I WAS MADE INTO AN ‘EVIL MONSTER’ AT 21
A ‘free man’ today, Sooraj Pancholi bares it all in a no-holds-barred conversation
Rishabh Suri (HINDUSTAN TIMES; April 30, 2023)

The special CBI court has acquitted you of all charges. How does the term ‘free’ make you feel?
I am still trying to believe that I don’t have to go to court anymore. When these charges were put on me, I was 21. I am 32 now. I spent my entire 20s in court. Even today (the day of the judgement), maybe to others, seemed something different. But for me, it felt the same because I have been sitting in court every week. I have fought a lot. It has taken a lot of patience and courage.

The court, in its verdict, said you had “tried to get her (Khan) out of depression”. Could you tell us more about this?
I was the only one there for Jiah during her worst time. Her family is now running for justice, but what justice are they talking about? They were not there for their daughter when she needed them. I had informed Jiah’s family that she was going through depression. I did as much as I could for her at that time. But, I was only 21 years old. I was not even capable of taking care of myself. Yet, I tried my best to take care of Jiah, who was a few years older than me. In the end, she didn’t need me; she needed her family. The sad truth is that her family, including her mother, were only present in Jiah’s life when they needed financial support.

The judgement was based on lack of evidence...
(Cuts in) That’s the technical term for lawyers and judges to use. There is no evidence against me; it’s not ‘lack’ of evidence. ‘Lack’ makes it sound suspicious.

Ten years... How has life been like over the past decade?
It has been extremely difficult. I felt lonely because I didn’t want to speak to my family about it. They were going through a lot because of me anyway. Besides them, I don’t really speak to anybody. That made me feel really upset. It’s very easy to accuse somebody, but only the person knows what it takes to prove that everything being said against them is not true.

Did you have to lose out on work because of this case?
A lot, because of this perception [that the world had formed of me]. I was made into this ‘evil monster’ when I was only 21. It was not in my control because I was facing a virtual media trial, where there was no investigation, no research, no evidence. My entire trial was a media trial. It was all hearsay. That’s what made it even worse.

Could you describe your relationship with Jiah?
I knew her for maybe six months in total out of which, I was in a relationship for five months. It was a short relationship. It’s very difficult to know what a person is going through in just a matter of five months! And at that age, I was too immature to even understand the magnitude of what she was going through. I informed her family that she had tried to end her life six months before she died.

So, you met her right after she had attempted to kill herself?
Yes. It was 2012. I had sent for the doctors for her. If I had not been present that day, she would have died long ago. I had informed her mother — her family was in London — and told her that Jiah had wounded herself badly on her arm with a piece of glass. She said, ‘Beta, you take care of Jiah; I am going to take the next flight’. And she came after three months. Just because she is a mother does not mean they had good relations; it does not mean she was responsible or caring.

In what way was Jiah’s family involved in her life? Can you elaborate?
She was the only person supporting her two step sisters, her mother and her mother’s partner (not husband). Jiah had been supporting all of them since the age of 16, when she was brought to the Hindi film industry by her mum. She was pushed into films; Jiah didn’t want to pursue acting. She wanted to study further. Yes, I loved Jiah, but love from me was not enough. Love from her family is what she needed and wanted.

The six-page suicide note, which did not address or name anyone, mentioned that there had been an abortion and that the relationship was abusive.
In court, after 10 years, it was proven that the letter matched the notebook that was found at Jiah’s house. That notebook has been proven to be Rabya’s notebook. The notes inside and the handwriting, are Jiah’s mother’s. So, the investigation team, the CBI, and the police matched the two handwritings, but they never investigated whose diary it was! It was just assumed to be Jiah’s. Jiah and I knew each other for five months; we were not in a five-year marriage. If I was so abusive and so bad as a boyfriend, why did Jiah’s mother not raise an objection back then?

Why do you think you got implicated in this incident?
Jiah’s mother knows she is guilty of being an irresponsible mum, and she doesn’t want to take the guilt on her head. I think she will find peace only if somebody else is blamed for her mistakes.


I WAS MADE INTO AN ‘EVIL MONSTER’ AT 21