (smiles!). So, we are used to it. Ajay is the same, be it at home or on the set, and I have always loved that about him. He doesn’t change according to the environment. I am a talkative person, while he is extra quiet.

Over the past few years, we have seen many historicals courting controversies. They are either accused of misrepresenting facts, or hurting the sentiments of a particular section/community. Were you apprehensive about such a possibility while making Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior?
We have tried not to offend anyone. Of course, we have taken certain cinematic liberties, but we have tried to be as authentic as possible. Having said that, you can’t keep everyone happy. These days, everyone has an opinion and they have platforms to voice it. We just have to wait for the film to release and judge it after watching it.

You talked about social media giving everyone a platform to voice their opinion. Of course, social media gives more opportunities, but it also builds up the pressure to be perfect at all times, isn’t it?
There is definitely more pressure on today’s generation of stars to be perfectly turned out at all times, even when they are coming out of a gym. Those pictures are shockingly good. Thank God, nobody sees me in the gym, because it’s not a pretty sight! Yes, the pressure is more, but so are the opportunities. When we did films in the past, you either failed dramatically or succeeded dramatically. There was no middle ground. Today, there is that nice, happy middle ground where everyone doesn’t have to be number one. It’s a more secure place for them to be. Even if you don’t want to work in films as actors, there are so many other things to do. You can start your own business, be it in fashion or film production, and people won’t look down and say, ‘Oh! She is starting her own business because she is not doing well in films’. That fear is not there anymore. Also, you can act and simultaneously do these things. So many actors today are doing so many things at the same time, it is all about being able to multitask.

Yes, so many norms and conventions have changed over the past few years. But, you were always a rule-breaker, weren’t you? You got married at the age of 25, when you were at the peak of your career.Then, DDLJ brought in a fashion revolution of sorts… minimal make-up, simple hairdos, backless gowns and satin saris...
I have always been like that. I am too lazy and that came across as rule-breaking (laughs!). I was stubborn and yes, I did make certain choices which were a little unusual. I usually go by my instinct, whether it is films or other choices in life. The story needs to work for me before I give a nod to a film. As far as getting married early is concerned, I don’t think that it was a big deal even back then. You had Sharmila Tagore, my mother Tanuja, Sadhana, Saira Banu… all of them continued doing films after marriage. Today, almost every woman continues to work after marriage and that’s fabulous.

Did you see any difference in the roles that were offered to you after marriage? Was there a change in filmmakers’ perception of you?
After marriage, I felt that I had the freedom to choose different films. I didn’t want to do run-of-the-mill films. Not that I ever wanted to do such movies, but at one point, I know that I may have. Today, the opportunities are huge as the writing in cinema is better.

You have two kids and your elder daughter Nysa is a teenager. Like your character in Helicopter Eela (2018), are you an obsessive and interfering parent?
There are times when every mother gets hyper and protective about her children. I have hopefully drawn myself back, but there are momentary lapses. So, I swing between being Helicopter Eela and myself. I keep telling myself, ‘Remember what you were like when you were 16’. I am relatively more chilled out, while Ajay gets more hyper about them.

What do you make of the paparazzi culture, and the birth of airport and gym looks? Have you tried to keep pace, or just let it be?
I am convinced that this airport culture is in everyone’s heads. Have you seen regular people at the airport? Sweatshirts, jeans and sports shoes — 90 per cent of people wear this. The remaining almost 10 per cent wear uniforms because they are airport personnel. Only point one per cent people wear heels and walk out with their hair perfectly styled and in fashionable clothes, like they have just stepped out of a salon and right onto the red carpet.

I don’t know what to say! Even the gym look, I wonder if they go to the gym and then to the parlour and then step out! The hair looks blow-dried, and they wear perfect clothes that match the shoes. The whole look is colour coordinated. You will not see them repeating gym clothes, while I have two pairs of gym wear. Also, I don’t know how people even shoot those gym videos. Placing the camera in the right angle to capture the workout… You have no clue how much effort they have to take to look that way. I choose not to take everything too seriously. We need to stop making a big deal out of everything. If your photograph did not get the maximum likes on Instagram, it’s fine (laughs!). I use this platform for fun. The minute it starts feeling like work, I will disconnect from it. I have realised the importance of social media and it does make a difference to me, but I cannot make it my bread and butter. I can’t be stressed about what I am going to post two days from now and uska caption kya hoga.

At a time when we obsess over perfection, what would you advise a youngster, who wants to make a foray into acting?
Please don’t think that if you change your nose or lips to look like someone, you, too, will stand out. You won’t. It’s a myth. If you get Katrina Kaif’s nose or someone’s cheek bones or someone’s lips, you won’t stand out. It will not make your career more interesting or your rise meteoric. It will do nothing except make you blend in, when you actually want to stand out. Focus on who you are and your work. Also, if you want to enhance your face, there’s always make-up. It is meant to correct what you think is slightly lacking in your face. I won’t say flaws, as every face is unique, but if you think something is lacking, use make-up instead.

Renuka Vyavahare (BOMBAY TIMES; January 4, 2020)

There are times when the parent-child relationship witnesses a role reversal, and parents end up learning a lot from their children. Kajol, who plays Savitribai Malusare in the upcoming film, Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, elaborated on the same. Speaking of her children Nysa and Yug, she said, “They teach me so much. The way they look at life, treat people, handle things, it’s so inspiring. They are brutally frank and perceptive about situations and relationships. I would like to believe that I am more mature than them, but sometimes, they make me realise how immature I can be.”

Like every parent, she, too, has disagreements with her kids. Kajol added, “We do have our share of arguments. I once fired Nysa for not sitting at the table with us. She said that she didn’t feel like it. I got angry and screamed, ‘You need to spend more time with us, how can you not feel like it?’ I went on and on. After a few minutes, my son Yug, who was sitting on my lap, told me, ‘Mom, you shouldn’t fire Nysa for telling you the truth’. It hit me hard. He is just eight years old! He added, ‘I lie to you sometimes when you ask me to come and sit on your lap. I don’t want to, but I come anyway because I fear you will feel bad. She is telling you the truth and you shouldn’t fire her for that.’ I didn’t know where to look. I apologised to her later. As parents, we sometimes force our kids to do certain things like meeting relatives and talking to us. How else will they connect to their roots and family? But what Yug said got me thinking. It made me reevaluate myself as a mother and question my ideologies.”

