Why is only a woman’s reputation sacred and not a man’s? Does he not have a career? Social respect?-Pooja Bedi
7:52 AM
By Pooja Bedi (BOMBAY TIMES; May 9, 2019)
My best friend Karan Oberoi has been arrested for “Rape & extortion” and drugging and filming the complainant. The publicly known facts of the case are that they met end 2016 on a dating app. In October 2018, Karan Oberoi filed an NC against the woman for harassment. In her interview to the Times of India in November 2018, she states they had been in “a relationship”, that she had showered him with gifts and done up his apartment, and that she felt bad to pressure him for marriage because he was in a bad financial position. However, this week in May 2019 she has filed a case of rape and extortion, claiming it happened sometime in January 2017. The statements in her interview given in November 2018 are in direct contrast to her FIR in May 2019, which states that the “alleged” crime took place in 2017.
It’s glaringly obvious at to what is going on, but we cannot term it a fake case until it proven to be so in court of law. But what happens in the interim. She has cleverly lodged the FIR the day the High Court went to holiday so he can’t apply for bail for a month. The media has jumped on to it, hashtags of #rapist, loss of his reputation and years of fan following, damage to his career, his family is in turmoil, the physical distress given conditions of lock up... the list goes on. We showed the police overwhelming evidence in regards to her messages on his phone, but the saddest part is even if the police can see that the man is innocent, they have to take action based on the FIR, arrest him and follow due process of law. Even more bizarre was that he and she were both sent for medical tests even though the alleged incident happened 2.5 years ago, because it’s due process. This brings into focus the increasing need to focus on men’s rights as a human rights issue as well. Over the years, there has been a steady clamour among single and married men in India as to how provisions of the law meant to protect women are being misused by women for personal vendetta and extortion. I’m all for women power and women’s rights and come from a family of very strong, dynamic and liberated women who have heralded change and reform for women and their rights.
However, today (and I have done so in the past as well), I firmly stand in support of men’s rights and beginning of a #MenToo movement. The rising number of fake cases against men is not only women against men, but also women against women, as it weakens the purpose it was created for. The joy of knowing that a woman’s rights are protected and she has strong recourse in law is now increasingly being met with suspicion as to whether it’s a case of misuse. We cannot have an equal society if we are so focussed on protecting what we consider a “weaker sex”, that we refuse to openly acknowledging rising number of women as tyrants. Being a “rape or abuse complainant” gives women an almost “holy cow” status and people get scared to point out that she’s lying or manipulating the law. It’s almost sacrilegious to challenge a woman’s claim or to stand up for a man if you consider him a victim. Women have rights, but they are not above the law and that needs to be made very clear by prosecuting women who file fake cases. We need to have equally stringent punishments for women who unfairly and baselessly use provisions of law to subject men to tough laws and procedures. Most importantly, in the quest for equal rights is the need to protect the identity of men until they are proven guilty. Why is only a woman’s reputation sacred and not a man’s? Does he not have a career? Social respect? Family? If a woman is found guilty of a fake case, she should also be publicly named and shamed, like what happens to men. Let’s focus on equal laws to protect, equal laws to punish, and a fight for an equal society. It’s time for #MenToo.
My best friend Karan Oberoi has been arrested for “Rape & extortion” and drugging and filming the complainant. The publicly known facts of the case are that they met end 2016 on a dating app. In October 2018, Karan Oberoi filed an NC against the woman for harassment. In her interview to the Times of India in November 2018, she states they had been in “a relationship”, that she had showered him with gifts and done up his apartment, and that she felt bad to pressure him for marriage because he was in a bad financial position. However, this week in May 2019 she has filed a case of rape and extortion, claiming it happened sometime in January 2017. The statements in her interview given in November 2018 are in direct contrast to her FIR in May 2019, which states that the “alleged” crime took place in 2017.It’s glaringly obvious at to what is going on, but we cannot term it a fake case until it proven to be so in court of law. But what happens in the interim. She has cleverly lodged the FIR the day the High Court went to holiday so he can’t apply for bail for a month. The media has jumped on to it, hashtags of #rapist, loss of his reputation and years of fan following, damage to his career, his family is in turmoil, the physical distress given conditions of lock up... the list goes on. We showed the police overwhelming evidence in regards to her messages on his phone, but the saddest part is even if the police can see that the man is innocent, they have to take action based on the FIR, arrest him and follow due process of law. Even more bizarre was that he and she were both sent for medical tests even though the alleged incident happened 2.5 years ago, because it’s due process. This brings into focus the increasing need to focus on men’s rights as a human rights issue as well. Over the years, there has been a steady clamour among single and married men in India as to how provisions of the law meant to protect women are being misused by women for personal vendetta and extortion. I’m all for women power and women’s rights and come from a family of very strong, dynamic and liberated women who have heralded change and reform for women and their rights.
However, today (and I have done so in the past as well), I firmly stand in support of men’s rights and beginning of a #MenToo movement. The rising number of fake cases against men is not only women against men, but also women against women, as it weakens the purpose it was created for. The joy of knowing that a woman’s rights are protected and she has strong recourse in law is now increasingly being met with suspicion as to whether it’s a case of misuse. We cannot have an equal society if we are so focussed on protecting what we consider a “weaker sex”, that we refuse to openly acknowledging rising number of women as tyrants. Being a “rape or abuse complainant” gives women an almost “holy cow” status and people get scared to point out that she’s lying or manipulating the law. It’s almost sacrilegious to challenge a woman’s claim or to stand up for a man if you consider him a victim. Women have rights, but they are not above the law and that needs to be made very clear by prosecuting women who file fake cases. We need to have equally stringent punishments for women who unfairly and baselessly use provisions of law to subject men to tough laws and procedures. Most importantly, in the quest for equal rights is the need to protect the identity of men until they are proven guilty. Why is only a woman’s reputation sacred and not a man’s? Does he not have a career? Social respect? Family? If a woman is found guilty of a fake case, she should also be publicly named and shamed, like what happens to men. Let’s focus on equal laws to protect, equal laws to punish, and a fight for an equal society. It’s time for #MenToo.
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