Actor Samantha got candid about living with myositis, a rare autoimmune condition, at the All India Management Association’s 52nd National Management Convention in Delhi on Tuesday, saying it has reshaped her life and priorities. The 38-year-old asserted that she’s putting her health over her career and is no longer interested in the rat race.

“The previous version of me probably had five films releasing in a year because that was the symbol of a successful actor… You needed to have five films, a big blockbuster, and you had to be on the list of top 10 actors. That was needed to be endorsing the biggest multinational brands. Today, I haven’t had a film release in two years, and I am not on any lists. I don’t have any Rs. 1,000-crore film, but I am the happiest I have ever been,” she said.

This shift has also changed how Samantha approaches brand endorsements. “I don’t endorse any of the big brands I used to as a symbol of status. In return, I invested in brands that I believe to be clean, transparent and effective, because I believe this is what I leave behind,” she explained.

“I was so fragile,” Samantha admitted, as she reflected on how the pressures of a competitive industry triggered constant anxiety, adding, “Every Friday would change and give me anxiety that someone will claim my position tomorrow, that I would be replaced. My whole self-worth was based on the calculator of that Friday.”

Making small but meaningful changes to her life has been helpful. She said, “Keeping a gratitude journal for one year changed my whole personality. From someone who was always looking for what’s going to go wrong, always fearing how I am going to mess up… If there was success, I would forget it the next day, but failure would stay for a long time. A year later, today, my whole attitude towards failure and hiccups has changed.”

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