If not for filmmaker Sooraj R Barjatya, Renuka Shahane would possibly have given up acting nearly three decades ago. At least, that, she recalls, had been the plan. After playing Pooja in the 1994 blockbuster, Hum Aapke Hain Koun…!, Shahane had almost made up her mind to quit being in front of the camera. She wanted to pursue a filmmaking course at the Film and Television Institute of India in Pune. "I told Sooraji about my plans. And he said, 'Are you crazy, you just can't leave [acting]'." Barjatya instead suggested that she learn on the job. "He said, 'Look at me, I don't have technical training. If you get a good team [to work with you], and have a vision and story to tell, nothing should stop you.' That seemed to make a lot of sense, because I was getting a lot of [acting] offers at that time," recounts Shahane, when we speak to her days ahead of the release of her Hindi directorial debut on Netflix, Tribhanga—Tedhi Medhi Crazy.

Starring Kajol, Tanvi Azmi, and Mithila Palkar, it's a dream that took an eternity to realise, but patience has been second nature to her. "I have always been passionate about direction. I began by assisting Dr Vijaya Mehta in the serial Lifeline [it aired on Doordarshan]. I was the fourth assistant there. Vijayabai was like an institution. She was so thorough and such a great guru to have. At that point, I thought I am going to do this forever. After my MA in Psychology, I was planning to do a PhD and then go to film school. Basically, I wanted to take the proper route and get trained. But life happened, and I became a professional actor."

She, however, kept waiting for an opportunity to come to her. In the late 1990s, she directed an episode for Zee Television's Rishtey, a drama series that focused on human relationships. "I took a sabbatical when my kids were born. At that time, it was my husband [Ashutosh Rana], who reminded me of my dream. He said, 'Listen you have some time at home, so why don't you work on a screenplay?'" Shahane turned homewards for inspiration, directing the Marathi film Rita (2009), based on her mother, veteran writer-translator Shanta Gokhale's book, Rita Welingkar. "I absolutely loved that novel, and because it was my mom's work, I didn't have to worry with permissions," she laughs. "When the screenplay turned out well, mom said, 'You have a writer in you'."

It's around that time that the two worlds of writing and direction collided. This is the first time that Shahane is bringing an original story of hers to life, and it hasn't come easy. "These characters first formed in my head in 2013, when I had participated in Mumbai Mantra's Sundance Institute Screenwriters Lab. Though, I had done a film, I had wanted some mentoring, in order to understand how stories are constructed," she says.

The idea for the plot, Shahane says, had come to her many years ago, when she was shooting for the show, Surabhi (1990-2001) with Siddharth Kak. "I had met a woman who was recently married. She told me that she was finally happy to be free from the clutches of her mother, whom she hated. I was stunned by the fact. I have such an excellent relationship with mine; she is my core. That was really the starting point. I wanted to write about women, who are not looking for men to marry, who are not somebody's wives. It was also about the choices they made, how those choices passed down from generation to generation. That is at the crux of the story."

When an estranged mother (Azmi) slips into coma, her daughter played by Kajol, a self-made single mom grapples with regret and resentment, while reflecting on their strained relationship.

The script, she says, was mentored at the lab with writers like Bill Wheeler, Anjum Rajabali and Asif Kapadia giving her direction and suggestions. But, it took another three years to develop it, before director Siddharth Malhotra agreed to produce it along with Ajay Devgn.

During this time, it was Gokhale, who was her sounding board. "It's just so nice to have her around. Writing can be a very lonely process, and you require a support system that truly understands what you go through, and mom understands that beautifully. She has also written scripts. There are these tricks of the trade that she shares with me, or some perspective that she comes up with, which helps break the writer's block that I experience very often," says Shahane, adding, "I must admit that I am not a prolific writer. If it flows, it really flows. Sometimes, I am interrupted by everyday duties, and there can be months, when I am absolutely blank in the head. That's when my mother's tricks help me."

Gokhale, she says, is not just a gifted storyteller, but also her biggest inspiration. "I think mom's writing and thought process has influenced me a lot. She is such a committed writer, and there is so much that I need to learn from her—the discipline, the craft. And these you cannot just pass down. But, whenever she reads my writing, she says that I have a quirkiness, which she would love to have in her own. That, I think, is a big compliment."

Shahane now hopes to continue writing and direction, even more seriously. "Everyone in my team is telling me that I better not take another 10 years to make the next film," she says, breaking into giggles. "To be honest, I really like the process of writing. I am not fond of being in the public eye. That's a journey that I am very uncomfortable with. Although, I am on social media, and I am a very social person, I love my solitude.

