Being in the limelight is not a new experience for Anshula Kapoor, having lived with celebrity siblings — Arjun, Janhvi, and Khushi, and father Boney — who’ve been under the camera gaze for long. However, Amazon Prime Video’s The Traitors, hosted by Karan Johar, marked her first brush with the screen. While she had decided to enter showbiz, reality shows were not the aim.

“Last year, [I had decided to do] anything that scared me. I was saying yes to things just to not let fear win,” shares Anshula, who, while not having seen the international version of the show, was aware of the game Mafia, often played by children. “BBC explained the format to me. It felt like something strategic and out of my comfort zone.”

Having now experienced the psychological pressures of being on a reality show, she agrees that “knowing it and living it are two different things”.

“It felt like we were all inside a pressure cooker. You’re trying to spot flaws and cracks in people’s façades. It is intense and exhausting. And then, every couple of hours, someone comes to you saying, ‘Trust is rare, betrayal is everywhere.’ You really begin to question yourself and others,” she explains.

Shooting for almost 17 hours a day in an environment built on suspicion took a toll on her mental health. Without access to friends, family, or even just space to decompress, she says the environment became emotionally stifling.

“I had to go back into therapy very intensively after the show. My anxiety was peaking. I wasn’t able to normalize again on my own,” she says. “It stays with you. You begin to triple-guess your instincts, and that’s not easy to come back from. By day six, I already knew I needed therapy.”

While she doesn’t regret doing The Traitors, Anshula is now clear that reality TV is not her cup of tea. “I’m introverted, and my personality doesn’t cater to the kind of reality TV India does. It gave me a lot of insight into myself. It also showed me the importance of mental health. I’m not chasing visibility. I’m chasing peace,” she signs off.