Neha Dhupia Says Before Pregnancy Announcement, She 'Was Frowned Upon For Putting On Weight'

Onkar Kulkarni (BOMBAY TIMES; October 16, 2021)

Neha Dhupia and her husband Angad Bedi welcomed their second child, a baby boy, two weeks ago. The actress is loving this phase, but slowly wants to get back to her normal routine. However, with two kids now at home, it’s not easy, she says. A few days after delivery, Neha got back to work and shot for two projects from her home. In a chat with Bombay Times, she talks about balancing work and personal life and how her experiences from her first pregnancy are helping her keep postpartum stress at bay. Excerpts:

It’s been two weeks since you welcomed your second child. Has the feeling sunk in that you are a mother of two now?
Our baby boy was due for arrival on October 7, but he arrived on October 3. He was in a rush I guess as he came in a few days earlier! Some experienced people had told me that having a second child would be more hectic than when you have just one. I didn’t understand what they meant then, but now I do. With two babies to take care of, everything has to be at double the speed now. There is no time left for yourself as when one kid sleeps, the other wakes up. Breastfeeding is another ball game altogether as you do it after every three hours. So ideally, I am feeding my baby throughout the day and night after every three hours. The toughest bit is the night as whenever I am about to sleep he wakes up and I feed him again.

How has the older sibling, your daughter Mehr, reacted to this new addition to the family. And how are you dealing with balancing attention between two kids as a parent?
Mehr just knows that there’s a little baby that has arrived in the house. A couple of days ago, she took her brother in her lap. As a kid, she just sways between being caring towards him, but at the same time being naughty. The other day he was fast asleep in his cot when she just came in and screamed out loud and woke him up. As parents, we had decided that from the time the new baby arrives we would give a lot of our attention to Mehr. That’s because at their age they wonder why the two people who loved them with all their heart are actually dividing time between them and the other person. So, we are very conscious about not letting her feel misplaced at all. Though eventually, I know we will be divided into teams…two against two. I have a feeling it will be Angad and Mehr versus me and our little baby boy. Angad and Mehr are inseparable. When Mehr doesn’t see Angad at home for a long time, she literally behaves like a fish out of water.

You got back to work soon after you had Mehr, and this time, too, you were working throughout your pregnancy. Do you plan to return to work full-fledged soon this time around, too?
On the ninth day, after Mehr was born, I was back at work. This time around, I returned to work on the sixth day after the delivery. Yes, I already did two shoots at home. With the little baby around, it was a must for the team to do their COVID tests and only then do they step into my house. I personally feel that if you want a break then it is important to have one as recovery is very important. Childbirth takes a lot out of you. It is not easy. So, my advice is you give yourself time to recover. It’s just that I am extremely fond of what I do and I wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. Options like work from home have proven to be such a blessing in today’s day and age. I have worked hard over the years and there’s a long way to go. I feel like my entire career has been about being relevant at all times — neither being extremely successful nor being invisible.

At the time when you delivered your first child, you had opened up about your postpartum stress. How are you dealing with it this time around?
I am still getting used to breastfeeding at night; it can get rather lonely as you are waking up when everyone is sleeping. Postpartum depression is something I still don’t see enough women or new mums talking about. I think people should reach out to others on this subject. Anything can trigger it... like when you see your body post-delivery, you just feel so hollow. Things like breastfeeding through the night or not being able to sleep or not knowing what to do when you have a crying baby in your arms... these are the things I am aware of now, and so I am not letting them upset me. My experiences are being my own saviors. Very consciously, I talk to myself and not let myself slip into it. Right now, I am holding up well and being absolutely fine. Getting back to your routine sooner makes it much easier. Appreciating yourself as a mother is very important and I feel every new mum should do this. When you see yourself in the mirror, just appreciate your body that has given life and don’t be hard on yourself. So whether you have stitches or stretch marks or a few extra inches… own it, because what you have done, nobody else can do.

Have you and Angad thought of a name for your son?
Mehr already has a cute little nickname for him, which I am not going to share right now (laughs!). As far as the parents are concerned, there’s been a constant battle between us; both Angad and I have come up with a name each. He is just too unaccommodating with my choice of name! So, may the best name win! As a family, we are just looking at having an appropriate name for the boy. Mehr, too, got her name very naturally and organically. At the end of every message, her grandfather (Angad’s dad) would write Guru Mehar Kare and that’s how we picked up Mehr as her name. Meanwhile, Angad and I had a good time doing up the room for our little boy. The décor comprises hot air balloons, little fox and bunnies. We have a Simba carpet as Mehr is obsessed with the character. Her cot is right next to her little brother’s.