Despite two failed marriages, Deepshikha Nagpal hasn’t become cynical about love. She is open to the possibility of meeting her Mr Right and starting life afresh.

She says, “When a relationship ends, it leaves you shattered but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love anymore. Love remains the most beautiful emotion and experience. Life’s a journey and the lessons from my past relationships have helped me break patterns of emotional dependence. So, I don’t blame anyone. I respect all my relationships because I was happy with them at some point and wish them happiness.”

Learning from past mistakes, she advises not to be hasty in love. She says, “Never get involved with anybody on the rebound or for the wrong reason. Earlier, I was under the impression that I needed a partner to complete me and would find someone as incomplete as me (laughs!). I have realised that nobody can complete me. I feel complete in myself. I love myself, and I am my top priority. Pehle aisa lagta tha baad mein sab theek ho jaayega ya bachhe ho jaayenge tab sab theek ho jaayega. But that’s not how it works. A relationship has to be fine right from the word go. The biggest lesson I have learnt is that I am not dependent on anybody financially or emotionally. I can’t lose my identity in a relationship.”

So, what’s her ideal partner like? “I don’t believe in flings and wasting time and energy on frivolous relationships. I have certain expectations from my partner, which include honesty, loyalty, and emotional strength. It is challenging to find a genuine person, but I have faith I will find the right one. I am not lonely or sad or lonely, but I would love to have a partner with whom I can share everything unfiltered. I love falling in love and am confident it will happen soon. I won’t be single for long; someone special will be a part of my life. I don’t know about marriage yet, as it’s a big responsibility,” she replies.

In her desire to find love again, she has the support of her children – 22-year-old Vidhika and 18-year-old Vivaan.

She shares, “I have a pact with them that I should be aware of their relationships. One day, my son asked me why I don’t bring someone I like home to meet them. Unsure of their reaction, I was quite hesitant about introducing the person I might fall in love with to them. They encouraged me to move on and find a partner but advised me to make a wise choice. They often tell me that I end up meeting the wrong people (laughs!). We are each other’s strongest support.”

For actress Deepshikha Nagpal, her second marriage is over. She filed a non-cognisable complaint against her husband Kaishav Arora, restraining him from entering her house. In an exclusive chat with Bombay Times, Deepshikha speaks about what went wrong in her relationship...

When did problems start in your marriage?
Almost a year back. I thought that the relationship would get better, but it didn't. Since it was my second marriage, I gave my 200% to save it. We have had compatibility issues leading to fights. I realised we are two different people and I didn't exist for him despite being physically present. I have been through several ups and downs in life, but in the last eight months, I feel like I have been to hell and back. I went into depression. One day, it got so ugly that I told him that I didn't want to live with him and wanted a divorce. To my shock, rather than calming me down, he asked me to clear his dues for working on a show for two years, which was a joint venture with a friend. When I told him we will do the accounting, he wasn't ready. He is asking for 1.5 crore as his earnings. I am a self-made woman and have never taken a penny from my parents or my ex-husband. I would never hold anyone's money back. But you can't force or threaten me for it! Which husband asks his wife to return money that he has earned or tells his wife that she used him for five years? It felt as if it was all about money. I told him, 'I am your wife, treat me like one.' He has called my friends and badmouthed me, saying how I was not paying his dues. He never said let's work things out even once. I have cried enough and now, I don't care what people have to say. I wasted my energy and my health deteriorated in these eight months. I had put him before everything else.

Why didn't you approach his family to resolve the differences?
I did, but they seemed indifferent until the first NC was filed against him. That's when they came rushing to me and told me that I shouldn't have gone to the cops. I decided to listen to my gut. If I take it lying down, I become a bechari, but if I speak up, I am a b**ch. I would have slapped my son had he done something like this.

Did Kaishav try to get in touch with you?
He won't dare call me after the NC.

What's the status now?
We are no more a part of each other's life. I want a divorce and I have told him that we will mutually separate. I don't want to stay with someone who doesn't respect me. I want to take charge of my life. God bless him and may he be happy.

Did you feel the pressure was more to make this relationship last since it was your second marriage?
Yes, there was too much pressure. At times, I think why did I even marry again? My weakness was that I aspired to have a perfect family - husband and kids. I wanted to lead a normal life. I had working parents and was emotionally vulnerable, as I used to stay alone. Call it my weakness or craving. But now, I am done with it. I don't need a man to complete me, my children complete me.

How did your children cope with it?
My children are my angels. I sat with them and told them that I was feeling suffocated. They told me they were adjusting with him because of me and I mistook that for their happiness.

What next?
I am happy, focussing on work and will bounce back like I always do.