On a lighter note, we also asked Kajol what her young daughter thinks about her Instagram game. In her trademark candid demeanour, the actress confessed, “Nysa thinks that my Instagram posts are weird. She asks me, ‘Who talks like that on Instagram?’ I tell her, I am real at least. I don't even try to use the millennial language and hashtags. That’s really pushing it.”

Kajol on why she’d rather stick to home banner and self-worth in the age of ‘strange definitions of a strong woman’
Ankita Chaurasia (MUMBAI MIRROR; December 24, 2019)

There’s a sense of deja-vu in seeing Kajol grin, as she lets you into a sun-lit suite of a suburban five-star, inviting you to “make yourself comfortable”. Any minute now, you expect her to spring a, “Would you like some tea and something to go with it?” in the British accent of Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham’s expat heroine, or remind you to chug, “Juice, juice” as the college-going tomboy from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. It’s not difficult to see that there’s been a bit of Kajol in every character she has played—from the rebellious Simran of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge to an overprotective mother in Helicopter Eela.

Settling in for a chat, Kajol underlines that her upcoming film, actorhusband Ajay Devgn’s Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, which is the story of an underdog, features characters with clear personality traits. “Saif (Ali Khan, co-star) is all-black (negative); you won’t see him saving a sparrow in the end to convey that he has some good within him. Tanaji and Savitri are all-white. No one is grey,” she laughs, and is refreshingly upfront about her role, in that it “isn’t very big”.

The actress is quick to add that her role is relevant to the story. “Savitribai is a loyalist and there’s a wonderful strength to her character. In today’s time, our definition of a strong woman is strange. You have to be a working woman as well as an efficient homemaker and if you are only one of the two, there’s a certain way you are looked at, even by other women. There’s immense strength in being who you are and realising your relevance,” Kajol asserts.

Is that why she does only a handful of films now? “It isn’t every day that the right director, producer and script come together. So, I’d rather sit at home and spend time with my children. I have great kids, they are cool and have a fabulous sense of humour,” the actress says with unabashed maternal pride. When asked if she would be game to attempt an all-black character again, pat comes the reply, “I’d love to do something like a Maleficent.”

Point out that Ajay had recently revealed that the film’s team is planning a franchise on other unsung warriors from India and Kajol says, “We want to mine more stories of those who fought like maniacs for their motherland,” but would personally rather stay in the fiction zone. “I am a fiction reader; nothing real lives up to that.” And what about screen adaptations of books? “If it is about adapting a book for the screen, often, it doesn’t translate well, unless you take a lot of cinematic liberties,” she argues, adding that there are some “fabulous thrillers” that would make great scripts, but she won’t name them for fear of jinxing. “I read all the time now. E-books are the best thing to happen to mankind. Back in the day, every time I went to London, I’d lug back stacks of books, squeezing them into my suitcase, hand bag and knapsack to avoid shelling out a fortune on charges.”

There was buzz that she is set to launch her own production house but Kajol shoots it down. “I am not producer material at all; it requires a strong stomach lining to deal with all the ulcers that come with the job,” she laughs, adding that she always has her husband’s company to produce films with.

With Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior, the husband-wife duo reunites on screen 12 years after their last outing, U Me Aur Hum, but the actress insists that nothing has changed between then and now. “Even when Ajay is acting with me in a scene, he watches me like a director. If he is not happy with a shot, he will give me inputs and ask me to go for a second take. I appreciate his keen eye,” she gushes.

Speaking of aesthetics, their nine-year-old son, Yug, is gaining quite the reputation as a shutterbug, as evidenced by Kajol’s Instagram feed. “We are constantly negotiating. When I dress up, I ask him to take a pic and he says, ‘I’ll click only one, haan,’ and I’ll request him to click at least three after which he will reluctantly oblige. But those three clicks are fantastic. I am amazed at the perfect frames. By the time he was seven, he understood picture composition,” the actress raves.

Turns out, the young aesthete is not too pleased with his actress-mom’s look in the film. “Yugi made a face, saying, ‘I don’t like you in these clothes. Change! You don’t look like my mother’,” she chuckles. However, her mother, veteran actress Tanuja, couldn’t help but draw parallels between Kajol as Savitribai and her great grandmother, the late actress Rattan Bai. “Even I was amazed to see how much I resembled her. Subconsciously, I remember my great grandmother, grandmother (Shobhana Samarth) and mother wearing nauvaris and decking up in traditional jewellery for weddings. When I draped the nine yards, there was a different person staring back at me in the mirror. I felt an amazing sense of connect with my ancestors,” Kajol says.

Joining Yug in his disapproval of his mother’s taste is his elder sister, Nysa. “She thinks I have the worst Instagram account on earth. She will go, ‘Mom, you don’t know how to caption. Nobody talks like this!’ All I say is that it’s me and not someone posing to be me. At least I am laughing at my own jokes, baaki ke log hase na hase, kya fark padta hai. I know me, I have to keep it fun because if I get sick of it, you’ll see a post declaring, ‘I am signing off social media’,” she concludes with her signature chuckle.

Nayandeep Rakshit (DNA; January 21, 2019)

Ajay Devgn and Kajol will soon share screen space in their ambitious production venture Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior. But much before the period saga hits screens, the husband and wife have teamed up for a cause. They have become ambassadors of Hindustan Unilever’s latest campaign, Start a Little Good. They kick-started it on Saturday with a clean-up drive — Plastic Banega Fantastic — which is aimed at its recycling and sustainable use. We caught up with the B-Town power couple on the sidelines of the event for a candid chat. Excerpts…

This cause is revolutionary in its own way. What were your first thoughts when you were told about it?
Kajol: I felt it’s a fabulous way to make people conscious about segregating plastic. It’s about telling them that there’s a reason why you should do it and the common man needs to be educated about it. It’s just about putting the plastic containers and trash into a bag separately. And it can only be recycled if we separate it.

Do you agree that this can become an alternative solution to the plastic ban?
Ajay: Plastic ban is good, but only till a point. But its usage can’t stop completely. So, we should try and make sure we don’t use those single-use plastics. Whatever can be recycled should be done. I also don’t think people know what to put where, when there are three different bins. That’s something we need to educate people about.
K: This initiative was started last year and 23,000 tonnes of plastic was segregated to recycle and reuse. That’s where the whole idea stemmed from.
A: If we want our future generations to use it in future, we need to teach them how they can do it sustainably.

How informed are your children — Nysa and Yug — when it comes to such causes?
K: No child is going to stand up and say, ‘I want to do this differently’, unless they see their parents doing it differently. We have to be responsible parents to teach them how to do it.

