For Ileana D’Cruz, this pandemic has had a ripple effect on her personal as well as her professional life.

“The pandemic (last year) was a bit hard only because I was away from my family. Losing a member of my family who was so close to me hit me very hard. It made it especially harder because I was away from them all,” she admits.

She says she doesn’t ever want to feel that she didn’t prioritise time with her family. “So now I try and spend most of my time with them and I made a point to spend more time over Christmas and New Years for sure,” adds the actor.

When it comes to her professional goals, D’Cruz feels she is constantly evolving. “I miss work and while spending time with my family was wonderful, I am hungry to get back to work and get back on set soon and do some more unusual challenging work,” confesses the 34-year-old, who was last seen in film, The Big Bull, co-starring Abhishek Bachchan.

Last year, in the middle of the pandemic, she shot Unfair & Lovely with Randeep Hooda. Looking back at her experience of working through a crisis, she says, “I was initially quite worried before going on set, for obvious reasons. The pandemic was initially scary and it was a very uncertain phase. So, I had my reservations but the producers were incredibly accommodating. They ensured and assured me that every precaution would be taken and everyone would be safe.”

Though it took a little while for D’Cruz to get settled, after being back with the rest of the crew and seeing how careful everybody was, “everything just flowed really well and the shoot in fact was a breeze. I was sad when it was over”.

Amid all this, one thing the actor isn’t compromising on is her mental health, which helps her stay calm.

“I keep a check on my mental health as much as I can. Its something always at the back of my head. And I’m glad that mental health is being talked about far more than it used to be,” says the actor, adding that she still thinks there needs to be a more constructive way of addressing it.

“I’m no expert on the subject but I feel there should be probably a school curriculum where it’s compulsory to prioritise mental health. If parents and students and children alike are educated right from the beginning, it can help a lot more because awareness is the first part of solving the problem,” she points out. 

The actress, who recently flew to the US to be with her mother, talks about what the four months of lockdown have made her realise
Onkar Kulkarni (BOMBAY TIMES; August 21, 2020)

Ileana D’Cruz took off to the USA recently after being in Mumbai for over four months, throughout the Coronavirus lockdown. “My family is all scattered. While my father is in Goa, my sister is in Australia and my mother is in the US. It’s been eight months and I haven’t seen my family,” Ileana told BT. With Mumbai in the unlock mode, she recently flew to Houston to be with her mother.

For the actress, who’s been busy with work, the lockdown was a difficult phase. “The time was a lot more complicated for me. I had an interesting year, but I also had a fair bit of difficulties in my personal life,” says Ileana.

Last year, Ileana was in the news for her break-up with photographer-boyfriend Andrew Kneebone. During the lockdown, while she was alone in Mumbai, the actress continued with her therapy sessions. She elaborates, “I thought I needed it. You know doing it is great, but actually putting it to work (to practice it) is the hardest part. And you have to do it on your own. Honestly, for the first time in my life, I have reached a point where I know how I want to be, and how I can better myself as a person. Through the past four-five months, I have understood one thing, that you forget to be kind to yourself, and being kind to yourself does not mean you are being selfish.”

She further adds, “Overall, the therapy sessions have been beneficial. I got to know about what issues I am going through. It takes a while to undergo change. I feel that you can either sit in a well of self-pity and think, ‘Oh my life is miserable’, or you can work on it and do something about it. It is a good thing that people aren’t shunning therapy anymore.”

Ileana DCruz is keeping herself occupied through the lockdown with an 80-day fitness challenge, but wants to take the first flight out to the USA to meet her parents
Ankita Chaurasia (MUMBAI MIRROR; August 10, 2020)

Ileana D’Cruz, like most of us, entered the Coronavirus lockdown thinking she would be confined to her home for a few days. To make the most of the unexpected break, she revisited her love for baking. “I have always wanted to make sourdough bread and it turned out quite good on my first try,” she recalls, adding that as days turned to weeks and then months, she realised she couldn’t sit around eating cakes and breads. “I told myself I’d become a ball by the time it was over—big and round, like those people in Wall-E,” she chuckles.

