Fans can’t get enough of lovebirds Eijaz Khan and Pavitra Punia, who don’t shy away from sharing their romance with them. The actors have been busy shooting for their respective projects. In fact, they also worked together on a short recently.

Ask him about their future and Khan replies, “More or less, in life, I have been alone, at least in my head. But right now, I am in a beautiful, committed relationship. We see a future together. I am looking at marriage and children.”

Having said that, he adds that he also wants to give his family “everything”. “None of us are low maintenance (laughs). I don’t think I have the liberty that I used to exercise and take a break. I don’t want to do that anymore either. I want to give my family the best in life. I want to work hard and don’t want to waste a single day. I want to work, but not compromise on the quality of work,” says the actor.

Khan reveals that last year, they were supposed to be part of a dance reality show, and another project which got delayed due to the Coronavirus pandemic. He is happy that recently, he shot for a film in Gujarat.

On the work front, after being part of a reality TV show, he admits that television provides “security and stability” to actors. “I have been part of many daily soaps and when you work in one, you can plan your near future. You know you will be working for at least for the next six months. It is tempting for me, at this stage in my life. But I guess I will do TV shows if the kind of offers I am getting on OTT platforms are not to my liking. But God is kind that I am getting a vast range of characters and I am busy with them for now,” he ends.

With TV shows like Kahiin Toh Hoga and Kkavyanjali and almost two decades in the TV industry, actor Eijaz Khan believes that the content on TV has changed marginally. While the young audience enjoys shows that present strong characters, Khan feels that the producers “aren’t the flag bearers of change in society and morality”.

He says, “Some content has become been more regressive and some has evolved beautifully. The younger generation gives their love and validation to shows that are built on strong characters they can look up to. Producers will make shows that work, but the onus is on audiences.”

Like his contemporaries, Khan says that actors often face prejudices while shifting to another medium. “You face challenges at every step in your life. When I was on TV, people said that I’m a dancer and I can’t act. When I wanted to do films, I got a three-film offer. Dharmesh Darshan ji (filmmaker) wanted to launch me. At that time, a big producer told him that I’m a TV actor and they shouldn’t be touched with a barge pole. Later, I did some films — some released and some didn’t,” he elaborates.

However, he admits that casting an actor is a call taken by filmmakers based on their commercial standing. “I understand the producer’s perspective, too. They used to feel that when people see TV actors for free, why would they spend money to watch them in a film?” he ends.

Actor Eijaz Khan is staying in isolation and taking prescribed medicines, after having developed symptoms of Coronavirus. However, to his surprise he has tested negative for the virus.

“Apparently, there are false negatives on first four days. One must check on the symptoms and take care. These are terrible times, a close friend of mine is currently hospitalised and every day you hear of some friend losing a family member,” he says.

The actor has been amplifying posts on social media for helping people. But lately he feels it has become sort of a ‘rabbit hole’. “Sometimes the leads are verified, at other times, they aren’t. In the interim, critical patients lose time. It’s beautiful to see people trying to help each other on social media, though sometimes, it works otherwise. People have reacted saying numbers you posted aren’t working. But we are actors, not part of the system or government, so there is only so much we can do. Yet when a few leads work out, it makes it all worth it,” he explains.

While trying to help people, including his ex-staff and others known to him, Khan feels sad to see the challenges everyone’s facing. “It has been more than a year and so many of them have not had jobs for long. There are so many levels of struggles that people have gone and are going through – emotional, physical, financial and mental. I get so many resumes daily asking for help... Graduates and post-graduates willing to do any job, even as a driver. It breaks my heart and I try to help as many as I can,” he concludes.

After forging a strong bond on Bigg Boss (BB), Eijaz Khan and Pavitra Punia’s love has only blossomed in recent months. The couple, who fell for each other hook, line and sinker on the show, are taking things one day at a time. But falling in love was never on Eijaz’s agenda. In fact, the actor in an exclusive interview to BT, before entering the BB house, had said, “I will never go near a woman or have any romantic feelings, because I don’t want to catch people’s attention by romancing anyone in Bigg Boss. And after living alone for many years, I think I will remain single now, akela aaya hoon, akela jaunga.”