The campaign is called ‘Start A Little Good.’ Professionally, you both have had terrific starts, too...
K: My first film, Bekhudi (1992) didn’t work (laughs).
A: We’ve been very lucky. I didn’t have to struggle a lot, especially where work is concerned. I have worked hard, but that’s a different thing altogether.
K: I never considered it a struggle or a career either. It was something that happened to me and I went ahead with the flow. I had a great time working and met some of the most amazing people through this journey. I still think of my work as my playtime. My work is at home. This is time away from it.

How does it feel to share screen space again after so many years in Tanhaji?
A: It’s extremely normal for us. We are just going to work. We have done it earlier. It’s a home production, so things are easier as well. The excitement and nervousness will start only when we gear up for release.

From the ’90s, actresses like you and Tabu are still relevant today and Ajay, you’re working with both of them now...
A: Age has got nothing to do with art and relevance. When you’re a good performer, you will work all your life. Nobody can stop you. If you’re there only because of your looks, then you fade out. Performance never fades out, it only grows.
K: I’m relevant because I believe that I’m relevant today. My on-screen and off-screen personalities have played a huge role in it. It has grown with age — I have matured and I’m way smarter than what I was at 16. I’m way more beautiful now, so I’m bound to be relevant in present times.

Finally, when people talk about the star system fading away, does the thought intimidate you?
A: No. The audience has definitely become very choosy. They will only go for a good product, which is a great thing actually. It will keep everyone on their toes. We used to do films left, right and centre and they used to work as well. But not in today’s times. So, the rest of the actors after our generation are very careful. It’s product to product.
K: I guess the words star and fame cannot be put together anymore. People are famous today, but there are very few stars.

Kajol on husband, kids, Nysa and Yug, what makes her stressed and what makes the #MeToo revelations important
Roshmila Bhattacharya (MUMBAI MIRROR; October 8, 2018) 

After all the monosyllabic “hmmms”, the oft-repeated clichés and evasive denials which remind you of a fizzy drink gone flat, Kajol is like a glass of champagne which leaves you bubbling with laughter. She’s fun, frank and believes that if you have to have a conversation, the trusted landline is better than a skittish cell phone connection. It’s good to have her back on screen, though the appearances have been few and far between since she took a break from showtime to be wife and mommy when at the peak of her career. “Hey, hang on, I’ve yet to reach the peak,” she interrupts, pointing out that unlike Eela, the protagonist of her upcoming film, Helicopter Eela, she hasn’t missed out on anything in the years between. “I was chilling with friends, I had my knitting and my books, life has been a roller-coaster rather than a bumpy helicopter ride. I hate helicopters anyway, for that matter any mode of air transport, and only get on a plane if absolutely necessary.”

Woah, a star who doesn’t have her head up in the clouds but has her feet firmly planted on the ground! So, what’s been her biggest high so far? “My kids, they bring me so much joy. One of my biggest highs was when my daughter (Nysa) started walking, rather late actually at 14 months. Even now, when she does well in her exams, I am screaming from the rooftop. And when my son (Yug) uses a really long and awesome word, I know he’s a genius!” she announces with undisguised maternal pride.

Years ago, Sharmila Tagore had admitted that her on-screen sons, John Abraham and Akshay Kumar, were far politer than her real-life son. The revelation is greeted by a hoot of laughter with Kajol informing that her children have no choice but to be polite with her. “Even Riddhi (Sen) who plays my son in the film is really cool and it was like working with a friend without the guilt that I carried to the sets when my own kids were younger. My recurring nightmare is having to rescue my kids and running away with them, I wake up gasping for air. Nysa and Yug are my world and that’s why I think all parents will connect with Eela because while we may all show our love in different ways, this is the only love that is pure and unconditional,” she points out.

The actress goes, remembering how Dada (director Pradeep Sarkar) had announced over the mike one day at the shoot that Riddhi had won the National Award for Best Actor. “We all clapped and cheered, and I pointed out that mera beta bante hi he’d bagged the coveted honour. After that we made sure it never went to his head,” she jokes.

Besides Riddhi, it’s evident that she shares a great bond with her director whom she’s known for a decade and done a few ads with before. “Dada’s sense of humour is legendary. He will tell the funniest jokes with a deadpan expression and is the first one to laugh at them. He works araam se, yet manages to take out something you hadn’t realised you had in you. With so many Bengalis around on the set, I felt closer to my roots,” she beams, admitting that like every year, she’s looking forward to the Mukherjees’ Durga Puja. “Only, earlier it was right opposite my house, this year, the venue has changed, but nothing will keep me away,” she asserts.

The conversation veers to Ajay Devgn and whether it’s easier having a husband for a producer. “It is,” she acknowledges. “Ajay gave me a lot of creative leeway and it was comforting having him as the producer. He’s a very solid and dependable human being. If he’s behind you, you know he will never let you down. He’s also very dildaar, a far better person than me for sure.” That’s high praise for her better half.

And what does she like about Ajay as an actor? Her reply is prompt, “His honesty. You believe he can actually uproot a lamp post, race a jeep and beat 20 baddies to pulp even though I have never seen him pull out a lamp post in real life. His honesty shines through films like Raid and also in comedies which are somewhat unfamiliar territory for him. My kids prefer to watch Ajay’s films over mine because I cry too much and that upsets them. They tell me I should do films like papa’s Golmaal.”

You wonder if either of her children are showing signs of following in the footsteps of their parents? “Nysa’s focus right now is her board exams. She’s stressed about them right now and that makes me stressed and when I’m stressed Ajay gets stressed too, so right now we’re a stressed family,” she shares, sounding anything but stressed. And what about Yug, going by the video she posted a while ago of him in the gym, he’s a natural born talent? “He’s only eight, too young to decide what he wants from life. He loves watching YouTube and talks of having his own channel. He also loves music and shares great music with me while Nysa has got me on the social media, telling me it’s really important to take my brand forward for which I’m eternally grateful,” she says earnestly.

Kajol was known to be a firebrand in her teenage years but she admits she’s changed a lot since, has grownup and is more refined. “I’m like a stone in the river. The water has smoothed out some of the rough edges but not all. Some remain, I haven’t reached nirvana yet and not likely to in this life,” she laughs.

The laughter dies out when you bring up the subject of #MeToo revelations that are shaking up our world on a daily basis. “It’s good that women are finally talking and publicly pulling up some people. It’s not going to take away the pain and shame they faced in the past. but by speaking up, they can try and ensure that this doesn’t happen to others in the future. Younger people, and I’m not being gender specific here, will know where to draw the line. They will know when to stand up and say, ‘So far but no further,’” she points out.