So, cutting out bread, sugar, and processed food from her diet, the actress switched to simple, easy recipes, experimenting with low-carb dishes and taking on an 80-day fitness challenge to give a much-needed boost to her workout routine. “You don’t see results overnight, but you feel better and more energetic rightaway. I work out in the morning, an hour after breakfast and it preps me up for the rest of the day,” she relays.

Working out has helped Ileana deal with lockdown-induced stress and was a major motivation behind her continuing with the grueling regime. “Being away from family has been taxing. Earlier, working out at the gym with my personal trainer always made me feel good. I was wondering initially if there was enough space for me to move around at home, but once I started, it all came together beautifully,” she exults, admitting the first week is always the most difficult. “I cried every time I stood up or sat down, everything hurt,” she reminisces.

A few weeks ago, she even powered through a fever, but Ileana assures that she ensures she gets enough rest. “We all have days when we feel horrible. Two days ago, I had acid reflux and my stomach was sensitive. I took a couple of days off, but couldn’t wait to get back. Working out is addictive,” she asserts.

With work from home not an option, the actress spends the rest of the day doing laundry, dishes, making lunch, and even manages to squeeze some time out for her hobbies. Though the canvasses didn’t make it to the social media, she has been painting, but ask her if an exhibition is in the offing and she shoots back, “I’m just an amateur, bumbling my way through. If I get better, I might post some of my art on the social media to assess the response before thinking of a show.”

Ileana has also taken up a house improvement project, redecorating an entire room by herself. “I moved the heavy dresser, took out the shelves, and put in new ones. Normally, for such projects, my dad would be around, but this time I had to make do with video calls, asking which way the screws went!” she laughs, adding that though it pushed her to the limits, it helped make her house into a home.

But despite all the fun she’s been having on her own, the actress can’t wait to be reunited with her family in the US. “I’m taking the first flight out. Of course, I’ll have to immediately quarantine myself, but at least after that, I can hug my mom. I have always been close to my family and eight months away from them have been hard,” she reiterates, maintaining that she didn’t stress as much about the pandemic as she did for her family’s safety and well-being.

And when will she be resuming work? “It’s going to be a while, even if the crew is reduced, you need actors and we can’t shoot wearing PPE kits and masks. It’s extremely hard for producers to take care of everyone during the shoot,” she sighs. Meanwhile, her The Big Bull co-star, Abhishek Bachchan, was just discharged from hospital post Covid-19 treatment and it remains to be seen when the makers can resume shoot. Ileana is positive it will happen soon. “Abhishek and I have common acquaintances, who have told me he’s getting better,” she informs.

On June 14, the day Sushant Singh Rajput was found dead in his Bandra apartment, Ileana had taken to the social media to share a heartfelt note that read, “Spent the day in a heavy emotional haze...Bawled my eyes out for hours...I didn’t even know Sushant personally but this hit so close to home it affected me so deeply...” Asserting she didn’t think much before putting up the post, the actress says, “I have gone through mild depression and mental illness. Sometimes it’s really hard for people to relate, perhaps because they haven’t been through this. But would it hurt so much to be kind?” she asks.

Onkar Kulkarni (BOMBAY TIMES; August 2, 2020)

It’s been three years since the release of Mubarakan, and the friendship between the lead actresses of the film, Ileana DCruz and Athiya Shetty, has only grown stronger. This Friendship Day, ‘Athu’ and ‘Ilu-Pilu’ as they fondly address each other, talk to Bombay Times about their camaraderie, what they bond over the most and how good friends help us better ourselves. Read On…

