It's been a while since actor Shahana Goswami has been entertaining an idea. “I want to direct,” she says at one point in this conversation, recalling the time she wrote a short film that she was set to helm. 

“I was living in France and wrote a short film in French, which I was going to direct. But, when I was supposed to start looking for funds, I had to return to India for work. Then, I never found the opportunity to make that film there,” Goswami recalls, adding that she is eager to give wings to her directorial dreams after being made aware of her talent by the directors she has worked with.

“The directors I have worked with in the last eight years have told me I should direct, even though they never knew I wanted to. It is my calling. I would be a better director than an actor. It was always part of the plan. I had the dream of inhabiting characters, and also creating a canvas. I have a [good] visual sense and love taking photographs. I enjoy the audiovisual space,” says Goswami, who features in the Friday release, Despatch, directed by Kanu Behl.

As her if she has a script in mind, and she responds in the negative. However, she is aware that narratives like Despatch, which explores the “shifting dynamics” between individuals, appeal to her. “If I direct anything, this theme will be at its core.”

Pointing to the manner in which Behl crafted his characters in the film, she says she liked that they weren’t depicted as a “a rosy couple, right at the beginning”. “You [directly] see them in an unstable [relationship]. It tells you so much about the equation. I like things that are not expressed through words.”