Talking about the future, is a collaboration with Karan Johar on the cards given that it will soon be two decades of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? Or will it be Tanaji with Ajay next? “I have no clue. I’m talking to peole, reading lots of scripts, but haven’t signed anything yet. Right now, I’m like Krishna’s Meera, I am only jappoing Eela, 24x7. I’m like a 7-Eleven shop that’s selling only product,” she hangs up with a laugh.

Nayandeep Rakshit (DNA; October 6, 2018)

Kajol's next outing, Helicopter Eela, is less than a week away from hitting the screens. The film sees her in the protagonist’s role, which reflects the changing norm in Bollywood that doesn’t place the spotlight only on younger heroines anymore. Always known to be unabashed and unapologetic about her opinion, the actress tells us why she thinks this trend is beneficial for actresses of all ages. She also gives her take on the housewife vs working mother debate and explains how a supportive family can make the biggest difference. Over to her...

Last year, there was a debate when Mira Rajput said that she cannot be a working mother. What’s your take on it?
I think it’s a personal choice, as to when you feel ready to go back to work. I had a working mother (Tanuja) all through my life, but I don’t feel any less close to her or love her any lesser. It’s something that every woman faces and acts upon. Some choose to work while others don’t; your children would respect you equally, whether you are at home baking cookies or in office finishing assignments.

In the film, the mother gives up on her dreams. Do you have an unfulfilled desire of continuing to work?
Not really, because I have been really lucky in that respect. If I wanted to do something, I pretty much did it. My dream was to stay at home and take care of my kids and I did. When I wanted to work, I did. Yes, but I do want to travel to different places that I haven’t been able to. I want to take my children with me and I’ll make that happen as well. So, there are no desires that are unfulfilled, but there are a lot of wishes that I’ve to act upon.

Would you credit your supportive family for the same?
Yes, along with my husband Ajay (Devgn), I have my mother-in-law and mother to thank the most. My ma-in-law told me, ‘Beta, aap tension mat lo. Aap kaam pe jao. Hum hain na. Hum kis liye hain?’ Nobody put an obstacle in my way. Maybe because they also knew I’d probably overcome those hurdles. Nobody even tried, so I was lucky.

Roles being written for women today defy pre-conceived notions. Comment.
I think it’s a reflection of what our society is saying today. Films have always been and will be that. When you have a film like Wonder Woman doing so well, it’s because people now believe that a woman can also save the world. There’s a subtext in female-oriented films being made now. Suddenly, the society has started looking at the feminine gender in a different way. That’s why there have been such roles of late, whether a Tumhari Sulu (2017) or a Dum Laga Ke Haisha (2015). We’re accepting them. It’s not only a question of writing a film anymore; it’s about the movie being viewed by a wider audience and raking in money.

Do you think box-office numbers have given producers more confidence to make such films?
Absolutely! The audience has changed. They are willing to put their money where their mouth is. Finally, we have a much wider female audience that says, ‘I’ll watch it with all my girlfriends’. Maybe they didn’t have too many choices earlier. We are a service-based industry and make films for the audience. It’s not a home video meant for our personal collection.

Is there a change of perception towards married actresses as well?
We are talking about woman empowerment. Somewhere down the line, I believe we have to change the perspective we have of ourselves. Do you really believe that when you are married, everything is dead and over? If you believe that, then it will happen. We have had Meena Kumari, Saira Banu, Sharmila Tagore, my mother, Sridevi, Madhuri Dixit-Nene and Kareena Kapoor Khan, too, today. So this is a myth. It has nothing to do with whether women are married or not. It’s about the type of roles that change. Once you tie the knot, people just expect more from you, as a society. You have to take that into consideration when you are picking up a role or a film. And it’s not difficult.

That’s something you’ve done efficiently. Is there something you’d consciously stay away from?
I honestly don’t see myself doing three scenes and a song or a pointless film anymore. If I have to do just one scene, it has to be the most fantastic, amazing one ever. People should be left like, ‘Oh, my God!’ That’s what I will do. I did inconsequential stuff at one point. That was a conscious decision then. But not anymore, not in this space of things at least.

Do you think the digital revolution has also brought better projects for actors of all ages?
Most definitely. Earlier, if you joined films, there was nothing else you could do. You either succeeded at a spectacular rate or you failed miserably and couldn’t do anything with your life. With digital media, there are so many other productive things you can do rather than just being an actor. It’s given you that much security.

Are you open to doing a digital-only film or series?
I’d love to. I just want to act and not restrict myself to a particular medium. I’ve been offered web series and TV shows. But things haven’t worked out for different reasons. I hope it does at some point.

Roshni Olivera (BOMBAY TIMES; October 6, 2018)

She chose to tie the knot at 24 when she was at the peak of her career. She could have continued to be a part of the race even post that, but she preferred to focus on her family. That’s Kajol, who believes in setting her own benchmark when it comes to her life and career. And why not? It has worked superbly for her. Even after completing 25 years in Bollywood, she has the zest and enthusiasm of a newcomer. She takes her time to pick and choose just the kind of films that excite her. In a candid chat with BT, the actress speaks about her upcoming film Helicopter Eela, the relationship she shares with her kids and the lessons she has learnt from her mother Tanuja. Excerpts…

Your film was originally supposed to be titled Eela. How did it change to Helicopter Eela? Helicopter parenting is an American concept...
I don’t know about American parenting concept, but it’s definitely Indian parenting. It’s about overprotective parents, who are constantly hovering around their kids, asking them if they have eaten or not, what time they will be back from school etc. That’s just our way of parenting. Eela is probably a little more than that. But whatever she does, stems out of her love for her son.

How did this film come to you? Was Ajay (Devgn) looking for a good script to produce for you?
Nothing like that happened. Anand Gandhi and Mitesh Shah (writers) approached me saying that they had this script, which they wanted me to hear. When I heard it, I thought it was fabulous and fortunately for me, my husband also heard the script with me. He said, ‘If you like it so much, we will produce it.’ It’s one of those films that I instantly liked and said, ‘I am doing it. Nobody else is doing it!’ Eela is adventurously funny. The film has comedy and at the same time, it has a message. It’s about the relationship of a child with the mother, who’s a single parent. That kind of a relationship is deep and you know that it’s just the both of you against the whole world. You may fight with your mother and not like some of the things that she does, but if someone comes and says anything to her, you will be the first one to stand up for her. That’s exactly the relationship between Eela and her son.