At the time of Mubarakan’s promotion (in 2017), both of you spoke volumes about how you got along with each other. But, given how actors have to quickly move on to their next project, very often, even after sharing a great bond, they don’t end up keeping in touch...
ILEANA: But, we did! I think our no-filter, nojudgment attitude is what bonds us.
ATHIYA: Yes, I agree. It’s also true that actors tend to move on after every project, so I didn’t think that we would stay in touch, but we got together from the word go. I remember, the first time I met her was when I had come for the screening of Rustom (2016). There’s a scene in the film where Ileana’s crying and it left me impressed. I went up to her and said, ‘Hey, you are such a good crier!’ Later, I was like oops… did I just say that, as that was the first time ever that I met her and interacted with her. It could have been a little more formal than that, is what I thought (laughs!).
ILEANA: But, that’s exactly her… no filters! Whatever is on her mind, she says it out loud. It is very rare to meet someone, who you can be yourself with and have no filters. I don’t have to think about what conversation to have with her. I can just be me.
ATHIYA: I feel that from day one, I have been able to trust her. I have told her things about myself and I know that she will keep it to herself. I have always looked up to Ileana for the way she presents herself. She is so full of grace and is a very honest person.

What is it that you bond over the most?
ATHIYA: Predominantly, it’s food! I remember on the first day of the shoot of Mubarakan, Ileana had baked coconut macaroons for me. She is a fantastic baker. Till date, I ask her for recipes, though she knows that I won’t try making them. During the London schedule of the film, we would go out on food outings together. I was like…this is the best co-star ever.
ILEANA: Her room was next to mine and that’s literally how I would get her out of her room. I would drag her out by planning food trails.

Your friends often make you a better person, as there is so much to learn and exchange from each other, even while having all that fun, right?
ATHIYA: So, Ileana has OCD and I honestly believe that after I met her, I developed that as well. If my hair was out of place during the shoot, or if there was even a strand of thread on my ghagra that no one spotted, Ileana would. She is very particular about everything and I developed those traits after I met her.
ILEANA: I am quite the opposite of Athiya. While she is free-spirited, I tend to overthink. She just throws herself in a situation and enjoys it, while I tend to sit upright and hold myself back. Thanks to Athiya, I have started being comfortable and letting myself loose. So, being with her, I have learnt to let go.

Sangeeta Yadav (HINDUSTAN TIMES; June 2, 2020)

Actor Ileana D’Cruz loves to travel, but she’s making the most of the Coronavirus lockdown, trying her hands at painting and cooking. Away from her family, the actor, 33, admits it’s tough sometimes, but tells us she isn’t letting her mental health get affected by the crisis.

Over two months into lockdown... how are you holding up?
Sounds strange but it doesn’t feel like so much time has gone by. I’m used to living on my own. It’s been therapeutic. I’m organising stuff at home, redecorating, making a few pieces of art and cooking. But I miss my family. I’m thankful they’re safe, though in a different corner of the world (in the USA).

Is there anything called work-from-home for actors?
Absolutely, virtual narration is the new thing now. But I miss being on the set.

Do you believe in such a crisis, one should be more cautious about their mental health? How are you coping with stress?
Irrespective of the pandemic, I’ve always maintained you should prioritise mental well-being as you’d physical well-being. I have an amazing family and a beautiful support system with some wonderful friends. It helps to have mental well-being in times when you need to pour your heart out to someone.

Do you think getting back to a ‘new normal’ might take a toll on people’s mental well being?
See, safety will be of utmost importance. I’m learning not to take anything, especially life, for granted.

Onkar Kulkarni (BOMBAY TIMES; April 12, 2020)

For actress Ileana D’Cruz, Easter celebrations are something that she looks forward to every year. However, she had never imagined an Easter Sunday like this year’s. With the lockdown in India, and all of us battling the Coronavirus outbreak, it’s all about bringing in the festivities over video calls. In a conversation with BT, Ileana shares Easter memories from better times, and tells us what today’s celebration will be like.

“I remember my mother making all sorts of lovely Easter eggs, like the chocolate and marzipan ones. When we were kids, she would also get little baskets and have us decorate them. My sisters and I would paint them and put little yellow chicks (of course, fake ones) in them, along with the eggs,” she says.

