Innocent, happy and rather care free. That was the Pratyusha Banerjee I first saw around six years ago when she'd just started shooting for Balika Vadhu. She was full of life and little did one imagine then that a day would come when she would take her own life, unable to cope with the perils of instant fame.

Pratyusha is not the only one. There are innumerable cases where actors have fallen prey to the dark side of fame that invariably brings along with it insecurities, financial and relationship issues leading to depression. Their stories may not be known to the world but their near and dear ones have seen them crumble mentally and emotionally.

As psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty puts it, “After having the universe at one's feet with the arclights, a sudden shift is perceived by these individuals as a fall from Mount Everest. As superstars become meteorites in the unpredictable world of showbiz, few collapse and cling to their lovers for solace. And when the love fails, the collapse of meaning in life can lead to self-harm.“

Pratyusha's suicide too wasn't just a case of a love story going awry, there was a lot more to it. As a friend of hers sums it up, “She became very popular in a short span of time, but after she lost out on Balika Vadhu in 2013, her life changed. She bagged a couple of roles, but the shows didn't do well. After a gap, she recently participated in the reality show Power Couple. In recent times, she had a lot of financial problems because she was used to a particular lifestyle but there wasn't much income. Amidst all this, there was also the stress of her relationship with her boyfriend Rahul Raj Singh, who had became the focal point of her existence. She was insecure and wanted to marry him soon.“

TV WORLD'S DARK SIDE
Like Pratyusha who came from Jamshedpur, many youngsters come to Mumbai from all over the country in the hope of making a mark in Bollywood or television. In the case of TV, the opportunities are more and some manage to make it big. But as soon as their show ends, reality strikes. That's the nature of the industry where the shelf life of an actor is very short and very few manage to have a long, consistent run. Producer Saurabh Tewari aptly describes the journey of a TV star: “They live a complicated life. In films, it takes years to get an opportunity and some recognition, but in television, the entry is easy and if a show clicks, they are suddenly in the limelight and even at their peak within a few weeks. They become as popular as film stars. Then comes their second show where they start charging Rs 60,000-Rs 70,000 per day, which is followed by reality shows and other events. And then the bubble bursts. The limelight begins and ends within three years. With no work and no money coming in, financial problems take a toll and personal relationships too start falling apart.“ In the case of female TV stars, it's even more difficult and within a couple of shows, they are offered mother's roles. Says an actress, who doesn't wish to be named, “When a 25-year-old, who has played the lead, gets offered a role where she is expected to play mother to grown-ups, it's quite devastating! I have been through this phase and I know how upsetting it is. That's when you regret having got into this profession, but it's too late in life to make a switch.“

Rightly so. Many telly actors secretly regret choosing this profession because it's what they call a chakravyuh, which is hard to get out of. Says an actor on condition of anonymity, “Once you get used to the fame, you don't want to give it up and do something else. So, even when you don't have work, you keep trying and hoping that something good will come your way soon. In the process, you end up losing many valuable years of your life after which it's too late to make a full-fledged alternative career.“ That's one of the reasons why many telly actors are trying to get themselves involved in some business or the other, either by starting a production house or a garment business or some entertainment venture.

A SUPPORT SYSTEM IS A MUST
Actors who come from other cities to Mumbai and live alone here are more prone to depression when the going gets tough. Says producer Rajan Shahi, who has been in the industry for over two decades, “Whenever a newcomer works in any of my shows, I spend a lot of time telling them about the bitter facts behind the instant stardom, money and success, which is loneliness, stress and the inevitable 'no work' phase. That's why I say that don't take success or failure too seriously. Fame will come go and come again, keep your heads on your shoulders and always be positive. Keep a good circle of friends and family who will be there to guide you and hold your hand through the tough times. Always save money for the rainy days; in fact, let an elder or somebody trustworthy handle your finances and help you make the right investments.“

RECOGNISE THE SIGNS
Pratyusha's friends from the industry maintain that she was a 'strong' girl and not depressed. But as Dr Shetty explains, “Depression is an invisible illness that escapes the attention of the ordinary eye and can lead to disastrous consequences. Awareness and early detection can save many lives.“

Talking about suicides, psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria says, “It's a combination of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. When a person experiences these, he starts feeling suicidal. Initially it could just be a fleeting thought but then the need to end your life gradually increases. Also, when you are a celebrity, it is very difficult for you to show your true feelings because of the public glare on you. There is always a mask that you put on.“

Professional help is a must, she emphasises. “A friend can lend a shoulder, but he can't really help you. Celebs often find it difficult to take help and as a result, they try to cope with these feelings in different ways by resorting to alcohol and substance abuse. This tends to disinhibit a person, so when there is a suicidal thought, one acts on it,“ says Dr Chhabria.