In real life, has there been a time when your kids have complained about you being an overbearing mom?
Yes, of course, and I don’t think I would be a good enough parent if I wasn’t overbearing and overprotective at times. Putting it in the nicest way possible, you can’t always look at it from a child’s point of view. When you are in a parent’s seat, you have enormous responsibility on your shoulders and this is something you can’t fail at. You can fail at a lot of things in life, probably even things like your career or marriage and still bear it with some sort of dignity. But if you fail as a parent, it can be devastating. You can’t accept that you have failed at raising your child well. It’s a difficult pill to swallow.

Parenting is not easy, but do you think it’s even tougher in this day and age of social media, when children have so many other distractions? Also, how do you assert yourself as a parent without coming across as overbearing?
It’s difficult, because we can’t accept the fact that our children are different from what we were at that age. If you look at your child and say, ‘I never did this when I was seven years old’ it’s not going to work, because you were not in the same era or circumstances when social media was so dominant. Instead of putting your kids down or trying to put them in their place, you will have to figure out what their place really is. You have to put yourself in their shoes once in a while to understand that they think differently, and the fact that they will not be you. Whether they are watching television or are on the internet, how much can you control that? You will have to take it one day at a time, one channel or one mouse click at a time, literally, to figure out how to work out your relationship with them.

What’s Ajay’s role when it comes to parenting?
One of the biggest roles he plays is that he supports me completely in whatever I say, whatever rules I lay down. Like, if I say no gadgets for the next two weeks, he's very clear and tells them your mom has said it. I have 100 per cent support in that regard. There are times where he turns around and disciplines the kids, too, so it isn’t just me disciplining them. We play good cop, bad cop equally.

We have spoken about you as a mother. What about Kajol, the daughter? Growing up, what was the rapport you shared with your mom?
My mother is wonderful. I had an amazing upbringing and I thank her for it, especially after having my own kids. I always look back at what she taught me as a child, and I tell her that I love the way she handled things, especially simple things like talking to one’s kids about social responsibility, God, death and souls. My mother didn’t sit down to explain to me, but spoke about it freely in front of me. It was something we accepted as a part of life, and hence, as a grown-up, while dealing with certain situations, my reactions are not that of shock or disbelief, because it’s been drilled into me from a young age. I may not have listened to it at that time and even felt like ‘Oh God, she is at it again’. I had that attitude as well, but today, I see how it has helped me. I remember my mother telling me, ‘When you get angry, the other person wins. Do you really want that to happen?’ I used to get so frustrated then, but now when I am older, I can see that what she said, all along, was right. This is just one of the many things. I always tell her that she was gutsy, brave and out-of-the-box as a parent and I really hope that I can emulate her as far as my kids are concerned.

You have been a part of Bollywood for over 25 years. How do you react to comments like, ‘We have grown up watching your films’?
I tell them that I was really young when I started! It may seem a lot to somebody else, but when I look at it, I tell myself, ‘That’s it? You have done just some 30-odd films.’ I should have probably done around 100. But I feel my life has a lot more in it today and it’s not just about movies. It’s about my personal life, having a family and raising two kids. I am more complete and I feel more fulfilled than I did 26 years ago.

It’s assumed that you are not really ambitious…
I’d say that I am ambitious in a different way. I did good work and I still do films that I believe in. It’s all worked out well for me. Honestly, if I had done a film just for the sake of doing it or just because I had nothing better to do, it would have taken the sheen off it. I wouldn’t have liked that. I like the pace I am at and the fact that I can take a break from work and go on a holiday if I want to, look after my family and take care of myself. I like the space I am in.

What about teaming up with Ajay as a co-star for a film?
If we have to do a film together, it will have to be something that suits us both as people. We have been seen on screen and off screen for years now. The fact is that we have been married for 19 years. So we will have to keep all the parameters in mind.

What do your kids think about your performances in films?
My kids don’t talk about my acting abilities! They talk about my acting skills off screen more than on screen (laughs!). According to my daughter, I am highly dramatic, but I say that’s the way I am. It’s not drama, it’s normal. Also, my kids don’t like me crying, even if it’s on screen. I think it upsets them. They don’t like that.

26 years in films, Bollywood's fourth-generation actor walks down memory lane
Mayank Shekhar (MID-DAY; September 15, 2018)

We watch her every couple of years or so on screen (her next film, Pradeep Sarkar's Helicopter Eela is round the corner). Over a career spanning 26 years, she's done 38 movies, a rather restricted filmography - if you compare, say, to young Taapsee Pannu, 29, who already has 37 credits on her IMDb profile.

Full-time mom, wife - that films come naturally to her is a given. She is the fourth generation female actor in her family (from mother Tanuja's side). We'd traced her fascinatingly inter-generational paternal roots in Bollywood, on Sit with Hitlist, with actor Rani Mukerji. But Mukerji is her second-cousin. We start this interview therefore with:

Who is Mayuri?
She is my mama's [Jaideep Samarth's] daughter. We lived with my mama and mami for a long time. So I've grown up with Mayuri, and her sister Madhura. They are Townies [from South Mumbai]. You might just know them. So be careful with what you say.


Kajol gets chatty at the latest edition of Sit with Hitlist

We spoke to your first director Rahul Rawail (Bekhudi, 1992) earlier, to trace your journey into films. He told us he first saw you at Gautam Rajadhyaksha's photo studio. Rajadhyaksha had written the script for Bekhudi. They were looking to cast the female lead. Mayuri was therefore at the studio for a photo session. You were accompanying her. But Rawail looked, and decided to cast you instead!
Yes, pretty much, that's how I joined films. It was just a question of right place, right time, and right people. Mayuri was supposed to get her pictures clicked. I went over to hold her hand. She wanted to get into films. I'd seen my mom, and how hard she worked. I didn't want to work that hard.

So we were sitting around, talking. Gautam was like, "Why don't you get your pictures clicked as well? Mickey (Contractor) is there to do your makeup." Mickey and I got along the minute we met. He, like Gautam, adopted me. And Rahul uncle saw the photographs, and offered me a film.

I'd like to add that Mayuri went on to do an ad. And she didn't like it at all. She came back from the shoot and said, "I'm so not getting into this." On the other hand, I shot for the film, and had a great time.

When offered the role, you apparently said, "Hey, I don't mind"?
Well, I had two months' summer vacation in college. I was told we would shoot in Canada, and a little bit in Bombay, as per my college schedule. I said, "Cool, I don't mind!"