While her parents are in self-isolation in their hometown (in Goa), her sisters are in the US. “I miss being with my whole family, which means complete madness in the house (laughs!). I miss the noise and wondrous smells coming from the kitchen with my mother pottering about in there. If I was home right now, I would be inhaling the aromas of the freshly baked hot cross buns. I would have my sisters for company and we would be chatting away or bickering about something or the other. Being away from family means I don’t really celebrate the day.”

Ileana signs off saying that this year, it will only be about video calls, but she adds, “I am happy that we at least have this technology, which can help us feel that we are close to each other even when we are physically not. These are difficult times, but some of us are fortunate to have the amenities to be able to spend this lockdown in the comfort of our homes. We should be thankful for that. So, in this lockdown, we will celebrate Easter over video calls.”

Titas Chowdhury (HINDUSTAN TIMES; November 19, 2019)

After essaying glamorous roles in films such as Devadasu (2006), Kick (2009), and Julayi (2012) down South, actor Ileana D’Cruz, broke the mould with her Bollywood debut. In Anurag Basu’s Barfi! (2012), the 33-year-old played the role of a sari-clad demure Bengali girl, which garnered appreciation from critics and audience alike. However, the actor feels that she is only changing the “formula, now and then”, and hasn’t yet cracked the art of choosing the right script.

So, how does her next film, Pagalpanti, fit into her film choices? “Films are art, and they’re subjective. Not everyone would love [Pablo] Picasso’s work. Films like Pagalpanti are genuinely funny and are meant to entertain you.They don’t require too much of your head, as they act as stress busters,” says Ileana. The film has an ensemble cast with actors like John Abraham, Arshad Warsi and Anil Kapoor in it. Excited to have worked with Kapoor, Ileana says, “AK is my favourite co-star. On the set, he’s always encouraging people. It’s so rare to come across people who are so passionate about their work, and that rubs off on to you. He’s like a kid in a candy store. He has been working for so long, but works as if it’s his first film. I love him.”

Lack of visibility doesn’t rattle Ileana, who is happy to take things slow. She says, “I don’t want to jump into being visible. I don’t want to sound cocky, but I know that I have the qualities of a good actor. I know there’s always room for improvement, but I don’t have the fear of missing out. A film isn’t a day’s commitment. So I wouldn’t do something that doesn’t have my heart in it.”

The actor, who has spent 13 years in showbiz, still believes that she isn’t cut out for the world of glamour. “I can’t go to every party. I need to be with people I’m comfortable with. I’ve seen some girls who can do that, and that’s great. I’m an introvert. Initiating a conversation is difficult for me. I was once sitting with Robert De Niro (actor) and Martin Scorsese (filmmaker) and though I wanted to talk, all I could manage was smile and say, hello,” she recalls.

Seven years after Barfi!, Ileana’s excited for another detour. She says, “The idea of doing a hard-hitting solo heroine film is appealing. I want to do something that challenges me, which has raw emotions. I want to do a film where the focus will not be on my looks.”

Rachana Dubey (BOMBAY TIMES; November 19, 2019)

It has been over a year since she appeared on any public platform. Except for being papped outside her gym occasionally, Ileana D’Cruz has maintained a low profile. While rumours of her break-up (with Australian photographer Andrew Kneebone) has been hitting the headlines over the past couple of months, the actress says that she deliberately stayed away from the spotlight, as she needed to work on herself. Now, however, she is back where she is the happiest — in front of the camera. Ahead of her next release, director Anees Bazmi’s Pagalpanti, Ileana speaks to BT about moving on from her relationship of many years, bringing life back on track and making wise career choices. Excerpts...