Well, that was then. When we remind Eijaz about his stance then, he laughs and says, “I have to eat my words. Though I must say, it was not the plan. I realised that I had feelings for Pavitra only after a month. We even had talks of how we should not indulge too much and let go of our sight of the game that we were playing in Bigg Boss. But as the famous saying goes, life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

Eijaz justifies why he said he wanted to remain single before entering the house. He says, “The lockdown period had changed my perspective. I had spent eight months living alone and I realised the fragility of life. I am 45 now and had been single for quite some time. When you live alone, you become set in your patterns and want to live life a certain way. I had planned that since I will remain single, I would dote on my sister’s kids and if I feel lonely, I would stay with my friend in the USA. But the lockdown made me realise that I needed to do many more things and Bigg Boss also taught me that there are other things left to do in life. In the midst of this, I realised I had a soft corner for Pavitra. It was not because she is gorgeous or took care of me, but I genuinely felt she was the right person for me.”

Eijaz reveals that being with Pavitra has made him feel like a collegian. He says, “I have been tom-toming about my relationship like a college kid, but I only have the best intentions at heart. Currently, as a couple, we are working through a lot of things like families, Coronavirus, getting out of the Bigg Boss mode, etc. I’ve also realised that I need to undergo therapy for certain things. People assume that when you are in a relationship, you are in a happy space and your companion is like your therapist, but that is not how it works. Pavitra is my companion and I want her to be that. After spending so many months in Bigg Boss, I wanted to go to a therapist and talk about my feelings. I wanted someone to make me understand and process these multiple thoughts that keep coming to my mind.”

So, is marriage on the cards this year? “Currently, Pavitra is busy with work and I am looking for work opportunities. We are happy spending time with each other, sometimes she compromises and sometimes I do. I am not a difficult boyfriend — I am a mixed bag of sometimes going to one extreme and being an understanding boyfriend. We live in unpredictable times and all that anxiety that had started last year at this time, has returned due to the current pandemic situation. But nevertheless, it is a beautiful feeling to be in love. However, there is no deadline that we have set for anything,” he signs off.

It wasn’t love at first sight for these two Bigg Boss 14 contestants. However, Eijaz Khan and Pavitra Punia have now taken their love-hate relationship to the next level and made it official to the world that “we are dating”. Interestingly, their love-hate rapport continues even outside the house, as just before talking to us exclusively, the two revealed that they fought over something, but then patched up in no time. Excerpts from the conversation...

Pavitra: I have always believed that love is a very beautiful feeling. We both are feeling it now. We fought inside the Bigg Boss house and still had feelings for each other there. Now, we have come out of the house and have confessed our feelings for each other. It's blissful.

Eijaz: I was too confused inside the Bigg Boss house. Everything there was from a game’s perspective. But anything and everything that came from Pavitra, was very real. Now that I have come out of the house and I see those clips of our fights, I see that hesitation and smile on my face ki arre yaar mujhe Pavitra pe gussa kyun nahi aa raha hai? Love for her, I think, was always there, and now I have confessed my feelings. And now, I can’t wait to torture her for the rest of my life!

Eijaz: Abhi bahut papad belne hain shaadi ke liye. Shaadi inshallah hogi, aur bahut sahi waqt pe hogi. We are keeping our fingers crossed and if all goes well, Pavitra and I will get married this year. Abhi humare ghar waale bahut phaile hue hain, pehle unhe samet le and then we will think about marriage.

Pavitra: Things will happen very soon. We can’t predict our future, but we can be hopeful and wishful about the future.

Eijaz: My brother and my cousins have met Pavitra. I have also met her brother. Woh ho chuka hai, now the planning for the other generation to meet is on.