"I don't mind" is a pretty easy way to get into any profession, no?
Yes, but I didn't think of it as a decision. It was just a try - a sample sachet, almost, that you get at a shop. I remember my dad saying, "Ek bar chuna lag gaya toh lag gaya. Nikalne wala nahin hai. Toh soch lo. (Once you wear the paint, it never goes off)." I said, "What nonsense. What difference does it make if I do a film, or not." But, I loved/enjoyed my film. And the next one came along, and then I questioned whether college was worth it - might as well go along with this; that's exactly what I did.



The other thing Rawail told us is how you fell off the first floor during your shoot, and became (temporarily) blind!
Yes, we - Rinku, the first AD, who's Rahul uncle's niece - literally tumbled down the slippery stairs from the mess-hall after dinner. We were doing something like 18 hours (shift) a day; obviously not in the best frame of mind. Fortunately, I fell on top of Rinku. She really got hurt.

What he said was that she actually fell on you. You went in the emergency room, came out half hour later, perfectly fine, while Rinku was being wheeled out!
Yes, she did come out in a wheelchair. I couldn't see a thing. Everything was just white. I probably had a concussion. So here we were in a foreign country, with these two young girls in emergency room. Rahul uncle must have thrown a sh** fit, wondering what's going to happen to his film.

And to you?
No, he must have thought about his film first, for sure.

During Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (KKHH), you similarly fell off a cycle, and (temporarily) lost your memory?
I've got a hard head; what to do? It keeps hitting, and nothing happens permanently. I think my morbid sense of humour comes from that! My mom tells me about how, as a kid, I would keep falling, and that it didn't matter. I'm sturdy that way.

Getting back to the accidental beginnings of your career; and a whole bunch of movies thereafter. You talk about being your harshest critic. We all have an opinion on what your best films have been. Is there any performance that you remember to be your worst?
I don't know if I've had a 'worst performance', touchwood. I've been pretty honest to my work throughout, whether I've believed in them, or not. There's always been a standard.

A basic minimum, you mean? How about your under-rated best then?
I've had a basic standard, yes. And it goes far above sometimes, and remains at that level most of the time. I think one of my best performances was in a film called Udhaar Ki Zindagi (1994), which I loved. But it didn't do very well at the box-office. It took so much out of me that I actually reached a crisis point, and told my mom, "I'm not doing movies anymore, which require me to cry, or do anything very heavy. I want to play an ornament, have three scenes, four songs. That's it. I'm just drained." After that, I signed on Hulchul, Gunda Raj, even Karan Arjun, for that matter. While shooting with Shah Rukh for Baazigar, I remember him telling me: "You know, babe, you've got to learn how to act. This honesty won't take you very far. You've got to learn the technique of acting as well."

You mean an element of detachment?
No, just technique - to not put 100 per cent of yourself into every shot. You have to learn how to pull back, and use your technique instead. That's what's going to help me in the long run. And I was like, "I'm doing alright so far, no? Why do you want to unnecessarily jinx it? Shoot is going well. Stop getting so detailed about it!"

But when Udhaar Ki Zindagi actually happened, I remember going back to what he had said, and thinking, "Sh**, he was right." That's when my process of learning started - on how to do things in a not-so-instinctive manner, but in a predictable, and thought-out manner instead.

Surprising that you had to learn this by yourself (or from Shah Rukh). Your mum had been an actor for years. As had your aunt, Nutan, for that matter.
But I wasn't one to go on sets. Also my mum, especially, kept work out of the house. At home, more than work, we'd discuss people. She'd talk about Raj Kapoor, and the people she had worked, or was working with - never the actual work itself. That's also something Ajay (Devgn) and I follow at home. Work is just something we do; we don't sit and analyse it.

Glad you mentioned Raj Kapoor. For, your family (from mother's side) is the female equivalent to Kapoor clan. Your great-grandmother, grandmother, mother, and now you, all have been actors. Can you take us through that (piece of history), starting with Rattan Bai, your great-grandmother, who became an actor at 40, only two years before your grandmother?
Honestly, I won't be able to take you through that, because I knew them as just my great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother. And they were amazing women. I didn't pay as much attention to what they did on screen, as what they did off it.

My mumma, as I would call my great-grandmother, was this awesome, strong, lucid, intelligent woman, even at the age of 80. She was 86, when she died. I was 11 or 12 then. I was closest to her. She barely ever left the house, but always knew what was happening in the kitchen, and in everybody's lives.

Then there was my grandmother (Shobhana Samarth) - again a very driven, practical, and strong personality. She was all about what works, and what doesn't. And I had my mother (Tanuja), who I really respect for the way she's handled her life, and the strength she exudes to stand up and say, "So far, no further." As for what she wants to do, she's ready to stand up and say, "Okay, I'm ready to face the consequences, and make my own path."

Give us an example?
It's a silly example, but so typically her. I saw her picture once and said, "Mom, you wore a lungi to a party?" She was like, "So cool it was. I had them stitched myself. They were stylish, super-comfortable, the slits were…." And I couldn't get over the fact that she wore a lungi to a party!

She did things her way. Automatically, when you see that, there's a much stronger learning experience than her telling me so. My mom, for instance, had a bad habit of abusing. She had the best gaalis ever, and she was known for them. On set, people would actually poke her till she turned around and delivered her famous gaalis. And then they'd be like, 'Haan, ab din achcha chalega!"

One day, she told us, 'You can't say sh**." I went, "But you abuse all the time." She was like, "Okay, I won't do it from now." And she gave it up. She put a swear-jar at home, put money every time she abused by mistake. That was another fabulous learning experience. She could have easily said, "Listen to me, because I tell you so," which are the most famous mother-words ever.

Every time I had a question as a child, she either had an answer for it, or went outside and found one that was acceptable to me. Even the fact of her marriage with my father - I remember asking, "Why can't you and dad be together?" She said, "As adults, we're better people, when we're not with each other!" And I said, "Okay, that makes sense." So she had an answer for every question, about the meaning of life, or death, when my relatives were passing away.

What did she tell you about death?
To never be scared. That the body gets old, but soul is eternal. Of course, one has to trade up for a better packaging, a newer version.