After Raid (2018), you vanished from the scene, only to reappear as the finale showstopper at BTFW 2019, which took place last month. What was that phase of absence like?
It felt great to walk the ramp. I am always nervous before a walk; I wonder how the models do it. But something about that night was so right. And, when you are feeling great overall, it just shows. Lately, I have been having trouble accepting the way I look. Over the last year or so, I was on medication; there were even days when I had 12 pills in one go. I went off the radar after Raid because I had to undergo tests every few weeks. The tablets made me put on weight, which I worked hard to knock off. The paparazzi photographs can be unflattering; there were times when I wanted to hit the gym, but would get papped outside and the pictures were quite bad. Now, of course, I have lost a lot of weight because I am off medication, am looking after myself a lot more and am feeling nice. But, in my head, I am still that fat girl (laughs!).

You gave your nod to Pagalpanti during that tough and dark phase. Did being around familiar faces and working on a light and breezy film like this help?
Yes, it helped a lot. Pagalpanti is a crazy film. John (Abraham) plays a guy with bad luck and my character gets into trouble because she is in love with him. It was an amazing bunch of actors to hang out with. I made friends with Arshad (Warsi), who has a great vibe. It was also a lot of fun working with John.

Talking about movies, in the last few years, the focus of cinema has shifted from stardom to acting prowess. As an actress who has straddled both kinds of cinema — massy entertainers and content-driven ones — are you happy with the way things function now?
At the end of the day, if the audience doesn’t enjoy your experiments with cinema, it’s not going to help. The good part is that the audience is open to the variety in content, now. Gritty films like Badla can co-exist with massy ones and they’re all doing well. Even off-beat subjects are doing decent business. So, it’s a plus if you can act. I’ve worked in about 30 films in 13-14 years, which I feel is a good number. Initially, I was like Akshay Kumar, doing four films a year. Then, I felt that maybe, I need to slow down. Today, I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything. Sometimes, things have not worked out for some unusual reasons, but I have no regrets. I’m sure something better is around the corner.

At the moment, apart from Pagalpanti, there’s only The Big Bull in your kitty. Do you feel that being so selective is a good idea, especially when there’s a burst of new ideas, new faces and filmmakers with fresh concepts?
I was always conscious about what I chose and I still am. After Barfi! (2012), I received many offers to play a Bengali girl, but why would I do it again? With me, it’s always about instinct, even if something sounds great on paper. I am fine with being more selective about what I do. Yes, there are a lot of newcomers, but I don’t feel the need to rush. At the end of the day, a film is for posterity. You have to be sure about it because it can’t be erased. So, instead of rushing in and choosing 20 films, I’d rather do fewer films and stay relevant. Besides, why bombard the audience with too much of you? A little mystery is always good.

Clearly, in your 15-year-career, you’ve not followed industry norms. Did that make things tough?
I’m a wild child, a rebel who has never stuck to norms. I’ve made my own rules and lived by them, but of course, it comes at a price. Once, during the initial days of my career, I asked a choreographer why people thought I am snooty and difficult — is it because I don’t agree with everyone all the time or because I speak my mind? She told me, ‘Just be yourself and everyone will get used to it’. That has stayed with me. It’s easy to get caught up with things and lose yourself. Losing sanity is a far bigger price than losing a career. Though I am myself, I don’t think I am hated for it. I do everything keeping in mind that at the end of the day, I need to sleep with my conscience clear.

On the personal front, speculations about your break-up with Andrew Kneebone surfaced when you unfollowed each other on social media, followed by a couple of cryptic messages on your Instagram account...
I have always kept my personal life away from the spotlight, as it’s not fair to the other person. Now, I can just say that I loved the experiences I had. Every bit of every year that we spent together has made me grow as a person. Today, I am in a better space, working on myself, which I didn’t give as much importance previously, and that was my own fault. It’s about time I took care of myself. There’s no point kicking up dirt when it’s not needed.

