Malaika Arora Khan, 39, is fiercely independent, extremely emotional and madly in love with her first boyfriend, and now husband, Arbaaz Khan, who she has known for most of her life. You may find her always guarded with a tough exterior, given the world she lives in, but when you meet this petite looking beautiful lady in her home, she is extremely warm and open. Malaika is a pure Scorpion with two sides to her. She loves the fact that no one can mess with her, but hates her temper. She is very responsible and knows that she can look after everything when she is around. And while you may find it hard to believe it, she is a great cook and very much the pure rice, sambhar and fish Mallu girl. Despite having been offered several roles in her life, acting never interested her. What did, was only songs and dance. Over an hour-long conversation, post the launch of her latest song Fashion Khatam Mujhpe from Dolly Ki Doli, she talks to Bombay Times about her independent growing up years, her anchor Arbaaz and why Sohail Khan is her most favourite member from Arbaaz's family. Excerpts:

Let's talk about your growing up years?
My father was a Punjabi and my mother is a Malayali Catholic. My parents got divorced when I was 11 and so my Mallu genes are far stronger. My mom caught that really early that I was interested in dancing, so right from when I was just four, I learnt ballet and later, Bharatnatyam and then jazz ballet. My mom always encouraged me and would take me from Thane, where we lived, all the way to town to take classes. So I did dance pretty much all my life in some form or the other. After my parents separated, we moved closed to my grandmother's place in Chembur, where my younger sister Amu (Amrita Arora) and I lived with my mother. Due to my formative years, I have this 'Don't approach me' type of image and that is because my guards are always up. I grew up protecting my sister, looking after everything as mom was working, so Amu and I were literally latchkey kids at home, right from when I was 11 and she, 9. I was like the boy in the family. That has toughened me and made me take on the world differently. I would make sure that my sister ate and that we went for our tuitions. Mom always made sure that she was back on time, as dinner had to be made. She never encouraged us to cook. Every time I wanted to get into the kitchen, she wouldn't let us, as she knew we had enough on our plate already. A few years later when I was 14, mom got remarried. I was always a rebel and an independent child. For me, my teenage years of coping with mom wanting to be with another person was very difficult, though later, I grew out of it. My mom also was my only anchor, till Arbaaz came into my life when I was 18. My life changed for me when I started working, and that was the best decision of my life.

Talk about your relationship with your mother?
Mom is a very strong person and I am a complete reflection of her. We are both strong women. She is headstrong, very strict, a disciplinarian and fierce as she was constantly protecting us. We grew up in a predominantly female-oriented environment. We are the kind of family that we live in each other's faces.

Were you in touch with your father after your parents separated?
We lost touch with him after they separated, but years later when I was 18, I felt the need to connect with him and I did. We lost him when I was pregnant with Arhaan, and my step-dad is my dad today.

How did you meet your husband Arbaaz Khan?
I was in first year of Jai Hind College when I dropped out to do modelling. My sister was actually modelling for an ad and I had just gone along with her, till Suresh Natarajan saw me and took my pictures. I featured on the cover of a magazine, where I was shot by five of the top photographers and by the end of it, I had decided that I would quit college to take up full-time modelling. For me, being independent was always a necessity. I hated being caged and am like that even today. I did modelling for a bit, till I got chosen as the first VJ for MTV. I was not a conventional VJ who you expect would be talkative and animated. I was just the opposite, playing a sexy agony aunt and that became my USP. I had lots of love letters with someone wanting to even insure my legs, but at the same time, I had my head screwed onto my shoulders. Farah Khan was looking for someone to do Chaiyya Chaiyya. She saw me after seeing my video with Jas Arora. She and Arbaaz were good friends, so she called me through him and I danced to do my first Hindi song. I met Arbaaz for the first time while modelling for the MR coffee ad when I was 18. By the end of the shoot, we were fully in love with each other and dated for five years, after which I asked him to marry me. My mom would, of course, make me aware every single day that I was in love with a Muslim man from a filmi family, but I was madly in love. I didn't really date anyone till I met him.

Who do you love the most in the world?
Apart from my Arhaan, I have known Arbaaz for most part of my life and I love my sister to death.

Talk about Arbaaz?
He is my anchor and the most rock solid person in my life. No matter however many ups and downs, he knows me thoroughly, sometimes better than what I know myself. He is the most grounded person I have ever met. Nothing about him was superficial, he is just the way he is. It's so uncanny. Even before I had shot the MR coffee ad with him, Amu and I had gone clubbing one night when we saw Arbaaz and his friend Sajid Khan DJing. My sister was nuts about Salman, just like all other girls, as he was a big star even then. But for me, when I saw Arbaaz, I told her, 'You girls like Salman right? I like him. He is my kind of guy.' And next thing I see is, I am shooting with him in MR coffee, falling instantly in love with him. Arbaaz is a complete reflection of his father.

How are Arbaaz and Salim sahab similar?
I find them very alike, be it their likes, dislikes or their views on life. They are both very intelligent and perceptive human beings, who can engage you in any conversation and both of them love cricket. They are both proud men and be it their mannerisms or the way they talk or think, they are similar and I think that's why Arbaaz has the maximum arguments with him, as both are very opinionated and hot headed. He is a complete reflection of him.

Who is your favourite family member in Arbaaz's family?
Sohail. That holds from the first time I walked into his house. Earlier, I would go to Arbaaz's house post dark, so that hardly anybody was around. I would be chilling in his room, spending time with him. It was a standing joke for years in his house, where nobody knew what Arbaaz did in his 2x2 room (that is now merged into the dining area of Galaxy), as he would not emerge from his room ever. His room was the tiniest and the messiest, till I went there and thought you can't be staying in such squalor. He was a homebody and a recluse. He is far more forthright now that he was not at all then. When I first entered the house, the first person I saw was Sohail, sitting on the terrace in tiny denim hot shorts, no shirt, with his tousled hair, sitting and sun bathing on that terrace of his, and he was so sweet and welcoming. And you could see that there was no pretence as since then, he has been like that only .

I may not say that to him too often, but it's true. He will put you at ease, no matter what. He is a man of a few words and is virtually non-communicative and is barely audible, but if you ask any kid in the family who their favourite is, they will all say Sohail chachu. It goes without saying, and I feel the same way.

Talk about your sister Amrita?
Amu is the most happy-go-lucky person you will ever meet. I am her exact opposite. She is the most solid person in my life, apart from Arbaaz. I am a thinker, a bit of a brooder, who gets too emotional. I can cry easily, flare easily. My emotions are heightened at all times. I can be hyper and am very anal about things, and while Amu is very lackadaisical, I am finicky and house-proud. She is scared of me and for the longest time, she would call me didi till one day, I got fed up of her calling me that. Can you imagine when she finished Class X, I asked her what she wanted to do and she tells me, 'I want to go and see where Salman Khan stays.' Years later, we told Salman that. She would embarrass me so much as she was a total Salman fan.

What does Arbaaz like the most about you?
He finds me a no-nonsense and a very balanced person. While he is very indecisive, I am just the opposite. He is very open to ideas and opinions and he will probably do his own thing at the end of it, but he is so indecisive. So I think he depends on me for my opinion. I am not a control freak, but I take charge.

According to you, who amongst all the male stars is the best dancer?
Hrithik Roshan. Oh my God there are no two ways about it, he is a brilliant dancer. I would give my right arm to dance with him.