The actor gifts a goodie bag to her fan and mid-day reader

You also had an extremely strong grandmother. She in fact directed your mother's first film, Hamari Beti.
I remember her as a firebrand. She was 65 and would drive up to my boarding school in Panchgani once a month, in her battered Ambassador car, Friday evenings, and take me for my dental check-up to Pune, drop me off to school on Sunday, and drive back to Bombay the same day. My mother was busy working. She took care of me in every way she could. She was driving till she was 85, in this bright blue Maruti 800 in Lonavala. She had six dogs, big house, and lived all by herself. She would drive to the market, get groceries. She was known as the Queen of Lonavala. These are the independent women I have seen all my life. And they never spoke about women's empowerment.

So that's about the Samarth-Mukerji family. By the way, is there a reason why you don't keep a surname?
I was too confused about whether it should be Mukerji (from father's side), or Samarth-Mukerji. I told dad, let's not keep a surname. Just Kajol is good, because I didn't want anyone to associate anything with me. I knew there would be huge expectations: Tanuja's daughter, Shobhana Samarth's granddaughter. My father's side has an entirely separate lineage. Everyone in film industry either knew me, or were related to me!

So what's your name on the passport?
Kajol Devgn, after marriage; before that, it was Kajol Mukerji.

Stepping back to your career, you've had definitive milestones. The most recent one, last year, was when you did your second Tamil film (VIP 2) since Minsara Kanavu (Sapnay, 1997). Is it true that Hindi film actors down South rattle one, two, three, four, instead of actual dialogue; and get away with it?
You can, probably. But I didn't want to, even when I did Sapnay. An actor always takes pride in their performance. You have to live up to that standard. Dhanush and Soundarya (in VIP 2) helped me manage my lines, and rehearse well. First three days were tough. He (Dhanush) was prompting from one end, and I was saying lines at the other, whilst trying to keep the look right. Soon, I got into a rhythm. There was a pattern, and I was beginning to understand a bit of what I was saying. My pronunciation was pretty good too. I am good with reproducing sounds. Okay, that sounds really wrong! It just got easier with time.

What are the languages you know? Which one do you think in?
I think in English. I speak English, Hindi, Marathi, and can understand Bengali.

A reason I bring up your South film is because few weeks ago marked 20 years of Mani Ratnam's Dil Se. And you had turned down that film. Why?
Because the dates were not working out. I did (want to work with Mani Ratnam), and God willing, will. We are both active in movies. I had signed on KKHH. Karan had SRK's dates, and he would have had to cancel the schedule, because he had bulk-dates from everyone. Karan was very generous to suggest, "Go! You are getting a chance to work with Mani Ratnam. Who am I??" I didn't feel it was the right thing to do.

So the story goes that Mani Ratnam called you up, and you thought it was a crank call?
I put up a retro-picture on my Instagram (recently), sitting on a car bonnet, which is when Mani Ratnam called, and I thought Shah Rukh was pulling a fast one. I laughed and put the phone down. Then Shah Rukh called to say, "Baby, it's really him. He's trying to call you!" I was like, "Oh damn!" It was a rocky start!

That's 1998. You do KKHH. In 1999, you get married. By 2001, it's clear you won't have as many releases in a year?
I took that call in 1999 itself. People said I was at the peak of my career. But I have never understood what peak is. I was just exhausted by the pace of doing four films a year - running from Hyderabad, Bombay, Panchgani, to Switzerland, London. That's not life. It's 'gadha-mazdoori' (donkey-work). I wanted to get married. It was the right age. I had been working for 10 years. It was the right thing to do.

You decided to become seriously choosy?
I was picky, always. And then came a time when I didn't want to do more than one, max two, films in a year. I wanted to take it easy, chill, take a six-month break. It gave me perspective and thus earned me more appreciation.

You had a five-year break after Toonpur Ka Superhero (2010). What made you pick Dilwale (2015), of all films, to return with?
I loved my character in the film: her graph, and how she was portrayed. There was an unexpected twist in the plot. It was a full-blown love story, but I was sold on that scene where she tries to kill him (love-interest). I also did the film, because of the way it was going to be put together.

Do you remember films you've said no to, and not because of dates?
Lots! For me, it has not always been about the script so much. There are other factors too, besides script: good director, producer; in that order. I have to like people I work with, to be in a place where I say, this is not working, let's redo it. A good film is not possible if there is no communication between departments. To have the freedom to talk [to colleagues] necessarily enhances work.

Speaking of people, there's Karan Johar you've evidently loved working with. Why did you say no to Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna [KANK]?
He wanted to shoot KANK in New York for 90 days. I said I can't. My husband would leave me, if I decided to go off for three months, leaving my little daughter alone. Karan sweetly let me pass, and made the film he wanted to.

Also, it doesn't matter how many films you do in a year. In Mumbai, at least, there's always one running at a theatre: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (DDLJ), no? Have you thought about why it still strikes a chord across generations?
It is now like a family heirloom. People pass it on (over generations). I meet people who watched it, when they got married. It was also the first film they showed their kids. Good films are timeless. They are about what they make you feel. DDLJ still makes you cry; and will continue to work.

Did any of you predict/know about its likely impact?
Not even Adi [director Aditya Chopra]. We didn't even know if it would do well. All Adi kept saying was, "Mujhe hit picture banani hai." It was his takia-kalam (standard refrain). He thought, with DDLJ, he was making a cool version of a 'tapori' film, shot in tabelas and mountain tops with chiffon sarees, in snow-banks.



There's also the trivia about Adi Chopra originally looking to cast Tom Cruise in DDLJ!
He did want that. That's a wish list. Every director has one. After that we come back to earth. We are like, "Apne desh ke hero ko lete hain! (Let's take a local hero)." In his head, he probably had Tom Cruise, with Meg Ryan (starring) opposite. I doubt Meg would have a 'Bauji' in her life (laughs).

In many ways, the film also spoke about how you can turn around people's thoughts, and judgments.
I like the fact that it was not about rebelling, which is synonymous with youth. It talked about respecting a parent's love. Raj has this scene where he clearly says it's unfair to take away one's daughter in such a manner. It went against what the youth was saying then. Which was the twist in that tale.

There is also that larger romantic film idea of soul-mate. It's worked over generations. You've been married for 19 years; do you believe in the idea?
I was lucky to have found someone I love. And I do believe in soul-mates, who you may not always instantly recognise. They are found over time. It starts with a connection. One day, you turn around, and the veil comes off. You realise he was the one all along. Sometimes it may take a month to realise this, sometimes 40 years!

How long did it take you?
Three hours! We were shooting (the film Hulchul) in an ugly garage. He was sitting on an ugly chair, far away, smoking. I was bitching about him not being friendly at all. We started shooting. I had to slap him. He had to dramatically hold my hand. I knew there was something.