Pavitra: Just before this call, we were having the ‘Bigg Boss time’ again where we were fighting and he was saying that do not raise your voice at me. When a relationship is real, you fight and make up and this cycle continues. This journey can’t always be sweet. People thought our fights were fake, but they were all real.

Eijaz: Earlier in the house, we used to fight over ridiculous issues like nominations etc., but now, we fight and argue on real things. She is teaching me how to look at life from a bigger perspective during the fights and counsels me on how not to have a bad day over things that are not in my control. Our fights are real and so is our making up. It is not because we have a Weekend Ka Vaar and so we are together, it is genuine.

Eijaz: Take a guess! I said I am sorry and you are right! It is always like that.

Pavitra: It was so because most of the time, he is wrong and when he is wrong, I need to shout and then he takes brownie points by saying, ‘Sorry, I won’t do it again!’ But if you see, he was wrong in the first place! He creates the fight and then says sorry (giggles!).

Eijaz: We wanted to watch it together, but both of us have been busy with our work and have not had the time to catch up much on the episodes.

Pavitra: Going by Eijaz’s image, whatever she is doing is completely opposite of what his image is. He has mostly been quiet and has not been violent the way she has been in the recent episode. Eijaz ne ghar ko kabhi bhi nuksaan nahi pahunchaya. But having said that, going by the tough competition inside the house as of now, I think she is giving good content to be there in the house. Eventually, content matters, which the audience and the makers love. I would love to see more of this side of Devoleena because by doing all this todphod, she is going to be in the show, which means Eijaz is in the show.

Eijaz: I have lost touch with what is happening inside the house. If I go as a competitor now, I have a lot to catch up on, and I am ready for it.

Eijaz Khan’s exit from Bigg Boss 14, citing a prior work commitment, has left his fans shocked and disappointed. Talking to BT about the tough decision that he took just four weeks ahead of the reality show’s finale, the actor says, “According to the original schedule, the finale of BB was to be held on January 15, and my contract with them was till then. On the other hand, the shoot of my web series was stalled in February last year and even before I entered the house, there were talks about it getting restarted. As luck would have it, by the time my entry in BB was almost finalised, the makers of the series asked for my dates. I chose the reality show at that point, because I was not sure if the shoot of the series would actually commence. But now that it has started, I decided to leave BB. Main zubaan ka pakka hoon. It was a tough call as I was just four weeks away from the finale and could have been a strong contender.”

As re-entries are common in BB, will we see him make a comeback as well? “Initially, the makers thought that it would be impossible as it’s too close to the finale. However, they said that they will try something. I have given my blood, sweat and tears to this show, so I feel that my fans will feel cheated if I exit just like that. So, my primary responsibility now is to go back and win it for them,” he replies.

Eijaz is optimistic about actress Devoleena Bhattacharjee, who was a part of BB 13, being roped in as his proxy on the show. “I haven’t seen her game, but she seems sorted and says exactly what she wants to. The best part is that she has seen a few episodes of BB 14, and during the last task, both of us surprisingly chose Nikki Tamboli and gave the same reason without consulting each other,” he shares.

The actor seems to have a lot of trust issues, which came to the fore during his stint on the show. Point that out and he says, “I don’t find it difficult to trust people, I trust everyone till they break my trust. I was arrogant enough to go inside the house without having watched any season of BB. I might have played better if I had done that, but what trained me for the show was life. I have been more self-critical than any of the other contestants. My journey inside the house has been more inward — breaking myself every day, bringing the pieces together and building myself again... After a certain point, you can’t break any more. All false perceptions about yourself get ripped apart and what remains is real. And, that is the best therapy anyone can ask for.”