While you have every right to remain silent about your personal life, it can also give rise to more rumours and speculations...
Well, people talk, irrespective of what you do. At the end of the day, I am not answerable to anyone beyond my family. Life goes on. Today, I am talked about, it will be someone or something else tomorrow. All I can say is, some of my posts were lines from some poems, and I shared them because they were actually conveying what I was feeling. You will lose family along the way and the very thought terrifies me, but it’s inevitable. The only person who will be with you in all of this is you. Every time I went in for therapy, I was told that I have to make the effort to heal myself. That’s stuck with me. When you are with someone else, you’re busy looking after them and managing your career, and in the process, your well-being takes a backseat. You know what? It’s not so bad to be a little selfish sometimes.

Are you trying to say that your relationship took up a lot of your space?
Relationships do take a lot of your time, and you make them a priority, but it should not be a burden. Trying too hard to make it work is not a great sign. Also, you should not forget yourself in a relationship. It’s not anyone else’s fault, but yours if that happens. It’s not others’ responsibility to make you happy, but, unfortunately, that happens in many relationships.

What went wrong with your relationship? Did distance and the fact that you have different professions cause the rift?
Not all all. I could probably be with an actor and it would seem monotonous talking about the same things at work and at home. It’s great for a couple to follow different professions. Also, people say that long-distance relationships are hard to maintain, but distance never really matters. You can be miles apart and still be together, while sometimes, under the same roof, you could be miles apart. It’s not the best time to talk about what really went wrong. Right now, I just cherish what I had with Andrew and I look back with great memories and a smile. I’m at peace with myself.

While talking about her relationship with Arjun Kapoor, Malaika Arora had told BT that second chances are difficult to come by, and when that happens, you should grab it with both your hands. Would you give another relationship a chance in your life?
I’m not looking to be in a relationship right now. It doesn’t matter if you look like chalk and cheese to others, what’s important is how you two feel together. There’s a reason Malaika and I get along so well. We think alike. Malla and Arjun were in a public space where they were okay to speak about their relationship, while respecting each other’s privacy. I like that about them.

Are you still friends with Andrew?
(Long pause) I can’t really answer this right now.

Radhika Bhirani (HINDUSTAN TIMES; November 5, 2019)

If you chance upon Ileana D’Cruz’s Instagram page, you wouldn’t give her confident bikini photographs and quotable quotes a miss. The actor, who turned a year older on November 1, was bombarded by ‘divorce’ rumours recently. But Ileana prefers being focused on her work, self-acceptance and working towards a fitter self.

Ask her what’s up, and she says, “A lot, honestly. Work has been taking over most of my life. It feels great. It’s pretty much been work, work, work for me.” Work, and working out also, it seems! For someone who struggled with body dysmorphic disorder, it’s quite a progression.

She says: “I think the series of posts that I’ve done is because of the fact that I have started to feel a lot more comfortable with where I am body-wise right now. Yes, I have been working on it, and I am happy with the result.”

The rumour mills worked overtime this year when Ileana deleted her pictures with Australian photographer Andrew Kneebone, whom she once referred to as ‘hubby’ on Instagram. They had unfollowed each other on the photosharing platform.

But the actor doesn’t want to talk about it. “I have never spoken about my personal life, for the simple reason that it’s not just about me... It will be unfair to the other person,” says the 33-year-old.

However, she adds, “I am in a great space, I’m happy and I’m super-excited about my work.”

What about the musings that she often shares on social media? Some read: “You’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well”; “The only thing I’m committed to right now, is bettering myself”; “First, it hurts. Then, it changes you.”

Ileana explains that her Instagram page is a reflection of who she is. She says, “I never meant to send out any kind of animosity or negativity. I am much bigger than that. I would never stoop to that level. If I have to say something to someone, I would pick up the phone, and not put up a post.” The actor says that she is learning what self-acceptance is all about. “I am in a beautiful space. I am feeling stronger and happier than before. I am learning to love myself a little more. That’s a good space to be in. I feel it’s a big step for me as someone who has dealt with so many issues, body issues and stuff... I have constantly put myself down. So learning to accept myself is great,” she says.