Writing allows me that," she says. "I might, though, look out for scripts by other writers [that I can direct], because writing for me is very slow. I am also overcritical about my work. So, if it takes time, it does."

Model, theatre artiste, film and TV actor, Neena Kulkarni discusses her career spanning 40 years...
Yogesh Pawar (DNA; September 23, 2017)

As a model, theatre person, film and TV actor, filmmaker and columnist, Neena Kulkarni wears several hats and brings the sincerity of her craft to every frame making each character she portrays, real and imbuing even similar ones with an edge that make them different. To do this once in a while is itself worthy of admiration so what does one say to someone, who has done this for four decades. On the completion of 40 years in the industry, the seasoned actor opened up on her exceptional work, her life and her hopes from the future...

It’s been four decades of acting. Does it still thrill you like when you started in the mid-70s?
Of course, it does. Nothing gives me the same high as acting. Acting will always be my biggest love. I think that’s happened because I’ve enjoyed and made the most of every part, however, big or small. I’ve almost never taken up a part that I didn’t like under compulsion.

Do you feel the Padma awards have taken their time to find you? After the National award for Shevri (2006) and state awards for theatre and films, not many have come your way?
What is recognition after all? Recognition and love I get from people when I step out? The way someone recalls/praises a play/serial/ad I did even from the early 80s? Or the respect and warmth I receive from people in the fraternity? Isn’t that more important and satisfying? Having said that, I haven’t stopped hungering. Who knows, a better, more challenging role and the recognition it will bring in its wake may still be ahead. After all, we live in really interesting times when filmmakers are pushing the envelope, both with subjects and genres.

How does that affect you?
You know how this plays out. An actress is assumed to have a certain shelf life after which she’s thrust into a ‘character role.’ I’m 62. There was a time when someone my age would be just another glorified prop, but not so anymore. One of the nicest things about contemporary takes on gender and sexuality have meant assertive women. And filmmaking has had to make space for that. That is why films are being written for a Meryl Streep, a Judi Dench or a Sridevi here. Even if one has to etch a mother she isn’t simply filling the frame. Look at how wonderfully Shabana ji (Azmi)’s character stood out in Neerja.

Didn’t you too audition for that part?
Well, I did. And given the prep that I put in, I won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt to not get it. But when I saw the film, I was floored with what Shabana ji brought to the role. We come from really different schools of acting so obviously her take on the character is very different from mine.

You did not grow up in a filmi family.
Not at all. I was always the upper middle-class Mahim girl. My parents were both doctors and really well-respected names in the medical fraternity and I schooled at Canossa Convent and then pursued my BA from Elphinstone College. So acting happened as a matter of chance.

Really?
You can blame that on our short college hours and lack of diversions like social media. (Laughs) We’d have a lot of time on our hands. I’d begun doing fashion shows and modelling for a lark even doing the odd experimental play. My progressive parents were quite supportive and never resisted. And so I carried on.

And then you met Pt Satyadev Dubey?
Satyadevji is known as a director, actor, playwright and screenwriter. But his greatest contribution has been his mentoring of an entire generation of actors helping them discover their own strengths. Imagine my luck that I met this walking encyclopedia of theatre and went on to be part of several productions under him. Though extremely moody and temperamental, he was a very generous teacher. I was young and all of this was totally new, so I’d be excited about everything. I hadn’t had any formal training in acting. It all began with Satyadev ji. He’d make us learn the whole play, all dialogues for all parts. And anyone could be called to play anyone if that person didn’t turn up. It trained and opened up doors for me to act in other plays like Mohan Rakesh’s Adhe Adhure, Shankar Shesh’s Mayavi Sarovar and Willie Russell’s Educating Rita.

You were to shortly meet your second mentor Vijaya Mehta...
All of us call her 'Bai' respectfully. She was already quite a big name and I was quite chuffed she chose me to play Shabbo in Anil Barve's Hamidabai chi Kothi (1978). The grammar, craft and technique of her theatre work is at a complete variance from Satyadev ji. She wants you to find your character yourself. Given my enthusiasm, I adapted and picked up soon. It set the stage for me to do iconic plays like Mahasagar and Savitri with her. Later I did other plays like DhyaaniMani, Prem Patra and Vatvat Savitri. A few years ago in a hugely emotional development, I got to step into Bai's shoes and play Hamidabai's character which she played when the play was revived. At her behest, I have joined her to conduct workshops for young actors.