Another highlight of his journey on BB has been his equation with fellow contestant Pavitra Punia. Forging a romantic relationship on the show could be easily assumed as a ‘game strategy’, but Eijaz says, “There is no better place to realise the reality of a person than the BB house. The whole sham of Pavitra being a tough girl was busted; she is quite soft hearted. In fact, she is the most caring person I know. Woh jis tarah se dhyaan rakhti hai, saaf safaai karti hai apna samajh kar. She has been cooking for me (smiles!). My fourth call after leaving the house was to her. After I left my dad, I have spent the longest time with her since my exit to understand the unsaid. A lot of things needed to be addressed, not just about her past, but also what we think of each other. We aren’t kids, we are not in the dating game, and we have had our heartbreaks. Let me put it this way, people who think my equation with Pavitra is fake, are fake themselves.”

So, what was his conversation with Pavitra all about? Eijaz replies, “Every decision will be taken keeping in mind our wellbeing. This is only possible by developing mutual understanding, which comes with spending time together. To be honest, I was scared when I was inside the house, as one starts building castles in the air without having understood the other person. So, it’s better to play BB in the real world...understanding each other or fighting with each other (laughs!).”

Eijaz and Pavitra have already met each other’s brothers. The actor says, “When I met Pavi, I met her brother, too. He is sweet. I also made my brother meet her. We take each day as it comes. My intention is honest, pure and pavitra, pun intended! We will see where it goes, let us not define or label it.”

His parents’ separation when he was just four and a lifelong search for love and acceptance, triggered a long-overdrawn battle with mental illness for popular TV actor Eijaz Khan. Surprisingly, till six years ago, he was not even aware that he was ailing. “We have been socially conditioned to believe that boys don’t cry, so I didn’t. Instead, I grew up believing that my mom had left me because she didn’t love me and my father couldn’t accept me. I blamed myself for my parents’ fights and the anxiety eventually translated into anger issues,” he confides.

When he discussed this with his then partner, just before they were to tie the knot, she advised Eijaz to see a therapist. He admits that though he went there just to prove a point to her, therapy changed him. “Till then, I was Eijaz Khan, the star, who was always right. But by the fourth meeting, I was talking about my childhood in third person, like it had happened to someone else,” he shares.

Afraid to trigger those dark memories, he stopped going for therapy. But when forced to continue, he started taking medication that made him sleep 18 hours a day. “I got panic attacks, and for a person who hadn’t cried since he left his home at the age of 17, I was suddenly bawling for no particular reason,” Eijaz reminisces, adding that as a teenager, he had turned rebellious, and once, when his father slapped him, he stormed out of the house. “Now, I understand that he was just trying to be the best father he could,” he says emotionally.

The toxicity Eijaz carried with him till he was almost 40 affected his own relationships as he was superimposing his insecurities on his partners. “I badly wanted them to stay with me, but not in a possessive way. If they tried to do anything independently my passive aggressive side would surface. I was so comfortable being unhappy that I’d do something to create that. I don’t blame my partners for leaving me and moving to a healthier life,” he acknowledges.

Professionally, too, his work suffered as he identified with and surrounded himself with people who were low themselves and stopped meeting real friends or going for meetings. He would lock himself in a room, blacking out the windows, and not step out for three days. “From hating the world, I started hating myself. I tried to find what I didn’t have for real in the characters I played on screen. I would gravitate towards broken men with women in their lives who had gone away or were in some kind of a strained relationship or dead. I was validating my pain through them, thinking that when it ends for them, my pain would also go away,” Eijaz chokes up, admitting that the two years from 2015 to 2017 were the most traumatic.

He started therapy again, but it wasn’t smooth going because he now started falling for his therapist and was visiting them for the wrong reasons. Eventually, he stopped going for his sessions and moved from Bandra to Powai to cut himself off from his earlier life. Fortunately for Eijaz, a close friend became his support during this tumultuous phase, calling him every day for a year just for a chat. And after a gap of two years, he went back to therapy and hasn’t stopped since. “Today, I understand that therapy makes you realise that things aren’t as bad as one might think. You are not scared to live anymore,” he asserts.

