Actor Arjun Kapoor on his difficult childhood and why he decided to begin again
Anuradha Choudhary (TIMES LIFE; August 18, 2019)

Professionally, do you believe you are on the right track now?
I will not lie. My last few Fridays have been a reality check. I take responsibility without saying, mujhse galti ho gayi. It’s an introspective responsibility. I’ve analysed it. I’d like to believe I’m at a good point considering the kind of work I’m chasing. But that does not mean I’m comfortable and relaxed. My aspiration is way higher. I want to be able to carry films on my shoulders with ease.

When you see your colleagues giving 100-crore hits, does it make you insecure?
I’m not an insecure person. I’m a collaborative person. Yes, you have moments of insecurity where you wish you were doing better. That’s natural. But by wishing others ill, you cannot do well. Insecurity should drive you to do better — improve the way you look, the way you think, your performance — rather than leave you bitter.

You’ve said in the past few years, you haven’t looked your best. Why?
I’m capable of looking better. I have to be honest with myself and with the audience. They are paying 500 rupees to watch me. They expect me to look the way I looked when I started out. But I’ve had health issues I don’t talk about. I had a slightly obese childhood (Smiles). Slight is an understatement. That comes with its own ailments. I battle with them constantly. Today, I’m back to feeling my best. I’ve lost all the excess weight. I’m shooting a film where I’m bald and my director is happy with the way I’m looking. I believe I look like a warrior. There’s a certain physicality that the role needed. I was able to achieve that.

Coming to your personal life, what made you come out in the open about your relationship with Malaika Arora?
We’ve come out because we feel the media has given us dignity. There’s a certain understanding that the media has displayed. They have been respectful, kind, honest and decent about it. That’s why I felt comfortable. You recoil when there’s a certain gandagi that comes with the territory. When people purposely irk you by saying, writing or asking things. There hasn’t been any of that. As far as the paps are concerned, we give them photos when walking in and out of a place. We talk to them. There’s a certain ease. I told them: ‘Please don’t sit under the house and make it seem like we’re hiding when we’re not’. I don’t want my neighbours to be disturbed. I don’t want her neighbours to be disturbed. We’re not doing anything wrong. I don’t want the story being conveyed that we’re hiding, when we’re not. They understood that.

Are you getting married?
I’m not getting married. I understand why there are speculations. In my own house people ask, tu shaadi kab kar raha hai? It’s an organic Indian question. If you are with someone for even three days, the marriage question pops up. Shaadi karlo, tumhari umar ho gayi hai, abhi kitna sochoge? For most, in India, 33 is a great age to get married. But not for me. I still have time. If I’ve not hidden my relationship. Why will I hide my marriage yaar? Today, I have some stability in my life and if someone gives me happiness, my family won’t be against it

Are you waiting to get your sister Anshula married first?
That would be a nice organic thing to do. But it’s not so easy to pinpoint that. If she wants to, I’d be happy. If she says, ‘No, I want to wait for a bit’, I’d be okay with that too. She believes in the institution of marriage just as I do. Despite what we’ve seen in our lives, we both have faith that marriage is good. Let her make something out of herself. She’s focusing on her work right now. Hence, I’ve not had the marriage conversation with her (Smiles). Thanks for reminding me, I'll speak to her today.

Is Malaika okay with waiting?
If I could answer on her behalf… the thing is, we both have to still discover each other in a public space and enjoy the comfort of being a couple. We need that ease. We need to take our mind off this pressure of getting married. Sometimes, you just need to be in a relationship. You need to live it; you need to enjoy it for what it is, rather than what it should be according to people. We are at ease with each other. I guess it should be left at that without going into details.

How happy is your family with your relationship?
They are happy. That’s the reason I’ve been able to come out. There’s genuine happiness for me. I’ve been through hell. I’ve been through a roller-coaster... from the age of 10-11 till 33 today. My parents separated when I was around 11 years old. Today, I have some stability in my life and if someone gives me happiness, my family won’t be against it. I’m genuinely happy. That’s why a Friday at the box-office doesn’t decide my life.

How has your relationship with your dad, Boney Kapoor, evolved after Sridevi’s death?
It’s always been good. We haven’t had the need to pick up the pieces of our relationship. If it wasn’t that good, I wouldn’t have been able to take such a big leap of faith. But I guess, he’s emotionally closer to me today. He’s also trying to be a hands-on father. Not with me alone but with all the kids. He’s learnt to prioritise us along with work, which is nice. At 65-plus, being a friend to your child is not easy. But the fact that he wakes up and tries every day... I give him full marks for that. It’s going well so far. We have our moments. We have our difference of opinion in certain things. But that’s normal.

The way you stood by him when Sridevi passed away was truly commendable.
I just remembered my mother (the late Mona Kapoor) at that time. She loved my father and would have wanted me to be there with him. The byproduct of that is that I got to meet two girls (Janhvi and Khushi Kapoor), who are actually not so different from me. In life, you hold on to a lot of questions, there’s a lot of confusion, dilemma... you have so many things that are not answered. Then comes a moment where you just learn how to let go and begin anew. You think why carry the baggage? You are like, chodo yaar, let’s move ahead. Let’s start again. It wasn’t easy but it was the right thing to do.