You also did a play with autobiographical shades of the dynamics between Medha Patkar and her ex over her career and cause choices.
Yes, a lot of people saw resonances of her life in a play I did with my late husband Dilip, Aaicha Ghar Unhaat. I only met her much later personally when she was asking many of us to join her in the Narmada Movement.

And did you?
No, I didn’t. I felt it should be something one does full-fledged and not as occasional photo-ops. I was by then faced with the prospect of running a home by myself and couldn’t make time.

Are you talking about the passing away of your husband Dilip Kulkarni?
Yes, till it happened very suddenly in 2002, I’d thought of what I do as only a passion. True, I contributed to the family kitty, but he was the man of the house in my head. You know, he acted as a part-time thing, but worked in a cooperative bank full time. With his passing away, once I was past the sorrow what stared at me was providing for my two children and running the house.

Do you still miss him?
I know it’s been 15 years. I’ve reconciled to the idea of his passing away, but how can one not miss a partner one loved and shared a life with? You know when we first met during rehearsals for a play, he’d maintain a shy distance. That drew me to him and made me fall in love. We came from really different backgrounds. He came from a working class background in Deolali and was settled here in a bank job. On my insistence, he agreed to buy a flat in the same housing society I grew up in from early childhood and set home here. Even now when I’m by myself I feel like talking to him.

Your children are both in the entertainment industry now.
Yes, but both have decided to be behind the scenes. My daughter is into TV production and my son is into advertising.

Speaking of the latter, you are an Indian model with one of the longest innings. Aren’t you?
Well, I began early. I was the Clearasil girl when I was barely 16. I have played everything from young girl, wife, mother, elderly old age home inmate selling everything from hair oil, insurance and what have you. I have never sought work. But over the years, people have always approached me and I feel lucky to have done campaigns like Bisleri, Sprite, Mother Diary, Cadbury and Life Insurance Corporation and others. Besides, ads don’t tie you down to a project for long.

You mean daily soaps like Yeh Hai Mohabbatein where you are Madhavi Vishwanathan Iyer since 2013?
TV is no longer the poor cousin of the big screen. With its wide reach, it has pulled actors towards it. Actors of my seniority too get a lot of different characters without getting stereotyped. Many big actors are coming to the small screen since it gives them a direct connect with fans. But I must mention here that sometimes TV can be a blur. Some people think as long as they look good and say their lines properly, it’s fine. This is unfair to other actors really working on their craft. But given the rush, even a not-so-good take is canned and often makes it on air too. That hurts because I come from a culture of worshipping my work.

Will you continue to do plays?
I’ll continue to do theatre till I breathe. I only feel the work should challenge me. Wedding Album or a Mahatma versus Gandhi with Naseeruddin Shah was quite fulfilling and I want more of that kind of work. The last play I was doing was Chaapa Kaata. After I point, I was unhappy about turning up at work. The idea of travelling long distances for a three-hour-show, which is not doing anything for me got to me and I stopped doing that play.

And you’re equally selective about films?
The medium seems to love me. I’ve worked with greats like Mani Ratnam, Amol Palekar, Priyadarshan and Shankar. I even played a cameo opposite Amitabh Bachchan (Bhoothnath) because it was a BR Films project. Also, many new indie filmmakers are doing fascinating stuff. It will be great to work with them. Unlike TV, here it matters who the director is and what the set-up is.

You have to talk about working with Judi Dench.
The modesty and humility of a legend like Judi Dench can only be seen to be believed. For a scene in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel where she was not even in the frame, just to cue me she came and stood in front. Here if an actor realised that s/he was not in the frame a spot boy would replace her/him.

You've done a French TV series Raani which ran to great acclaim on channel France Deux and a French film Noces. Did you learn especially learn French?
French was what I majored in while graduating from Elphinstone College. I did occasional translation jobs till I got drawn to fashion, modelling and acting. Of course, my French is quite rusty but in both these projects, it suited the context of my characters. I haven't quite gotten over the fun we had while shooting for Noces in Luxembourg last year.

Who are your favourite young actors among the current lot?
I think almost all of them bring such energy and drive to what they are doing that its almost inspiring. When we began we were just looking for work. These guys come looking careers.

Any advice for the younger actors?
Who am I to advise anyone anything when I learn so much from them? I have learnt to lighten up, live the moment and have fun. They help me stay young. Who would have thought, but it’s also kept me busy on social media.

Who are you closest to in the industry?
Given my innings, I get along with almost everyone. But in the passing away of Reema Lagoo, I have lost a soulmate. A fellow acolyte of Vijaya Bai, I’d discuss anything personal/professional with her with complete ease. I’ve now reached a stage where I prefer being a loner.