Bring up the subject of Sushant Singh Rajput and Eijaz points out that the news led him to identify with him in that they were both dancers and from television. “Around 20 friends of mine called me up the day after Sushant’s death, saying it made them think of me. I slipped back into self-pity, wallowing in it for almost 16 hours a day for about a month. It affected me mentally and manifested itself physically,” he recounts.

But then, he picked himself up again, and has been fighting since. “The Coronavirus lockdown forced me to be with and take care of myself. The biggest paradox is that while the world is tackling hardships, I would say that this has been the best phase of my life. Today, at 45, I am publicly talking about my issues and that makes me a winner. The stigma around mental health has to end, we need to start discussing it,” he signs off.

Eijaz Khan finds acting cathartic. It helps him deal with childhood issues and nurse a broken heart. Facing the camera also makes him forget - though momentarily - his pain, as it lets him live “someone else's life“. In an interview with BT, the actor, who is still not over his break-up with Canadian multilingual singer Natalie Di Luccio, opened up about matters of love and labour. Read on...

These days, we don't see you enough on TV...
That's because I get bored. At 40, your work should excite you. It's pointless going through the process if the passion is missing. I am spending time with my father. It's not that I am not working. Since this is the only work that pays me, I come back whenever I am broke. But, it's not just about making money anymore.

Do you feel insecure seeing so many new faces in the industry?
I am happy that so many people want to act. I won't call them actors though. You don't become an actor by hitting the gym. Such people don't want to be actors; they want to be stars.

Your Bollywood career didn't shape up the way you must have expected after Tanu Weds Manu...
I agree. Probably, nobody recognised me as a Sardar. In hindsight, it's a blessing that people only saw the character and not me. It means I delved deep into the character. But TV doesn't require that. In fact, in the television industry, people ask me why I want to go deep into a character. Well, I am not a dumb actor. I will ask questions about my role so that I can deliver to the best of my abilities. I wouldn't have lasted had I not been like this. TV has become a medium to make money and money corrupts me. It's too late to change my approach and thinking. I am basically laid-back and believe that I will get what I deserve.

Why did your relationship with Natalie end?
We were two amazing people at different phases in our lives. The root cause of our relationship falling apart was my psyche. It started going downhill during Laut Aao Trisha. I played a dark character, who turns bitter after losing his wife and daughter. Somewhere, the lines blurred between real and reel and our relationship suffered. I had to undergo therapy for depression, and it made me realise that I was superimposing my childhood memories to play the part. I also realised that all my issues are deeply rooted in my childhood. I had unresolved issues with my parents after they parted ways. My aunts took turns to look after me. I never had a strong bond with my parents. I was always looking for someone to hold on to, some sort of an anchor.

Coming back to Natalie, we remain cordial. I never loved anybody like I loved her - like a child, my equal, a friend, travel partner. I don't think it was right for me to expect Natalie to give her precious time to our relationship. I would have also advised her to focus on her career if I were her family. I am the only person who knows the real Natalie. After she left, I was very disturbed to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I would lock myself up in my room for days on end. As actors, we are emotionally fragile. On top of that, we men are expected to be macho and strong, no matter how broken we are inside.

Has therapy helped you?
I won't say I am at peace, but I have started directing my energies towards my goal. That eases me out. I am in turmoil when I am not working, as I have to live with myself.

You put your career on hold when you were in the relationship...
Natalie didn't ask me to. I invested my time, energy and happiness in her without being asked. Love and respect make my world go round. I become the best person for my partner. I give so much expecting the same or more in return - it doesn't stem from self-respect, it stems from insecurity. I have abandonment issues. If I love somebody, I need to be loved back. But overwhelming your partner is not right. I won't mind putting my career on the backburner if my partner wants me to stay at home and take care of the child. I am an actor and can return to the field whenever I want.

What do you think about love and marriage?
I am not averse to the idea, but I am not looking forward to it either. I can't go through the trauma of losing someone again.