To trace your real-life romance, we basically have to watch (Anees Bazmee's) Hulchul (1995) and find the moment where Ajay Devgn stops you from slapping!
And at that moment, there was a voice in my head saying that this person is going to be really important [in my life]. It was an instinct. I was already going around with someone else. So was he. We were just acquaintances sitting on the chair beside each other, working on the same film. Of course we finished the film, and signed up another one, three months later. That was the phase where I didn't want to do anything in a film. So I did Gunda Raj (1995) with him. Towards the end of that shoot, our relationship began.

That's for personal life. Speaking of profession, how did you and (your top on-screen partner) Shah Rukh Khan meet; did you have a hunch you were going to become the 'it' couple?
We met on the sets of Baazigar (1993). Like the rest of the unit, he was so hung-over. It was January 1.

Why would you work on January 1?
Because Shah Rukh had this stupid belief that if he works on the year's first day, he would (get to) work throughout the year! So we land up on the sets. [Directors] Abbas bhai, Mustan bhai, and I are the only people sober, and happy to work. Everybody else is like, "Let's just do easy shots, with minimum dialogue. Don't drag chairs loudly, or push the table hard!" That was the vibe on the set.
I was completely oblivious to the fact that it's January 1. For me, it was just another day. And as you must have noticed, I do not speak at a regular tone. If I have to make my point, the volume gets louder. So I was howling, shouting in Marathi, which was an alien language to him [Shah Rukh]. His make-up man was Maharashtrian. I was bitching to him about what kind of a boss he had - sitting in a corner, head down, completely morose. Shah Rukh was giving me stares that clearly meant, "Somebody shut her up!" I was putting him through maximum torture. Later we sat down, and I was like, "Hi, how are you?" He told me, "Don't you ever stop talking?" And I was like, "Why should I stop talking? I have to speak the lines - check this long [piece of] paper. Let's start rehearsing." Then, of course, he started talking as well. And once Shah Rukh starts, it is difficult to wind him [down]!

If he wasn't an actor, Shah Rukh could have easily been a spiritual guru, with all the gyaan on life!
Love guru (laughs).

From what I hear, if one met you in the '90s, they'd be scared to even interview you, if you agreed to be interviewed at all!
You should be scared today as well. I am much older (laughs).

As public figures, do you sense that contrast between you and SRK?
Yes, I do. But it didn't make much of a difference. There's a strange bonding-experience you have when you are working with a person for  so long. Of course I was [aloof], and I am [like that] even today - very guarded about my privacy. I am not social. I don't attend parties. I don't drink, and so I find it difficult to go to the bar, and ask for coffee. But over time, we [Shah Rukh and I] became friends. And we've known each other for really long, which counts for itself.

Have you ever been able to decode the on-screen chemistry?
I've never tried. I don't know what works. I feel it has a lot to do with our on-screen history - the fact that we both chose some good films together, and few of them happened to be love stories. When you see love stories succeed, [as an audience] you tend to believe that when the couple comes back [on screen], they will fall in love again. We have put that myth into everybody's heads! Honestly, I would like to believe that we are good actors (laughs)!

How important is it for you to like your co-star?
It's important, but not necessary. I think a good actor can fake it, and a lot of the time, does. I also think that when there is somebody that you like in front of you, it's much easier [to fake it].
For instance, in Helicopter Eela, Riddhi [Sen; my co-star] is a well brought-up boy, and he plays my son. So there is [already] a lot of body-language between us that would have been missing, if he had been an obnoxious kid.

There are YouTube jokes on your uni-brow. Can you laugh at yourself, and enjoy such things? [Audience]
I don't know the joke, but if there are, then kudos. Honestly, I don't think it's worth the trouble [going through them]. I am glad that it [uni-brow] has become a statement, and that I don't have to go through the hassle of getting rid of it. I'm okay with it.

But that's what a whole lot of people back then and even now think of you - someone who doesn't give a damn. And that is cool, by definition. But few years back, one noticed, you began caring about how you dress up, for instance. Was that a conscious call?
Yes, it was; and that was only for one reason. My daughter was born. I wasn't working. I was just thinking once about whether I like black, or white, or red. I didn't have an opinion on the subject, despite being one of the most opinionated people around. I didn't know whether I wanted to wear a jeans, or skirt. If I thought about these things, there would just be a big blur. So I set about finding what my opinion was. And, yes, there was a lot of trial and error. I guess a lot of people go through this during their teens. I never did, as I always had someone standing with a hanger, telling me what to wear. I wasn't given a choice, and even if I had been, I wouldn't know how to express it. So I sat down, and realised that it isn't rocket-science. People far dumber than me have been successful [at it].

Your husband mentioned on Sit With Hitlist that he didn't really have an acting process. He comes on set, say his line, and it's done. What about you? [Audience]
No, I don't do any great preparation. So far I haven't had any role out of my [comfort] zone. In my head, I have a graph that I want the character to follow, and I keep building on it. With scenes, I keep an eye on where it falls on the film's timeline.

Did Dushman [1998] take a mental toll on you? [Audience]
It was a tough film. I had initially refused it, when Pooja [Bhatt] and Tanuja [Chandra] came to me. I wasn't comfortable shooting a rape scene. I thought it would take a toll on me, physically. Both of them sat me down, said that being women, they would shoot it aesthetically. That it wouldn't look gory. They promised to shoot with a body-double, which they did; interspersed with one close-up of mine.

Would that be a rare dark film of yours?
Yes. I haven't done too many. Rather, I haven't gone to the dark side yet (laughs). Trust me, it is more difficult to make people laugh than cry. Every actor will tell you that. Also, I don't agree with films that have no hope in the end, and everybody dies. That's not who I am, and it's not the message I want to send across. As actors, I believe we have a superpower to make people feel, and I don't want people to feel that. I'd love to do action, or thriller, but there should be a happy ending, like Mills and Boon!

Which of your characters have you been closest to: Simran [DDLJ] or Anjali [KKHH]? [Audience]
I don't identify with Simran, probably because I didn't have her kind of parents. I can't relate to giving up everything just for a principle. Yes, I did a very good job with the character, but I think I'm more like Anjali, or [Sanjana] in Pyar Toh Hona Hi Tha (1998).

[Final question] Why is your Twitter handle kajol@UN?
Originally the Twitter handle was made for when I was going to speak at the United Nations [on child welfare]. Then it got just too famous to bring it back to Kajol!

(Transcribed by Mohar Basu, Sonil Dedhia and Sonia Lulla)